Jake! Jake!
Hey, man, shouldn't we conserve our energy?
The Ice Creamarathon starts tomorrow.
I know what the Ice Creamarathon is.
I've been training for weeks, and I am determined
to eat more ice cream at the Ice Creamarathon
than anyone else!
You sure like ice cream.
Ice cream is good.
What the croak was that?
Came from over there.
Whoa, Jake! Check it out!
It's a brave, little gnome knight.
What? That's a frog dressed up like a gnome knight.
Actually, I'm a gnome knight
who was magically transformed into a frog,
and then I decided to continue being a knight.
And now you're, like, attracting a mate?
No! I'm on the verge of death.
Oh! Well, you should just let go, man.
Yeah. You've had a good run.
No.
I cannot die until I find a being
whose spirit is brave and pure
to take over my quest.
Quest?
Uh-oh. Somebody's gonna do a quest for a frog.
Tell me more about this... quest.
I have to guard these magic beans!
Huh?
Two of the beans are good, but one...
is horribly evil!
I have no idea which is which
so I've spent my life guarding them,
preventing them from ever being planted.
Beans? Ha, ha-ha!
Magic beans.
We'll be right back.
Come on, Finn. I think I dropped my spoon in the bush.
- We will take your quest. - You will?
Sure! Consider it guarded.
Also, take this.
Oh. Uh, okay. Thanks.
No. Thank you.
- Whoa! - Dude, what's going on?
We took over the quest.
What? The beans?
Now, wait a second.
Nope. Too late.
I miss him already.
Well, we should get a move on
if we want to make the Ice Creamarathon.
What about the quest?
Really? We have to do the bean quest?
I gave him my word.
Yeah, I wasn't here for that, so...
Can't we guard the beans and eat ice cream?
No, man. We're on the job.
And like you always say, "Work and fun don't mix..."
"Unless you're a clown."
I do say that a lot.
Gee. Sitting in this hot sun, guarding beans.
Boy, it sure beats 26 miles of vanilla ice cream
or caramel ice cream, or peach ice cream.
Hey, what if we plant the beans ourselves?
- That's a terrible idea. - No, wait. Hear me out.
See, if one of these beans is evil
then it's our duty to crush it once and for all.
Plus, two of the beans are good.
If we plant them, we'll be bringing
twice as much good into the world.
And we can make it to the Ice Creamarathon.
I hadn't even thought about that!
I'm gonna take a catnap.
What? But we have to be ready for evil.
If we take shifts, there's less chance
of us falling asleep at the same time.
All right, Finn, Jake's a lazy bum
and this soil is ripe with evil.
I cannot go to sleep until that evil bean sprouts
and is destroyed.
Aah!
- Wake up, Jake! This is it! - Huh?
Oh!
Aah! Bean pod!
Hmm. I can't tell if it's evil yet!
Huh?
Baby pigs dressed in silly costumes?
Aw, look how cute they look
all sleepy and snorey.
Careful, Jake. It could be a trap.
We should test them to see if they're...
evil.
Okay, each one of you take one test and one pencil.
You have one hour to complete the test
and prove we shouldn't kill you.
And begin.
Aw, they're so cute
they can hardly hold their pencils.
That doesn't fare well for their...
grade-point average.
Nothing evil could be this adorable. Wee-wee!
Hmm, you might be right.
The only thing on here is a cute drawing of an ice cream cone
under "Do you have allerjies?"
Yeah, nothing evil.
Okay. The pigs are good.
Yes! You hear that, guys?
You passed! A-plus!
A-plus-plus!
Oh, no! Jake, get ready!
The second pod is about to drop!
Protect the piglets!
Stay back, babies!
Show me what you have to offer, pod.
Magical wands?
- What? Cool! - Stop, Jake!
- Wow! - Is it evil?
It's a wand that poops glitter.
What's good-er than that?
Whee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
Hmm.
Glitter on its own could be evil.
But with rainbows?
Over my dead body.
Hey, let's have some fun with these pigs
before the evil pod shows up.
Yeah!
- Whew! - I'm exhausted.
They look so sleepy and peaceful.
We have to stay alert.
The evil pod could appear at any time.
When it does, we must be ready to destroy it immediately.
And then go to the Ice Creamarathon, right?
Yeah, man.
Okay. I'll take the first shift.
Rhombus.
Aah! Look! The third pod!
It's bigger than the other two, dude.
Yeah, man. We've got to kill it now.
Huh?
It's squirting.
Squirting?
See? Squirting.
