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Happy birthday!
Jake? Is that you? I can't see.
- Right. That's because... - I'm blind!
Jake, I'm blind on my birthday!
No, dude, you're blindfolded.
- Oh. - Keep the blindfold on.
I've got a surprise for you.
Surprise!
Orange blindfold?
That is a surprise!
That's not the surprise. This is.
You got me a train?
Thank you, Jake!
- This isn't the gift. - Huh?
We have to take the train to get to the gift.
Oh. Almost as cool as a free train.
Eh. I'll go get the tickets.
Okay.
Hey, Mr. Conductor! It's my birthday!
Oh? Climb aboard my train, little boy.
You're my new friend.
All aboard!
This is gonna be the best birthday ever.
Hehe! I'm gonna go grab a schedule.
Whoa!
Oh, t-terribly sorry, Colonel.
Oh, oh, well, that's alright.
Just don't let it happen again.
'Sorry about that, folks.'
We are approaching Gumball Gulch now.
'The ride's gonna get a little bumpy'
'until we reach the straightaway so you might want to buckle up.'
- Found a schedule. - Great.
Now find your seatbelt.
Geez Louise.
Uh, s-sorry about that, Colonel.
B-beg your pardon.
Oh, sorry.
Uh, whoa!
Ugh! Aah!
Colonel, I am so sorry.
Hey, we're in the straightaway.
Ooh, I want to see.
I'm gonna kill you!
Aah! Aah!
Aah!
A skeleton.
Is he going to be okay, Dr. Donut?
He doesn't look good.
Hey, man, this is kind of a bad scene.
Maybe we should get off this train
and hoof it to your surprise.
Are you kidding?
It's a murder mystery on a train
- and we're gonna solve it. - Alright.
What do you think, Dr. Donut? Any clues?
Hmm, I think it was the guy who screamed
"I'm gonna kill you."
Uh, no, no, it-it-it wasn't me. I swear!
Passengers, passengers
I don't think it was Colonel Candycorn.
Oh, well, well, thank you.
No, in murder mysteries
it's never the first person you think of, never, ever.
So, who do you think it is?
Colonel, do you have any enemies on this train?
Well, uh, well, just one.
And his or her name is...
See? I knew it wasn't him.
But now we have to figure out who his enemy is.
- It could be anybody. - It could even be you.
Yes, it could, except I didn't do it.
But we don't know that.
You singled me out to take suspicion off yourself.
Are you Colonel Candycorn's enemy?
What? No. I was just trying to join in on the conversation.
Suspect numero uno!
Rat traps.
I really thought I was on to something.
Now, I know this is gonna sound crazy
but what about the conductor?
No, it's definitely not him.
Aw. Why not?
Because he's weird and creepy
and you never suspect the creepy guy
- because it's too obvious. - Whatever, man.
I'm gonna go sit and look at the schedule.
We're running out of suspects. And we're running out of time.
Attention. Attention, passengers.
Gnarly.
Yeah. Hi. It's me, the conductor. Hehe!
Anyway, I couldn't help overhearing
that someone here thinks I'm weird and creepy.
And, you know, I'm not weird and creepy.
I'm cool and awesome.
Happy birthday, Finn.
- Hey, Jake? - Yeah?
The conductor was just here
and he was weirder and creepier than before.
What? No way. He was cool and awesome.
Anyway, it's still not him.
No, the murderer is right here among us.
Isn't that right, doctor?
You think it was me?
When Candycane guy was murdered
you diverted suspicion towards Colonel Candycorn
then killed him to protect your alibi.
Are you kidding?
Dude, I think you're way off.
Am I? Or am I way on?
Son of a...
My hunches aren't getting me anywhere.
The killer is laughing at us, Jake.
What do you think we should do?
Hmm. We need hard evidence.
Ha!
A basket of eggs, fish, and cabbage.
It's a receipt from an earlier train ride
from another train.
Jake, I found a book.
It's a dictionary.
It's sheet music!
It doesn't make any sense to me.
Me neither. Maybe the murderer is just too smart for us.
Yes! Jake, that's it. It's all so clear now.
Gather everyone in the caboose and I will reveal a murderer.
You're the only remaining passengers
so the murderer is in this caboose.
Let me explain how I know who the murderer is.
