Ugh. I'm covered in newbs.
Hey! How have you been?
I've got hunger cranks.
Hmm? Oh, yes.
That's very interesting.
- Kim Kil Whan. - Hmm.
Rawr!
Mom, when are we gonna eat? I'm going nuts!
Watch your mouth!
Seriously, Mom, Dad's already three hours late with the food!
You hush, Junior.
You know Dad's a wonderful cook.
Viola, when's the last time you even heard from Dad?
Oh, you know. Dad is... distractible.
"Distractible!"
Yeah, I love Dad and everything, but he's only ever met me twice.
Charlie, Viola, T.V., Jake Jr., Kim Kil Whan...
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo! Whoo-hoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
We're real late!
Happy birthday, puppies!
OK, so, putting it out there,
I didn't remember to bring you guys any birthday presents,
but I did bring lunch!
It's macaroni salad.
Dad, you're beautiful!
Dad!
We have new business to discuss.
Happy birthday, Kim Kil Whan!
Birthdays are old business.
Whoa, neat.
Um, well, how are things going, son?
"Things"? "Things" have switched hands.
I get it.
Dad, when I say that things have switched hands,
I mean to say that things you have previously claimed ownership of
have transferred from your hands to my hands, in that...
I bought your tree house.
- What? - What? The deed to your tree house.
How? Acquired through legal trade.
From whom? The deed's previous owner,
Marceline the Vampire Queen...
in exchange for one lunatic bass.
When? Effective immediately.
But, son, why?
We will convene at the property.
Sorry I'm late. OK.
So, as the deed holder of this tree house, I am now your landlord.
The first thing I'm going to have to do is assess your treasure room.
But, son, I'm your pop.
What would your mother say, doing this to your poor pip-pop!
I'm sorry, Dad. Deeds don't bleed.
OK, son, get ready to be glitter-stunned by all this treasu—
Oh, yeah. We spent all of it.
All we have left are these vintage photos I got at the flea market.
They're interesting!
Woof.
All right, so, I guess this is the apartment
the two of you can afford.
- It's a ladder.
Yeah? Yeah.
Send them on over.
Sorry about that.
Anyway, as you can see,
this beauty offers direct first and second floor access,
superb craftsmanship, and et cetera.
I... suppose you're familiar.
Yes, Finn?
Yeah, uh, when do we get our house back?
- What?
Excuse me.
Good afternoon. Yes, right this way.
I've got 37 available units to show in this building,
so we're gonna want to get right to it. Please, step inside.
There we go. Is that everyone? Good, good.
Please make your way upstairs, and we'll begin the tour.
And, you two, go ahead and make yourselves at home.
Rent's due on the 1st. No overnight guests.
Oh, and flush once after you boom-boom but before you start using the TP,
and then once more in the middle of using the TP
if you're going to use a lot.
It's... easier on the pipes.
OK, call me if you need me.
Hey, Finn, I'm real sorry about this.
Somehow, I feel like it's kind of my fault.
Nah, man. It's really not so bad.
Let's just sleep on it tonight.
You're gonna sleep like that?
Yeah, man. It's tough. I'm a tough kid.
I promise I'll work this thi—
Gee, but it's great to be back home.
Ugh!
Oh, oh, holy cow.
Oh! Oh, boy, please hurry.
Yes, he's inside my apartment right now.
Oh, I'm so scared.
Hey, buddy, you OK?
Glob, now there's two of 'em!
I just feel like if we're patient,
this whole thing will work itself out before you know it.
See, man? Help is on the way.
Man, can I tell you something?
I don't even know what's going on here.
I mean, like, what the heck is a deed?
How come he can buy our house when it's our house
and Marceline gave it to us and we live there?
And now we're arrested? This is crazy!
It's crazy!
Man, don't you know?
The laws ain't made to help earthy cats like us.
- They're not? - Nah, man. Listen.
Here on our planet, back in the old days,
back in the real old days,
it was just every man for hisself,
scrooblin' and scrat-scroblin' for the good stuff,
the greenest valleys, and scrat-scroblin'.
And the strongest, meanest men got the best stuff.
They got the green valleys and were like,
"The rest of you, y'all scrats get sand."
And that's when they made the laws, you see.
Once the strong guys got it how they liked it,
they said, "This is fair now. This is the law."
Once they were winning, they changed the rules up.
Whoa, just like Kim Kil Whan.
