Magnesium-J. Hydrogen-F. Father.
I am ready to rejoin my brethren on Alphabetrium.
Very well. Your exile ends today.
Welcome home, Water-T.
The Numbericons! They're attacking!
Battle stations!
Divide and conquer! Zero survivors!
Aah! Father!
Son... take this thing.
It's a prophecy or some shit.
I'm dying.
Peace.
Water-T, where are you going?
There's too many of them.
Then I better crunch the numbers.
Aah!
He's too dope! Retreat!
Oh, shit! He's crunching the numbers.
I thought he was talking about taxes,
but he's crunching us.
I'ma deduct your ass.
Aah!
They activated the Brackets Shield.
We can't pull up. Somebody kiss me.
I don't want to die not knowing love! No!
Sorry I'm late. I had to go pee.
Yo, what do you know about this?
The "I" of Harmony.
It holds some secret power,
but it's in a language nobody can read.
You don't gotta read shit, Lithium-P.
It's math. Careful, T.
They won't like that kind of number talk at the palace.
We're not going to the palace. We're going to Earth. Why?
You know a math expert there?
Unfortunately, I do.
In conclusion, without math
planes wouldn't fly and elephants would forget.
What is that sound?
Who is using air buds to listen to rap music?
Sorry, Mr. Goldenfold. Detention!
Class dismissed early so Morty can have instant detention.
Student #1: Aw, no! Student #2: Are you serious?
I want to learn! I want to add and stuff.
Geez, Mr. Goldenfold,
it's just a little hip hop.
It helps me concentrate.
Rap will never help anyone do anything.
Some things never change.
Morty and Goldenfold: Ice-T?
Hey! Ice-T, it's me, Morty.
Remember me? "G-Get Schwifty"?
No. Aw.
And it's Water-T now.
I don't give an ass if you're Smokey Robinson.
You got the balls of a clown coming back to this school
without the homework you owe me.
Fuck your homework, old man.
My planet's at stake. Mr. Goldenfold,
you taught Ice-T math? I tried, Morty.
I sure the hell tried.
Without math, Russia would control all Rubik's Cubes.
Any questions?
Just one. Who gives a fuck?
I am a knight, walking,
back of class talking, homework scoffing,
blackboard chalking...
Look, man, I ain't here for memory lane shit.
I need this deciphered.
Hmm. Early Algebraic, possibly even Geometric.
Yo, English. I don't teach English, bitch!
And why would I do your homework?
You didn't do mine. 'Cause I had no home!
Now I do.
Help me save it.
Aah!
All Type Strikers, attack!
Kill the Son of Magma-Q!
I want his serifs.
You're coming with me, Goldenfold.
You better be taking me to your homework.
You're coming with me, Morty. Why?
It's called detention, not "releastion."
Sorry I'm late. I had to go pee.
I know. Well, there's new people.
I thought they'd like to hear about it. Yeah, yeah.
Just start the fucking ship.
I see the tales of your dopeness
have been greatly exaggerated.
Big talk from an upside down I.
I am Sinistar-7, and I am here to spill the T.
Then come get me, muthafucka!
She's got a Caps Lock!
And an ass to suck.
Hit the hyphen drive!
No. No!
Speak. Lord Dread Nought.
Water-T escaped with the "I" of Harmony.
Aah! The One of Harmony!
That's gotta hurt!
You're a number. Act like it.
Subtract Water-T from life and carry the One to me.
I won't let you down... Father.
Too late. Too late!
Oh! Oh, wow. Oh, I love my job.
The Pythagorean Theorem!
I just have to figure out
what A and B are,
square them both,
and then add them together.
Can you do it? If I do, I want my homework.
Fine!
Why do you guys hate each other so much?
Why do all teachers hate all students, Morty?
Because you all break our God damn hearts.
Just seems like there's more going on there.
Was he that bad at math?
No, Morty. Nobody is worse than you.
The hurtful thing about your friend back there
is that at one point, it seemed like he might learn.
I am a nightmare walking,
psychopath talking,
king of my jungle just a gangster stalk stalking.
Stalking. Fuck.
Look at all this non-scholastic depravity!
Reef-er, Cheetos,
and not a smidgen of homework in sight!
Yo, why you coming in here fuckin' up my words?
Uh, T, maybe you ought to go back to school.
You can't keep a beat to save your ass.
Damn. My dream just died.
Here. Follow this. It's called four-four time.
One, two, three, four.
Two, two, three —
I am a nightmare walkin',
psychopath talkin'
king of my jungle just a gangster stalkin'...
Livin' life like a firecracker...
Yo, Chuck! It's Marvin!
Your cousin Marvin D? Hey.
Ya know that new sound you lookin' for?
Well, listen to this!
Ha! Got you again, mutha-fucker!
Wow. You think that guy's cousin would stop taking his calls.
That's not the point, Morty.
You included it in your story.
But I get it. You and T were actually friends.
So what went wrong?
Nice try, Morty.
You think that if I connect with you,
I'll let you out of detention?
Well, you can forget it! I'm all about boundaries now.
Boundaries! I got it! Beep boop bop beep beep.
What is it? It's a map.
