(DOCTOR WHO THEME)
I won't tell you again!
Look, I'm not amused. Stop it!
(TWIG SNAPS)
Come on.
(GRUNTING)
Make it keen.
I want Sir Edward not to know the moment when his head is parted from...
(SHOUTING)
- What's this! - She was found within bowshot, Captain.
Idiots! Why don't you stop this ridiculous pantomime?
She spits fire, eh, Bloodaxe? Come here, girl.
Get lost! Oh! Ow!
- She wears gold, Bloodaxe. - That hurt, you fool!
You call Irongron a fool?
I'll have the marrow from your bones, my little chicken.
Where are you from?
Look, just pack this up, will you? It's not funny.
I happen to be a reporter, and I've got a big story...
Take her away, Bloodaxe. Throw her in the dungeon.
Why don't you take off that ridiculous gear and go home to your butcher's shop?
Let go! Look, I warn you.
Any more of this and I'm going straight to the police.
- Stay, Bloodaxe! - Captain?
Leave her.
That's better.
(SCOFFS) Now, if I could just use your telephone.
(MAN GROANING)
This is the dog that shot at you, Captain!
So you thought to kill Irongron, eh?
Aye, and I would but for her. She drew my aim aside.
You treacherous dog!
- Did Sir Edward send you? - No.
- You lie! - I speak the truth!
- If not Sir Edward, who then? - I don't understand. Where am I?
It was my Lady Eleanor.
Ah, that narrow-hipped vixen.
Bloodaxe, tomorrow we dine at Wessex Castle.
Yes, Captain. And what of the prisoner?
Ere long we shall deal with him sharply.
(LAUGHING)
Sharply, eh? 'Tis richly put.
Aye. That'll be a fine jest, Captain Irongron.
I'm not one of your stuffy Norman nobles.
I like a bit of rough fun.
'Tis true, Captain, you have a merry wit indeed!
Look, please! Now you've had your laugh,
now, you know, just let's stop it and talk sensibly.
I mean, if it's any consolation to you, you're scaring me out of my wits.
- Perhaps the wench is crazed, Captain. - Oh, come on. What is this place?
You are in the castle of Irongron, my lady.
Few uninvited guests come here, and few that do leave alive.
All right. If you insist on playing guessing games...
Now, it's not a village pageant. It's too elaborate for that.
A film set. No, no lights, no cameras.
Aye, the wench is crazed, right enough. And pity, she's not un-comely.
I've got it! It's one of those tourist places.
Uh, a medieval castle all restored to its original condition
with jolly banquets and buxom serving wenches.
That's it, isn't it?
Mind you, I think you're overdoing the sordid realism a bit.
I mean, I know things were pretty grotty in the Middle Ages,
but, really, you might leave the tourists a bit of glamorous illusion.
I've never seen such a scurvy...
For pity's sake, cease this babbling, girl!
BLOODAXE: Captain.
Ah, Linx. What of my weapons? Are they ready?
Soon. But I have another weapon to show you.
- For your leave, master, the prisoner? - Aye, aye.
- What is this? - Eh?
- Oh, just a girl taken in the forest. - Girl?
- You have two species on this planet? - How say you?
The girl is not of your kind, Irongron.
The hair is finer. The thorax of a different construction.
Oh, hell's teeth, have you no girls beyond the stars?
- No women to do the lowly work? - Ah, I understand.
You have a primary and secondary reproductive cycle.
It is an inefficient system. You should change it.
You what?
In the Sontaran Military Academy,
we have hatchings of a million cadets at each muster parade.
Thus we can sustain enormous casualties on all battlefronts.
- You cluck away like a broody old hen. - Wait!
This cloth is machine-woven.
The girl is not of your time, Irongron.
Oh, curse the girl! Show me the...
Who? What?
How?
Sarah Jane Smith. Reporter.
In a machine. I did not understand it.
- What century? - Twentieth.
Your civilisation knows nothing of time-dimensional technology. Explain.
I cannot. It is a machine that belongs to someone called the Doctor.
- Linx... - Silence!
This is important. My mission is threatened.
Explain the Doctor.
He is a scientist. He was at the research centre.
He said he was very fond of delta particles.
Ah. Is he here?
Yes. Somewhere. I was hiding in the machine when he left.
It becomes clear.
Linx, what of the weapon?
Very well.
It is here.
Who are you? How do you come into my castle?
Well, speak fellow!
Answer me or lose your head for insolence!
It cannot answer you. It is just a suit of steel. It is empty.
- But it walks! - It walks.
And it fights, Irongron. Is it a good weapon?
Does it kill?
It does nothing else and it cannot be killed.
By heavens, Linx, can you make me more of these?
If you wish.
With a few such soldiers as that, I could take the world!
When I have left this dull planet,
it would amuse me to think of it under the rule of King Irongron.
Very well, provide me with all that I ask for
- and I can make many more of these. - It's a bargain.
By heavens, Linx, I never thought when I first saw you
that I should come to love you as a brother.