Right here. Tastes good.
Dang, man, don't just lick stuff.
- It's evil. - No, it's not.
It's... ice cream!
Is the evil sucking you in?
Jake!
That was awesome.
Are you poisoned? Are you dying?
No, man! It was awesome!
Look, Jake. It's filling back up.
Aw, yeah!
This pod makes ice cream out of nothing!
It's the goodest thing that's ever happened to me.
Well, if this pod's not evil...
The piglets are gone!
And so are the fairy wands.
Let's go!
The screaming sounds are getting stronger
near Mushroom Town!
Piglets! Stop this!
Aah!
Cram! Now I must find these wicked piglets' weakness
and use it to retro-buse them.
Well, I've found my weakness.
That's it! Ice cream!
What about ice cream?
Yes. Yes.
Ha!
The exams confirm my memory of the piglets
being allergic to ice cream.
Just the thought of that scares me, man.
I see one of them! Get ready to release!
Release!
- Oh, gross. - Gross, man!
- Jake! - Ugh.
Jake.
Jake, are you okay?
- I can't stop dancing! - What?
It must be the glitter!
Whoa. I really can't stop groovin'.
It feels weird!
Go on without me!
Freezed to meet you!
Hope you saved room for dessert!
Killing you with ice cream!
Whoo! Yeah, man!
Whoa!
Jake, there's one left
and I think he's trying to surrender.
Kill it!
But he's dressed as a little construction worker.
It's freakin' adorable.
He's trying to trick you! Kill it!
I just don't know if I can bring myself to do it, Jake.
Why, thank you, Finn and Jake
for sort of saving our village.
You're sort of welcome.
Now, if you'll excuse us,
we need to start removing all of this ice cream
from our homes and businesses.
Not so fast. I'll take it from here, folks.
He likes ice cream.
Ha-ha! Nice job, Tubby.
But save room for the Ice Creamarathon.
I've always got room for ice cream, Finn.
You know that, man.
Ugh. I'm going to the Ice Creamarathon.
He just really likes ice cream.
Oh!
The goblins have suffered long enough, Xergiok!
Shush! You guys can't live without me, right?
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
You got problems, man.
Bah!
You may have beaten me this time, but...
- Ow! Ha-ha! Yeah!
And stay out, muffin top!
Hurrah! Yay!
Finn and Jake!
Finn and Jake! Finn and Jake!
Nyah, great job, warriors.
You've freed us.
I am Gummy, Royal Goblin Chief of staff.
Nice to meet you.
Nyah!
I'm sorry.
I have not known a friendly touch in some time.
You see, Xergiok loved to be a jerk to us.
It's spankin' time!
Yeah! Yeah!
- Yeah! - Ow! Ow! Ow!
Aw, heck, Maria.
I need to ask you something.
Do you want to do this marriage thing with me?
Aw!
Oh, my love, the answer is yes.
Boom! Ha, ha, ha!
Congratulations.
Oh!
We need a good King to rule us, like you, mayhaps?
- Oh, yeah! - You should do it!
Yeah, be their King.
No, man. I'm an Adventurer fo' life.
If there isn't a King to tell me not to start a riot,
I... I could start a riot, then.
No rules, baby! Start that riot!
- Riot! - Flip this table!
No one can tell me no! Aah!
Please, Finn. We need a King!
Stop the riot!
I'll become your King... to save y'all from yourselves.
We have a new King!
Hey, Finn's gonna need a Queen.
I'll do it.
Allow me to show you the grounds, Your Majesties.
Show me what we got, Gummy.
Show it to me!
Dude, I'm psyched!
Yeah.
The Goblin Birthing Pits, Your Majesties.
I'm being born!
That's pretty neat.
The Garden of Living Fountains.
- Whoo! - Awesome!
The Royal Game Archive, complete with controller hats.
Ooh!
The Royal Dragon Stables.
Oh!
Whoa.
And, finally, the royal bedroom, with king-sized bed
for the royal couple.
Could you make that a bunk bed?
Yes, my Queen.
Whisper Dan!
- I call the top! - And I call...
Wait! For you, great King, the book of royal rules.
Mm. Sounds boring.
Oh, no worries, My Liege.
I'll read it to you.
Hey, Jake. You want to stay awake and hear some rules?
All right, lay it on me, Gummy.
"Introduction, colon, the 623 royal rules were established
in Moon Year 16,
in response to Elder Gorflox's repeated request
for an organized response..."
Awaken, your highness!
No way, dude.
