(DOCTOR WHO THEME)
(SPACESHIP WHIRRING)
This sheep has been dead a year.
- Are they trying to poison me? - It is salted.
Salted? It stinks!
Wine! Must I perish of thirst? Bring me wine!
'Tis the dregs of the barrel, Captain. 'Tis the last there is.
(GROWLING)
Sour wine! Stinking meat!
Sour wine! Is this how I'm served?
Our supplies are low, Captain. It's sometime since we went a-foraging.
Meanwhile our fine neighbours feast their bellies full on fresh meat
and swill down flagons of fine wine.
Well, Sir Edward's storehouses and cellars are well-stocked.
Then perhaps we should relieve him of some of his abundance, eh, my friend?
He's a good neighbour. He'll not miss a little of his plenty.
Look!
(WHIRRING)
Stars are falling!
I see only one star.
It has fallen in the forest!
Come on, get up. Get up! Get up!
It is an omen.
- An evil sign! - It is mine.
Irongron's star. I will have it!
- Hurry. Fetch the horses. - Hurry? Hurry where?
To find the star before some knave robs me of it. It landed close by.
But the forest is still in darkness. Who knows what demons may set upon us?
Why, you chicken-hearted knaves, every man of you!
It's but an hour till dawn! Let's wait till then.
To wait and see what faces us. We'll follow you then, Captain.
Let all be made ready. I ride at dawn.
- Alone if need be. - We're with you, Captain.
Then bring me some wine.
We'll drink a toast to Irongron's star.
A star. A fallen star.
Careful, Captain, looks like the devil's work to me.
A warrior? A warrior from the stars! Have you come to challenge me?
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
Flee for your life, Captain!
- What creature is this? - 'Tis a devil from hell.
Peace.
Fear not. I shall not harm you.
It speaks. Who are you? Where do you come from?
I am a Sontaran officer.
My name is Linx.
I say he's a Saracen. I have heard tales of his Eastern magic.
By virtue of my authority as an officer of the Army Space Corps,
I hereby claim this planet, its moons and satellites
for the greater glory of the Sontaran Empire.
Help you? Why should I help you, star warrior?
Why should I not kill you and take your ship and its treasure for myself?
LINX: The ship is in need of repair.
Even if it were not, you would destroy yourself should you tamper with it.
Then why should I not just slay you for sport?
Can you overcome all of us with your magic?
LINX: You are a soldier, are you not? A warrior?
I took this castle by force of arms.
Those that were here before me, I slew.
All the countryside around here pays my tribute.
Yet no doubt you have enemies?
Other warriors who envy your good fortune?
Aye, but they cannot harm me.
The king has levied tribute.
- All their troops are at the wars. - And when they return?
Then we shall fight.
I can give you weapons,
weapons that can make you masters so that none dare stand against you.
- You shall take what castles you will. - Magic weapons?
Like that that smote the sword from my hand?
Other weapons fitter for your purpose.
Weapons that can strike a man dead from far away.
- You can be supreme warrior. - I can be king.
But what do you ask in return, apart from your life?
Shelter.
A place to conceal my ship and help with its repair.
- You have men that can work in metal? - An armourer to sharpen weapons,
a smith with a forge if these will serve your need.
I need more, much more.
There is damage to the drive mechanism of my ship.
I need alloy, skilled technicians, complex circuitry.
Oh, we have none of these things of which you speak.
Then I must take them from those who have.
In here, Brigadier?
Yes, I'm afraid so, Doctor. Not exactly the Ritz, I know,
but it's no joke providing emergency accommodation
for all these scientists.
All right, Brigadier, you've had your little bit of mystification.
Now I know where I'm supposed to stay,
perhaps you wouldn't mind telling me why?
This place is one of the most top secret security establishments
in the whole country.
Most of their work is so secret
they don't know what they're doing themselves.
And?
It's also one of the best-guarded places in the country.
Security details, alarm systems...
I rather gathered that when we arrived.
For a moment I thought they weren't going to let you in.
Yes, exactly. The place is almost too security conscious.
That's what makes it all the more puzzling.
Makes what all the more puzzling?
Come on, Brigadier, you can tell me.
- People vanishing. - People?
Well, they've lost half a dozen leading scientists
and several million pounds' worth of ultra-secret equipment.
What are they working on here anyway?
Space hardware. New alloys, guidance systems, methods of propulsion.
- And what action have you taken so far? - Well, I had rather a bright idea.
It's pretty hard to keep an eye on all these scientist chaps at home,
so I had these cubicles put up on several floors.
Confined the whole lot to barracks, all my eggs in one basket so to speak.
That's fine, so long as no one steals the basket.
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Linx! My Lord Linx!
Will you open the door?
LINX: None may enter here. Such was my agreement with your captain.
Yay, it is my captain who sent me.
He would have words with you, Lord Linx.
Then tell him I'm occupied. Now leave me to my work.
(BANGS ON DOOR)
Insolent primitives. Did I not need their aid...
- Where is the star warrior? - He would not come.
- He says he's occupied. - Oh, the insolent barbarian.