Hey, good news, fellas.
Your bail's paid. You're free to go.
That's awesome!
Yeah! Awesome!
Yeah, real "awesome."
Hey, Kim Kil Whan!
Aw, buddy, I knew you'd come around.
Fathers and sons, man.
That's that real thick chowder.
- What's this? - This is a bill for the bail I just paid.
Ooh.
You're really in it deep here, Dad.
It's time for you to get real.
Get a job. No more games.
Come on, son, just let me do the...
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Man, where did I go wrong?
I don't know, but I'm not trying to be sleeping on a ladder anymore,
so let's just get a bunch of scroot together
and buy our house back.
Then you two can hash it out later.
Yeah, you're right.
So, wanna rob a bank or something?
Well, actually, I was thinking maybe Kim Kil Whan was right.
Maybe we should get jobs or something.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Oh, no, wait!
I just remembered I buried a ton of gold in the front yard!
Yes!
Oh, yes, yes, absolutely.
Small pets are allowed with an additional deposit.
- Excellent.
Oh! Watch it!
Excuse me.
Almost got it.
Hey, son. I'm glad you're here.
Bad news, you scrat! We're buying our house back!
Oh, yeah? With what?
- With this! - Yeah!
Oh, I see.
With the gold you dug out of my lawn, which is therefore mine.
Now, since I have a job, I must be going.
Ciao.
And fill in that hole.
I'm gonna be frank here.
Your son's a real-time jingle-blaster.
I know, I know.
Kim Kil Whan's a real out-loud flim-flammer, and that's OK, I guess,
but why, why, would he do this to his pip-plop-plop?
Oh, wait. You know, like, maybe he's got a secret problem he can't tell us about,
like, like with mob goons.
Maybe he got caught up in a Ponzi scheme.
Ooh, that's it! You're right!
If we help him out of his secret jam, he won't need our money anymore.
Look, there he goes now.
Come on, let's follow him to the mob goons!
You sure this is right, Jake? I've never seen this place before.
Looks like a fairy tale.
Yeah, man, the nose knows.
I smelled him go in there, and then I smelled him go up there.
Whoa!
Kim Kil Whan is rich, like wow, like, hello, what?
But if he doesn't need our money, what does he need?
Throw pebbles at the glass to get his attention.
Hey, son!
Dad? What are you doing here?
Shouldn't you be at work?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
- I never even looked for a job. - Really?
I was thinking about you buying our tree house.
I figured out that you don't need our money,
so maybe you'd consider my counteroffer...
Father love!
I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you.
Come on, open it!
It's an ocarina.
- I made it for you. - Oh.
Whenever you play it,
you'll be reminded of your pep-pant's love.
Thanks, Dad.
Yeah, it's not hollow.
I made the holes with the back end of a pencil.
I suppose I could accept the ocarina as legal trade.
The tree house is yours, Dad.
OK.
Take care, Dad. I'll call.
I'll call!
OK, bye, Dad.
Later, son!
Yeah! Yeah, all right! Daddin'!
Sweetheart, how did it go?
Eh, all right, I guess.
I don't know.
He still lives the life of a child.
I mean, it's his choice,
but I really thought if he got a job and moved out of that tree house,
it could have put some fire under him.
Aw, I'm sorry, sweets.
No, I think I was wrong about Dad.
I think he's good.
Road trip!
Check out this sweet make-out wagon!
Life-Giving Magus, bro!
- Yo, yo, yo. - Yo, yo.
Ron James, bro!
- Whazzup! - Not much, not much.
Finn's old hat, bro!
- Uh, name's "Little Dude." - Sure, sure.
Hey, uh...
- It's Beau. - Beau, bro, right!
Leaf Man bro!
And, uh...
Who's this guy?
I don't know. We just picked him up.
That's the kind of trip this is gonna be.
It's a "destiny will guide us" kind of thing.
How 'bout we call you... Giuseppe.
That's right, Giuseppe.
OK, Ron James, it's time.
A'ight, listen up, brahs. Here's the plan.
Oooh.
We're heading for Big Butt Rock.
At sundown, we'll gather on the Cheek's Peak,
and using the ah-has, deep feels,
and woo-woos we score from the journey,
we will chant a totally original spell,
thus forming an entirely new school of magic!
Kind of like those jerky secret societies, but less jerky.
Just got one more stop.
Finn and Jake's crib?