Your Excellency, let's go.
We have much to do.
Whoo!
This is where you may perform your daily processes, my King.
Whoa!
Look at that huge mirror!
And it's painted baby blue, boys' style!
Come, Sire.
It is time to brush your teeth
in front of the "Boys' style" mirror.
Whoo! Awesome!
Oh, no, no, no, Your Majesty!
Please! Let us brush your teeth!
Kyah! Whoa, ease up, dudes.
Finn access only.
Aah! He's a rule breaker!
Don't spank us too hard!
Spare them, Your Majesty!
Spank me instead!
Set my buttocks ablaze!
Guys, what are you talking about?
Rule one, "The King shall not brush his own teeth,"
in the book of Royal Rules I read to you last night.
Oh! Oh.
- Guys, put your hams away. Wha...
I'm not gonna spank your hams.
I'm not that kind of king.
So, then, we may brush your teeth, my Lord?
You can brush my teeth, I guess.
Yay!
Oh.
This brunch looks great. Can't wait to dig in.
Uh, I will cut that, Your Highness.
Gummy, as King, I order you to let me cut it.
I'm sorry, Sire.
The royal rules don't allow it.
I'm cutting it, Gummy!
No!
Thank you, Gummy.
Uh, a thousand pardons, my Lord.
You're not going to chew that, are you?
- Yeah. - I'm sorry, Sire.
The royal rules don't allow it.
Gummy, just let me do this.
- No one will know. - I would know.
Uh, Jake, this is nuts.
Maybe, but rules are rules.
Master, eat your food.
I chewed it thoroughly and heated it
to goblin body temperature.
- I'm not hungry, Gummy. - You look a little bit down.
Would you like me to weep for you?
No, Gummy. It's just...
- Sire! Sire!
There's trouble in Town Square! A thief!
A thief? Ha-ha-ha! Yes!
- I'll handle it! - No, sire!
The King is not allowed to fight.
He must give a speech to the thief.
That is the royal rule, My Liege.
There's the thief!
Give me them hot buns, lady!
Hey, thief!
- I got a speech for yo... - No!
The royal speaker must give the speech.
- What? - You see?
Since the dawn of time, the balance of what is right
and what is wrong has come into question...
Ha-ha-ha! I'll take this.
Yes, you can feel it slowly working, eh?
Oh, no! Aah!
I can't let this go on!
- Gimme! - Hands off, thief!
Ha! Here you go, old lady.
Oh, no! The new king!
Just as cruel as the last king.
Hi-yo-what?
Oh, King, we beg you not to slay the old lady.
Don't hurt us!
No, wait!
Don't slay me! You may keep the hot buns, Your Majesty!
I'm ready for my spanking, Mr. Xergiok part two.
We're ready for our spanking, Sire!
No! No more spankings!
- Aah! - Gummy, don't be afraid.
I'm gonna stick to the rules now, okay?
My Lord, I'm sorry, you haven't heard?
Xergiok is returning with an evil army!
Come look through the scope.
You see?
Prepare to destroy them all!
Oh!
If I defeat Xergiok as king,
I can prove to the goblins that an active king
can be a good king.
But I can't let them know until it's all over.
Stay fainted, Gummy.
Oh!
Whisper Dan, have you seen Jake?
I'm in here.
Xergiok's back with an army of earclopses.
Let's bust them up!
All right, man. How do we do this?
Hmm.
What if they figure it out?
No way, man.
I'm going to be honest with you, King Finn.
When I'm scared, I feel most safe in your lap.
Line up for your spankings, Goblins!
Oh! Too late, in my pants!
Jake, the goblins can't see me being un-kingly.
I need a disguise.
Jump in my mouth!
Yeah!
Who among you has the courage to face Xergiok?
Shut your kissing hole, Xergiok!
It's time for a beating!
I salute you, foolish warrior!
- You can be my personal slave.
Wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow!
How in the world?
Dude, no one uses earclopses in battle without earplugs.
Eat this!
Pow! Pow! Pow!
Whoa!
Ha-ha! You missed me!
Oh, great King.
With the help of a brave soldier,
you thwarted the evil Xergiok.
Huzzah!
Come on, dude. Let's get out of here.
Aw. All right.
Well, looks like they got the king they wanted, buddy.
Yup.
And we're going home to adventure.
- Mm-hmm. - High five us, dude.
- Hey, Jake? - What?
Why do the insides of you smell like vanilla?
Oh. A wizard put a curse on me.
Huh. Neat.
This party is so crazy!