Tickle, tickle, tickle! Wakey, wakey, wake!
Yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo
yoo!
Ahhh!
Wow. That was really something.
Really something. Sure, I'll hold.
Thank you for your time. Hello?
I'd like to take a few minutes of your time to tell you about
an amazing vitamin supplement. But first, just let me ask you,
do you ever feel that no matter what you eat, you're still tired
and sluggish and filled with nagging anxiety and doubt
and —
Root beer guy, get your head back in the game!
Hello, ma'am. I'd like to take a few minutes
of your time —
Hello? What we need is to cut out
the middle man. Hey, root beer guy.
Hey. Dude, we should start our own
place.
Next stop, lollipop park estates.
This is good.
What is this? Candy.
Hmm.
Oh, I've got a closing argument tomorrow,
root beer guy.
"I knew there was trouble.
I could smell it on the hot evening breeze.
Fortunately for me, trouble is my favorite thing because I'm
Joe milkshake. I kicked down the door with one
swift, decisive motion." No.
"With one swift and decisive motion, I kicked down the door."
No. "The door was kicked down by me
swiftly with not many motions but a whole lot of decisiveness
was used by me that was apparent to everybody."
Ugh.
Aaaaaaaaaah! Hmm.
What are you doing?
Let me go! No!
Yeah! [Imitates engine
sputtering, revving] Hey. Hey, are you awake?
Not really. Well, this is gonna sound
crazy, but I think I saw princess bubblegum get
kidnapped, and the perpetrators were that finn and Jake.
Okay, sweetie. That sounds like an interesting
dream.
But it did happen.
[Snoring, snorts] You need to eat something
before you go to work, and you can't keep falling asleep at
your typewriter. It's bad for your back.
Besides, I miss you at night. I'm sorry, sweetie.
I couldn't stop thinking about that weird stuff I saw last
night when I was peeking through the bushes.
Ugh! Peeking through the bushes?
You've been warping your mind with all this mystery stuff.
I swear, sometimes I think you love that novel of yours more
than you love me. You've been working on it every
night for 10 years, and for what?
Look at me, root beer guy! I'm a cherry cream soda, and I
have the same needs as any other cherry cream soda or even
diet cream soda! I didn't know
what to say, but Joe milkshake never was a talky guy.
On my way to work that morning, I decided to take a second look
at the crime scene. Hmm.
Lake butterscotch? Hmm.
Root beer guy! Root beer guy! Root beer guy!
How many bottles of product you sell this month?
Zero. Great! We can count to zero!
You know, maybe if you'd give me the new leads...
You haven't earned the new leads.
It's easy to do when you have
all the leads. Exactly.
Hey, root beer guy. It's all about the leads.
See? I told you! It's candy stucco.
Stucco feels great. Hmm.
When you're right, you're right. All right, you two.
What were you doing last night with princess bubblegum?
Uh... Hmm...
We were home last night. Yeah.
We were doing that... Thing. That was a great thing
we were doing at home with no other witnesses.
But we're each other's witnesses.
Yeah! But I saw you.
Look, man, you didn't see nothin'.
Hmph!
Mr. banana guard, you've got to
arrest those guys! Come on!
These are the guys! They're kidnappers!
You have to arrest them and find out where they're hiding
princess bubblegum. Princess bubblegum?
She's right around the corner! Oh, princess bubblegum!
[High-pitched voice] Yes? I think some
banana guards wish to speak with you.
[High-pitched voice] Where are those banana guards?
Your highness! Greetings, your majesty!
Your skin is looking lovely today.
Oh, thanks! It's really, really orange!
Ugh! I've been using this
new, uh, marmalade spray-on tan. Yeah. Cinnamon bun...
Bingo-bango. This was my lucky break.
With one decisive motion, I kicked down the door.
So, uh, being tan is my thing now.
Quickly, I scanned the room for the —
oh, man.
"Caramel court," "cotton candy Crescent."
"Lollipop park estates" — bingo-bang—
aha! Huh?
Bingo-bango.
Bonsoir, monsieur.
Would you like me to turn down the bed?
Uh, look what I've got. The security tape will show that
finn and Jake kidnapped princess bubblegum.
Finn and Jake would never do that!
Oh, yeah? Prepare to have your mind blown,
after I put this tape in the vcr, just to make sure I got the
right one. I'm pretty sure I did!
Hey, yes! This is it!
Aaaaaaaaaah! Bingo-bango!
I've got to get to the — are you in the tub, sweetie?
I'm going out! I've got to get this tape to the
banana guards or the newspaper or maybe the d.A. Or something.
