This is Sabrina's 18th birthday party
and I want everything to be perfect.
18? I can't believe it.
She'll be leaving home soon.
Starting a whole new life.
Making new friends...
A new place to live.
We probably won't see her much anymore.
She'll be too busy to visit her silly old aunts.
I'm home!
Yeah, but not for long.
Aah...
We can't let her see us all teary.
Happy faces.
Not the smiling spell.
This is going to be the best year ever.
I just heard that Libby's parents
are sending her to boarding school.
I guess Children of the Corn Academy has reopened.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to chocolate town.
See? She's leaving us already.
Our little witch is all grown up.
You still have little me.
(both crying)
¶ ¶
¶ Secrets ¶
¶ You never gonna learn ¶
¶ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah ¶
¶ Secrets, secrets ¶
¶ Secrets. ¶
(thunder crashing)
and Valerie's bedthink up against that wall?
How about we put Valerie's bed where it belongs--
with her family in Alaska?
Salem, I'm sorry, but I asked you
if it was okay if Valerie comes to stay.
But I thought you said, "I'd like to get you a valet."
Valerie's my best friend.
I can't let her finish up high school in Anchorage.
She looks terrible in mukluks.
And remember, while she's here, no talking.
Something in your eye
or an aneurysm-- either way, take it outside.
I'm trying some nonverbal communication.
That was Morse code for, "I can't believe those aunts
agreed to let Valerie come live with us."
Yeah. Every so often they're shockingly cool.
I can't believe you agreed to let Valerie come live with us.
Me? I believe you're the one who said, "Gee, it'd be nice
to have a mortal around the house for a change."
First of all, I never say "Gee."
The point is, we agreed.
Now we're just going to have to learn to get along
without magic around the house for nine months.
It's Sabrina's last year at home and...
I want everything to be... (sniffles) perfect.
You're right.
In nine months, we can do all the magic that we want.
There won't be any teenagers around
(sniffling): to tell us how uncool and out-of-style we are.
I can always do that for you.
Thanks, Zellie.
Don't forget the one from your dad.
Okay, it's not a car, so I'm going with my second choice.
It must be tickets to the Britney Spears concert.
Surprise!
Dad!
If the rest of you is in a Porsche,
I'm the happiest girl in the world.
I guess that explains the air holes.
Sabrina... ah.
I'm afraid my present is a little bit selfish this year.
Men's shoes again?
No. I'm semi-retiring
from the Other Realm Foreign Service,
so I'm going to be settling down.
I want you to come to Paris and live with me.
Live with you?
Right now?
Well, of course not.
She needs time to pack.
Dad, I don't know what to say.
I know-- how about
"Thanks, but no, thanks."
Would you excuse us?
We have to check on those cakes.
Mmm... huh?
We can't let him do this!
He can't just pop in here and take our Sabrina away.
He's her father.
Of course he can.
We knew this day would come.
Yes, but not for a long, long time.
Oh, it's not fair.
And there are paw prints all over my cake!
When I'm upset, I eat.
Now, listen, you've got to promise me
that you're not going to try to influence Sabrina's decision.
If she wants to leave us, (sniffles)... well...
SABRINA: Dad, I'll be right back.
Isn't this fantastic?
Dad said he and Gail live in the magic quarter in Paris
and their apartment is actually in the Eiffel tower.
Think about how many thousands of Japanese snapshots
I'll be in!
(sniffling)
Are you crying?
Onions.
New cake recipe.
Sometimes I just don't understand Martha Stewart.
(knocking)
Happy birthday.
Wow! This must be a fantastic party.
You two look like you're having a really good time.
Whoo-hoo, tickets to the Britney Spears concert!
Actually they're parking lot passes.
We have to listen to the concert from outside,
but we might get to see her when she runs to her limo.
Whoo-hoo, parking lot passes
to the Britney Spears concert!
You know, Sabrina,
I think this is going to be the best year ever.
And so, I just don't think I can go right now.
I mean, there's Harvey, and senior year starts tomorrow,
and I have a friend moving in with me,
and I hear the French can be really rude.
Sabrina, it's okay.
I understand.
Just promise me you'll think about it.
I miss having you close by.
SABRINA: I promise.
Checking each other for chiggers.
Please tell me this means what I think it means.
That my mother was right,
and I should have taken those classes
to become a court reporter?
No. That Mr. Kraft is not coming back
thus proving that prayers are answered.