Did I not need his help, I'd...
See, Bloodaxe. The first of the new weapons.
Watch!
Oh! Claps the ears!
I'll soon master the aim.
Rubeish.
- I beg your pardon? - Joseph Rubeish.
Oh, I see. I'm so sorry. Hello. How do you do?
It's disgraceful, of course. Utterly disgraceful.
- Oh? What is? - Well, shutting us up.
Like a lot of kids kept in after school. And that brigadier chap, military idiot.
Yes, I know how you feel. Still, he means well, you know.
Haven't seen my wife and family for three days.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Ah, well, just shows there's always a silver lining.
- And your name? - Uh, Smith, Dr John Smith.
- Seems to be a lot of them about today. - I'm sorry?
I was talking to a young woman just now, also Smith.
- Well, there she is. Miss Smith? - Yes, Professor?
Come and meet your namesake.
- Miss Lavinia Smith, Doctor, uh... - Dr John Smith.
- How do you do, Miss Smith? - Hello.
Doctor, I'm intrigued. What's that for?
That? Oh, that, that contains my equipment, Professor.
That's original.
- You're the virologist, Miss Smith? - Yes.
Who told you?
I read your paper on the teleological response of the virus,
- a most impressive piece of work. - Thank you.
Particularly when I realised
you must have written it when you were five years old.
Ah, uh... Yes, that is rather difficult to explain, isn't it?
- You're going to try, aren't you? - Well, um...
My Aunt Lavinia is in America on a lecture tour, you see.
- Mmm-hmm. - She had an invitation to visit here.
- I took her place. - Why?
I thought all this might give me a good story.
I'm a journalist. Sarah Jane Smith.
You realise this is a very dangerous place to be in?
Well, I can't help that. I'm stuck here now.
Anyway, we've got all these soldiers looking after us.
Are you going to give me away, Doctor?
- I don't think so. - Why not?
Well, you can make yourself useful.
We need somebody around here to make the coffee.
If you think I'm going to spend my time making cups of coffee for you...
Professor!
Would you kindly desist? This is not a blackboard, you know.
Oh, I do beg your pardon, Doctor. I was just trying to prove...
What are you going to do in there?
Make myself a cup of coffee. Good day to you.
But for how long, Edward?
How long are we to tolerate this upstart,
this insolent usurper, as our neighbour?
He robs, he pillages, he murders. He flouts your authority every day,
your authority which comes from the King.
Unfortunately, my dear, the king who gave me my authority
has taken away my troops to fight in his interminable wars.
Irongron's band is small and we still have Hal the archer,
and one or two men-at-arms.
I've sent letters to all our neighbours.
Each, like myself, has but a mere handful of men,
yet if all these handfuls be combined,
they might yet make a force that will crush this Irongron.
If you will excuse me, my dear, I must give orders for dinner.
We caught this little rabbit in the forest, sire.
Sir Edward's squire.
- Are you loyal to your lord, boy? - I am.
- We shall see. - He carried this.
- He tried to eat it when we caught him. - Are Sir Edward's men so ill-fed?
Bah! I make nothing of their Norman scribbles.
- What's it say? - I cannot read, Captain.
What's the message say, boy?
So your Sir Edward is going to attack me, eh?
Well, speak.
I know nothing.
Take him below. We'll loosen his tongue presently.
- Edward. - What is it? Is Eric back?
- You haven't eaten all day. - Why does he not return?
I could have ridden to my Lord of Salisbury's castle three times over.
- It's not good for you to worry so much. - How can I not worry?
Think that tomorrow will be brighter.
Edward, I've heard that Irongron walks his battlements every morning.
Oh, it pleases him to be high. He's like a cockerel.
But does he climb so high that an arrow cannot reach him?
LINX: Irongron.
(IRONGRON CHUCKLING)
That strange armour you wear suits you, Linx.
- It is Sontaran space armour. - But why must we never see your face?
This helmet conceals the fact that I am not of your kind, Irongron.
You might not find my true appearance pleasing.
(CHUCKLING) By my sword, Linx, I'll wage you're the fairest beauty in the castle.
Why did you summon me? You know my work is pressing.
I have a prisoner in the dungeon, a surly fellow who will not speak.
- And you wish him to? - Yes.
Then give him to me. I will make him speak.
Tell Bloodaxe to bring up the prisoner.
Well, Linx, you cunning old devil,
what fresh tricks can you show Irongron, eh?
What is the nature of the information you seek?
He's a messenger of those who plot a war against me.
A war? That is excellent.
- Oh, so you like war, eh? - Who does not?
My race has been at war for millennia.
There is not a galaxy in the universe
which our space fleets have not subjugated.
But you do not understand me.
I am stranded on this primitive planet
when I should be leading my squadron to glory.
- I am an expert at war, Irongron. - I know.
What about those weapons you promised me?
Keep your side of the bargain, I shall keep mine.
You shall have your weapons.
(GROWLING)
We make good allies, Linx. Each has much that the other wants.
- Miss Smith... - No, no, I'm the Doctor.
You really must keep your glasses on the end of your nose, Professor.
