Blankie me.
Blankie me, Finn!
I'll get your blanket, dude.
- Where is it? - Right here.
Why don't you just get it yourself?
- Because I'm sick! - Poor guy.
- Too hot! - Oh, man, Jake.
Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
Soup me, Finny.
Soup flavored cure comin' on through.
- Do you feel better, now? - Yes.
Tell me a story.
- Once upon a time... - No!
I already heard that story before!
But you've already heard all my stories before!
Make me a new one, Finn, a new story.
Okay.
- Got it! Once upon a time... - No!
- What's the matter? - I don't want a made up story.
- I need a real story! - Hmm.
Now you hang on, my friend. I'll be right back!
Okay, world, gimme a story for Jake!
Jake, Jake! Check it out.
This true story is going to totally cure you.
Oh, my gosh, what is it?
First, the leaf fell off a tree.
- Oh, but, wait, wait, wait. - Spit it out!
The snail was on the leaf!
The end.
Oh, no. Now I feel a thousand times worse.
Finn, a story's gotta have excitement!
Romance! Suspense!
And it has to have a happy ending.
But I don't know how to make that stuff happen.
That's okay, buddy. Just dig me a hole then.
Actually, two holes. One for my guts, one for my face.
'Cause when I die, my guts are gonna blow outta my face.
I am not gonna let that happen, dude!
Then go get me that story.
And make sure it has all the stuff on this list.
I'll be back as fast as I can!
I won't let your guts blow out your face!
Hmm.
"Romance."
That should be easy.
Hey, how about you two, are y'all in love?
Uh...
Um...
Are y'all kissin' in there?
Hmm. Maybe I should smoov out my approach a bit.
Whoa!
Hey, so, uh...
Yeah. So, yeah, can I... Um...
- Can I watch you guys kissing? - What?
- Ugh! - I just need to.
For my friend. He's really sick
and unless I tell him about watching you guys kissing...
Uh! What a weirdo! You are one sick man, mister!
Yeah, what this "friend's" name, huh?
- Jake! His name's Jake! - Pfft! Yeah, right.
Sounds pretty fake. Come on, Boobafina, let's get outta here.
- Yeah. - Wait! I'll do anything!
- Would you eat dirt? - I would for Jake!
- Okay, now you guys kiss! - Man, what a freak.
- Let's go. - What? No!
Jake need this. Stop!
Just come on.
- What? No! - Gah! Wait!
You see? No big deal.
I can't believe you made me do that!
I'm secretly in love with Mr. Goose.
And now he'll never love me!
Because now, I'm soiled.
Oh, no, oh, no!
I really did wanna kiss Boobafina.
- I'm secretly in love with her. - Okay, sweet.
No, no. It had to happen naturally.
Now, she'll never love me.
That wasn't smoov.
But it's all worth it to save Jake.
Whatever it takes!
Okay. "A good fight."
- Hey, you wanna fight me? - Oh, heck yeah!
I've been waiting for this my whole life!
Yes!
- Oh, no, you don't! - You never let me do anything!
- You killed him! - Mom! Quit touchin' me!
You killed him and now he's dead!
He's probably not dead.
I'm sorry, though, that you think he's dead!
Hmm.
I don't wanna hurt aminals but... but Jake!
Okay, okay, what's next?
Oh!
"Suspense."
Hey.
Hey, you, guys. You wanna die?
Boys! Boys!
Have you seen my boys?
No!
I can't do it!
I... I can't keep messing with folks.
But Jake needs me.
But I... I can't keep messing with folks.
But Jake's really sick! But I can't.
But... But... But... But...
Ow! Hey! Who threw...
What... what's happening? Are you guys gonna eat me?
You'll see.
Hey, wait!
This is really suspenseful!
Oh!
What is this?
This is the rite of forest justice!
Huzzah!
Finn, the human boy,
for your crimes against the inhabitants of the forest,
you must enter the Earth, and become one with the soil.
Don't I get a trial or something?
