All done. Dinner was delicious.
I don't believe you finished off your lima beans.
I'm an adult and most of mine are in my napkin.
What can I say? I love lima beans.
Are you sure you didn't make them magically disappear?
Aunt Zelda! I'm offended you would even ask me that question.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll clear.
A kid who likes lima beans?
Being a witch is just the tip of her weirdness.
There's still something fishy. Did you notice how she dodged my question?
Oh come on. Sabrina's not that cagey.
There's only one way to find out.
Remember that spell mom used to cast to make sure we'd eaten all out vegetables?
Oh I hated that spell!
Hated what spell?
This.
What's that all about?
A spell to bring back any lima beans you may have made disappear.
What! Get down!
I told you I hated that spell.
1x16. Mars Attracts
Ha! There.
What am I looking for again?
The Olympus Mons. It's the largest mountain in the solar-system.
I see a little bump.
Now can we spy on the neighbours?
No!
Now that little bump happens to be the best skiing on Mars,
and that's where we're going for our winter vacation.
We're going to Mars?
It's a trek, but it's worth it
Oh you'll love the red planet.
It's so pretty and the sky's pink.
So what are the Martians like?
Martians?
Aren't there Martians?
No. Jeez Sabrina, get in touch with reality.
So Louis the fourteenth was succeeded by another Louis who was known as...?
Any guesses?
Okay. I see winter break has already started.
Well I can't let you go before the bell, so just try to keep it quiet.
Hey Sabrina.
Louis the fifteenth.
No. What are you doing over vacation?
Oh, I'm going skiing with my aunts.
Out West?
Actually...
...North. How about you?
I'll be here.
In fact I was hoping you'd be here too so maybe we could do stuff.
Really? I wish I had known. I love doing stuff.
This trips not gonna be any fun. I mean...
I don't even know how to ski.
You could take lessons.
Oh great! So I get to study on my vacation.
Come on, you'll have a blast,
and I'll see you in...
five days?
Six.
Man, six days.
Well I'd better go catch my bus.
I guess this is it.
See ya.
Wow!
I just don't understand why other kids get to stay home...
and I have to go on a ski vacation?
You were so excited about it last night?
Yeah, well a lots changed since then.
I mean just today Harvey asked me if I wanted to do stuff.
Well there'll be plenty of stuff left to do when we get back.
Why don't you guys go and I'll stay home with Salem?
Hey, the whole point of a family vacation is...
so I can get a vacation from the family.
Please, I need some down time.
Well that's the end of the discussion. You're going and that's that.
Fine. I'll go to Mars but I won't have any fun.
Do what you want but I think you're over reacting.
I mean it's not like you're never going to see Harvey ever again.
Huh! Here he is now!
Don't you love when things like that happen in real life?
Hey! Hi.
I hope it's okay I stopped by.
Sure! Your timings perfect.
My aunts were just about to...
take naps. My aunts were just about to...
take naps.
Oh. Right
So tired.
Oh I hope I can make it up the stairs.
Come on in.
So what's up?
I'm not gonna waste your time with small talk.
You're going skiing and you can't afford to lose your mittens so I got you these.
They're called Mitten Minders.
You string them through your jacket.
My little brother swears by 'em.
That's so thoughtful...
and stretchy. Thanks.
Anyway. I'm got to get the car back to my mom.
Hey. Maybe I could call you from the lodge.
Let you know how the mitten minders are working.
Really? I'd like that.
I'd like that a lot.
Well when should I call?
Tonight... around nine?
Okay.
Ah creak! Oh these old homes are so creaky.
Well you'd better get going.
Yeah. Er have a great trip.
Thanks again.
You're welcome.
Bye.
See ya.
Sorry! I got caught up in the moment.
Come on Sabrina!
Mars is waiting!
Is that all you're bringing?
We've got these.
Now Salem, you have the number of the lodge in case you need to reach us.
And we left you plenty of food.
Don't eat it all on one day.
Oh right, I forgot I'm an animal. I have no self control.
And no parties while we're gone.
I'll cancel the black and white ball.
Well, then I guess we're off.
