A peanut butter, banana and vitamin sandwich?
I'm intrigued. It's Career Day at school,
and I have to figure out
what I'm going to do with my life,
so, hopefully, a diet rich in Jif and zinc will help.
Well, if you'd like to get a head start
I have a witch aptitude test on my laptop.
Is it accurate?
Are you kidding?
Not only did it peg me 100%,
but I got into Wellesley.
Okay, I'll try it.
Just put your finger
on the asterisk key,
and it'll show you your future.
Don't you quit on me.
I need four milligrams of epi, STAT!
And something for my tummy.
(gurney crashes)
Okay,
either I'm going to spend my future
being sued for malpractice
or that test is wrong.
Salem, did you tamper with this test?
Took, tampered with--
a cat's got to do what a cat's got to do.
Tell Elton John he can start singing now.
(laughs)
¶ ¶
¶ Secrets ¶
¶ You're never gonna know ¶
¶ You're never gonna get it ¶
¶ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah ¶
¶ Secrets, secrets ¶
¶ Secrets. ¶
¶ ¶
You know what I hate about Career Day?
It makes you think about your future.
I don't know. Some of these lectures
are pretty nap-friendly.
Spellman, Kinkle, new girl.
I'm not new. I've been here all year.
Surly new girl.
Detention.
That's it? No calling us "miscreants"?
No resenting us for our youth?
Why bother?
Oh, sure, when I became principal
I had a dream.
Mandatory "yes, sirs," corporal punishment,
scratchy woolen shorts,
but my hands are tied
by the school board.
And the century.
Yeah, when you look in the mirror
and the man staring back is just an ineffectual figurehead,
crushing young dreams just ain't what it used to be.
That's kind of sad.
He used to really revel in being unjustly mean.
Hey, you want to check out the "world needs corn" booth.
Can't. I have an appointment to talk to a career counselor.
He's going to help me whittle my options down
from "anything but a doctor."
It's good that you're thinking about your future.
You are clearly at a crucial crossroad.
Mm-hmm. Well, thank you
for offering me that shred of hope.
Oh, and, uh, here's the literature you requested.
Although I have to tell you that
rodeo clowning might be rough on a man your age.
Duly noted.
Mr. Kraft wants to change careers!
Yes!
(choir singing "hallelujah")
So, Mr. Kraft is soon to be ex-principal
of my little hallways.
Which explains why you're floating on air.
But you better get down.
Your aunt Eileen lost an eye that way.
I just hope Mr. Kraft doesn't try and move in here.
Nothing's sadder than a man who freeloads off a woman.
May I remind you
that I'm a cat.
Should we tell Zelda?
No, she'll use her common sense
to try to talk him into staying there
and playing it safe.
I just got off the phone with Willard.
He's having an identity crisis.
He's not sure if he's actually human?
No!
He wants to change jobs.
And you talked him out of it.
Of course not.
You are so good for him.
I encouraged Willard to take a leave of absence
and-and go find a job
that will make him happy.
Yes! And you might want to mention that Mexico
is brimming with opportunities.
I hope he takes your advice, but I doubt Willard Kraft
would leave a job where he gets free pens.
KRAFT (over PA): And so, with a heavy heart, I resign
as principal of Westbridge High.
(applause and cheering)
I prayed for this day!
(band plays victorious march)
Well, I'm sure those kids were just punchy.
Well, maybe I'm being paranoid because the bacchanal happened
immediately after the announcement.
Well, you were right to keep those pens.
How am I going to pick a new career?
I just fell into academics.
Well, after I failed the post office exam.
You just need to try new things.
I'm scared, Zoo-Zoo.
I mean, what if people scowl at me and say mean things?
You've dealt with that wonderfully for years.
Willard Kraft,
you are a brilliant and talented man.
I want you to follow your dreams.
I'll do it.
¶ ¶
Just think of all the jobs you know you don't want now.
I got to tell you, I am seriously thinking
of taking my job back at the high school.
You can't!
I mean, you just have to stick to it
until you find a job that's suited for you.
