Hello. I'm R.L. Stine. I write the Goosebumps books.
You're not R.L. Stine. I am.
- Oh, yeah? - Who's working your head?
You look almost lifelike. Thanks for the compliment.
But I'm the real R.L. Stine. Really?
If you're R.L. Stine, what is today's story?
It's Night of the Living Dummy III.
It's about an evil dummy that comes to life.
What a crazy idea.
Sit back and enjoy the story, everyone.
Was that okay? You were a little stiff.
Trina.
Hello?
Hello. Who's there?
Trina.
All right. Who is it?
Trina.
Whoever this is, you're not funny.
Go, Trina. You shouldn't be here.
It's past your bedtime.
Come off it, Daniel. I know it's you.
You can't disguise your voice from me. Trina?
I heard some bumping in the hallway. Was that you?
Oh, no.
It's Dad. Huh.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, guys.
- Got ya. - No, you didn't. We weren't scared at all.
Oh, yeah?
I can still do it. Can I throw my voice or what?
Pretty amazing, Dad, but can you do it in stereo?
- I'm working on it. - What's with the suitcase?
Oh, you guys are gonna love this.
- Where'd you find him? - At a junk store.
- The guy practically gave him to me. - Yeah. I'm not surprised.
Hey, are you kidding?
Slappy here is an antique. This is a dummy with class.
Slappy, what happened to your face? It's your bad jokes.
They crack me up.
I thought I heard gremlins in the attic.
- Dad brought home a new addition to our family. - Another mouth to polish.
You're home from your trip early. I thought you were coming home tomorrow morning.
Uh, well, I thought I should be here when Zane arrives.
- Zane's coming? - Oh, great.
- Now, come on. He is your cousin. - That's not our fault.
Yeah, why do we get punished for it?
You weren't even gonna tell us he was coming.
It was supposed to be a surprise.
We figured it would give you less time for your tricks.
Like dad's trick tonight? Oh, now, hey, there's a difference.
You know, you and your brother can take a joke, but Zane can't.
So for the next three days, I want you on your best behavior, all right?
- And no practical jokes. - Come on, dad. That's the only way to have fun with Zane.
Yeah, right. And after Zane's last trip here, he was afraid to sleep in his bed for weeks.
You have to admit it was pretty funny.
No. Not to Zane it wasn't. Come on, you guys.
Zane is gonna be your guest, not your hostage,
so I want you to promise: No tricks at Zane's expense.
All right. We promise.
Yeah. Okay.
What's this? Oh, I guess Slappy comes with his own business card.
What's it say?
"Karru marri odonna loma
Molonu karrano."
Uh-oh. Guess the glue didn't hold.
Back to bed, guys.
Come on. Let's get a move on. Zane's gonna be here first thing in the morning.
You coming, Danny?
- Uh, in a second, honey. - Okay. Don't be too long.
Okay, honey.
Now.
Good as new.
Morning. Good morning.
We, uh, making any money?
Enough to keep the wolves from the door.
Daniel, can you pass me the cereal?
Daniel?
We thought you'd like some company at breakfast.
- Isn't one dummy at the table enough? - Do you want a cracked face?
Hi, Slappy.
Dad, you did a good job of gluing him back.
That's right. I should've been a surgeon, hmm?
Oh, honey, I think I've done myself an injury.
- I cut my thumb off. - Dad.
- I cut my thumb off.
You know, I really don't know why you have to leave me here.
I mean, if you wanted to torture me, couldn't you find something a bit more humane?
- Hey. - I have nothing in common with these peop...
They're your cousins, Zane. That's not my fault.
You could try to show a little more enthusiasm.
What's that on your shirt? Hi, Zane. Hi, Aunt Patty.
Great to see you. That's a great shirt. Oh, thank you.
Dear. I have something for you.
Hi, Trina. Hi, Dan. Daniel.
- Okay. - Good to see you.
- So... - So...
So, you don't have to worry about that old cow.
- Died. - Oh, well, that's good.
So, um, are you going to camp this summer?