Bye! Have fun!
Miss you!
A party! Why didn't I think of that?
Watch your step. These stairs are a little icy.
The whole lodge is a little icy.
Isn't it beautiful?
And it's the perfect time of year.
At the end of the season the rooms get a little slushy.
What's that?
A volcano.
Wow! There she blows.
I'll just get an energy bar and then I think I'll hit the slopes.
I think I'll hit the couch.
Aren't you going skiing?
Oh. I don't ski, I lodge.
All I need is a stack of magazines.
And some catalogues.
And Tolstoy's classic 'War and Peace'
I think I'll read that last.
So when does the family part of this family vacation begin?
We'll all meet for dinner.
Well what am I supposed to do until then?
Well we thought you'd wanna hang out with people your age.
All the people my age are on another planet.
I'm calling Harvey.
Oh you can't.
Mars is in a time zone that's so far ahead of earth it's still yesterday there.
If you call Harvey, he'll explode.
This stinks. I'm going to my room.
She'll find the Tobleron in the mini-bar and be fine.
Well, enjoy your day.
Enjoy yours.
Ah I love this planet!
Oh! What a day.
I'm exhausted. Read me 'War and Peace'
Morning.
Are you going skiing again?
Yes. Are you reading magazines again?
Not today. I thought I'd take it easy.
Morning.
Did you sleep alright?
I slept fine. The only problem was I woke up here.
Cheer up.
I promise today will be more fun.
I'm going to get you a ski lesson.
Don't bother. My days mapped out.
I'm going to analyse you guys in my journal until nine
and then I'm calling Harvey. I'll be by the phones.
There's no sign of the policy holder yet.
But I will not rest until said policy holder has been found. Now I plan...
I can't talk. There's somebody here.
Erm. Okay! Goodbye! I love you!
No. I just said that to throw them off.
Yeah. You hang up.
Okay. It's all yours.
Thanks. But I wont be using it for another twelve hours.
Really? How very interesting.
February fifth... Again.
Are you Sabrina?
Yeah, but I'm kinda busy. So if you wouldn't mind waiting till I'm fin...
...ished. Period. Done! What did you want?
My names Doug.
Um your aunt Zelda just arranged for me to give you a ski lesson.
But she said you might not be up for it.
I don't know where she got that idea. I mean...
when in Mars.
I will be back in twelve hours wont I?
Unless you're really uncoordinated.
Well then, let's go.
Excuse me.
Do you mind if I sit over there?
Sure. It's a free planet.
Thank you.
I couldn't help but notice you from across the room there.
My name is Warren and I'm a very successful insurance salesman
and I am on an expense account you would not believe.
Oh please! You lodge lizards are all alike.
Look, we can chat
but not if you spend the next four days making up stories just to impress me.
-Oh well I would never make a...
-Let's make a pact. -Oh well I would never make a...
-Let's make a pact.
For once, two strangers meeting on vacation will be completely honest with each other.
Okay?
Okay, you got it.
Great.
I'm a secret agent.
What?
I'm here to sniff out a counter operative.
You're not it are you?
No.
Good, I'd hate to have to kill you.
So...
are you married?
What do I do? I've never skied before.
Ah you'll be great.
All set. You can ski.
Just like that?
It's a short lesson but pretty expensive.
Let's go. Follow me.
Hey, wait up! You're going too fast. I'm new at this.
How do I stop again?
How are you doing back there?
I'm doing fine.
So let me get this straight.
Your mission is to bring down Doctor Cyclops,
who through his ring of operatives is trying to destabilise the Balinese government.
Yeah. Plus there's some unbelievable stuff that I just can't tell you about.
So what kind of doctor is Doctor Cyclops?
A psychiatrist?
No.
He's not really a doctor.
I mean, he may have a Ph.D., but Doctor Cyclops is just his code-name.
And he hates it.
Where are all your clever spy gadgets?
Well, check out this baby.
A tooth-pick!
A poisoned tooth-pick.
Perfect! Especially if Doctor Cyclops just had corn-on-the-cob.
Hi aunt Hilda.
