So, hey. How's everybody doing?
Good.
Hey, there. I like that top on you.
Oh. Thanks.
So.
What can you tell me about Themyscira?
Uhh, like what?
This is a class on Themyscira, right, gorgeous?
Seems like you should be able to tell me something about it.
What are your three favorite things about Themyscira?
Well, uh, I guess the ancient sculptures of Antigone.
And the recently unearthed poetry of Opolonia,
And the...
Oh, I'm sorry.
Because, what about...
the lesbians?
Huh, what? Oh, my God.
Hmm, that doesn't seem very professional.
Something is definitely off.
Ah, uh...
I know my contact lens is back here somewhere.
How is this helping me get to my Bride?
It's a trade-off. You help me help the Princess.
I help you with The Bride.
Well, it is taking a long time.
This Professor MacPherson,
she's the one who claims Circe's visions of the Princess
causing World War III are real.
- So? - So.
Does she seem like she knows what she's talking about?
- I suppose not. - The commandos are on their way
to assassinate the Princess. Now, we find out the truth
of this professor, we stop them,
and you get to see your Bride.
A hero.
Oh, awesome!
Should I kill the professor?
- What? No. - A few of the kids?
No! Why are you killing anyone?
You just said you wanted me to be a hero.
Not like that.
Right now we should check out the professor's house,
while she's here at school.
Okay.
I'll take the underwear drawer.
Guess what I bring you, Mr. Victor.
Lemon...
I did what I had to do.
Yes, hello.
This is General Rick Flag. I'm trying to get
ahold of Princess Ilana.
No, I know you don't speak English.
Hold on. Wait!
Son-of-a...
Welcome back to Pokolistan, my friends.
Pleasure to see you again, Alexi.
Seems strange for you
to be back so soon, Booka?
As you know, we're just here to protect the Princess,
being as we have another credible threat.
For 100 years in isolation,
we have no problems in Pokolistan.
Then we open communications with Americans,
and within weeks,
it's nothing but threat, threat, threat.
Well, I'm not here to comment
on our government's political choices.
What is the threat, exactly?
Who is threat?
Unfortunately, that's classified.
If Princess's life is in danger,
don't you think we should know?
It doesn't really matter what I think, Alexi.
Look, that woman is walking a cat.
Mmm-hmm.
I didn't know that was something that happens.
Apparently it is.
Could be a bad omen.
Or maybe it's just a cat on a leash.
Something that odd?
No, it's definitely an augury of some type.
I know these things.
I once lived with a gypsy woman steeped in the occult.
Ivan?
What have you found, boy?
Oh...
my...
What tomfoolery is this?
Ivan.
No, no.
Good boy.
You're badly burned, good sir.
These ointments have ancient healing properties.
They are sacred to my family.
Gypsy shit.
Da. Gypsy shit.
Ahh.
Your mobility is improving, I see.
Why do you not look at me when you speak?
It is disrespectful.
My eyes do not work, Eric.
You are blind?
Da.
This world holds nothing of worth besides beauty.
If I were blind,
- I would kill myself. - Oh, my.
The beauty of my Bride.
That is what keeps me going.
- Close your eyes. - Why?
Ha, have I not earned your trust?
Close your eyes.
Are they closed?
Yes.
Now, imagine you're Bride.
That is beauty.
And it is not with your eyes, is it?
No.
That is most of my everyday.
I see more beauty than you can imagine.
I'll take upstairs.
Is that a leash?
Frank! Come up here.
It's her, the professor. It's MacPherson.
But we just saw her.
Had to be a fake, some sort of disguise artist,
or someone working for Circe to throw us all off track.
All that mumbo-jumbo with Waller yesterday,
to get the Princess killed.
Da?
I need to speak to Princess Rostovic right now.
- Richard! - Oh, thank God.
Ilana, you need to get out of there.
I don't have any time, but the commandos
are on their way to kill you. Get out!
What? I don't understand.
Tell her about me.
- I'll explain soon... - Tell her about how we've been
- hanging out and everything. - Frank, shut up.
Right now you need to
- get someplace safe. - How I'm a good person.
Alexi is picking them up now.
- Hey, Ilana, just get out. - Tell her to put in a good word
for me with The Bride.
Would you shut the fuck up?
Ilana, just get out of there.
I'll call you back shortly.
Go! Get out of there!
