It's hard to believe finals are here.
during this stressful time, And I know
my voice blaring over a P.A. can't help.
for the next three days, Which is why,
but soothing sounds of nature. you'll hear nothing
here's a babbling brook. And to kick it off,
ON RECORDING OVER P.A.] [WATER BURBLING
if I say this is ridiculous, Will anyone back me up
another Avatar situation? or is it gonna be
I love Avatar.
What's an avatar?
Nature sounds or not, Okay!
we're not gonna have any trouble passing our Spanish final.
from my digital recorder. this semester's notes I've transcribed
You record every class?
Spoiler alert.
Alert nerd. You mean, nerd alert.
Here's a spoiler.
the next three days boning up. We're gonna spend
and move on to Spanish 103. Then pass the exam
Sounds like a good ending, Annie.
where I take Spanish 103. Except for the part
What do you mean?
my language requirement. Spanish 102 fills
we're a Spanish study group, I guess I just figured
so we'd keep taking Spanish together.
That's what I thought too. I'm in.
four-year schedule I'm on a tight,
to replace my bachelor's.
I'm not gonna take an extra class.
Spanish has value beyond credit. Not really.
downstairs hates me. I know the family
to understand why. I don't need
Okay, fine. You want me to say it? I'll say it.
I like this group. I want it to stay together.
the cool guy, Jeff, Yeah, you be
when that gets lonely, and next fall
I'll be in the front row of Spanish 103.
Monday through Friday, 6:00 a.m.
Six…
And now, crickets.
ON RECORDING OVER P.A.] [CRICKETS CHIRPING
[THE 88'S "AT LEAST IT WAS HERE" PLAYING]
* Give me some more Time in a dream *
To run out of steam ♪ d Give me the hope
* Somebody said It can be here *
Tied up dead in a year ♪ d We could be roped up
* I can't count the reasons I should stay *
* One by one they all Just fade away *
Okay, if we're not interested in Spanish 103 next year,
what about Anthropology?
Ooh. Anthropology! The study of man.
I'm still trying to forget what I learned about that subject.
Heh-heh. Go, girl.
You just go-girled yourself. Shut up.
See, it's fun!
And they have a class at noon. Noon, everybody.
Anthropology? Anthropology? Anthropology?
Annie, I'm not big on planning ahead,
unmovable appointment, but I have one
May 23rd, 2013.
To buy a flying car?
I have a table for one at Morty's Steakhouse
becoming a lawyer again, where I'll celebrate
which can only happen if I take a full load.
Don't.
A full load of classes every year.
I can maybe make it until then,
but not by building my schedule around BFFs.
We'll build ours around yours.
that we'll be friends Annie, you realize
a class together, right? whether or not we have
Of course you think that, Britta.
It's obvious from your name your parents smoked pot.
I haven't said a single word All right, well,
in this entire conversation and I find that outrageous.
Hola, el losers.
Winger, may I have a word with you in private?
Sure. Good.
Sorry. Oh, yeah.
Got it. Cool.
Okay, come back in 10 minutes.
I sent you to learn things. And if anyone asks,
close the door, please. And, Pierce,
Gracias.
Other side of the door.
So you're here
because your college degree was fake, right?
I prefer the term better than real, but yes.
Where did you get it? Two questions:
Could you have prevented being caught, and how?
One question:
Where did you learn to count questions?
you need a fake degree? Are you telling me
You know, in high school, I was in a band.
We could've been huge,
but the world wasn't ready
on keytar. for an Asian man
Did you say "keytar"
or did you pronounce "guitar" like a hillbilly?
you can play like a guitar. Keytar. It's a keyboard
Oh, right.
Get with the times, man.
next thing you know, I'm 32. Anyway,
And I'm bagging groceries
for, like, five bucks an hour plus tips.
Shocked? Confused.
I'm supposed to tip my bag boy?
So I did what anyone would do.
I faked my way into a job
at a community college, as a Spanish teacher
relying on phrases from Sesame Street.
Oh, my God.
Save the judgment, Winger, all right?
that I'm not a real teacher, If the dean finds out
your grades are invalid,
and you'll all have to repeat this class.
That was the chair. Good.
It's unsolvable.
Hold on. I forgot my…
Hey. What the hell are you doing?
Hey, come back here! Hey.
Come back here!
Uh, Jerry. Hey, Jerry. Check this out.
And that is what Milton was really saying.
Okay, exams are on Tuesday. Class dismissed.
that I'm not a real teacher, If the dean finds out
your grades are invalid
to repeat this class. and you'll all have
that I'm not a real teacher, If the dean finds out
your grades are invalid,
and you'll all have to repeat this class.
That was the chair. Right.
Hi, everybody. Hi.
I'm afraid I have some bad news for you, kids.
Well, it's actually bad news for the older people as well.
is no longer with us. Señor Chang
his death again, is he? Um. He's not faking
Because I can't handle that rollercoaster.
First, he's alive. Then we're happy.