Hey, root beer guy.
You were not supposed to view this tape.
But — but how did you guys know?
I told them. That's right.
I did it for us! Oh, this thing is eating you
alive, root beer guy! But it's all I've got.
Hey, this looks kind of
personal.
Hmph.
Mr. pudding — well, you can just call me
"buck." Uh, buck, those —
no need to be formal here, son.
Those guys who were just in here — can you tell me what
they bought? Well, let's see — a shovel,
a saw, some plastic bags, some duct tape, a bludgeon, a mop,
rubber gloves. Say, Mr. — buck, do you know
anything about this lake butterscotch?
Right nice spot, lake butterscotch — Miles from
where anyone could hear a person scream, if a person were
screaming for some reason. Creepy now that I think about
it. Nothing up there these days but
some abandoned cabins. Nice place to hide a body if you
were into that sort of thing. Son, now, what are you doing in
my pickup truck?
Yeah?
Don't hang up! I'm root beer guy.
I'm the guy who kidnapped princess bubblegum.
Yeah, yeah. I wrapped her in a carpet —
yeah — and I'm gonna dump her in lake butterscotch!
I'm completely insane!
But you still have time to stop me.
Get up to lake butterscotch right now, banana guard.
And I took a boat out after
8:00. Emergency!
Quickly, to lake butterscotch! Wee-ooo! Wee—
Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!
Ugh!
Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!
Use the licorice lace lasso! [Whip!]
Whoa! Oh, my word! Get those guys!
They're my accomplices! Oh. Okay.
I got it! [Whip!]
Busted, you boat crimer.
It's... Finn and Jake?
Well, guys... It looks like you caught us.
Okay, princess. You can come out now.
[Breathing loudly]
Princess! Mm-dah!
Oh, yeah. It is the princess.
Congratulations!
Whee! Whee! You were so good at solving the
case. Um, what case?
The fake kidnapping.
To test the candy kingdom's security system?
We didn't solve that case. But if you weren't
following the clues I left, who was?
Um... It's root beer guy. Then why the
jumping Jay is he in handcuffs? Uh, he went boating.
That was a great night, baby. We haven't danced like that
in years. I'm so proud of you,
Mr. captain of the banana guards.
Cinnamon bun!
What the heck are you doing out in the woods?
I asked you 20 minutes ago to take these drinks around for us.
Oh. Oh! "Around for us"!
I thought you said "walk to the zoo and back."
Gah!
Finn, cinnamon bun's gonna tend the
juice bar now. I have a special job for you.
As ooo's greatest champion, I'm relying on you to keep
lumpy space princess from crashing this wedding.
I went ahead and deputized you, so, you know, no holds barred.
Got it? Yeah!
Oh. But what about Jake? Well, honestly, I
haven't seen Jake this happy in a while.
I kind of don't want to squash
his groove. Hands off, little
piggies! Knock knock!
Hey, tree trunks! Oh, hey, princess.
Wow! You look prettier than a
sippy cup in a snow bank.
Thanks, tree trunks. Now listen — I don't want you
to worry about a thing. I've got finn on lsp duty, and
we're keeping your ex-husbands, Randy, Danny, and Wyatt,
100 feet apart at all times, at least until it's time for me
to perform the ceremony. Oh, well, uh, princess —
— I appreciate your generosity,
going to all this trouble to hijack my wedding and all, but
you can't perform the ceremony. What?
Why not? Well, I'm sorry, but I just
don't recognize your "authority" on such matters.
I can only be married by his holiness, the one true
king of ooo. What?
That fraud? Now, I know his teachings—
That fraud is here?
Uh, why, yes, but —
Oh, dear. Mama, I'm afraid I've offended
the princess. Oh, nonsense, baby.
She's probably just jealous 'cause you're about to marry
such a handsome, fine, saucy man!
Oh, but he is a saucy fine bolog-nah factory!
Mm-hmm! I'll tell you what.
I'd like to open up that hood,
see how the bolog-nah gets made! Mm!
Mama, please! Please don't call him a
saucy, fine bolog-nah factory! Bolog-nah factory!
Oh! My perfect day!
What else could go wrong? Please go on — describe the
next "thought-form." Um... I see, like,
reddish-green blotches. Ah! Ha ha ha!
One year good luck.
I've waited a long time for this, king of ooo.
And now I'm gonna expose you in front of everyone for what you
really are. Yay!
H-hey, barkeep, can I have another one of these ciders?
Sure!
Hey, little robot, how you doing?