I saw Pineapple Guy skim through the sheet music
'sheet music to a song'
'that's very special to Lollipop Girl'
'a song that reminds her of Ice Cream Guy.'
Before Colonel Candycorn died
Dr. Ice Cream was in possession of a basket
of cabbage, fish, and eggs.
'And you, Pineapple Guy have cabbage bits on your socks.'
And you, Chocolate Bar Guy
does this dictionary look familiar
a dictionary which happens to contain the words
"rid, "guests,"at once."
But the real murderer
is someone no one suspects.
The real murderer is...
No one was the murderer?
The conductor's still on the train.
Oh, yeah. He did it.
Yay! You did it! You solved it, Finn!
I knew it because he's creepy.
- What? - Hmph.
I know. You knew he was the murderer all along.
I couldn't have done it without you
you, you, you.
- Thank you. - We make a great team, pal.
You feel kind of bony.
Jake?
No!
Hey.
How could you murder all those candy people?
And you murdered Jake on my birthday!
Yes, and you're next.
Wrong.
Grr!
Hunh! Unh!
Mnh! No!
Ah! Unh!
I'm coming for you!
Unh! Ugh!
This is for Jake!
Hunh! Unh! Hyah!
You're going down, or both of us are going down.
My birthday wish is vengeance!
Happy birthday to me!
Wait!
Y-you're alive!
You were the conductor the whole time?
Yep, you were so busy focused on the murders
'that you never even noticed.'
The skeletons were the hardest part.
It was all an elaborate setup for your birthday present.
So nobody was murdered?
Nope, not unless you count the train's control panel.
Dude, open your eyes.
Hey, we're alive!
Wow. This is the best birthday ever.
Thanks, Jake.
You deserve it, buddy
'cause you're a great friend.
I think my favorite part
was landing on the gelatin.
That must have taken forever to plan.
Nope. That part was a total accident.
- Oh. So we could have... - Died horribly? Yes.
Happy birthday, pal!
Hey, man, it's couples-only movie night tonight.
Who are you bringing?
I don't know. Who are you bringing?
I'm bringing my girlfriend, dude.
Oh.
I'll take this duck.
It's couples night.
You got to bring somebody you can smooch.
Man, I don't wanna be smooched.
Don't have to smooch.
Just have to bring somebody you can smooch.
It's like the rules.
Lame.
Aah!
Well, I'll take this blanket.
Put the blanket down. Have a seat.
I want to explain some "things" to you about couples.
- So, you all square? - Yeah, yeah.
Who you gonna call?
I'm going to call a girl
that I don't have to kiss.
ring ring
- Hello? - Hi, Princess.
Would you go to couples movie night with me?
Sounds romantic, Finn.
No! I-I was just wondering if you wanted to go with me.
No, sorry, Finn.
I'm busy practicing for the Whistling Choir
Death Match Championship.
- But... - Auf wiedersehen.
- She doesn't want to go. - Yeah, she does.
We just need to help her to realize
she wants to go to the movies with you.
I'm calling Marceline.
- What? - Look, man.
I've been learning a lot about vampires lately.
I realize now that my fear was based on ignorance.
- Speak. - Hey, hey, Marceline.
Got a favor to ask, babe.
We want to make Princess Bubblegum jealous
so she'll go to the movies with Finn.
Marceline? Come in. Hello?
Aah!
Hehe! Are you gonna help us?
Yeah, I'll help. It'll be funny.
Okay, so, here's the plan.
You start saying things
and you start laughing way loud.
And then Bubblegum...
will get jealous of you
which will awaken her Finn love.
- You start us off. - Um... hmm. Funny.
Funny. Um... Giddyup?
Um... diggy-diggy?
Diggy-diggy! Diggy-diggy!
Greetings, Finn. Hey, Marceline.
- Hello, Bonnibel. - Yeah, yeah.
So, what's so funny, Finn?
I, um, uh...
It's, uh, something.
Well, then keep it down out there.
I'm trying to whistle practice.
That was great. Now we begin phase two.
It's so powerful. Wait here. Hehehe!
Hey, look, Finn, I know Jake's your friend and all
but if you really want Bubblegum
to go to the movies with you
you've got to, like, stop listening to your dog
and take some advice from a real girl.
But Jake said phase two is powerful.
Pbht!
How is Jake gonna know what girls want
more than a real girl?
- Yeah... - Okay, great.
So, what we need now is something... fun.
