Aah!
Come on.
Wow. This is one of the nicest sewers we've been in.
It's stinky.
No, darlin'. That's me.
Simon!
Aww.
Not to worry.
Guess who always carries around a sewing kit?
Simon, what would I do without you?
Oh, you'd be just fine, I promise.
Better than fine. You're so great, Marceline.
Someone else would definitely find you and take care of you.
Maybe even someone rich.
Yeah, you'd be living in a castle
with food and medicine and— and trained squirrels
to tend to your every need.
As for me, I'd, uh...
I don't know. Oh.
Ah...
Ah, is that supposed to happen?
Ah!
Is the burning of the pants a 20th-century ritual?
I liked the cave folks in there.
Yeah, the cave folks were great.
Greetings, visitors.
My name is Simon Petrikov,
and I'm an antiquarian living in the 20th century.
Burning pants is a daily ritual observed by everyone in my time.
Now, I'd be happy to answer any other questions you might have.
Mm! Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm!
Anyone?
Yeah, I got a question.
Down here.
What's that?
Great question.
By the way,
did you know that in the 20th century, you dogs couldn't talk?
Answer the question!
Oh. Uh, it's a phone.
What's that above it?
Also a phone.
It's shaped like a football, but it's a phone.
Is this also a phone?
It's a blow dryer.
Why isn't it a phone?
Next question.
What's it like to have ice powers?
Uh, it's great.
Our 20th-century refrigerators had freezer compartments,
many of which made their own ice.
Why did you stop writing Fionna and Cake stories?
Look, I told you yesterday
and the day before that—
I didn't write those.
Ice King wrote those.
But if you're interested
in reading something actually good,
I wrote a book about ancient artifacts.
He used to be a really cool ice wizard
who wrote my favorite book series,
but then his girlfriend or fiancée or something
did something bonkers
and turned him into a boring sad guy.
Ha!
Uh.
Can you at least sign my book?
Aw. Oh, jeez.
What's under here?
Huh?
No! That's private!
Hey! Let go!
Uh, sorry, doggy.
Sorry.
Sorry, everybody.
The exhibit is closing early today.
Uh...
Sorry. Uh...
Uh...
Please leave!
What's this room for?
Walls down!
People in the 20th century were real tranches.
Hey there, Mr. Petrikov.
What can I get started for you?
Just the usual.
Wait, extra olives and cocktail onions.
No ice!
Just— Just no more ice, ever. Okay?
All right. Straight up. You got it.
Olives.
Onions.
Thanks, Dirt Beer Guy.
Shall I put it on your tab?
Yeah.
Actually, I think I'll close it out.
What's up? You seem a little tense.
No, everything's fine.
Same old, same old.
Huh. That's really something.
So...
about the latest "Joe Milkshake" manuscript I gave you.
Did you get a chance to look it over?
Oh, uh, no pressure or anything.
But your old stuff, Fionna and Cake,
I mean, honest to Glob, man,
it is such an inspiration to me.
My old stuff.
I don't really want to talk about my old stuff.
Why not? You should be proud.
You wrote an entire extended universe—
in a fugue state, if you think about it.
You know, Simon,
I used to bust your balls about those old stories,
but I really came around to them.
Oh, Finn. You too?
Yeah. Jake loved them.
Yeah, he's the one who convinced us they were good.
Honestly, I like them better than Finn and Dad.
No, no, no. I'm serious.
I don't want to talk about them.
I'm not proud of them. No more Fionna and Cake.
Dude, what's wrong?
I'm not Ice King. I'm not magic.
I can't relate to Fionna and Cake anymore.
I can't relate to any of this anymore—
this world, these people.
But there's more humans than ever now.
Not just your boy Finn the H.
Heh, sure. Cool, funky future humans.
I might as well be a dinosaur to you all.
I'm sorry, Simon.
Sometimes I used to dress up like Ice King
after I became me again.
I guess I missed being him, in a way.
Things felt simpler back then. I...
I was too out of it to understand
how screwed up my life was.
Ah, but even that stopped working after a while.
Have you talked to Marcy about any of this?
Nah. I-I didn't want to freak her out.
Well, hey, there's always tomorrow, right?
You don't understand. It's all the same for me.
Every day is just an unending slog towards...
towards what?
A quest!
Friend, I'm taking you on a quest!
That's just the thing to make you feel better!
That sounds hazardous.
Yes! Exactly!
Once I take you to the edge of death,
you'll feel alive again!
Come on, TV. It's questin' time!
Okay. Coming.
F-Finn, are you sure about—
Aaaaaaaaaah!
Whoa-oa!
