Bro!
Aah!
Boom!
Thanks, bro! There for you, bro!
But, finn, I'm gonna tell you something gently...
Okay. What is it, bro?
Get a new sword. What do you mean?
Bro, these guys could have hurt you.
It still works. Yut.
Bro? I love this sword.
It'll be okay. Let's go shopping!
Candles. Candles. Candles for all occasions.
Hey, there's
choose goose! Goose!
Come on!
Finn, what's wrong? Mm, maybe we should try
someone else. What?
But we have a history with him. That's important in business.
Yeah, but we're looking for a sword.
Remember that armor he sold us?
Oooh, yeah, okay.
I asked around. This is the place to get
sa-words. Oh?
Doesn't look like it's open...
Open!
Close the curtains behind you, please.
Walk towards the candle. How can I help you?
Need a sword. Hold on...
Here you go! A grass sword!
It's a bargain. I don't know.
I've never used a grass sword before.
Maybe we should keep looking. Swords like this don't come
around every day. Don't come around every
day, huh? [SHIMMER!]
I love it! Well, that was easy.
Remember, no take-backs. Hey, the pillow vendor!
Uh? Hyah!
Huh? Pizza?
Yeah! It came out of nowhere!
It was gonna bonk you on the head.
You're getting good with that sword.
You were never able to do that with your other swords.
No more pizza bonks. [SHING!]
Yut! Hey, we're near tree trunks'
house. Let's stop by and get some
pie-e-e. Pie-e-e.
Yut! Yut! Hyah!
Howdy, boys. Nice pillow and nice sword.
My hands are full, finn. Uh, you mind slicing an apple
for me? Yut!
Something is terribly wrong
with that awful sword. He's getting really
good. He saved me from pizza.
That apple slicing is too perfect...
Demonically perfect... That sword is cursed!
I like it when
tree trunks gets all serious.
Uh, how's that curse doin'?
Makin' you want to moidle me?
Naw, man. This sword doesn't seem to have
any curse on it as far as I can tell.
Hyah! Well, okay.
Rrk... Grk... Dang tag.
I got it! Hmm?
Whoa. Hey, quit showin' off,
bro. Sorry, man.
I don't know what happened. I...
I'll go put this away. Good idea.
Hmm.
Aah!
Huh?
What the?
Hnngg! Gah!
Ah, geez...
Stupid... Thing! Worst three bucks I ever spent.
Phew!
[HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM] What's goin' on?
The sword is after my flesh!
Huh? Oh, snap.
Don't let it get me, Jake!
Don't worry. I'll handle this.
[SHING!] There.
Let's go return that junk.
Huh. Hey, he's not here.
Hmm. Maybe somebody around here knows
where he is. Help! Help!
Somebody in trouble! Help!
They're taking our candles! It's the hooligans who
love candles! Let's get 'em!
Hey! Huh?
Yo! You got a prob, Bob?
Stealing candles from old ladies is immoral!
Anarchy! School! Hyah!
Hugh! Ahh! Stop chasing u-u-us!
Aaaah!
Happy Birthday! Oof!
You're dead, Teddy boy...
No... Lo-o-o-o-ser-r!
Aaaah! You saved our shop!
Thank you so much, you brave young man.
And don't even worry about the damages.
We'll just use the broken pieces to build a life-size
candle in your likeness. Oh, and we'll put it right by
the entrance, and it'll be our mascot — the candle man!
Dude!
Yeah. Not coming off. Don't give up, man.
Hey, maybe choose goose knows where the old man went.
Hey, choogles, we need your help!
We got to find the dude who sold us this cursed sword.
Do you know who he is? I know you did business with
some rando guy! Help you backstabbers — why
should I? What?
Come on, choogie, it was only one time.
Hmph.
I made a mistake, c.G.
This merch is totally defective. Please...
Okay dokay. I know that quack with the
grassy shack. He's a wizard from the grassy
plains. He lives atop the grassy
moun... Tayn. Awesome — wizard of
grassy moun-tayn. Mountain.
Yeah, thanks, choogs! Yeah, thanks!
He's the only one who can lift the curse!
But beware! He's a huge dingwad!
Just the worst!
Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop!
Aaaaaah!
Hmm. For a cursed dingus, you cut so good.
Come forth, wizard, and uncurse my mitt!
Grassy Mountain wizard! Coming up here!
Trying to enter my house? Are you for real!
Mow him down, my cursed grassy objects!
Hyah!
Uh! Go forth! Go, uh, forth!
That was all my grassy objects. Aaah!
Ooh! Lift the curse!
Never!
You have no power over me, young fool.
The grass sword will be part of you for all eternity!
Hmm.
You know what? I think I'm cool with that.
What? Whoa.
Now that you've accepted it, you can control it!
Yeah, this is really cool.
I just had to get used to it. That's not how people are
supposed to react to an eternal curse!
Whatevs.
Do it again!
Good morning, princess! Aah!
Finn, you scared me! I am sorry, princess!
What are you doing here, finn?
Since I got out of my last relationship, I've been
slacking on the job. So I'm rededicating my life to
protecting, serving, and meeting your every need.
Jake said I was acting bananas about the whole thing and wanted
no part of this. It's 5:30 in the
morning. That's right, princess.
I'm getting back on the job hard-core, giving 100% of my
being all for you. Thank you.
That's very nice. No need to thank me,
pb. It's my job.
Heh. Thank you.
How am I doing at my job, princess?
Am I crushing it? Yes, but can you
move just a bit? No, no, like... Out of the way.
Oh! Okay, what else do
I need? Aw, dang it.
I forgot we're out of milk. Now I have to go get it fr—
B-b-b-b-buh! I got it!
Hyah!
Milk. You wanted milk.