A squared is the length of the galaxy.
B squared is the height.
So C squared takes you directly to...
Planet E-10?
Ain't E-10 supposed to be
where God created letters or some shit?
That's just a story we tell lowercase letters at bedtime.
Maybe there's more to it. Why bedtime?
What? He — He said it was a story
you told lowercase letters at bedtime.
Y-You never tell the story during the day?
I guess I just hoped the phrase "bedtime"
would make it easier to understand
that lowercase letters are our version of children.
Oh, so you did that for me?
Well, half the people here are human.
I didn't want to exclude you.
We would have figured out it was children. Yeah.
Lowercase means smaller. We get it.
Feels like I'm being punished for clarity.
Punished? Jesus. I asked a question.
So did Hitler. What the fuck is going on?
Somebody set up a call or some shit.
We need to send word to Alphabetrium.
Oxygen-S, we deciphered the "I" of Harmony
and we're headed to E-10.
That's incredible, Water-T.
Give me your coordinates. I'll send help immediately.
Word.
Happy to serve, my lord.
In quotes.
Secret villain!
Coming out of Helvetica Light Speed
and approaching Planet E-10.
God damn. Maybe it knows it's home.
What the math is happening?
Die, Letter scum!
Aah!
I'm sick and tired of this bullshit.
Yo, 7! Count this!
Three-zus Christ!
Typical letter, acting on emotion.
You're welcome for saving your numbery-ass!
I won't let you take me alive!
Have it your way.
If you're going to act like ignorant children,
I guess the teacher's in charge.
And, young lady, whoever told you numbers can't be emotional
did you wrong.
On Earth, numbers get down.
Sometimes even with letters.
Disgusting! Uh-huh.
See? That's what everyone says.
But then they go home and they type
all kinds of shit into Pornhub.
Scribble! Jot jot!
Uh-oh! W-We're surrounded by primitive googas.
Okay. The primitive googas worship the glowing thing.
Things don't always resolve this fast.
We're making good time.
Scribble! Jot jot! Doodle! Doodle!
We can't understand you.
Obviously, they want to take us to their village
for an Ewok party.
Damn, making really good time.
This tribe claims the artifact
comes from a religious site not far from here.
Awful nice of you to help.
I'm simply following the rules of war as your prisoner.
Or maybe you're hoping if you're nice,
I'll let my guard down so you can take the "I."
How dare you! I'm not a seductress.
I am a warrior.
And that's not an "I." It's a one.
It's an "I."
You guys don't get out much, huh?
It seems kind of obvious that these Scribbles
are like the original species
that letters and numbers came from.
So that relic thing probably isn't a one or an "I."
I-It's probably just, like, a line.
It's symbolic of the fact that your people
don't need to be at war.
How do I know you again? Get Schwifty.
It's still nothing. So mind your damn business.
At least we agree on that.
Looks like your detention is officially over.
Why? You finally learned how hard it is to teach.
No, I didn't. Then you... learned
how hard it is to learn. I already knew.
Just go to bed, you ungrateful shit!
Cock a doodle! Cock a doodle two!
The "I," it's gone!
That bitch! 7 took the "I."
Come on, Mr. Goldenfold. Count me out, Morty.
I'm tired of helping that son of a bitch.
Seriously? Feels like there's a deeper beef
than missing homework here.
What really happened?
It was the summer of 1991...
Any friend of Ice-T is welcome in my home.
And as governor, I can't wait to add
that math wing to Harry Herpson High School, Mr. Goldenfold.
And I shall put it to good use, sir!
Of course you will. More baby potatoes?
God damn, I love rap.
And the Grammy award for Rap Artist of the Year goes to...
Ice-T!
Yo, I just want to thank my words,
the letters that made them,
and that's it!
Nothing else. Peace!
I thought you said he'd thank math.
There must be some mistake.
Try a different channel. The mistake was believing
you even knew Ice-T and could get me
that math-loving youth vote.
Now get out of here!
I got a God damn presidential campaign to start.
After that, my dreams faded away like so many erections.
I mean, that sucks, but let's stop Sinistar-7,
and maybe you two sort this out on the way home?
Hmm. Pretty sound logic.
And logic is a part of math!
Whatever. Come on.
If you're pregnant. That's my cell number.
I know you can't read it,
but it's important I made an effort.
Nice try. How dare you!
Shit, I think when we started getting it on
that amulet showed us the truth of our origins.
Father! Hell, yeah.
We're into the same sick shit, huh?
No. My father. He's here.
W-What's that? Emperor Dread Nought.
The fate of the Alphabetrians is at hand.
Magma-Q's legacy ends here.
How the fuck did he find us?
Oxygen-S: Betrayal reveal!
You appear displeased to see me, Prince Water-T.
Cold-ass mutha-fucker, you in league with Dread Nought?
How could you do us Letters dirty like that, S?
My true name is not S.
On Numbericonia they call me...
8!
8? Oh, my God, he's a number?
Did you know?
I didn't. Holy shit!
I'm not even supposed to be here today.
It's my day off. For real.
That's how much I like working with these people!
Good thing your father
isn't alive to see you fail.