Sabrina, finally! I thought you were just going skiing for a couple of hours.
I thought so too, but it turns out I'm a natural.
Hey do you want some hot chocolate?
Please.
Oh great. You're just in time for our family dinner.
Actually Doug and I just wanted to collapse in front of the volcano.
Then Zelda and I will have a family dinner.
Actually we just saw her on the slopes. I think she's might be night skiing.
Great! Then I'll just have a family dinner all by myself.
Ah. You know I-I realise I'm not family...
Yet,
er but I'd be happy to chow down with you.
Would you let me try your entrée?
Sure.
Okay.
There you go.
Do you take marsh-mallows?
The little ones.
There you go.
This is nice.
Whoa! Toastie!
Hey, do you want to play cribbage?
I'd love to. How does it work?
You don't know?
Now you do.
Great. Deal me six and we'll play till I skunk you.
That could take awhile.
I've got time.
I don't believe this. You have a talking dog?
I have a talking cat.
Really? Don't pets make the best of friends?
I mean you get total loyalty, unconditional love...
You've never had a cat have you?
What's going on?
Oh they turn the lodge into a cheesy disco at night. Do you wanna dance?
Sure.
Alright!
Hey! Someone has to make a science diet run!
Wait. Did I just hear the phone?
Yello?
Hi. This is Harvey.
I know Sabrina's not home but I thought maybe you could get a message to her.
Keep it short. Erm,
I don't have anything to write with.
The message is that...
I'm going to sleep now and maybe I'll talk to her tomorrow.
Got it.
Thanks.
Morning ski-bunny.
I ache all over.
Skiing is easy but disco is hard.
You have a message at the front desk to call Salem.
I wonder what he wants.
Hello?
Did I wake you?
No you didn't wake me. I was just...
reading.
You were looking for me?
Yeah. Harvey called last night and asked me to tell ya...
he was going to sleep.
Weird! I wonder wha...
Oh my God. I totally forgot! I gotta go.
You're welcome!
I'm such a jerk.
Hello?
Hey, Sabrina.
I am so sorry I didn't call last night.
I-I must be on Mars or something.
Hey, don't worry. I wasn't like...
waiting by the phone.
So, did you lose you're mittens?
No. Thanks to the mitten-minders my mittens were minded.
Hey Sabrina. Oh you're on the phone.
Yeah, I'll be off in a sec'
Okay.
Who was that?
My ski instructor.
Oh cool! You took lessons.
Do you like your teacher?
Yeah he's... fine.
Well it sounds like you're having fun.
Hey I got all new socks and two new shirts yesterday.
That's great. I can't wait to see them...
Okay. Bye.
AUNT ZELDA!!
Aunt Zelda!
What a pleasant surprise.
Surprise?
I've been skiing behind you for the past five miles screaming your name.
What's going on?
I have a very very serious problem.
Doug asked me to go on a picnic with him tonight.
Well! Seriously,
that sounds like fun.
But I'm not supposed to be having fun.
Why not?
Because I promised myself I wouldn't and then I met Doug and now I'm all confused.
I mean how can I like Doug when I like Harvey?
Sabrina, you're very young
and odds are over the next ten years you will meet and like many different boys.
Thank you for that sweeping generality but what do I do about tonight?
Do you wanna go?
Yeah, but I'm worried it would hurt Harvey's feelings.
Well then you have weigh your desire to go versus your desire not to hurt Harvey.
Or I could go and Harvey'll never find out?
Bad idea. Relationships are hard enough when you're completely honest.
You start hiding things, you're taking a risk,
but it's your choice.
I can't make the decision for you.
Are you sure? It would really help me out.
Oh, you're back.
I made it all the way down Olympus Mons.
It was spectacular!
Ugh! You should have used more sun-block.
Enemy transmissions are definitely coming from someplace in the...
Hey! Ooh! Who's she?
My sister.
Who are you?
Warren. He's a...
Insurance salesman.
Are you covered?
Ha-ha! I'm just kidding.
Okay let's go to the family dinner.
Shouldn't we wait for Sabrina?
She went off with Doug.
