(clock cuckoos)
13:00?
I'm late.
Aunt Zelda...
Oh.
Sorry.
Why the pod of privacy?
Because that stupid clock of Hilda's is driving me...
(clock cuckooing)
Exactly.
Hilda's pretending
that piece of junk doesn't bother her,
but this is one girl who can out-pretend her.
Oh, so you two have finally outgrown staring contests.
(cuckooing)
I knew that noise would get to you.
Blow it up, baby.
Bad audition?
My life needs a new direction.
I'm only 620 years old.
I need something more stimulating.
ZELDA: Well, if you've grown tired of the violin,
perhaps a career change is a good idea.
Let me offer you a suggestion...
(clock cuckoos)
Fix that infernal clock!
Zelda, face it.
You're the only one that it bothers.
(clock chirps and chimes out of synch and off-key)
(clock is silent)
Salem...
did you break my brand-new
handmade-in-Indonesia Swiss cuckoo clock?
(coughing)
Cuckoo...
(spits and groans)
¶ ¶
¶ Secrets ¶
¶ You're never gonna know ¶
¶ You're never gonna guess ¶
¶ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah ¶
¶ Secrets, secrets ¶
¶ Secrets. ¶
¶ ¶
Oh, another protest?
Good grief, you stage one little rally
against mildew in the locker room
and suddenly, you're Che Guevara.
"Westbridge Through the Years."
Well, clearly, very little has happened
in Westbridge through the years.
Well, it's not finished yet.
I want to be editor of the yearbook
and this is my audition page.
A little maternal oohing and ahing
might be appropriate now.
Sabrina, it might not be a good idea
to take on too many extra activities this year.
Don't worry, Aunt Zelda, I've taken on
a new can-do attitude for my senior year.
Well, that's good, because this arrived
from the Witches Council this morning.
I've been chosen
to mentor a witch student this year?
Yes, you have to guide and teach another witch,
so they can get their witch's license.
I have to be somebody's Quiz Master?
No, mentor.
What's the difference?
Quiz Masters get paid.
Fine.
I can help mold and shape someone's young mind
and make him get me coffee.
I like it.
I'm off to the clock shop.
God, she really loves that clock, huh?
I know.
Sad.
What you protesting?
Not another protest, Miss Spellman.
If we were in China,
I could run you over with a tank.
This isn't a protest.
It's my audition page for yearbook editor.
See, "Westbridge Through the Years."
I'm going to put pictures of past yearbooks here...
The theme of the yearbook is the same every year.
It is a bound chronicle
of the misery that I've been put through
during the previous nine months.
Okay, now I'm protesting.
Mr. Garcia, get the water hose.
Come on, Mr. Kraft.
I know this may strike you as a walk on the wild side,
but how about giving me a little support?
Well, since I'm the head
of the faculty committee that selects the yearbook editor,
you'll need it.
Okay, somewhere along the way,
this conversation went terribly wrong.
I live for days like this.
Oh! Oops!
Excuse me.
Hey, um, did you write me the letter of recommendation
for yearbook editor?
Okay, bro, here's the question.
New NFL franchise--
who do you pick?
Barry Sanders.
You're brain-dead.
Hello? Letter of recommendation?
I'm sorry, Sabrina.
Last night kind of got away from me.
We're starting a new fantasy football league.
And I can't tell you how excited I am about that.
I need the letter.
I'll get right on it.
Thanks.
With that and Mr. Kraft's sudden death due to smallpox,
I might make editor.
No!
Sorry.
You should be more careful.
I'm Dreama...
(bell rings)
and I'm late.
Good luck with whatever you're protesting.
Power to the people.
You know, I love the violin.
But you can only play so much Mozart
until you start to be glad he died young.
Mmm. Travel clock, on the house.
So, now I want to do something bolder--
more imaginative, more challenging.
Want to buy this place?
Really? Sure.
Wow, I... never really imagined myself as a merchant.
Could I interest you in an alarm clock?
Ha!
By golly, I'll do it.