I am the best! I love weddings, I love flowers,
I love l-o-o-o-o-o-o-ove! Hey, did you know I used to
be married to tree trunks? N-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Heh, yeah. It was just me and t.T.
We had some wild times back in the day.
Did you know I once took her to play tennis?
N-o-o-o-o! Yep. Tennis.
I took her to one of those, uh... Paddles or whatever, you
know? No.
Yeah, she left me. She said I was stifling her
spirit. I mean —
You know, what — not enough tennis for you?
No...
It's starting! The ceremony is starting!
Oh, no!
I'm missing the love! No!
Uh... Please, stay here. This is cathartic.
You're a good listener. Oh.
Okay. Sweetie, you look so nice.
Shh. Sounds really sweet.
Lumpy space princess?
Is that you? Let me go to this part-y-y-y!
Aah! It's not your party, lsp.
Poor finn. Don't you know?
Every party... Is my party!
I'm just gonna look in this guy's blimp, make
sure everything's in accordance...
With the laws.
Psst! Sweetie, what're you doing?
Hmm?
Get out of my way, finn! Oh, my glob!
You're touching my woman's body! Okay, dear.
Now up you come. Don't hurry this.
Here we go. Whoa, whoa, kids!
Got to finish the ceremony first.
Keep the baby in the basket. Everyone at the party get
ready 'cause here comes a hot bunch of grapes!
Aaaaaaaaah!
Oh, my glob! We've gathered here on this
beautiful day, under my life-giving sun, to celebrate
the enjointment of Mr. pig and tree trunks the little elephant.
These two weird animals first... Oh, I bet some cute weddings
are happening over there.
Bmo, you're so nice. Those flowers look really
cool. Oh, I've had a hard life.
People seem cute. They seem nice.
But then when you can't stop crying because they beat you at
tennis that one time, they call you a baby!
Yeah, cute nice babies. Bmo?
Mm-hmm? Bmo, would you move in
with me?
Do you, Mr. pig, take
tree trunks to be your ever-wedded wife, forever
following the teachings of me, the true king of ooo?
I do.
And do you, tree trunks...
Do you promise to love Mr. pig forever and spend the next five
years with me in my serenity compound, performing simple
household repairs, to have and to hold, in sickness and in
health, in my gated Mountain compound?
I... Everybody get ready...
To pay attention to me! I-I-I-I-I-I...
I-I-I-I-I-I d— oh!
Ev-everybody! Hey! I'm here!
Look at my booq — unh!
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
[Pop!] Ahh!
My zep! Everybody, this
wedding is a farce! A criminal farce!
Hey, just what are you egging at here?
I'll tell you what I'm egging at.
I'm egging at this outdated wedding-officiant license!
Oh! Oh, is that what this is
about? You must've found that in my
back records. I have the up-to-date paperwork
right here. Oh!
What? Uh...
Hey, wait. How did you get that?
I could've swore it was locked in my zep.
Nope! Shh! Nope, nope, nope!
Stop talking! Go to jail! Oh!
Yeah. Princess bubblegum, you have
gone too far. We stand together against your
tyranny. Hey, everybody.
Your prison may hold one of us, but it may not hold all
of us. Oh, poor tree trunks.
Wait. Where's my mama? Has anyone see my —
oh! No, mama!
Well, I guess this is it, sweetie.
Oh. Oh, no.
The elephant graveyard is calling to me now.
Okay, hold your horses. I'm comin'.
Wait, tree trunks! Look around!
Everyone we care about is all here together.
Finn, Uncle Donald, banana guard #1, Jake, Jake Jr.,
everybody! We could have the ceremony right
here. Hey, yeah!
King of ooo, will you do the honors?
Are you crazy?
That loopy bird is gonna string me up sideways!
You can perform your own dang ceremony!
Kingofooo.Com! Oh. Oh, dear.
Oh, my gosh. Tree trunks, did you hear?
Huh? The king said you could
perform your own dang ceremony. Yeah, that really stung.
But... But... The king's word is law.
I can perform my own dang
ceremony? Are you up to it, t.T.?
I'll try. I guess it's time.
A-are you ready? Oh, okay. Um, uh...
Do you, Mr. pig, take me, tree trunks, to be your
beautiful wedded wife? I do.
And do I, Mr. pig, take him to be your lawful wedded
husband, tree trunks? I do.
Then, you... You may kiss the bride.
Mwah! Oh, geez.
Let 'em all go, banana guard #3. Uh... What?
I just can't stay mad at something so cute.
Did she just say "let everyone go"?
Looks like we've got the
whole place to ourselves, if you know what I'm saying.
Wait. D-don't you think there might be cameras down here?
I hope so.