Yeah. It should be really, uh, cool.
Oh, well, uh, that's great.
- What's with the camera? - Oh, didn't you hear? I'm a photographer now.
Oh. I've won awards and everything. It's really great.
Ow! Daniel!
- That'll be an award winner. - Get in there!
Let's get one of you two together.
Okay.
Ruffle your hair a bit. Ah, beautiful. Beautiful.
Cross your arms and maybe lean a bit to that side.
Ah, beautiful. You're happening. You're here. Great stuff.
Hey, wait. Wait. Get one of me by myself.
- All right. Okay. - Oh, wait. I think I gotta sneeze.
Here, get this one.
Conquering your fears?
- Hey. - Is there a problem with that?
- No. Not at all. - Right, Daniel?
Yeah. Right. Yeah.
- I hate dummies. - Nonsense.
Dummies are fun. Look who I married.
Slappy, here we go.
Okay, Slappy. Say hello to your cousin.
Hello, coz. What's his name?
His name is Zane.
Well, I guess that's better than being "inzane."
Help me! No, no! Help me! Help me!
No, no, no, no! Help! Help!
Help me, please!
Zane. Help me! No, no!
Let go of me! Help! Help! Help!
It was gonna kill me, Auntie Patty.
- It was really gonna kill me. - It's all right. All right.
All right. Who did this?
Don't look at me. It's Daniel's mask.
Hey. Cool. Snow.
- All right. - Take that smile off your face. This is not funny.
What's going on? As if you didn't know.
No, I don't know. Why don't you tell me?
You know very well that you put Rocky in Zane's room.
I did not. They hate me.
- No one hates you, Zane. - Hardly anyone.
- Hey. If you didn't, who did, Mr. Wiseacre? - Who do you think?
- You're nuts. He's such a liar. - Yeah, right.
Next time you wanna play a trick, leave my stuff alone.
Okay, Daniel. Now you're in trou... Mom, listen, why would...
Enough. Enough.
Why don't you take them downstairs, give 'em some ice cream or something.
- All right. Sounds good to me. - Don't even think about it.
- The two of you are going to clean up this mess. - No, Dad.
Come on. Right now. Come on.
Dad, no. I didn't. Go on. Go on. Go on.
We'll, uh... We'll talk about your punishment later.
How come they're like that, Aunt Patty? They love to play jokes on me.
I don't know, Zane. Do you like chocolate sundaes? Yeah.
With sprinkles? Oh, yeah.
And gooey red stuff? Mm-hmm.
Comin' through. Look out.
Don't just move the dirt around. Pick it up!
Why don't you get on your broom and fly away?
Ah. Hi.
I-I'm sorry that I got you guys in trouble.
What can I say? My brother's a jerk.
She did it and she knows it, but I'm sorry you got scared.
Yeah. Well, uh,
I-I really shouldn't get scared so easily.
M-my dad and I are-are trying to work on it.
It really was kind of funny
in-in a twisted sort of way.
I'm gonna go develop those pictures.
If you'd like, I'll show you how it's done.
Sure. Okay. Come on.
I just swept those stairs.
Don't the negatives go up here now?
You gotta put all the negatives together first to make a proof sheet...
So you know which ones are worth blowing up.
Uh, sorry, Zane. Dad doesn't let us blow up things anymore.
Just ignore him.
Uh, there we go.
And you grab this like that.
Slide it in there.
And we wait.
I look kind of pale.
- It gets darker. - Oh. Okay.
Wait a second. That's me. But who's that?
Look at this.
What? Why'd you guys do this?
- Thanks a lot, you guys. - Zane?
No, really. Thanks a lot.
Zane. Zane.
- Oh, man! - We didn't do it!
Be quiet! Please be quiet.
This is just great.
Now Zane's afraid to develop his own pictures, thanks to our charming children.
Mm-hmm. It wasn't bad enough they took his camera without asking.
They made fun of his photography, the one thing he's so proud of.
Mm-hmm.
- Are you listening to me? - Are you listening to her?
- Danny. - Yes, I'm listening to you.