- Now, show me how the iron man works. - Wait.
The girl creature has gone.
Oh, she'll not get far before one of my guards grabs her tail.
Now, show me. Show me how it fights. Make it walk again.
Sarah? Miss Smith. Come back!
- Stay! Bloodaxe. - Sire.
- Would you fight for your life, fellow? - I'll fight any man, my lord.
(IRONGRON LAUGHING)
- Then stand against Irongron's champion. - Who is this?
You'll see some sport now, Bloodaxe. Here, fellow.
Master, this is not fair combat to pitch knight against bowman.
At this close range, his arrows'll pierce the armour's weak points.
- Take aim, fellow. - I am that.
Your freedom if you kill him. Stand back.
Your champion'll have more arrows in his gizzard
than a thistle has spikes.
My lord, look! He still moves!
(MEN LAUGHING)
What fool...
Guard your back, my lord!
BLOODAXE: Captain!
Psst!
By heavens, Bloodaxe, 'tis like a tin tadpole.
You cut off its head and yet it wriggles.
I'll have a word with Linx about this.
(GROWLING)
(MEN LAUGHING)
(BANGING ON DOOR)
IRONGRON: Linx? Linx, you mongrel!
I have a bone to pick with you. Come here!
I am occupied, Irongron.
What! Out this minute or I'll burst the door down.
Well? What is it you need to say to me?
Didn't I tell you you might not find my face pleasing?
Aye, and never was truer word spoken.
Are they all so fair of face beyond the stars?
The variety of sentient life forms is infinite.
Do you think your primitive features are pleasing to me?
- Well, what is it you want? - That accursed iron warrior of yours.
You are pleased with it?
Some knave with a crossbow shot the control from my hand.
The iron man became crazed, tried to kill all of us.
Perhaps the hand control unit itself is a weakness.
I will make you a better warrior, Irongron.
One that'll obey your voice perhaps.
First, help me kill the one I have now. It still struggles to slay my knaves.
It cannot be killed. It was never alive.
Come, I will de-activate it.
Professor Morrison?
Professor.
Absolute lunacy.
- Rubeish! - What? Who is it?
It's me. It's the Doctor. Don't you remember?
We were on the same landing at the research centre.
Oh, my dear fellow. So he's got you, too, has he?
No, hardly. Look, Professor, what's wrong with all these people?
Hypnotised. Can't get a word out of them. Rotten company.
- Well, you seem to be all right. - Oh, didn't work with me.
- Strong-minded, you see. - Yes, and very nearly blind.
Oh, nonsense.
Obviously working some sort of ocular device.
Professor, have you any idea where you are?
Some medieval English castle, I suspect.
I've been feeling the carvings on some of these columns.
They're astonishingly well preserved.
Yes, you're in a castle all right, but do you know the time?
About four in the afternoon. We haven't had breakfast yet, you know.
Doesn't feed us much. Once a day if we're lucky.
Now, Professor, listen to me.
This may come as a shock to you so steel yourself.
You have been brought back to the early years of the Middle Ages.
That's interesting.
I've always maintained that the Loop Theory of Time
shouldn't have been so arrogantly dismissed by Crabshaw and his cronies.
Tell me about it some other time.
We've got to get out of here before Linx comes back.
Not yet, Doctor. This is the opportunity of a lifetime.
There's some most interesting work being done here.
If only I could see it all properly.
Professor, your life is in considerable danger. I must insist you...
You go if you want to, Doctor. Go on, but leave me alone.
- Professor, don't you understand? - Stop!
- You are the one called the Doctor? - You know who I am?
I have been expecting you. Why did you follow me to this time?
To prevent your interference with the affairs of Earth.
Don't you realise the harm that you'll cause?
This primitive planet and its affairs are of no importance.
That's a typically Sontaran attitude.
Only one thing matters, to complete the repairs to my ship
and return to the glorious war that is my destiny.
Nothing must interfere with that, nothing and nobody.
I vouch for her, my lord. Without her help, I would not be here.
She looks like one I would trust.
Sit, child. Tell us where you're from.
I can't. It's too difficult to explain.
The manner of her dress is strange, and the manner of her speech.
There is much strange at Irongron's castle, Sir Edward.
I told you of the knight that fights on though it should be dead.
And one of the guards told me there's a man from the stars
that lives among them. A mighty wizard who makes magic weapons.
A man from the stars.
I've heard it said he has the help of devils and magicians.
- It is true, Sir Edward. I have seen it. - Well, I know who's helping him.
- It's the Doctor. - The doctor?
Well, that's what he calls himself, but he's no magician.
- Just some eccentric scientist. - What does she say?
The words are strange, but I know her meaning.
Who is this doctor? What do you know of him?
Scientists, learned men.
They're being taken from the place I come from,
and I believe that the Doctor is bringing them here
and handing them over to Irongron.
What would Irongron want with these wizards?
To make him magic weapons, my lady.
Irongron thinks only of war and conquest.