Who's Doug?
Her ski instructor.
Oh I hope she made the right decision.
Here we are.
Wow! Picnic in a crater.
Oh it's not just a crater. It's the best crater on the planet.
Mars is so cool.
You're lucky you get to live here all the time.
Ah, it's not that much fun.
After the seasons over, it's just a lot of witch townies.
Well I love it. It's so different and exotic.
Ham sandwich?
Sure.
Both moons are really beautiful tonight.
Yeah.
Hey, there's the Mars probe. Smile.
Are you cold?
No. I'm all right.
Are you sure? Because um,
I could put my arm around you.
That's okay. I can just... put my arms around myself.
I'm sensing you feel uncomfortable being here.
Should I walk you back to the lodge?
No. No, I'm enjoying this.
Really?
Yeah.
Well I'm glad 'cause I like you Sabrina.
I like you too.
What are you doing?
I was gonna kiss you.
Kiss me? Well.
I don't even know you that well. I mean...
it hardly seems right to kiss someone when you...
haven't even shaken hands.
All right. Do you wanna shake?
Okay.
Now can I kiss you?
I don't think so.
Well why not?
It's your handshake. No offence but...
I've had better.
Well that's not fair.
We had gloves on. Give me another chance.
Okay.
And this time I'm really gonna mean it.
Look it's not your fault. There's a guy back on earth named Harvey and...
well when I shake his hand I feel all tingly and...
when I shake yours well...
Frankly it's a little sweaty.
Is not.
I'm sorry but I have to be honest.
So um. D'ya wanna go back to the lodge?
Nah, We can finish our picnic.
I mean, we're still friends right?
Of course.
Friends.
Anything?
Sorry.
We'll be back around five. Can you come by?... Great.
Sabrina! We have to go.
That's weird.
Warren said he'd be down to say goodbye.
Well maybe he was captured by the evil agents from All-state.
I knew I shouldn't have told you.
So he lied about everything.
He was very entertaining so that makes it okay.
All set.
Hilda! Hilda! I was instructed to abort my mission immediately
but I couldn't leave without saying goodbye.
That's so sweet.
Now look. We don't have much time so here.
Give me your telephone number.
Oh jeez! Not with that!
That's my vaporising gun. Okay here. Use a ball-point.
You just never give up.
There you go.
I'll call you.
Did you hear that?
What an odd noise.
Oh-no!
What's going on?
This is the work of Doctor Cyclops!
She really knows how to pick 'em.
I'll-I'll always remember you, Hilda.
Unless they remove my brain!
I don't believe it!
I guess he really was a secret agent.
Apparently, not a very good one.
But he told the truth. That's amazing.
And very heart-warming.
If he ever escapes you can bet he'll call.
Yeah.
Oh I just wish I'd given him my real phone number.
Fluffy! FLUFFY! Wake up, they'll be back any minute!
SALEM?!
Someone brought cat-nip. I swear I had nothing to do with it.
You are so lucky Harvey's here.
Now clean this place up and...
crack a window.
My head.
You're back!
Yeah, hi. Hey, new shirt.
And check out the socks.
Nice!
Lets go and show them off at The Slicery.
Actually. Come on in.
We need to talk.
Talk?
Yeah.
You see I want us to have a completely honest relationship.
Okay.
And the truth is, when I was on my ski vacation, something kind of happened.
Oh?
I met this amazing guy.
You did?
But he wasn't as amazing as you,
and going out with him made me realise I like you better.
Okay! Lets go to The Slicery.
since we're being honest I have something to tell you too.
Really? What?
If you're ever away and you meet somebody really amazing
but you decide you like me better,
don't tell me.
Deal.
Wow!
No! No! No! fellas. You got it all wrong.
A secret agent! No! No! No! I'm an insurance salesman...
Yeah. And in fact I can prove it to you guys. Here.
Let me just get my note book out. Here...
...and I'll crunch some numbers on a term-life policy for ya.
Now let's just say you're a thirty year old none smoker with a good job
and a descent medical program, and your estimated time to die is...
NOW!
In your eye Doctor Cyclops