What?
You didn't tell her anything about me?
Like what?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe how we're best friends?
How is she going to vouch to The Bride
about how much I've changed and what a rad guy I am
if you don't even tell her we're buds!
Shh! The Bride is trying to kill her.
She's not gonna listen to what Ilana has to say.
I'm beginning to suspect
this whole plan makes absolutely no sense
- from my point of view. - Ugh. Hide!
You think you're hidden right now?
Oh, come, I don't give a shit.
- Turkey. - I can smell.
You clean it.
No need to be so bossy.
I seem to have a way with this shotgun.
If I see something to murder, I barely have to think it,
and it is done.
My father would be happy to see it put to use.
Ivan helped.
Oh! What did Ivan do?
He was quiet.
It was good.
- Bogdana? - Yes?
Thank you for nursing me back to health,
and allowing me a place to recuperate.
This is not just a place for you to recuperate, Eric.
It is your home.
I, and especially Ivan,
have been the happiest
we've ever been in your company.
Even though you're a grouch.
I still have this shotgun, woman, don't tempt me.
Da?
No.
Okay.
He says there is unfortunate traffic on the way to castle,
so we should take alternative route.
There you go, idiot.
That's a shapeshifter.
Calls himself Clayface.
He's dangerous.
We have to sneak out.
- What's up, Alexi? - Hmm?
This isn't... We're leaving the city.
The castle is that way.
Oh! It seems roundabout, but it's good shortcut.
What the hell?
Engine was making funny noise.
Did you hear that?
Did you, huh?
No.
I am afraid I am screwing up.
How do you say? The... The suedinitel?
- How do you... - I think how we say it is,
Keep moving, Alexi!
You want me to permanently damage vehicle?
Yes!
Ugh! Turn around! Turn around!
Flag.
Gotcha!
Damn it!
My men have fought and died for the Princess.
We are not going to let you kill her now.
Stand down, Bride.
You...
What a shame.
I liked that guy.
♪ When I was drunk In the gutter ♪
♪ Or in the arms of another ♪
♪ Well just you remember ♪
♪ When you were Left in the darkness ♪
♪ I lit a match for you, Didn't I? ♪
♪ Just to let you know ♪
♪ Da, da, da, da, da ♪
Argh! Ugh.
♪ I'm sorry that I caused you pain ♪
♪ Girl, you were Driving me insane ♪
♪ C'est la vie, so long ♪
♪ You know, I'll always love you ♪
♪ So you go your way I'll go mine ♪
♪ Those wedding bells will never chime ♪
Argh!
♪ But still, I'll always love you ♪
♪ So long ♪
Argh!
Please, please don't.
Nina? Phosphorus?
Damn it!
Hold on, Flag.
Hold on!
Don't die!
Because I have so many questions before you do.
Did The Bride ever mention me?
Is that a yes?
In your estimation,
did she say my name fondly?
Flag!
Tell The Bride the truth.
You...
Please, Eric. Reconsider this.
I have stayed longer than intended.
I have to find my Bride.
Our sole purpose is to be together.
She tried to kill you.
She does not love you.
Ah, she was being flirtatious and coy.
There are complex mating rituals between humans
you don't understand, Bogdana.
No one loves a woman who makes things too easy.
She does not love you.
Why can you not face this?
Um...
No.
Why did you lock Ivan outside?
Because I'm uncertain he would understand.
Understand what?
Please, Eric.
Don't leave.
I don't want to be alone.
I would never let you be alone,
Bogdana.
♪ I wouldn't want to live ♪
♪ In a world without grudges ♪
Sergei?
♪ I'll be sitting in the bar There, drinking ♪
♪ Introduce yourself ♪
♪ Jesus I'm jumpy just relax You dumb motherfucker ♪
♪ It's so hard to keep quiet In these times ♪
♪ For the longest time There's been a thought ♪
♪ In the back of my mind which Cannot help but bring ruin ♪
♪ It's been one perfect crime, All my life ♪
♪ Oh, until tonight ♪
♪ You and I, we have lots in common ♪
♪ We met at some party Or at the bar ♪
♪ It was one of those nights When everything ♪
♪ Seems like a good idea ♪
♪ One of those night's when Every drink was free ♪
♪ And it was One perfect crime ♪
♪ All my life ♪
♪ Oh, until tonight ♪