(DOCTOR WHO THEME)
What a brain.
(CHUCKLING)
What a brain.
(COUGHING)
Do that again.
(COUGHING)
Say, "Ah".
-Ah... - Ah! Ah.
Laryngitis.
How can a robot catch laryngitis? I mean, what do you need it for? Hmm?
Romana! Laryngitis.
- Doctor? - Romana, the dog's got laryngitis.
I... Sorry, I thought you were Romana. Have you seen her...
- (WHISPERING) What are you doing here? - Regenerating. Do you like it?
Regenerating?
What are you talking about, regenerating?
Only Time Lords regenerate.
It's awfully nice to see you, Princess Astra...
- Romana. - Romana?
- Ah! Shut up, K9. -Ah...
- What are you doing in that body? - Regenerating. Do you like it?
But you can't wear that body.
I thought it looked very nice on the Princess.
But you can't go round wearing copies of bodies.
Why not? We're not going back to Atrios, are we?
- No. - Well, then.
Well, then go and try another one. Go on.
All right.
What's the trouble here?
(MUMBLING)
I quite like this one but it's a bit short.
Hmm?
Well, lengthen it, then. Go on.
(MUMBLING) Trying to look like other people.
It's just not important, is it, K9?
(WHISPERING) No, thank you. Not today.
It's what's on the inside that matters.
That's what's important, isn't it, K9? Do you agree with me, K9?
Too tall. Take it away.
Now...
Listen. You listen to me in there.
What you want is something warm and sensible.
Something that will wear well.
Something with a bit of style and, well, style. You know?
How about this, Doctor?
Exactly! Good heavens, that's exactly right.
Ha! I never realised you had such a sense of style.
I thought you said external appearances weren't important.
Ah! But it's nice to get them right, though, isn't it?
- Ah! But it's what's inside that counts. - Exactly.
- Oh. - Don't you like it?
I think it'll do very nicely.
The arms are a bit long. I can always take them in.
No, no, no. The arms are just fine. They're just fine. It's just that...
Oh, well, all right. Have it your own way.
But get rid of those silly clothes, eh?
Where are we going?
I don't know. It depends on the randomiser.
Let me know when we get there.
(WHOOSHING)
- We've arrived. - What?
- I said we've arrived. We got there. - What's the place like?
Eh? Oh, breathable atmosphere,
high degree of seismic activity.
- What? - Lots of earthquakes.
Oh, seismic. I thought you said psychic.
- Sidekick? - Like it? I haven't seen it yet.
Look, if you want to talk to me, will you come in here and do it, please?
- What? - Never mind!
There. What do you think?
Oh, that's fine. Here, take a couple of those, will you?
What are they for?
Anti-radiation pills. The levels are quite high out here.
There's a bleeper that will bleep when you need the next dose.
Right, let's see where we are.
Oh, look, rocks!
- Let's go. - Right.
Got to do something with K9.
You know the most important thing my cybernetics tutor ever taught me?
No, what?
When replacing a brain, always make sure the arrow A
is pointing to the front.
You get that? Arrow A...
- To the front. - Absolutely right.
Not the most inviting planet.
- What is it? - I don't know.
Feeling I've been here before.
- Déjà vu? -Oui.
- There's something you recognise? - Nothing tangible.
I just have a sensation.
Pervading air of... Can you feel it, too?
- Shall we go back inside? - What?
And never know where I'd been until the end of time?
I wouldn't sleep at night. Come on.
- Interesting. - Precious stones?
Very precious.
In a geological sense, more precious than diamonds,
but I'd need a bigger bit...
Ah-ha!
(LAUGHING)
- I was right. - How modest.
Well, then, see what you make of it.
A composite material.
Gravel in a binding of, possibly, limestone and clay.
Limestone and clay making...?
- Add water, cement. - Add gravel.
Concrete.
You know something?
You've got all the makings of a first class navvy.
Concrete, manufactured.
Look!
The ruins of a city?
Come on.
Doctor.
(DISTANT RUMBLING)
- Those tremors. - Yes?
Could they have destroyed it?
Seems to be coming from over there.
Let's go this way.
I wonder what could have caused it.
Don't know, something fairly serious by the look of it.
It seemed to be coming from right under our feet.
It sounded like drilling. What do you think it was?