Hmm. Maybe we can take it down a notch.
Uh!
Finn, is this blindfold really necessary?
Totally necessary, man. Onward!
Oh!
What the...
Why didn't you tell me about the tree?
What tree?
Finn! I thought you were leading.
Come on! Trust in fate.
The invisible forces of the universe
will guide us right where we need to be.
Huh? You know where we are?
We're in the most ancient part of Ooo.
Huntress Wizard calls it the heart of the forest.
The heart, huh? Yeah.
She said no one should ever, ever, ever come here.
Well, let's set up camp.
Why don't you catch us a fish from that creek we passed?
Yeah, okay.
Ohh.
Huh?
Aah!
Uhh!
Oh!
Don't eat me!
La la la la la!
Third nostril.
Good job, bait. Feel better yet?
Huh?
There was a little guy in there.
Thank you for your sacrifice, O majestic one.
The little guy and a third nostril.
Mmm-mmm!
Simon, we have like a ton of mudskipper here.
You're just gonna eat an egg?
Hmm?
Oh, I'm not going to eat it.
It's for the coffee.
It's a little trick I learned
to help the grounds settle and clarify the brew.
Or you can just use cold water, too.
It's a secret to cowboy coffee.
Neat! Where'd you pick that up?
It might surprise you to learn
I used to be quite the outdoorsman in my day.
Mmm!
So that's what cowboy tastes like.
Huh.
This place reminds me of a forest
I camped out in once years ago.
We were on an expedition in Java,
searching for a lost temple,
when we were caught in a freak rainstorm.
Rainstorm?
Huh. Half our supplies washed away.
Ah, but Betty somehow put together a four-star dinner.
Betty.
Hey, now.
Talking about sad stuff gets you nowhere.
Forget about it.
Uh...
Uh.
Hey! The fire's getting awful low.
Why don't you gather us some more firewood?
Firewood.
Sure.
Yeah, Finn. Just keep him busy, and everything will be fine.
Mm-hmm.
Uhh!
Ooh!
What am I doing here?
Gah!
Now, them some sticks.
Aah!
T-Think fast. B-Bear.
M-Make yourself bigger.
Raaar!
Hey, it worked.
Oh, no.
Aaaaah! Simon!
Go, Simon! Hit it in the face!
Aaah!
Evil bear!
Suck these knunks!
Finn! Be careful!
Simon! You got this.
Stab it in the heart.
Uh... okay.
This is your kill window.
Kill window!
Ah!
Aaah!
Uh.
Time to finish this.
Ooh!
Oof.
Finn?
Are you okay? Your back's kind of...
Huh?
Does it look cool?
I've seen worse.
How about you? Are your bad feelings gone?
Uh, yeah. Much better.
But I think I'm ready to go back now.
Cool, cool, cool. I'll walk you part way.
Okay, let's go.
Oh, yeah.
Looks like here is where we part.
I'm gonna stop off and see Huntress Wizard.
Where do I go?
Just follow the river from here.
It'll take you back to where you want to be.
Yeah, right. Where I want to be.
No, for real. The human city is that way.
Well, thanks, Finn, for... everything.
No prob, Bob. I love fixing people.
Later!
Whee!
Simon! Marceline.
Simon, you won't believe what I'm doing right now.
Me and P.B. are getting matching tattoos!
Hey, Simon!
Well, trying to get tattoos.
My skin keeps healing over.
Whatever.
So, h-how you been? How's work?
Um, I'm good. Work's great.
Uh, I made a little girl cry earlier today.
Wait, what was that? Can you say it again, louder?
It's nothing. Everything's fine.
Hey, you're doing good, right?
Marceline?
Marce— Simon!
Phoebe's arm is gumming up the machine.
And it's hilarious!
Oh, that tickles!
It's so gross!
Oh, uh, got to go.
The tattoo artist is getting really pissed.
But let's hang out soon, for real! Bye!
Bye.
"Fionna didn't know what secrets lay in the Crystal City
at the bottom of the lake.
But she knew there was only one way to find out."
You're right, Fionna.
Evil Choose Goose: Bury the past or even burn,
the suffering you can't unlearn.
You shut up!
Shut up, or I'll stuff you!
Stuff me with lemons and savory spices.
It won't snuff out your existential crisis.
Forever she will languish
while you wallow in anguish.
Why act so stricken?
You know you're too—
Reveal the path and grant me passage.
Reveal the path and grant—
The portal won't open, you massive fake.
You belong in the trash with Fionna and Cake!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Reveal the path and grant me passage!
Reveal the path!
No.
I failed you again, Betty.
Wha— huh?