I tried. I've got the scabs to prove it.
So it might take a while.
I mean, look at me.
I found my dream job at the coffeehouse.
Sabrina, say hello to your new shift partner
Will.
As in, "I've lost the will to live"?
No, just Will.
Now that I'm behind Gen-X enemy lines,
I thought I'd go with something a little more with-it.
You've got to help me get Mr. Kraft out of there.
A coffeehouse should be a sanctuary.
Amen. Don't worry.
We'll figure something out.
Oh, and we can't tell Aunt Zelda.
She'd never want me to interfere with Mr. Kraft's life.
You've got to help me get Willard out of that coffeehouse.
We do? I mean, absolutely!
What is an intelligent, talented man doing wasting his time
in some pathetic little hole-in-the-wall?
Hey.
I mean, absolutely!
He just needs to remember his childhood dreams.
You know what?
I am going out and get him a copy
of What Color Is Your Parachute?
Oh, what a sweet idea.
It will never work.
You'd better use magic.
All Willard needs is a shot of "Dream Come True."
Sounds very "golden age of Hollywood."
All you have to do is squirt him, and he'll become
what he wanted to be when he was a child.
Oh, so he'll have to quit the coffeehouse,
and we'll go back to having repeat customers.
Let's test it out.
I'm not scratching the furniture!
(sobbing softly)
Finally, I'm a guy in red suspenders.
Get in line, ladies.
Beautiful. Well, I'll thank you later
but first I have to go shoot Will
before he gets something pierced.
Two cappuccinos.
Mr. Kraft?
(chuckles) You left your job for this?
Oh, yeah, that gig was strictly L-7.
Hey, you two peepsters savvy to any raves this weekend?
I'll just get those cappuccinos.
This is like a mercy killing.
Wow, Sabrina.
He wasn't bothering us that much.
Oh, this is all part of the training.
Police that slop tray. Now, mister!
(gasps)
Ooh, I have someplace very important to go.
Just call me the little Kraft who could.
And just call me the dream weaver.
Think fast, Kinkle!
Brad, don't!
SABRINA: No...!
You got me.
And it was my last day on the force.
Harvey. Harvey, speak to me.
I think he's going to survive.
What do you think this is, some kind of toy?
JOSH: Hey, that guy's
stealing the tip jar.
Citizens
go about your business.
Mighty Teen to the rescue!
I believe this is yours.
(man grunts) And I believe that's
frightened criminal for "I'm sorry."
(bystanders gasp)
Mighty Teen, away!
Was that Kinkle?!
Was he flying?
Yeah, that was Harvey flying.
He was trying to get away from Bigfoot and Elvis.
(chuckling): No more caffeine for you two.
There's got to be a way to reverse
this dream-come-true spell.
Here-- "once someone lives out their childhood dream
the spell will automatically end."
Great. Well, Harvey obviously wanted to be a super hero,
and now that he's saved the day at the coffeehouse,
he's fulfilled his childhood dream.
I bet he's
back to normal already.
I got to get curtains.
You got to reverse that spell.
Excuse me, but your cat was stuck up a tree.
Got a real kick out of his little fireman suit.
Well, you're brave, virile and easily entertained.
Come back next week.
He's going to be Abe Lincoln.
Yeah, I better go. The guys are going to get together
and watch the fights, eat some chili.
Just the guys, hanging around in our skivvies,
loading up on the musical fruit
and watching the sweet science,
and I'm not there?
I got to convince them I'm a real fireman.
Try losing the tail.
Oh, if you're thinking of trying that matchmaking service
take it from me-- specify "mammal."
I just read an e-mail from Willard.
He sounds so happy.
He says he's going to follow his dream.
Really?
Whatever could have gotten onto...?
I mean, into him?
I wonder what his dream is.
You know, is it a doctor or statesman or...?
(making airplane noises)
This.
Request clearance for sugar.
Oh, look, it's Baron von Emergency Landing.
(sarcastic laughter)
You know, they all laughed at Lindbergh, too.