No, no. Listen, she's not Miss Smith.
- She isn't? - No. Who is she?
I don't think I quite understand what you're talking about, Professor.
Just now I was in the common room with Sir Maxwell Dingle.
I happened to mention I was on the same landing
with Lavinia Smith, the virologist.
- And do you know what he says? - Yes. He said that she's in America.
He said she's in... How could you know?
Please be careful! This is very delicate equipment.
What if she's a spy? What do we do?
- Shoot her? - Ha! There's something odd about her.
She even tried to tell me you were a spy.
Am I on the right floor?
- Good night. - Goodnight, Professor.
- What's that? - That's my alarm clock.
Oh, Doctor, kindly don't be so patronising. Now, what is it really?
It's a rhondium sensor. It detects delta particles.
At a preset spectrum density of 15 ams,
it oscillates this little cylinder there,
which promotes a vacuum in there, which wakes me up. Clear?
Why do you want to be woken up when it detects delta particles?
Because I am very fond of delta particles.
- Why do you ask so many questions? - Because I'm a journalist.
- Are you going to sleep there? - If you'll allow me to do so.
Good night, Miss Smith.
Psst.
Shouldn't we tell the Brigadier?
- Tell the Brigadier what? - About her.
I think we can decide what to do about Miss Smith
in the morning, Professor, if we're all still here.
He has a stout heart, this one, sire. He speaks not a word.
Good. A fair measure for you, Linx.
(HUMMING)
Well, come on, Linx, have at him!
- Ask what you wish. - Eh?
But you've done nothing.
This is a key. I have unlocked your prisoner's mind.
Question him.
How many men guard Sir Edward's castle?
There are but 10, old men for the most part.
And he plans to attack me with 10 old men?
He sends messages to raise a force against you.
If he succeed, then he will attack.
(IRONGRON LAUGHING)
Listen to the fellow! He cannot stop babbling.
Stay, Linx! Have I given you leave?
Each of us has work to do, Irongron. I will be back.
By my sword, Bloodaxe,
I'll pickle that insolent star warrior in boiling oil one day!
Insolent dog!
(SNORING)
(PULSING)
Rubeish?
- Rubeish! - What? Who is it?
Oh, it's all right. Nothing to worry about. Just checking.
- What's happening? - You're asking questions again.
(PULSE ACCELERATING)
(CRASHING)
- Professor Rubeish? - Rubeish!
- He's gone! - Yes.
He was here a moment ago.
He can't have gone far.
He's as blind as a bat without his glasses.
You stay here, Miss Smith. I'm going to check the landing.
- Anybody come out of here just now? - No.
(BEEPING)
(BEEPING ACCELERATING)
- What were they shooting at? - Shadows.
Oh, come on, Doctor, stop treating me like a child.
I can't understand why the definition was so low.
Unless he's operating with a very weak power source at maximum range.
- Yes, of course. - BRIGADIER: Doctor?
- Doctor? - Hello!
Look, Doctor, we've had a raid. Is everyone present on this landing?
No. Professor Rubeish is missing.
Oh, my giddy aunt! The Minister will go spare.
Did you see anything, Doctor?
- Yes. - What?
Well, I thought I saw a man in armour.
- A man in armour? - Mmm-hmm.
You mean old-fashioned armour? You mean a ghost?
Oh, I very much doubt it.
- Sorry I can't stop, Brigadier. - Why? Where are you going?
Well, I've got to get on the trail while it's still warm.
What trail? The chap's just vanished.
No, he hasn't. I just got a fix on him.
There's something very odd indeed going on.
Yes. Well, if I may say so, Doctor, that is not exactly news to me.
Someone's operating a matter transmitter.
And the really odd thing is there's a time transference, too.
It's being worked from several centuries ago, past and present mixed up.
- DOCTOR: Very interesting that. - Professor Rubeish, are you in there?
I can't stay here chatting, old boy. Got to get after Rubeish.
Doctor, I forbid you to go off in that contraption.
There's no telling where you'll finish up.
Remember what happened to you on Metebelis III.
- Well, I got there, didn't I? - Yes, eventually, after several detours.
Brigadier, a straight line may be the shortest distance between two points,
but it is by no means the most interesting.
Goodbye, old chap.
But, Doc...
(WHOOSHING)
Well done, old girl. Absolutely on target.
For once.
It's still only a police box.
I must find a telephone.
Sir Edward only has a puny force. He stands within his walls.
- If we can only breach them, Bloodaxe. - We could cut Sir Edward's soldiers down
in less time than our rogues spend with their breakfasts.
It's those accursed walls, walls like these.
But with Linx's new weapons...
Excuse me, could you tell me where the nearest telephone...
He flees through the forest. Take him!
After him, you dogs! Through the forest!
Oh, it must be some sort of pageant. I say...
Hey, you there. Hey, what are you doing? Get off!
- Let go of me! Hey! - How the blazes did she get here?
SARAH: Stop it!
Look, if this is a rag day joke, it's not funny!
- Come on! - Let me go! I won't tell you...
(TWIG SNAPS)