(chuckles)
Hey, where are you going?
I'm going to buy a bar.
Wow...
talk about impulsive.
Hey, did you write that letter of recommendation at lunch?
Ate lunch at lunch.
And to tell you the truth,
the thought of writing it's giving me
a knot in my stomach.
Oh, that's just the fish cakes.
Don't worry, it's just a little letter.
Nothing to feel pressured about.
I need it by tomorrow or all is lost!
Hi, there. Remember me?
Uh... I'm having flashbacks as we speak.
Okay.
What is the integral of the sine function
of minus pi to pi, anyone?
Oh!
Zero, because sine is
an odd function
and the negative area cancels out the positive area.
Sabrina... could you, uh, get yourself organized,
so you could participate in the class, please?
Yes, sir.
ZELDA: You what?
I bought a clock shop.
Which clock shop?
The one down by the market.
That shop?
It's in a terrible location.
No, it's not.
Took me five minutes to find.
In the last two years, that same spot has been
a karate school, a nail salon, a yogurt shop,
another nail salon, a Chinese restaurant
and a combination Chinese restaurant and nail salon.
So, what you're saying is if things go well,
I could sublet to a psychic.
Hilda, all those shops failed.
Well, mine isn't going to fail.
Mine is going to be a gigantic, colossal success.
I am going to be the Rolex of the clock world.
You don't know the first thing about clocks.
I know tons about clocks.
What time is it?
8:40.
It's ten after 2:00.
All right. So I put my watch on upside-down, okay?
And it's 8:40 somewhere.
Hi, there.
Hi back.
I've had days like that.
You are a day like that.
(sighs)
What was that?
Oh, uh...
stomach rumble.
I had the fish cakes.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't get interested in her, son.
That girl is poison.
Yeah, there is something strange about her, isn't there...
something weird.
Hey, you know, I like you, boy.
You know the best way to fit into a new school,
other than just being, you know, Dano to my McGarrett?
Extracurricular activities...
and just at the moment,
we are desperate to find a new editor for our yearbook.
Oh, wow, I might be interested
in a job like that.
Oh, that's great.
Fine. Put the new kid in charge of our memories.
So, Harvey's going to bring
his parents' old yearbooks
and I'm going to put pictures of old Westbridge students here.
And these pictures are being brought by the same Harvey
who can't remember to write a letter.
You know, this editor thing is really important to me.
So, would you put a sock in it, Sergeant Negative?
Aye, aye, Captain Deluded.
(doorbell rings)
Hey, maybe that's my witch student.
(laughing)
You're going to teach some poor kid how to do mag...
(laughing)
I think it's marvelous.
ZELDA: Sabrina,
your witch student is here.
SABRINA: Coming.
Don't get smart with me, mister.
(goofy gasp)
Just practicing.
Hmm...
It's a girl.
Oh, good, 'cause fish are so hard to train.
She's in there.
Dreama? You're my student?!
And you're my teacher?
This is incredible.
I'm so lucky.
(vase shatters)
Can I please go back
to working on the family secret?
I got you a present.
Oh, dear, that was supposed to be flowers.
That's okay. We don't have a vase.
Here, dear. Dreama's parents
moved her here from the Other Realm,
so that you could help her.
She's a very bright girl,
but she's neglected her magic.
Great! Um, Aunt Zelda,
can I speak to you in private for a moment?
Remember my can-do attitude?
Gone! She's a walking disaster.
The Witches Council
will have to pull another name out of the hat.
Dreama wasn't chosen for you at random.
Her name came from
an intricately constructed scientific hat.
I can't work with her.
Can't you see? She'll kill me!
Sabrina, it's a mandate from the Other Realm.
You have to improve Dreama's magic
or you'll lose your witch's license and be deported.
Well, it's something new and horrible every day, isn't it?
The Mortal Realm is so different
from the Other Realm.
I hope I can fit in.
Okay, there are a couple of things to remember.
One: I worked very hard to get my witch's license.
Two: it means a lot to me.