And then he's alive again and…
I received an anonymous tip
had misrepresented that Chang
of his qualifications. certain aspects
For instance, having them.
Word of advice.
says he's a Spanish teacher, If an Asian man
to ask for proof, okay? it's not racist
You ignore your mother's voice,
into that horse's mouth. and get right
So if Chang's a fraud, what about our grades?
Are they invalid?
That's not fair to you guys. Oh, no, no, no.
I'm sure you've all worked very hard and learned.
with Chang's replacement. So just take your final
Doctor.
Buenos días. Buenos días.
Sí.
Buenos días.
Sí.
Listen to this back and forth.
It's like I'm at an embassy.
What's on the final?
I know it's in Spanish, dummy.
All three or…? What chapters?
Veinte.
She wants a large coffee. Oh, I know that one.
Oh. She's thinking.
Okay, in English.
exam for students at your level. You will be taking a standard
this entire textbook. It will cover
El crappo.
a word Dr. Escodera was saying. I couldn't understand
And why is she teaching Spanish if she's a doctor?
Go cure something.
I gotta pass that exam
or my entire four-year plan will be thrown off.
That might be your car, Jeff.
What? for the 4th of July, I was on my roof
the car alarms on the street. the fireworks set off
like a brand-new Lexus. That one sounded
My Lexus isn't brand-new. I know.
That's the year I heard it. Yours is a 2002.
Hey!
You two-faced jag!
You're wearing protective goggles to destroy my car?
Stop! Safety first!
I ask you for help and you turn me in?
Why would I screw myself? What? I did not.
What am I, Dr. Drew?
I didn't do it, okay?
so I can murder your face! Tell me who did it
Hey, break it up!
We're writing a song. Oh. Oh, oh.
For the battle of bands.
Good luck passing your exam, Winger.
I was teaching you Klingon. At one point,
why don't you tell that Yeah? Well,
weird-sounding magical chair? to your really
I have a condition!
I'm peeing. I'm peeing. I'm peeing.
Impressive.
and I put out that free cake I dismantled that valve
because I wanted to see what you could do.
You got a gift, kid. You know that, right?
A gift for sinks. Big deal.
I like learning. I'm a student.
Yeah, right. Learning.
Learn until you're dead. Learn everything.
Or…
you can call this number.
That's a company that fixes toilets and sinks.
Listen to me! Oh, man.
Toilets and sinks, real things.
Things that people always use and always need to get fixed.
This is a life, kid. A real one.
Doing something that matters, something that makes sense.
that makes sense is this. The only thing
Learning, thoughts.
and get a student loan, So I can think,
and grind my own coffee, and understand HBO.
You don't have to do that, kid. You're special.
You could be a plumber!
You could be a plumber.
Hi. Hey.
three kinds of verbs, Okay, so we know
which took 40 minutes.
if we don't sleep or pee, At this rate,
about 10 percent of the exam. we can cover
And if it's multiple choice,
25 percent of our guesses will be right.
Actually, that's a lot of right answers
when you're guessing almost everything.
I don't wanna sound like a defeatist,
but we're defeated.
Why even take the exam? Face it.
retaking Spanish this fall. We're all gonna be
[SHIRLEY GROANS AND ANNIE SIGHS]
What was that?
I don't know. What was what?
and everyone went, "Ugh." I said retake Spanish
And you went, "Hmm."
Maybe it's one of those recessive genes.
I can also curl my tongue. Who else?
Annie ratted out Chang.
You made this happen What?
because you're obsessed with all of us
being together next year.
I wouldn't say I was obsessed.
the witness as hostile? Permission to treat
I'll allow it.
Did you record yesterday's Spanish class?
I don't think so. Abed?
You said you record all your classes.
Pierce called it a spoiler alert.
You heard Chang tell me he was bogus.
because you would do anything And then dropped the dime
to keep this group together.
Because you are insecure.
Because you didn't get hot until after high school.
That's true.
Fine! I did it.
Oh, Annie. For real, Annie?
Someone make her a dude so I can punch her.
Go ahead and hate me. It's better that what was going to happen.
We were all gonna drift apart,
and you were all too cool to do anything.
Maybe not too cool, maybe just, you know, not psycho enough.
A little crazy. Little psycho.
Now she is going
to make the Disney face.
Her lip is gonna quiver her eyes will flutter,
but they won't ever actually close.
But do not feel sorry for her.
She stole a year of our lives, and we're right to be pissed.
Oh, Annie…
No! No.
Everyone close their eyes. Do it. Close them.
Oh, don't worry about me. Abed, close.
with people through… I can only connect
movies.
She's the Ark of the Covenant.
You guys, I'm sorry!
so that we could stay friends. I only did it
Picture her as Paul Giamatti.
Oh, I mean, he's… Heh.
what you did to us. Friends don't do
of the traveling pants Did the sisterhood
so they were too sick to leave? poison each other's food
I've never seen it, No!
they mailed each other pants! but I'm pretty sure
I said I was sorry.
Who cares if you're sorry?
We're still screwed.
