What a cozy little house!
I'll be safe here for sure!
I finally found my home, sweet home!
Oh, there you are, Letty.
Welcome home!
"A Home with Falls"
My, you're finally awake.
Wait, uh... Who are you?
My apologies. My name is...
Are you quite all right?
Oh! Yep, I'm fine!
Thank you for rescuing me.
My name is Letty.
I was told there was a "capable elf architect" in this area.
And that is why you are here? What a coincidence.
I am the elf for whom you search.
I am Dearia the Architect.
"Loading..."
Hello? Are you still with me?
Oh, dear.
"Load complete"
Please find me a home!
It would be my pleasure.
Though you do have a plethora of options.
Would you like to build your own home, purchase an existing home,
or rent from a property owner?
O-Oh, right, I have options!
I am both a registered architect and a licensed real estate agent,
so come at me, bro. He's so cool!
Here's my card.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, I see here you're a...
"Demon Lord"
Demon Lord?
Yes, that is one of my occupations as well.
Wow... Is he the Demon Lord of real estate?
That's so cool! You're awesome!
Let us get started, then.
Might I ask what kind of home you're interested in?
Of course! So, uh...
I want a cozy little cottage!
I'm not sure a cozy cottage could accommodate someone of your size.
I fully intend to respect your wishes,
but a simple design like this would be rather lax on security.
"- Cozy - Little - Dragons? Nope"
If a Hero party stumbled upon your home, you would be as good as dead.
Heroes again...
You mean there're more of those meanies out there?
Yes, many more. Plenty of them are, dare I say it, the epitome of cringe.
I kinda feel bad for humanity.
Whereas hunters are specialized in hunting down non-humans...
Quest complete! Whereas hunters are specialized in hunting down non-humans...
Heroes are bloodthirsty killing machines.
They rob, murder, and pillage, and even assist with political coups.
There isn't enough time in the day to detail every last one of their crimes.
I'm sure going into those details would be of no help to you,
so let us start with a tour.
A tour of where?
A dwelling the Heroes call a "dungeon."
One you may be able to call home.
"Today, you are a beautiful fountain!"
What kind of spell is that?
Whoa, it's huge!
Is this all one temple?
This is a 27-year-old structure built to resemble ancient temples.
Wait, back up. How did we get here?
A basic teleportation spell.
This property was built for powerful inhabitants
and possesses a number of anti-Hero countermeasures.
The owner recently approached me about selling the property.
If you find it to your liking, I recommend placing an offer today.
This seems kinda big for me...
Dragons like you do require larger accommodations.
Th-This is a lot of space for just one person.
Do watch your step.
If you happen to activate a trap...
"WAAAUGH!"
If you happen to activate a trap...
"WAAAUGH!"
you'll find yourself falling.
Oh, dear, I should have mentioned that earlier.
"B1F"
Mister Dearia, what is wrong with this place?
Nothing. It is a subterranean dungeon equipped with anti-Hero traps.
"You Are Here"
This residence consists of four floors,
None aboveground and the rest underground.
In order to protect the first-floor living quarters,
the rest of the structure is built like an antlion pit,
dropping would-be intruders deeper into the basement levels.
"You Are Here"
I'm pleased to say that most Heroes who enter this structure do not exit it.
Since we're here, why don't we go ahead and explore the dungeon a bit?
Can we not?
Have no fear. Resurrection spells happen to be one of my specialties.
I'd rather not have to be resurrected in the first place!
First, let us open this door.
By placing the correct shape in the depression...
Yeah, yeah, this is pretty easy!
You'll fall into a trap.
"WHY?" Why?
"B2F"
You're wonderfully obedient, Letty.
Thanks.
What's the deal with this one?
These are braziers.
By lighting them in the correct order, a drawbridge will descend.
I know he's just trying to get me to fall into another trap!
Well, I'm not gonna be "obedient" for him this time! I'm not that dumb!
Why didn't you light them in order?
You big meanie!