Three: I have a hard enough time covering my own tracks,
let alone trying to cover yours.
And four or five or wherever I am:
no magic in front of mortals.
Okay, got it.
Hey! I don't care what you did at your old school.
Here we do not celebrate Firecracker Tuesday.
So you meant magic of any sort?
Harvey! Hey, did you bring the old yearbooks?
Uh-oh.
Well, did you at least write the letter of recommendation?
Oh, man, Brad came over
and we rated every defensive back in the NFL.
Salem was right.
Your cat?
Don't change the subject.
I'll get the books at lunch,
I promise.
Well, at least I know
that if Harvey was out with Brad last night,
Brad couldn't have worked on his yearbook proposal.
Mr. Alcerro. Now, this is what I call a proposal.
I'll say. Whose is...?
Nice work, Bradley.
Yes. You know, it's reassuring to see
that some students can get their proposals in on time.
If I were you, I would start sharpening my editor's pencil.
(phone ringing)
Hello?
Hi, so I was wondering...
are you ever going to come down to my shop?
In other words, you're in way over your head
and you need me to come down there and rescue you.
Something vaguely like that.
(all clamoring)
So we're not supposed to use our magic to do schoolwork,
even though you're a witch?
Hey, I thought we promised Dr. Fishman
we weren't going to name call.
Listen, here's another rule you need to know
if you're going to survive in the Mortal Realm:
never ever let a mortal know that you're a witch.
Okay, but who's Dr. Fishman?
Yeah, this is a nice proposal.
I wish Brad would move back to Texas.
I'm assuming you meant to send Brad to Texas.
Well, while we're here,
you want to rustle up some grub?
Where did you come from?
I really think you need to have
that conversation with your parents.
What did I say about magic in front of mortals--
especially bad magic?
I'm sorry, I've been doing this all my life.
I pull before I think.
I've got to get to health class.
Mrs. Quick won't mind if I leave this here.
Sit!
Stay!
All Sabrina needs to do is fill in these blank spots
with high school students from the past.
There's no mortals around.
To finish her poster of Westbridge High,
bring me the students of years gone by.
Where are we?
Where's the radio?
We were listening to Jack Benny.
Uh-oh.
I'll have that fixed for you by Monday.
(bell jingling)
Oh! I just didn't say which Monday.
Bet you're kicking yourself now that you didn't get
a piece of this place when you had the chance.
You cannot possibly run this place by yourself
and I am not coming down here
every day to help you.
Okay, 25%.
That's my final offer.
Oh! What a great grandfather clock.
Well, actually, it's a grandfather clock,
but it appears to be a great one.
There's something odd about this clock.
What? That it actually works?
Let's check out the guts inside.
No, wait!
(gasping)
Oh!
Now I see why that guy wanted all cash.
(sighing)
Psst!
Two minutes walking around and my leg should wake up.
You did magic, didn't you?
You think this has anything to do with the war?
Where am I?
(gasping): Who are you?
Hilda, I hope you're happy.
You bought a magical lost-in-time clock.
Well, how was I supposed to know that that's what it was?
"Lost-in-time clock.
"Persons who come through this clock are lost in time.
"Whoever opens this portal must assist
"the time-traveler or be turned into a clock themselves.
No excuses, no exceptions, this means you."
Well, I guess that's what they mean by "buyer beware."
They said these things were safe.
Well, now what do we do? I'm not sure.
See? You don't know any more about running a clock shop than I do.
Hello. Hello.
You've got to reverse the spell.
I-I don't know how.
Let me try.
You don't know how to reverse your spells,
but you know how to seal them.
This isn't good news, is it?
I've read about lost-in-time people before.
They made a big mistake somewhere in their lives
and they have to go back so they can correct it.
Okay, Billy, what was the last thing that you remember doing?
Well, let's see, uh...
I was in the big game, I was running for a pass
and I noticed my shoe was untied.
That must be it.
Right.
Okay, Billy, go back and this time, don't trip.
Oh, not as easy as it looks.
We've got to get to my aunts.