He'd be so disappointed.
Mutha-fucker, I'm gonna shoot you in the dick.
Ha! I would like to see you try.
Villain exit.
Thanks for dragging me across the universe
to be killed, Water-T.
No homework-doing, mother-grabbin...
You want to go, old man?
I'll fuck you till you love me.
I'll put your kids through college.
I'll fucking take you to Boca Raton, you motherfucker!
Ease up, Water-T.
After all, y-you did betray Goldenfold
by, uh, not thanking math at the Grammys, I guess.
That's what you think happened?
Nah, G-Folds, it went like this.
Didja listen to my album, Pop?
It's nominated for a Grammy
Yes. I heard your album.
What is this four-four time, rhythm nonsense?
It's disgusting!
You're a number-loving traitor
who doesn't care about anything but himself.
I... I never knew.
You never asked.
Here... Father.
The destiny of the Numbericons is mine to claim!
Everyone has to watch while I do it too.
How does this thing work again?
Allow me, my lord.
Hold up. You're just gonna let
this motherfucker —
Aah!
I don't get it.
The ultimate power
of the universe is finally mine!
Hey! I am the ruler of the Numbericons.
The dead rule nothing!
Aah! Father! No!
Your father was a bitch.
You shall be my general now!
Well, he was a bad father.
I am Infinity,
omnipotent god of numbers!
And I have a world of Letters to destroy!
I guess he doesn't need the ship anymore.
He doesn't need the ship anymore, guys!
You heard Infinity. Move out!
Whoo-hoo! Alright!
We could have had something.
It was a mistake, T.
Letters and Numbers can never be.
What do we do? He's going to destroy Alphabetrium!
Whatever. I don't care anymore.
Damn, T. That's cold.
Exactly.
Whoa! God damn.
You do remember our adventure!
Not really.
Wow! Dope shit, T!
If we don't stop Infinity.
he's going to destroy Alphabetrium.
But that ooze-swamp put the kibosh on our spaceships.
M-Maybe we can pull it out and upgrade it
using parts of the Numbers' ship.
Oh, the googas already did it.
Wow, you guys work fast.
Scribble! Scribble!
Damn, it's like the Glyph Jumper, but extreme.
The Glyph Jumper Extreme is rad!
Let's go home and bust a cap in Infinity's ass.
Wait, let me go pee first.
That way, when we get there, I'll get to say —
Well, I'm not gonna spoil it.
Death to all Letters!
Neither upper nor lower case will survive this day!
The Brackets Shield has fallen!
It's an utter apostrophe!
Aah!
I am bigger than Letters.
I am bigger than Numbers.
My balls are huge,
and everyone can suck my dick!
Stop! You're killing Numbers!
My lord, this is too far!
Are you still fucking talking?
Here's a number for you, lady.
86 that ass! You're fired!
Yo, suck this, bitch!
Aah!
Yo, T. Is that your girl?
That's twice I saved your ass.
Infinity's gone mad with power.
He's killing every one...
and every two and every three and every —
We get it. I was wrong to join him
and wrong to leave you, Water-T.
Infinity killed both our fathers.
Nuh-uh. I was there. Ceiling fell on him.
Ha! Father!
That ceiling was poisoned.
Oxygen-S planned Magma-Q's assassination for months.
All my life, I've served such negative numbers.
This kid I don't know was right all along.
Finally! It's time for the Numbericons
to rise and join us.
How can we make the Numbericons rise up against him?
We'll inspire them.
Kill! Murder! Death!
You think you can stop me with rap, huh?
Father? You like a force ghost now?
The fuck it look like, son?
I came back to help you hand Infinity his ass.
You ready? Let's kill it, pops.
Arise, King Magma-T!
Oh, yeah. Whoa, damn!
My word! Water-T's spittin' straight fire!
He truly is king of Alphabetrium.
Infinity is too strong. Nothing can defeat him.
You think? How about this shit?
The "I" of Harmony!
Muthafuckers just left it.
How will that help us?
This thing loves when Letters and Numbers get down.
Come here, girl.
Mm!
Yeah. You like that, huh?
Hell, yeah!
You cannot stop me!
I'm infinitely infinite!
My fucking dick!
Thought I was lying, mutha-fucker?
Oh, Mr. Goldenfold, I love math!
And it loves you too, Morty.
I have to warn you, I'm a prime number.
I'm only divisible by myself.
Yeah, and my dick's magma now,
but we'll figure it out.
How is that math homework coming along, Morty?
I-It's great. It's — It's so great.
Do you mind if I do a second test,
you know, for — for fun? Ha! You're weird.
And what about you, sir?
There. All done.
Here's your god damn homework, old man. Happy?
More than you can possibly imagine.
King Magma-T, my people need you.
And who are you?
Ice Cube of the Geomitrons.
My planet getting all bent out of shape by the Formivores.
You Numbers and Letters strong enough
to fight them muthafuckers?
The warriors of Alpha-Numbericon
are unmatched in strength,
and we never refuse to help our brother in need.
Word. My smokeshow queen speaks truth.
I'll grab my shit and meet you out front.
Cool.
Did you get any of that?