Let's take a look at the third basement floor.
Hey, Mister Dearia?
"B3F"
We've steadily descended, haven't we?
Though that descent was mostly rapid and unexpected.
Uh, Dearia? Can we pause for a sec?
Of course. Let's have ourselves a little break, then.
As it so happens, there is a healing spring right over here.
Whoa!
Wait, couldn't Heroes use this to heal themselves?
Not to worry.
It's equipped with sensors that detect intruders and flush them away.
Wait, what?
I'm gonna drown!
How was your experience?
Now I know how dead goldfish feel.
Where would I have ended up, anyway?
There are some things you're better off not knowing.
Eep!
That concludes my demonstration of this structure's anti-Hero traps.
Now we move on to the obstacle course that leads back to the first floor.
Do give it your all.
What is this, a training arc?
I guess I don't want to go back the way we came, though...
Fine! I'll do it!
Up I go!
My word, Letty!
Yes?
I suppose flying up there would be quite uncouth, wouldn't it?
Uncouth. That's totally it.
Don't look down, don't look down...
Don't look down, I'm not looking down...
How the hell do we get out of here?
Whoa, look at that!
It's a dragon! And it's climbing the wall!
Rare mats ahoy!
Don't let it get away!
You don't gotta tell me twice!
Stop right there.
You will not get in his way.
Who the hell are you?
What's an elf doing down here?
Who cares! Attack!
I got 'im!
I believe I told you...
not to get in his way.
Don't look down, don't look down...
Not looking down, no, not looking down...
I finally made it.
Remarkable effort, Letty.
Dearia!
Letty.
You've done very well.
Oh, Dearia!
Would you like to make an offer on this property?
No, thank you.
I don't think I could live in a house full of pitfalls and traps.
After that tour, Letty's muscles were sore for days.
Owie, owie...
Are you quite all right, Letty?
Yeah. My muscles are feeling a lot less sore.
But I really don't want to fall in any more traps.
Not to worry. Our next property has no traps installed whatsoever.
What's this one like?
How do I put this...
Heroes will never go near it.
It's the perfect bachelor pad.
If you choose to live there, you'll never feel lonely.
Wow! That sounds great!
It was built over 200 years ago, but it still has a lot of life left in it.
Though it will require a few renovations.
That's totally fine! Let's go!
This place looks kinda haunted, doesn't it?
Oh, it is haunted.
Okay, next house.
Now, now.
Before you make a hasty judgment, you should take a quick tour.
I don't wanna!
This place really fits the bill for "haunted mansion"...
Think of it as a promising fixer-upper.
Wait for me!
I-Is this place really haunted?
Yes, absolutely.
Why do you keep emphasizing that?
Sellers must provide prospective buyers with all pertinent disclosures.
D-Disclosures?
If there are defects in the property to be purchased,
the seller must disclose those defects to the buyer.
So basically, you have to tell them if it's haunted.
Correct. That, and...
And what?
Death is just a part of living. Here, I mean.
Thanks for the reminder!
Exorcism won't get rid of them, either.
Now, they say a picture paints a thousand words,
so we're going to spend the night here tonight.
What?
I've had a bed prepared for you, Letty.
You went all-out!
Oh, before I forget.
If you run into trouble, please make use of this vacuum cleaner.
Wait, what do you mean, run into trouble?
Press R to activate the Strobulb.
Uh, Dearia?
You'll also need this ink ribbon and typewriter.
How am I supposed to use those?
Just look it up.
You're really freaking me out, here!
No matches...
I wish I had a lamp...
I'll be staying in the next room over, Letty.
What? No, c-come back!
Sweet dreams.
H-How am I supposed to have sweet dreams in this creepy place?
Dearia!
Forgive me, I forgot to give you these healing items.
You could've just knocked!
It's so dark and scary.
C'mon, sun! Hurry up and rise already!
Wh-What?
Th-That scared the heck outta me! Guess it was just a picture falling.
Nope, someone's there!