Finn, I thought you went home.
Yes. I do regret the slow return.
But I assure you, this is the highest quality milk available.
It's mink's milk.
I milked a mink. 100% dedication.
No limits to what I'd do for you.
I'd throw peppermint Butler off this balcony if you asked.
Sorry, peppermint Butler. Just joking, but kind of sort of
not. You're really
going over the top here. Take it easy. Princess' orders.
Okay, I'll just rest here.
No, no. Resting on the job is not
resting. Go somewhere where you can
relax. Yes, princess.
Hyah!
♪ princess, I give ma life to
you, girl ♪ ♪ you are the best dang princess
in the whole wi-world ♪ hup! Hup! Hup!
Hmm. Wow, pb.
Sure is a nice day to be outside.
Hey, watch what you say about pb, bro!
Talk garbage about pb one more time, bro — see what happens!
Hold on one sec, pb. I got to deal with a real tough
guy over here. [SHING!]
You got one last chance to apologize before I dishonor you
like you did m'lady. All right, bro, have it your
way. Hyah!
Where's your pants, bro? Where's your honor now?
Everyone's laughing at your undies.
It's real uncomfortable. What's up?
Heh. Whoa!
Wowzers! No!
Did you drop this car on m'lady, bro?
Leave this dump now.
You dropped a car on m'lady, bro.
Now I got to restore her honor. Hope you're wearing underwear.
[SHING!] Huh?
Uh! [SHING!]
Whoa. Dude's got awesome powers.
Hey, dude, you got awesome powers!
[SHING!] Ra-a-a-a-a-a-a-h!
You gonna kill me, bro?
No... Instead I will pluck out your
eyes with the point of my sword and whenever you try to see
stuff, you will think only of me...
Rattleballs! Aaaah!
Do it! I ain't a baby! Do it, bro-o-o-o!
You have a warrior's spirit...
Something I haven't seen in
a long time. But your swordsmanship is pbht!
You should learn to master your weapon before you draw it.
What? You're just gonna tell me I'm
terrible and walk away? Teach me sword stuff, man!
I know you're back there.
I brought you a muffin. I don't eat muffins.
I'm a robot.
Look, I know you don't know me and we got off on the
wrong foot, but please, dude, teach me how to use the sword.
Ple-e-e-ase.
You okay? No.
When I was a young robot, I went horseback riding...
No one taught me how to post. The horse took a crazy jump, and
I came down on the saddle hard. One of my gumballs bounced up
inside me... It's been lodged in a weird spot
for years. Oh. Here...
Errr! Eh...
More to the left... Getting closer...
Closer! Hoh!
You got it!
Thank you! Yeah.
Perhaps you feel a sense of indebted obligation to me?
Yes, I will teach you the sword stuff.
Lesson one — block my eggs. Yut.
Ha! Got one!
Egg-cellent!
Whoa! Ooh!
[SHING!] Ooh! Ooh!
Yeah! That's right. I can take it.
Yeaaaah!
You have done well today. You've felt the sting of the
yolk, endured the sizzle of the mini bbq.
Perhaps you are ready to learn my secret technique.
Secret technique! Watch.
[SHING!] What the?
The shadowless thrust. Your blade must be swift enough
to slice the air between you and the target, removing all wind
resistance. Now you try.
Fshh! Fshh! Again.
So, am I a master swordsman now?
You will be, if you train this hard every day...
For 10 years... And get a robot body.
Oh. So, uh, why you livin' in this
dump? You should be out in the world
savin' fancy ladies and junk. That, my friend, is a long
tale... Which I will tell you now.
It was a much Wilder time in the candy kingdom.
I was a member of an elite robot police force created by
princess bubblegum. Her previous attempts at law
enforcement had been a bunch of goofs.
Stop him! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Our righteous swords cut a swath through the chaos.
But we were too successful. Unfortunately, we were still
programmed for violence.
Oh! One, two, one,
two, one, two, one, two. Okay, robots, all the number
ones go stand on that platform over there.
And all the number twos just turn around and face the wall.
And no peeking. We were programmed to follow
her commands 100%. But through sheer force of
will... Nnnnnng!
I was able to overcome it. We had been judged too dangerous
to stay operational and sentenced to death.
Number twos, chop, chop.
I alone escaped... While my compatriots became
minimalist furniture. Ah, sorry.
I've lived as a fugitive in this junkyard ever since.
That is why you must never tell princess bubblegum about me.
If she ever found out... She would have me destroyed.
Rattleballs is still what?
He asked me not to tell you, but I could not break my
oath to serve you m'lady, 100%. Captain root beer
guy, assemble my guard.
Hello, princess.
Sorry, ree-b-z. My oath to the princess comes
first. But once you two talk it out, I
know she'll see you mean no harm.
Banana guards, destroy!
So be it. Wait!
Cha-a-a-a-rge! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!
Ugh! Cha-a-a-a-a-r—
Rattleballs!
[SHING!] R.B., don't!
You think I'm dangerous, princess?
Dang right I do! You killed all my banana guards!
No, princess, look! They're only bruised.
Hey, you hit me.
I no longer crave mindless violence.
I have found peace in meditation, gardening...
Egg throwing. I hope time has also made you
less bloodthirsty, princess. But do with me as you will.
In my heart, I still serve you...
100%.
Bigger pimples mean bigger dimples, so mash up your
mush... Ahem...
with pidimple cream. Okay, everybody.
I took care of rattleballs. Ooh, wow. Cool.
Show's back on.
Everything's settled.
I don't have to go back on my order, and you can protect the
kingdom from the shadows. Thank you, princess.
That's marginally better than hiding in a dump.
Wait.
Hmm? I dub thee...
Sir rattleballs!