They told me to take his name off the door.
New vice principal starts today.
No Libby, no Kraft.
So, this is what it's like to peak.
Hey, guess what?
Well, if my day keeps going the way it's been going,
you've got gold for me?
No, but I have news.
You remember Brad?
Your best friend who moved back to Texas?
The guy who used to burn ants with a magnifying glass?
That's the guy, and he's back.
Come on. I can't wait for you to meet him.
Oh! Glad to see you learned to catch while I was gone.
Hi, Brad.
Oh, hey, right back at you, Courtney.
Hey, Brad, I'd like you to meet Sabrina.
Sabrina? Oh, it's about ti...
Hi.
Hey, Joey!
Nice to meet you, too.
Isn't he great?
Yeah. Good thing I don't have a thorax.
Why can't we just put all this stuff in the basement
with the rest of the junk?
Well, because we have to pack up all our potions
before Valerie arrives
so I thought we might as well go through them.
For example, this frog's tongue expired in 1872.
SALEM: Help!
Fire!
Help! Help!
Salem! That's a real toaster.
I packed up the magic one this morning.
It's only for toast.
Well, that's stupid.
You ordered a king-size cat bed with magic fingers?
And where do you expect to put that, Hef?
Sabrina's room.
It's custom, so you have to order it months in advance.
In advance of what?
Sabrina going away to college.
While you sob sisters
have been sniveling at the thought of it,
I've been planning ahead.
Nine months and Salem's getting his own pad.
Yeah, baby!
Good luck opening the door.
Guh?
Hey. So you excited to be back in Westbridge?
Must be great to know everyone missed you...
Yeah, so whatever.
Okay, if he calls me a freak
I know Libby got hold of some male hormones.
Hey, there's Brad.
He saved us a seat.
I think he saved you a seat.
Harvey, I really don't think he likes me.
What are you talking about?
Of course he likes you.
Hey, could we make some room for Sabrina?
Yeah, sure.
See?
I was just getting up.
See?
Hey, Brad...
Do you have some kind of problem with Sabrina?
Sabrina?
She's cool. Why?
No reason.
Forget about it.
He thinks you're great.
ZELDA: All we've been doing is sitting around the house, crying.
Why don't we go out somewhere fun and cheer ourselves up?
That's a great idea.
Hey, you know, that revival house downtown
is playing a fabulous double feature--
Terms of Endearment and Sophie's Choice.
Perfect. I could use a good cry.
BRAD: Kinkle, think fast!
Don't forget-- my place, 7:30.
We'll be there.
What's going on at 7:30?
I thought we had a date.
The guys are having this "welcome back" thing for Brad,
and I figured we could combine it with our date.
Shoot, and I was hoping we could go out
for Chinese water torture.
What's this problem you have with Brad?
The only problem I have with Brad
is that Brad has a problem with me.
I can kind of see why.
You're not being very welcoming.
Oh, yeah, that whole friendly thing I do is so off-putting.
Fine. We won't go to Brad's house and have fun;
we'll go out.
Maybe I don't want to go out.
Great, 'cause I don't think I want to take you out.
Great.
Not great.
Hey!
Mr. Kraft?
What are you doing here?
You're not vice principal anymore.
True.
Ineffectual, purely a figurehead
Vice Principal Kraft is no more.
Now it is all-seeing, all-powerful Principal Kraft.
Principal?!
What am I-- Job?
(chuckling)
This is going to be the best year ever.
Hello?
Crisis!
Aunt Hilda?
Aunt Zelda?
Where is everybody?
Oh, they're having fun at the movies and dinner
as opposed to being here where they should be
while I'm having a Force-five freak-out!
Salem, I'm in full crisis mode!
Yuh-huh.
Do you think
a mirrored ceiling would be too much
or just enough?
Salem!
(phone rings)
If this is someone trying to switch my long-distance,
I swear... Valerie?
Oh, thank goodness, someone to talk to!
Listen, Mr. Kraft
is principal.
Harvey has this obnoxious friend,
and we had a huge fight...
Wait. Aren't you supposed to be on a plane?
What?!
No. Of course I understand.
Sure.
Okay. Bye.
Valerie's not coming.
She can't leave her family.
Yes! Look who's talking now!
This is going to be the worst year of my life!
Unless...
Sabrina, where are you going?
Paris.
Dear Harvey, the view from my dad's apartment is...
Uh, my dad's apartment is located in the Eiffel...