Girls love fun more than anything. Fun, fun, fun.
If you can show Bubblegum that you're fun
she'll defs want to go to the movies with you.
Haha! You said "fun" so much.
It sounds all weird now. "F-F-Fun."F..."
So, what do you like to do for fun, Finn?
Oh! Oh! I like to wrestle and fight!
Grr! Roar!
- Girls don't like that. - No, no, that's perfect.
All you got to do is get in there
and wrestle Princess Bubblegum
and show her how fun you are.
"Fun-n-n."
"Fun-n-n-n."
Whoa. Where you going, man?
Check it out.
What is that stuff?
It's a lute suit.
Girls love it. Trust me.
Finn, what the plum are you wearing?
- You look horrible. - It's a lute suit.
And Finn looks adorable in it.
Well, it's going to ruin the plan.
What's she talking about, Finn?
Well, I was gonna give Marceline's idea a try, too.
Her idea?
What's wrong with my idea?
Oh, hey, Finn. Did you ever find some...
Whoa. What are you wearing?
Oh, this is my... lute suit.
Uh...
Oh, this is my...
Finn!
That is hilarious.
Oh, you are killing me.
Psst.
Grr-rr!
Oh, yeah.
So...
Headlock! Grr!
Guards!
That suit was ridiculous.
Ridi-ridiculous? What?
Can you believe this girl, Finn? Huh? Can you?
I guess the suit did feel a little silly.
Well, fine. You can just give it back, then.
I'm sorry.
Good luck getting to that movie
without my help.
Harumph.
Gee, he seems pretty ticked.
Nah, he just needs some spaghetti.
Oh, okay.
Well, taste this, then.
- I got a new plan. - Really?
The only thing women love more than fun is excitement.
She needs to feel her blood pump, man.
She needs to be chased by wolves.
Like, metaphorically?
Come on, I'll teach you how to show a girl a good time.
Hold tight. You ready?
Uh... mm-hmm.
Shh. She's probably asleep.
This was a really good idea.
Now don't blow it this time.
- Okay. - Aah!
Oh, Finn, thank goodness you're here!
There's wolves in my room!
Yeah, I know. I put them there.
Pretty exciting, right? Hehe!
I'm sorry to do this, Finn
but until you stop acting like a psycho
you are forbidden from entering The Candy Kingdom.
Farewell.
I don't understand, Marceline. I tried everything.
I guess she just doesn't like me.
Shh. Come on, Finn.
A brainlord like Bonnie?
You'd be bored with her in a week.
And anyway, I, for one, think you're pretty great.
I'm sorry it didn't work out like you wanted.
I'll see you later, I guess.
Marceline.
Of course! It's been Marceline all along.
Hey, man, I've been looking for you.
Sorry for acting like a dweeb before.
- Want some leftover spaghetti? - Ah, no, thanks, man.
- But I really need your help. - 'Bout time!
Uh-oh.
Marceline!
Will you go to the movies with me?
We need to talk.
Finn, you do not want to go down that road with me.
With you, I would walk down any road, milady
especially if it leads to the movies.
Oh, yeah? No one would want to go to the movie with this!
What do you think of me now?
- How do you like your popcorn? - Ugh!
You're starting to annoy me.
Well, then let's do something fun
like to go the movies!
Get off me.
- Finn, I like you, but... - Headlock!
No! Listen to me.
I'm not gonna go to the movies with you.
I just don't like you that way.
I'm sorry, Finn. I just...
- I don't want to date you. - Date me?
Man, I just want to go to the movies
but everybody hates me.
Wait, you don't want me to be your girlfriend?
Huh? No! Movies!
If you weren't looking for a girlfriend
then why were you romancing it up all day?
'cause Jake said couples nights have
weird kissing requirements and romance-initiation rituals
- and whatever else. - I didn't really say all that...
Of course I'll go with you, Finn.
- You will? - Yeah, as friends.
- Of course as friends. - But no tongue.
Ye... what?
Oh, man, I can't believe
I'm finally going to see this movie.
Oh, mon cher, I guess this is goodbye.
'No, not goodbye.'
'Let's say... farewell!'
Ugh!
Couples night sucks!
Marceline, would you do me the honor
of getting the plop out of here?
There's nothing I'd like more.
- Aah! - Haha!
Nothing can ever tear us apart.
Yeah!