Look, Zane needs a confidence boost, and I know how to give it to him.
Well, we scoured the bathrooms. We weeded the garden.
We washed the windows and we set the table. Are we done yet?
- Did you dredge the moat? - We don't have a moat.
Oh. Well, then I guess you're done.
Why are you so sure that it was both of us?
What if only one of us did it? Then you could be punishing an innocent person.
- Somehow I doubt that. - Yeah, well, all I know is I didn't do it.
- Well, I know I didn't do it. - Oh, yeah. Right.
Excuse me... Stop.
Stop. Now, breathe in.
And breathe out.
So we're both guilty until proven innocent? Isn't this a democracy?
- No. - - Not unless your father and I say so.
Zane. Zane.
What's up?
I was thinking that if I taught you something about these dummies,
you might start to have some fun with them.
- I-I guess. - Do you think that this is a good idea?
That's very good, hon. I didn't see your lips move or anything.
Zane, come on. Sit down.
Listen, do we have to do this?
Lighten up, Zane. This isn't the inquisition.
I'm sure Dad could even teach you how to like dummies.
Zane, ventriloquism has been going on for hundreds of years.
These dummies are supposed to entertain people.
Now, you keep your lips a little bit apart, okay?
And you have to learn how to control all the muscles in your mouth.
That's right, and you also have to learn new ways to make sounds.
Which just goes to show you
there's nothing scary about a dummy.
Okay. Dinner's ready. What would everyone like to drink?
- Well, what do we have? - Ow! He kicked me.
- Who-who kicked you? - The-the dummy. The dummy kicked me.
Well, Zane, that's just not possible.
- What did you do? - I didn't do anything.
I hate this place. Zane. Zane. Wait.
- Wait. Zane. Zane. - Come back here.
Let's just forget about these dummies.
Look, everyone in this family cares very much for you.
We really do. Now, let's just calm down and go into dinner.
This meal is in your honor, so you can't just leave. Right?
Please? For me, your sweet Aunt Patty?
Well, okay. Okay. Good. Come on.
- Wait till you see what I've done for you. - Oh, no.
Good... What happened here?
Mom?
Dad?
Don't jump to conclusions. Why would...
- Not another word. - We'll just clean this up,
we'll have dinner, and then we'll talk about it when we're able to control ourselves.
Honey.
Honey? At least we still have the roast.
Mm-hmm. Oh, no!
Oh! My roast!
I'll make sure you don't touch my dummies.
I can't begin to imagine what you were thinking.
- I wasn't. - Obviously not.
That's not what I meant.
We have given you every punishment in the book, and there's only one left.
And it's really too bad, because we know you both wanted to go to camp this summer.
What?
That's not fair. I didn't do it.
And what is it that you're saying? That the dummies did it?
That they got up on their own and they went downstairs?
Well?
- So neither of you is gonna confess. - There's nothing to confess.
- Daniel. - I didn't do it.
Okay.
Fine.
- You can both forget about going to summer camp. - Dad.
You liar! It was you. Get off me. Ow.
It wasn't enough for you to ruin Zane's life; You have to ruin mine too?
Nice try, but I've been hiding up here all night to see who's been messing with the dummies.
Oh, and look who showed up. Trina.
You little creep. You're still trying to pin this on me.
Yeah, well, it wasn't... Shh! Someone's coming.
Oh. What a great weekend this is.
Is that Zane? What?
Zane.
They thought I was afraid of you?
Let's see. Um, I think we'll put you in the shower,
and, uh, yeah, we'll hang you outside my bedroom window.
After this trip, Trina and Daniel will never mess with me again.
Looks like Zane's been a naughty boy.
- Uh, what? - Ha, ha. Poor, scared little Zane.
- Wait. No. I-I have to explain. - Oh, yeah. Sure.
So, you wanna be a prankster, do ya, Zane?
Well, let me show you how the pros do it.
Yeah. Except, I do hate to work alone.
Well, Rocky, are you ready to have some real fun?
Sure, sure. Whatever you say, boss.