The cheese is great.
Ah! Bonjour, Cherie.
Bonjour!
Hey, Melvin, you want me
to get you some food?
GAIL: That's your stepbrother's job.
Donald!
(scoffing)
Thank you!
Silly me. I was going to do it the mortal way,
but then, I'm so bourgeois.
Okay, we better get going
if we want to beat the crowds at Euro Disney again.
I'll get Donald.
Oh, actually, I was kind of hoping
I'd be starting school today.
Oh, honey, I'm sorry-- I keep forgetting to look into that.
Look, why don't I just zap you in a tutor?
You like Einstein?
Thanks, but... you know, even if kids here
do considering bathing a quirky personality trait,
I really think I'd rather be going to a regular high school
with kids my own age.
You are definitely your mortal mother's daughter.
All right, let's go.
Uh, actually, I think I'm going to hang out here today.
I'm feeling a little homesick.
Or maybe it's the cream sauce from breakfast.
Well, you can always check up on people
on the mortal channel.
I mean, I paid for the premium package.
Somebody might as well use it.
Yeah, watching people
who probably don't care less that I'm gone--
that'll cheer me up.
We'll have a good day together, won't we?
Just you and me-- right, Melvin?
(snoring) Melvin?
Yo, Kinkle! Think fast!
Hey, you know you've been
wearing that shirt for three days?
Four.
This is what I was wearing the last time I saw Sabrina.
Yeah, get it all in there.
What are you doing to Sabrina's locker?!
Erasing every last memory and molecule of Miss Spellman.
I don't know if I want to check up on Harvey.
I mean, we had that stupid fight
and he probably doesn't even miss me.
All right, quit badgering me-- I'll look.
(laughing)
Oh. Well, he certainly seems to be keeping his anguish in check.
Yeah, apparently, the healing has begun.
(laughing)
He is so over me.
(laughing)
Okay, thank you, Mr. Kinkle,
for helping me demonstrate
how stimulating the nervous system
can provoke an involuntary response--
in this case, laughter.
Sabrina's ticklish behind the ears.
And may I recommend a strong antifungal?
Oh, I hate substituting.
(sobbing)
Hilda, please, pull yourself together.
You've got to stop crying.
Why?
Because whenever I see you doing it
(sobbing): I start.
Oh, sure. Blame me.
Yeah, it's all Hilda's fault.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to take it out on you.
You're all I have.
Think how I feel.
You're all I have.
Here.
Help with these boxes.
It's good to keep busy.
And be careful, there are potions in there.
I know. You don't always have to...
(gasps)
Want to wreak havoc in Gotham City?
Well, Harvey might not care that I'm gone,
but I'm sure my aunts miss me.
(laughing)
Uncontrollable laughter must be one of the stages of grief.
You looked ridiculous.
Oh, me? You should have seen you.
(clucking)
They're so happy I'm gone, they're giddy!
Wait, wait-- do you hear something?
I hear crying.
Salem?
Finally, someone misses me.
Granted, I would have bet big money it wouldn't be the cat.
(sobbing)
Salem, are you all right?
Oh... tell Zelda what's the matter.
It's... it's...
it's the drapes.
They clash with the new comforter,
and I can't return them.
(sobbing)
My bed's not even cold and he's moving in already.
You know, it seems like the only person who's excited to see me
is my dad.
I've got to do everything possible to try to fit in here.
What do you think?
You're dead, aren't you, Melvin?
You self-absorbed cat.
I know that's redundant.
Okay, truth time.
I don't care about curtains.
I'm upset because I miss Sabrina.
Everything in here reminds me of her.
Because it is hers!
I miss my Sabrini.
(sobbing)
"Sabrini"?
...and so I've been rethinking
this whole mortal high school thing:
learning English as a second language,
downing goose liver and snail sandwiches--
no, thank you.
Sabrina, this doesn't sound like you.
Oh, really? Don't you recognize my voice?
Are you unhappy here?
No, not at all.
It's just... well, I was supposed to go
to this Britney Spears concert, and...
Say no more!
¶ You're so into me ¶
¶ That I'm the only one you will see ¶
¶ Tell me I'm not in the blue ¶
¶ Oh, that I'm not a-wastin' my feelings on you ¶
This is so cool!
¶ Every time I look at you ¶
¶ My heart is jumpin' ¶
¶ What can I do? ¶
¶ You drive me crazy, I just can't sleep ¶
It's good to see you smile again.