Be sorry about this stuff before you do it.
Then don't do it!
It's called growing up.
Annie, we were still gonna see each other all the time.
my rehab group used to say. Yeah, that's what
that keeps in touch The only one
is the guy that sells jewelry made out of bottle caps.
that this group would amount I had hoped
than passing hellos to more
and whatever the hell this is.
about going after her. Nobody even think
That's what she wants, more personal drama
and stay in Spanish forever. so we fail the exam
We have to beat her.
Don't text her. Don't call her. Don't mention her.
We do not need her to study.
Does anybody know how to study?
Annie usually… Whose side are you on?
ON RECORDING OVER P.A.] [ANIMAL MOANING
Happy finals week, Greendale!
Continuing our stress-reducing nature sounds,
from Sounds of the Sereng that's cut five
Here's a B-side from that album,
"Antelope Slaughter at Ndutu."
SHRIEKS ON RECORDING OVER P.A.] [LION ROARS & ANTELOPE
Did we miss the exam? Oh, God.
No, it starts in 40 minutes.
Uh, I can't wake up Pierce.
Is this gonna take an unexpected turn?
You have to know how to do it.
Discrimination lawsuit. Preposterous!
Should we call Annie? Absolutely not.
Keep your eyes on the prize and let her grow up.
I'll see you all at the exam.
Wait for me, Britta.
in the bathroom yesterday. I was with you
You're with me everywhere.
you could be a plumber. Troy, I know
I'm not gonna be, okay?
I'm gonna be sophisticated and have no job,
or a job that looks, from a distance,
like I do nothing.
Troy, you know what the best part of my day is?
the time I sit down in Spanish For about ten seconds from
I look at your desk. to the time
Because I think maybe I'll look,
and he won't be there.
Between our studying for 12 hours,
and Pierce being asleep for 11 of them,
I think we may actually stand a chance.
predicted suffering. My horoscope
No, no, that's good.
Horoscopes are the devil trying to trick us.
Oh. Mm-hmm.
That make you happy? Yeah.
Why aren't you at your desk?
because you're a bad friend. I don't wanna sit near you
the best part of his day He said
is when he thinks I won't be there.
what a terrible thing to say. Abed,
It's from a movie.
Then the movie it's from is terrible.
Oh, I sent her a text. Where's Annie?
She hasn't responded yet.
what did I tell you? Shirley,
Don't play into her ploy for attention.
Oh.
She says she's fine What does it say?
and this isn't a ploy for attention.
She does need to grow up, She's sorry.
starting by making things right with Chang.
Oh, no.
He'll kill her. What?
Who cares about a stupid exam?
We're a study group.
And Annie's our friend.
Sierra del fuego.
I'm friends with Hannah too.
The whole class is.
And you can't have an exam without a class.
Right, guys?
We love Hannah! We love Hannah!
No!
The devil told the truth! Oh, no!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Whoa.
Winger, what the hell?
I was showing Annie What was that screaming?
of electronic sampling. the magic
[ANNIE'S SCREAM SAMPLED ON RECORDING]
you were murdering her. We thought
Annie getting me fired
that ever happened to me. was the best thing
She's helping me re-plan my life.
I mean, she's got a real mind for stuff like this.
We're gonna find Ben a job so he can stay at Greendale
as a student and work on his teaching degree.
And music classes, you know?
Maybe get the band back together, huh?
Oh. Listen to that.
would be great for you. Yeah. Music lessons
Oh, thanks, Britta.
Now go pass that test.
Well, it was kind of easy, right?
I might have passed. Yeah, I think
Jeff, I can never forgive myself for what I did.
a child for having feelings. Look, I treated you like
Maybe because that's, you know,
when I stopped having them. But you shouldn't.
to admit that you like people. You don't have to be a kid
And you don't have to dress like this to grow up.
You look like a travel agent.
You don't like it?
of a professor thing. Heh. I was going for more
What? Why?
What? Nothing.
I got half of it, which got me through the half I didn't.
Like the first season of The Wire.
I can't stay mad at you. Exactly… Ah, hell,
Oh, me too! I think I nailed it!
I'm feeling pretty confident, everybody.
I think we're gonna make it.
for the worst-case scenario. Still, we should plan
Because if we do all pass,
we won't have a class together. that means next year,
So we're gonna need a backup.
Anthropology? Anthropology? Anthropology?
Anthropology.
I want you to be in my next film.
Barnes, Troy: 68.
Bennett, Shirley: 81. Oh!
Edison, Annie: 95.
Hawthorne, Pierce: 70.
Nadir, Abed: 85.
Perry, Britta: 79.
Winger, Jeff…
I'm sorry, Jeff.
I'm sorry for the half-hearted mislead… 80.
We all pass Spanish.
Not to take anything away from anyone,
but didn't the test seem extra easy?
Uh-uh. I don't know.
Hey, thanks.
For making it easy.
I was going to say the same to you,
but you were gone before breakfast.
Heh. I'm an early riser. I'll say.