Let's make a break for it.
Halt!
That's detention for everyone...
including George and Mary Bailey here.
They're part of my yearbook proposal.
You know, a live 3-D
interactive presentation
with kids from the Westbridge players.
I don't like it.
Oh, well, then, I guess we'll have to return
the costumes to the costume shop.
And the fact that we don't have a costume shop
doesn't even bother me.
Okay, the glue is on.
Thank goodness he remembered dropping that pass.
Okay, Billy, go back there and this time, win one for the gipper!
All right, well, we have that spare bedroom, don't we?
(bell jingling)
Oh, it's Sabrina and Dreama.
HILDA: And two weird kids.
I've got a big problem.
Cirque du Soleil?
Football player.
He came through the clock.
So I can speak freely.
Oh, no, it's Brad. Oh!
You know, you could help me
send these people back to their homes
or you could help me fight the Witches Council
in a fiery, apocalyptic showdown.
Whatever works for you.
We've got a little problem.
Brad's outside.
Brad?! Gretchen?
Billy?
You know each other?
We were in love,
but I decided to play in the big game
instead of taking her out for her birthday.
So I went out with John instead.
And you never thought about going out after the game?
ZELDA: Billy!
That's why you're lost in time.
You've got to go back, skip the game
and be with your girl.
And you've got to go out there and make sure Brad
doesn't come back here. Just show him some clocks.
Yeah, but if you sell one, no commission.
Now, let's let these guys 23-skidoo.
Hilda, that's the '20s.
Sorry, it looks like you lose out.
Well, that's okay.
If you ever find yourself in 1946, look me up.
Toodle-oo.
Buy bonds.
Okay, so we've sent three very confused people
back home through a clock.
Now all I have to do is come up with an excuse for Brad.
Hilda, do you feel strange?
Definitely.
What's that?
This Brad is the boy
who dislikes you for no apparent reason?
That's right.
(gasps): Bingo!
Witch hunter!
As in "hunts witches"?
A very small amount of mortals are born with a witch-hunting gene
that makes them want to ferret out witches.
Something new and horrible-- right on time.
Okay, so Harvey's best friend is trying to out me?
He doesn't know what he's doing.
He just senses magic and it makes him suspicious.
Yeah, the real danger comes when a witch
inadvertently reveals herself to a witch hunter.
Then you get turned into a mouse for a hundred years.
So we have to be very careful.
Oh, well, we're always careful
and we'd never do magic around... Dreama!
Maybe they're next door at the Beef Bowl.
No Dreama.
Good-bye license.
Good-bye home.
Witch hunter! (whistling)
Give me her!
What?
I'm so sorry.
Miss Spellman, do I have to add
crimes against nature to your dossier?
I...
Dreama! Thank goodness.
Who am I holding?
My science project.
Note the tumor.
KRAFT: You will be happy to learn
the detention hall now serves a continental breakfast.
Your girlfriend is weird.
I know.
I've been looking for you for, like, an hour.
I have a pager.
Here's your vintage yearbooks
and my heartfelt letter of recommendation.
You really wrote it?
With a little encouragement from Dreama.
She sat me down and told me to just write what I feel.
The first three drafts were about my stomachache,
but this last one's straight from the heart.
"Sabrina Spellman is the nicest, smartest,
"most imaginative person I've ever met.
Pick her as yearbook editor and watch her work her magic."
Oh, Harvey.
(bell rings)
Life's great when you're not annoyed with me.
So, you annoyed with me?
You know, you're not very good with your magic,
but you're a pretty good friend.
All this excitement has made me thirsty.
No!
Let's go over the rules again.
Well?
Well, Brad made yearbook editor.
We can turn him into a chicken.
Well, that's okay.
I'll have plenty to do mentoring Dreama.
Did you get your clock fixed?
Of course.
I run a clock shop.
Since Hilda has absolutely no
experience fixing things,
we had to improvise a little.
I'm not doing this all night.
I'm not working weekends.
I'm taking holidays off.
Salem...
Cuckoo.