¶ I'm so excited, I'm in too deep ¶
¶ Oh, crazy, but it feels all right ¶
¶ Baby, thinkin' of you keeps me up all night. ¶
Okay, now it's just weird.
(music stops)
You're not enjoying this, are you?
No, it's great, it's just...
You know, it's not that much fun alone.
Tell me about it.
Like you'd know; you're always surrounded by people.
And sometimes, that's the loneliest place to be.
You know, maybe that's why I've been having
these weird one-on-one dreams so often.
They drive me crazy.
So what am I supposed to do?
I mean, I can't tell my dad I want to go back home.
Why not? You know, he needs to realize
you're not fitting in, and besides,
you came here for all the wrong reasons.
Okay, we'll do it your way--
right foot first.
Easier, huh?
Uh, not really.
So, what do you mean, "all the wrong reasons"?
Well, it sounds like to me
that you're running away from your problems--
taking the easy way out.
"Taking the easy way out"-- that's a great idea for a song.
Dibs on royalties.
Could I go home now?
Sure.
Thanks.
Great voice, but she really needs
to work on the dance moves.
Sabrina, I need to talk to you.
Oh, Dad, I need to talk to you, too.
I have to go to Pluto.
You first.
A civil war has broken out there.
Unfortunately, it means I'm going to be gone
for quite a while.
Now, you're welcome to stay here with Gail and Donald,
but I think you might be much happier...
Back home.
Yeah.
Thanks.
SABRINA: Hello! I'm home!
Where is everybody?
I can't believe Aunt Hilda and Aunt Zelda went out again.
Dad told them I was coming home...
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!
Oh, welcome home, honey.
We missed you.
Sabrini!
"Sabrini"?
I'm so happy you're back!
Put me down. Sorry.
I'm so glad to be back,
and I'm so glad you're glad I'm back.
There are paw prints in my cake.
When I'm happy, I eat.
I guess we can all thank that civil war on Pluto.
Is that what it was?
Would you excuse us for a moment?
Nuh... uh...
(stammering)
But I... I want cake.
It's the other way.
All right, spill.
Did you have anything to do with this civil war on Pluto?
Define "anything."
Well, I might have made a few phone calls
to some ne'er-do-well friends who owe me a favor or two,
but I only did it because I wanted Sabrina back.
You aren't going to turn me into the Witches' Council, are you?
Well, something has to be done.
How about I fry you up a thick salmon filet?
(gasping)
All those years of warmongering
and this is the first time anyone's ever said "thank you."
I can't believe you're back.
I missed you so much.
I missed you, too,
but you have to let go, or I can't get in my locker.
Promise you won't go away again?
I promise-- and promise you'll change your shirt.
Hey, Brad, look who's back.
Oh, hey, Sabrina.
Hi, Brad! Thanks, Paris was great.
I so don't get him.
Hey, Brad. Yeah, what's up, partner?
You know, you got to start being nicer to Sabrina.
I said, "Hey, Sabrina."
Yeah, but next time when you say, "Hey, Sabrina,"
you got to say it like you mean, "Hey, Sabrina!"
You must really love this girl.
Yeah.
Don't tell coach.
Oh, no.
Yep, this is going to be the best year ever.
Miss Spellman, what are you doing back here?
¶ You drive me crazy ¶
¶ I just can't sleep ¶
What's the matter?
Didn't you ever see anybody get jiggy before?
¶ Oh, crazy, but it feels all right ¶
¶ Baby, thinkin' of you keeps me up all night. ¶
HARVEY: You know, this was fun
even though we didn't get to see the show.
SABRINA: Well, yeah,
but I almost heard one song.
This has been the best birthday ever.
Hey, look, there she is!
(all cheering)
Wow, Sabrina!
She looked at you like she knew you!
Yeah.
In her dreams.
They shoot horses, don't they?
¶ Baby, I'm so into you ¶
¶ You got that something ¶
¶ What can I do? ¶
¶ Baby ¶
¶ You spin me around ¶
¶ The Earth is movin' ¶
¶ But I can't feel the ground ¶
¶ Every time you look at me ¶
¶ My heart is jumpin', it's easy to see ¶
¶ You drive me crazy ¶
¶ I just can't sleep ¶
¶ I'm so excited ¶
¶ I'm in too deep ¶
¶ Oh, crazy, but it feels all right ¶
¶ Baby, thinkin' of you keeps me up all night. ¶