They won't come. They're out of our league.
Hey, Abracadaniel's here, with a bus full of lame wizards.
Here we go.
They're probably gonna try to lure us on some dumb trip.
Hey, water nymphs!
Uh... Hi.
Uh... Do you girls feel like, uh... going on a road trip?
Um... No, thanks.
OK, but what if I...
- Ew.
Hey, ladies!
Hello.
Whoa, do you guys know this person?
No, but his eyes are just... gorge.
Oh.
Here we go!
Whoo!
Uh, why'd we stop?
I think we ran out of gas.
And the wheels fell off!
Well, this ain't going the way we planned,
but fate has decreed that this place is just what we need.
Draw your inspiration from this muddy, old cow pasture.
Here, bros. We got a full stock of TP and magic ink.
Let's all write down arcane, cryptic words
in unexpected new combinations and patterns.
Maybe the nymphs can dance on top of the bus
to be, like, our muses.
Inspire us, water nymphs!
We don't want to. We'd rather write.
I'll dance if dancing is needed.
Hey, check it out, y'all. The dirty old stranger's writing, too.
What's all the ruckus?
I own this pasture,
so get back in your vehicle and get!
We can't! Our wheels fell off!
Back on the vehicle.
I'll make a slick ice road.
Are you gone? I can't really see!
Oh!
ls there a problem?
I ran out of juice.
Can I take over?
Yeah, maybe you should.
Hey, let's switch headgear.
Ooh, it fits!
Yeah, girl, let the ice magic flow.
- Oh, but be careful, OK? - What?
Oh! Not me.
- Nice ice road. - Thanks.
Hey, I don't think we're moving.
Uh, hold on.
Everyone, time to push the bus!
Eh, I don't really want to.
Come on! Destiny!
OK, back on the bus! Back on the bus!
Huh? Ooh, a crabapple tree.
Giuseppe, make yourself useful and grab us some of them crabapples.
Get ready. Jump!
Oh, no! Giuseppe can't catch up!
What? Magus of Life Giving, take the wheel!
Uh, OK, but I am not a confident driver.
- You're doing great, buddy. - Don't touch me!
Giuseppe, throw the crabapples!
Giuseppe?
We have lost Giuseppe.
Mm! Hmm?
Well, let's see what old Giuseppe wrote.
Listen to this, everybody!
"These are not my tear drops, daughter dear,
but just a sheen of dew that lingers here,
past other fields where other fathers lie
who kept their daughters better far than I."
What do you guys think?
What's wrong with you guys?
Looks who's talking.
Huh?
This is true art.
Well, let's see what you other guys wrote.
Little Dude, here's yours.
"Days don't have shades.
Directions with no ways.
Adjusting minimum scholarly curriculum
to enrich empty minds it takes refracted sunshines."
That is awesome.
"Take this light with your great might,
free hearts that are gated
seeing truth in things exaggerated."
Ah, some interesting spell combos going on, guys.
Ice King! I see the Butt Rock!
The hour of glory is upon us.
Cauldron!
Smells so good down here! What's cooking?
Aah! Aah!
Girls, we can help.
OK, one, two, three! Lift!
Ow! Ow!
Um... let's get out of here.
No, don't go.
Hey, I could freeze all of us.
Then we'd be safe from drowning,
and once someone discovers our preserved bodies, we'll be saved!
Be like 200 years, tops!
Oh! Let me try this!
Mommy!
Oh, grog! I can't swim!
- Aah! Oh, glob! - Ymmom!
Somebody!
- Sorry.
I was hoping it wouldn't come to this,
my "last resort" poshe,
obtained from a mad yogi in the mystery mountains.
It's time to find out what it does.
Ba-bam!
Nice and slow.
Ooh, gent— Oh!
Oh, I'm flying!
Yoink. Take my head away from here, baby!
- No!
Maybe this is a test from destiny, guys!
If we all just surrender to these events,
the answer will reveal itself.
Whoa.
What? Hey, it's Giuseppe!
Giuseppe, how have you done this?
Whoa.
What was he?
I don't know, Abracadaniel,
but I think he was trying to show us something...
something new.
Sploo!
Jicka haka boogy noona hubba gubba.
Secret wizard handshake!
- Later, Chinchizerd. - Bye, Berdzerd.
See you at the secret thing tonight!
Loser.
Giuseppe.
Frederator.
This party is so crazy!