Dearia!
Huh?
Where's the door?
Where is the next room over?
Dearia!
O-Oh, no, is something following me?
I-I saw a ghost!
Wait, what? The camera switched to first-person view?
Now it's even scarier!
And it's pitch-black in here!
How am I supposed to see?
Excuse me.
Yes?
Please, take this.
Oh, thank you.
Thank goodness. Now I've got a light to...
Wait, who gave it to me?
Don't worry about it, don't worry about it...
No thoughts, head empty.
I just gotta find Dearia...
Gosh, is it dark...
Someone definitely died here!
Going this way is gonna be a bad idea!
I wish I could turn back, but...
There's more of them!
I've gotta go through here!
Huh?
Letty? Letty?
Please wake up.
Wakey wakey.
Dearia?
And he's out again.
Perhaps this was a bit much for him.
Now, now, this is how we like to welcome our visitors.
I hardly imagined dragons could be so delicate.
You were welcoming me?
Good morning, dear Letty.
Forgive the late introduction. This is the property owner, Lord Samuel.
He reigned over these lands 200 years ago.
When I told him you'd like to tour,
he went all-out to arrange this welcome party for you.
These wraiths and ghouls are his loyal retainers.
They decided to put together a little spooky experience for you to enjoy.
A little?
Whatever is the matter, Letty? This is prime real estate.
So, uh, what makes it so "prime," then?
First and foremost, Heroes will not bother you here.
The items found in this mansion are of no value to them at all.
Coins too old to be used for trade, expired potions, broken swords.
Wraiths and ghouls don't drop valuable materials, either.
No Hero would waste their time exploring and looting this place.
Oh.
That, and with the ghosts keeping a constant watch on the property,
you never need to worry about security, and you'll never be lonely.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Then I shall rally my retainers and leave, if that would ease your worries.
Oh, no, I couldn't...
It's quite all right.
We'll retreat to our graves in the backyard.
If you need anything, just holler!
Why wasn't this defect disclosed?
The property has a special going on right now.
Huh? What kind of special?
If you purchase today, all of the ghouls squatting on the property will stay.
We've got your back!
No, thank you!
What's happening? Stop! Put me down!
What a nostalgic sight. What's happening? Stop! Put me down!
Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!
I would agree.
Back when blood still flowed through my veins, when we first met,
I believe you were traveling with another dragon.
That is correct.
Perhaps that is why I have a soft spot for dragons in particular.
A Demon Lord with a soft spot!
D-Dearia... Please help.
My, my.
One moment, please.
Hey, Dearia?
Yes?
I-I think I need a home where I can relax a little easier.
That's not gonna happen if I'm surrounded by dead people...
Aww.
Understandable. Aww.
I'll ensure our next property is somewhere the dead wouldn't dare haunt.
Maybe ensure it's somewhere the living would want to haunt.
Y-You have a lovely home, but I'm afraid it's not for me.
That's quite all right. Everyone must find the home that is right for them.
Goodbye, then.
Sir Dragon!
Safe travels to you!
Thank you!
Lord Samuel looked scary, but he's a nice guy on the inside!
He's so cool!
I would agree.
He was betrayed by a close friend and driven off his lands.
He and his hundred retainers then committed suicide and turned into wraiths,
who descended upon the land and slaughtered every being living upon it.
What an incredible man.
In the end, Letty decided wraiths were scary.
I'm too scared to get up and pee!
"Elf Housing Realty"
You're concerned about ghosts haunting your rental property?
If the previous resident met with an unfortunate demise,
then the unit becomes a "stigmatized property,"
and real estate agents must disclose this information to potential buyers.
If I'd known, I wouldn't have signed the contract!
This is known as a "duty to disclose."
"Duty to Disclose" This is known as a "duty to disclose."
Interestingly, in countries where old housing is abundant,
prospective buyers do not care about the previous owner's manner of death,
even preferring properties that are, indeed, haunted.
Next time, "My First Home."