I don't know. Underworld dentist? Come on.
(THUDDING)
Let's get closer.
Strange custom.
Well, you try digging a hole through rock.
- Like the living dead. - What? The living dead?
You mean a planet ruled by zombies?
I want to know who lives on this planet.
With one basic difference, the living are very much like the dead.
Who was it who said the living are just the dead on holiday? Never mind.
You should meet one.
- You can always tell a genuine zombie. - How?
Skin is cold to the touch.
I want to get a closer look at that body.
ROMANA: They've gone.
I'll keep watch.
- Listen... Sorry. Did I startle you? - Yes, you did!
- What did you find out? - The deceased was a combat pilot
serving with the 3rd Galactic Fleet of the planet Kantria.
Kantria? Kantria's a tropical paradise.
- Yes. - What is a Kantrian doing dying here?
What's very odd, he died of exhaustion and malnutrition.
It's not surprising, a place like this.
Except, wouldn't you have expected him to have died of radiation first?
Look!
Well, it's not a flying saucer.
- Recognise the type? - Not specifically.
Judging by design and size, I'd say it had
intergalactic range and time warp capability.
ROMANA: Origin almost certainly star system 4-X Alpha 4.
Well, without reference to my Jane's Spacecraft of the Universe,
I wouldn't dispute that.
ROMANA: What's it doing now?
I've never seen anything like that before.
Yeah, interesting technique, camouflage and defence.
For a place that looked dead, there's a lot going on.
Yeah.
DOCTOR: Probably hit it at the beginning of the tourist season.
- How far away would you say that was? - About a mile.
Well, that's just about the distance for a good bracing walk.
What? We're going down there?
Yeah. Well, it would be less than gracious not to welcome them.
We can pretend we're couriers. Come on.
(EXPLOSIONS)
Come on, this way!
These explosions, where are they coming from?
I don't know.
- Got it! Underground drilling. - Why explosions?
- High impact phason drills. - Here?
Yes. Someone's imported some high technology.
Doctor, look out!
Doctor!
(GRUNTING)
Can't a fellow get any sleep around here?
- Are you all right? - I don't know. I can't see all of me.
My extremities seem unimpaired but I'm being squashed.
Can you take some of the weight?
(GRUNTING)
I can't move it.
Without this block, you'd have been flattened. You're lucky.
We're not going to move this without help.
K9 could do it if he was in one piece.
- I've got my... - I'll be as quick as I can.
- Good. - Will you be all right?
Who knows?
Don't go away, will you?
I had rather hoped you'd resist the temptation to say that.
- Don't forget the arrow. - A to the front!
Origins of the Universe.
(LAUGHING)
He got it wrong on the first line. Tsk!
Why didn't he ask someone who saw it happen?
(ROCKS SHIFTING)
K9!
(BLEEPING)
Must remember to give Romana hers.
"The conditions existing on the planet Magla
"make it incapable of supporting any life form."
Ha, ha, ha!
He obviously doesn't realise the planet Magla
is an 8,000-mile-wide amoeba that's grown a crusty shell.
He does know.
Good evening.
You'll forgive me if I don't rise. It's...
(DOCTOR CHUCKLES)
Doctor!
(EXPLOSION)
(ROMANA SCREAMING)
(WHISTLING)
I must say how grateful I am to you charming people.
I repeat how grateful I am to you charming people.
You lifted that column off me as though it were a matchstick.
I can't think for the life of me where you keep your muscles.
It is an essential qualification that all crew members are in peak condition.
Oh, I see, yes. Part of their training, is it?
Well, excuse me.
Well, I told you a little bit about myself. What about you?
- What's this planet called, by the way? - You don't know?
No, I had a little trouble with my direction equipment.
- You made a forced landing? - Yes, well, something of the sort.
Not a world one would visit from choice.
No.
The planet is listed in our star catalogue
as D5 Gamma Z Alpha.
Well, that's not much help.
See, I'm terribly old-fashioned. I prefer names.
I believe the planet is called Skaro.
- Skaro? Good god! - You know it?
- What are you doing here? - The nature of our mission is secret.
- You'll understand, I'm sure. - No, I don't understand.
Why are you here on Skaro?
(RUMBLING)
Do not move! Do not move!
You are our prisoner!
Do not move!
You are our prisoner!