No! Lower the cage!
Huzzah!
I'm totes gonna die! And now Jake won't get his story.
And he'll die, too!
'Cause I still don't have a happy ending!
Huh?
Wait a minute! I may be busy dying
but y'all need to get busy living!
Huh?
Y'all are living some unhappy lives!
You, Boobafina...
You love Mr. Goose! You just need to tell him.
- What? - She loves you.
Y'all just need to hook it up!
I... I've been wanting to date you for years.
- You really love me? - I do.
- Oh! Huzzah!
And you, Mr. Fox.
You need to face facts, man.
Boobafina is not interested.
It's time to move on.
It's true. It's for the best.
- And hey! Jerky teenage bear. - What?
Your mom is right! You shouldn't go around
fighting strangers in the forest.
Yeah!
Mama bear! Your son's not a baby anymore!
You should stop spanking him in the face.
He's right. It's time to let you grow up.
Yeah, that's the stuff.
Huzzah!
And Mrs. Cow. Take that bag off your udder.
You're a beautiful girl! You live in the forest.
So why don't you just let it hang out?
Huzzah!
- Oh! Oh! - Oh! Oh!
Yo! Put that bag back on!
Huzzah!
Silence! Finn the human, for meddling in our lives
and disturbing the order of the forest...
we thank you.
What?
Our lives have improved since you came here.
Does that mean you're gonna release me?
Your cage is made of sticks, brother.
- Just kick it apart. - Cool!
I'm comin' for ya, Jake!
With a story!
And then, what's happened?
And then, everyone in the forest was happy.
The end.
- What? What's wrong? - That's was perfect!
- I feel a million times better. - Really?
Yeah, yeah.
The romance stopped my fever, the suspense cured my headache
and everything else cured everything else!
I'm not sick!
Neat.
Finn, come on!
Dance the health dance with me!
No, I'm good.
Ha-ha-ha-achoo!
You allergic to my health dance?
No, I just feel bad.
Oh! Finn, did you catch my sick?
Yeah, I think so.
Well, I know just how to make you feel better.
Blankie, rubby, and best of all,
a good story.
Once upon a time...
The end.
Beemo, turn the music down.
Beemo! Turn it down!
Come on, Beemo, you're messing up my game!
Hey, dude, can I borrow that paper?
Mm-hmm.
Bad computer! No! No!
Now go sit in the corner and think about your life.
Snail attack!
- Oh, sick! - Ugh!
Dude, how do you fight a snail?
Hold on! I got this!
Don't make me use this, man!
Salt!
But I heard you guys were heroes.
We are heroes. We thought you were trying to attack us.
Why'd you break in here all mad
squirting that juice all over us?
It's not mad juice. It's sad juice.
My name's Snorlock, and I'm sad!
Stop squirting slime! Just tell us what's wrong!
I need a girlfriend.
I have no one to love.
Jake, hero huddle. What do you think?
I think our house is all jacked up.
Yeah, but he's just an innocent goober looking for love.
Yeah.
Okay, let's help him.
But he's got to lay off the house.
Right! All right, man.
We'll help you hook up as long as you...
Yay!
Lay off the house, man!
You guys won't help me?
All right! All right! We'll help you, dude!
- Just put our house back! - Okay!
Right after I get a girlfriend.
Aw! All right, you big crazy.
It's a deal!
Jake, what time is it?
I don't know, but you're probably going to say...
Lady Time!
Okay, Snorlock, if you want a lady, you have to be yourself.
How do I be myself?
Uh, how does he be himself, Jake?
Just do whatever you want, man.
As long as it comes from the inside.
- Like sad juice? - No!
You keep that stuff inside you, brother.
- You just got to talk to 'em. - Oh. I never done that.
Finn, you see any hot mamas?
Um... Bam!
Go talk to her!
- Um... Go talk to her!
Okay.
Oh!
- Hello. - Hi.
Mm.
You seem like a reasonable male.