Anything that makes Irongron strong can work only to our harm.
With an army of magic knights such as I fought,
Irongron could conquer the whole kingdom.
Who knows what other sorceries he may soon have at his command?
I'm sure the Doctor's the key to it all.
He was there when one of the scientists was taken.
He has a machine that can travel through time.
Well, it must be him, and somehow we've got to stop him.
If he's Irongron's ally,
he sits safe within Irongron's walls. There's nought we can do.
Oh, there's always something you can do. It's just a matter of working out what.
- A brave speech. - She has the heart of a lion, sire.
I saw her give Irongron the sharp edge of her tongue.
If I had an army of girls such as you, I might hold this castle forever.
As it is, how can I fight Irongron and this doctor?
All right, I'll tell you how.
Now, the first thing we must do is grab the Doctor
and get him away from Irongron.
And force him to make his magic for me? Good thought.
Aye, but how could it be done?
Oh, what's wrong with you? All it needs is a sort of commando raid.
You knock out the sentries, rush into the castle,
grab the Doctor and away.
- You've got soldiers, haven't you? - A handful.
- A raid? A bold plan. - I'll go, Sir Edward.
You resisted well, Doctor.
I could have increased the power, but I might have killed you.
I need you alive.
A brain of your capacity can be of use to me.
Thank you.
You're not of this planet. How came you to be here?
Oh, I'm just a tourist. I like it here.
- This hole in space? - You haven't seen it at its best.
It has no military value, no strategic significance.
Once again, a Sontaran philosophy.
I'm Commander Linx, Fifth Sontaran Army Space Fleet.
Ah, yes. Yes, as I thought.
A Sontaran warrior.
So, the perpetual war between the Sontarans and the Rutans
- has spread to this tiny planet, has it? - Emergency landing.
I was on a reconnaissance mission when I was attacked
by a squadron of Rutan fighters.
You have encountered my race before, Doctor?
Unfortunately.
I'll overlook that insult for the moment.
- What is your native planet? - Gallifrey. I am a Time Lord.
Ah, yes.
A race of great technical achievement,
but lacking the morale to withstand a determined assault.
- Oh, you think so? - I'm only a lowly commander, Doctor.
I merely quote from the appreciation circulated by our military intelligence.
Well, you'd be well advised
never to put that appreciation to the test, Linx.
My only ambition at the moment is to return to my squadron.
You can be of value to me. You can help repair this ship.
You seem to have acquired some help already.
Primitives. I adapted my ship's frequency modulator
and projected myself forward as far as I could.
Unfortunately, I only had the power to reach the 20th century.
From which you stole the equipment
and the skilled help that you couldn't find here.
Yes.
But the work goes slowly.
Commander Linx, if you will return these people to their own time,
I might possibly consider helping you.
Do not attempt to bargain with me, Doctor!
Take that seat there by the controls.
Move.
You're interfering with human evolution, Linx.
Don't you realise the damage that you're going to do to them?
I have no interest in human evolution.
I'm placing you under auto-control, Doctor,
to ensure your complete cooperation.
Human beings must be allowed to develop at their own pace.
At this period, they're just a few steps away from barbarism.
You will monitor progress rates on the input panel against the programmer.
Now I must leave you in charge for a time.
You give them breech-loading guns now,
they'll have atomic weapons by the 17th century.
They'll have the capability to destroy their own planet
before they're civilised enough to handle it!
You would do well to concentrate on the task I have given you, Doctor.
Answer the programmer.
(ZAPPING)
I still say this is no work for women.
I wouldn't have missed this for anything.
Anyway, I'm the only one who knows what the Doctor looks like.
Come on, this way.
Ah, now these are more to my taste than your iron man, Linx.
I will still perfect the fighting robot for your army, Irongron.
We'll take these weapons to the men, Bloodaxe,
and I shall instruct them in their use.
Tomorrow morning, at dawn, we march on Sir Edward's castle.
Yes, Captain.
By sunset he'll be feeding the crows.
Rubeish! Professor, over here quickly.
Is that you, Doctor? I thought you were going.
- A change of plan. I want your help. - Are you wearing a hat?
Behind me you'll find a panel. There's a switch on it.
It's dangerous, overheats the brain.
- Panel... Oh, yes, I've got it. - Right, turn the switch.
I've always thought that's why judges are so peculiar.
It's those wigs they wear.
No! No! That's the wrong... No, no, man!
Sorry. I do wish I'd brought my glasses.
Yes, so do I. It was the wrong one.
Is this the one?
Yes, that was the one. Thank you very much indeed, Professor.
- Not at all, Smith. - Smith. Yes, of course.
Will you excuse me? I've got to go and find a young girl.
I'll see you later, I hope.
Young girl? I should've thought he was a bit old for that sort of thing.
Oh, well.
Ah, good evening.
Get after him! Call the guards!
(SHOUTING)
Catch him!
(SHOUTING)
Grab him! Grab him!
(SHOUTING)
He who strikes Irongron dies!