We should go to a movie sometime.
- He's got this. - Yeah.
- Uh... - I like old movies.
Uh, uh...
- Um, are you okay? - Oh! Oh! Oh!
Girlfriend! Girlfriend!
- Girlfriend! Girlfriend!
Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend!
- Girlfriend! - Dude, our house!
- We got to do something! - Relax. I got it.
Snorlock! Hey, Snorlock. You okay, buddy?
Went a little nuts there, guy.
You got to get that under control,
'cause you're scaring ladies and jacking up our house.
I'm sorry.
Are you gonna leave me?
Aw, who could leave you? Come here, you big hot mess.
Break it up, you two! We have ladies to attend to!
- Yeah, the ladies. - Talking to ladies is hard.
No, it's not. Check it out, Snorlock.
Finn, you be the guy snail, and I'll be... the chick snail.
- Ugh! Gross, Jake! - Come on, man.
We're just pretending. Do it for love.
Okay. I'll do it for this guy.
What's up, lady snail?
Well, I'm just sitting here
thinking about mating with snails.
No! I can't do this, man! I am out!
I'll mate with you.
We're just role playing, buddy.
- Aw! - Here, Finn.
This time you be the chick and I'll be the snail dude.
- Hey, baby. What's up? - Ah, wha...
Mm! Mm!
Girl, you smell good.
Did you take a bath in rainbows and cupcakes?
Say "yes"! Say "yes"! Say "yes"! Say "yes"!
- Okay! Yes! - See, Snorlock?
Talking to ladies is easy. Just act like me.
Uh, girl, you smell good.
You can smell me?
- May I smell you more? - Uh, okay.
- Cupcakes. - Uh, I have to go.
- Did you take a bath? - Don't ever talk to me again.
Please don't go! Don't go!
Aw!
Aw, it's okay, buddy. Come here and give us a hug.
Man, I wish you guys were ladies.
- Uh... - Stay focused, Snorlock.
You have any cool talents that ladies might like?
- No. - Um...
Hey, Finn, teach him how to use swords.
The princesses always love this one.
Do you think you can do that, Snorlock?
- I don't know. - Hmm.
Maybe you're musical. Can you do this?
- Try doing all that. - Hmm.
- Whoo-hoo! Yeah! - Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
My word, Eleanor! What is that alluring sound?
- I have no idea. - Yeah, Snorlock!
- Show us that talent! - Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, my! - What is that?
- What is that wonderful sound? - Do I see swords? Oh, look!
Jake, these chicks look pretty serious.
Let's just let Snorlock do his thing.
Go to it, buddy!
- Oh! - Ooh!
Look at him go! Bringing in the ladies.
Uh, he's bringing in a lot of ladies.
Ooh!
Snorlock! These ladies are ruining our tree house!
Stop!
- Whoa! - Whoa!
Wedge, dude!
It's no use, man. It's stuck with snail slime.
Finn, help!
How are we gonna get our house back?
Salt!
- Dude, I'm going in! - What? Jake! No!
You'll get slimmed or grinded on!
Ah!
Snorlock, I'm gonna give you till the count of three, mister!
One, two, three!
Fine. I didn't want to have to do this.
Ow!
Ow! Ow!
Ow!
Oh, my gosh! He is naked!
What? I'm naked? But I never had a shell!
Snorlock, you never had a shell?
That means you're not naked.
- You're a slug! - Me? A slug?
Yeah, man. That's why you have trouble with snail chicks.
You need slug chicks.
I don't know any slug chicks!
Actually, I... I'm not really a snail.
I'm a slug.
My shell's made of peppermint.
That's gross!
I don't know why they had to make out
so close to our house.
I don't know. Come on. Let's finish rebuilding it.
I got some ear plugs you can borrow.
Where's that music coming from?
- Boo! Boo! Boo! - Beemo!
Get over here and help us rebuild the tree house.
- Yeah. You live here, too! - Boo!
Oh, Beemo!
This party is so crazy!