But that'll change when I realize my lifelong dream
of recreating his flight across the Atlantic
in a tiny two-seater.
It certainly is a strange--
some might even say delusional-- dream,
but... good for you.
You have to admit, uh, I look...
(English accent): awfully dashing in goggles.
What's with the glasses?
Oh, I've had these for a while.
I mainly use them for sleeping.
Harvey, I know your childhood dream was to be Mighty Teen.
I've never met the lad, but I hear he's a nice fellow.
I need to know, what mission does he have to fulfill
or motto does he have to live up to?
Mighty Teen was put on this earth to save the world.
The whole world?
Or so I've been told.
These bathrooms are nothing but trouble.
They always run out of toilet paper.
Trouble?
Excuse me, I just remembered.
I left my notebook in...
this classroom.
When there's trouble around,
Mighty Teen will be found.
Oh, super.
Not Superteen.
Mighty Teen!
Kinkle, what are you doing?
This is one great senior prank, huh?
And yet there's nothing funny about poor hygiene, ma'am.
Mighty Teen, away!
I have to admit-- he really pulls off that cape.
Do you think bringing an economy size roll of toilet paper
to an empty bathroom would fulfill Mighty Teen's quest... ?
I'm going to stop talking now.
Well?
What do you think?
I wanted it to be just like Lindbergh's.
Wow.
Looks nothing like Lindbergh's
and yet, even though you used modern materials
you managed to make it so much...
less safe.
(chuckles)
Guess what I named her after?
Oh, Willard, you didn't.
Oh...
you didn't.
Yep. The Spirit of Westbridge.
See, I want my flight to be just like Lindy's--
right down to only taking one bologna sandwich
and a tiny bottle of water and a lawn chair to sit in.
Um, dear?
Mm-hmm?
I think it's wonderful
that you have your lunch meat and your terribly rickety chair
but what about
the small matter of flying experience?
Oh, well, if I get into trouble
I'll just fly square circles
until I can latch onto the proper longitude.
My, my.
You seem to have acquired
a great deal of aviation knowledge very suddenly...
almost magically.
Excuse me.
I have to go see my sister and... make some accusations.
Somewhere in these comic books
there has to be a story
where Mighty Teen saves the world.
All we have to do is recreate it
and Harvey'll go back to normal.
Here's one where Mighty Teen squeezes his radioactive zit
on his archnemesis.
Okay, gross, and keep looking.
You know, the good thing about
having changed Harvey into a superhero
is he'll never feel pain or die.
You obviously didn't read issue number 64,
where he died.... painfully.
Sorry.
Okay, more good news.
(siren wails)
What is that?
This is Red Eagle to Squad Leader.
We are in progress.
(static bursts)
Do you smell smoke?
(grunts)
Nothing to worry about, folks.
Keep it moving, and let the fireman do his job.
I hate to interfere with a pro,
so I have no problem doing this.
But I wanted to fight the fire
and prevent our home from incinerating.
Who started this fire, anyway?
Me.
ZELDA: Hilda?
Did you put some sort of spell on Willard?
I can honestly tell you that, yes,
there is a spell on him,
and I can honestly tell you that, no,
I didn't do it.
You know, it would have been a lot easier just to say
"Sabrina did it," Aunt Snitch.
Sabrina,
you are in serious trouble.
(rumbling)
Where there's trouble around,
Mighty Teen will be found!
Obviously, one of Mighty Teen's powers
is eavesdropping.
Let the girl go, oh, dark one!
I'm her aunt!
SABRINA: It's okay.
I did something wrong, and my aunt was upset with me.
A false alarm.
Much like the conundrum I faced in issue number 15:
"Requiem for a Mutant."
Mighty Teen, away!
Criminals, beware!
You've warned them.
Isn't that enough?
That was odd
but Harvey's strange behavior
couldn't have anything to do with Willard's.
I mean, there is no spell
that would make Willard want to fly across the ocean
and turn Harvey into a superhero.
Uh-huh. "Dream come true"...
or whatever you call that thing you made.
I knew it.
You put a childhood dream spell on Willard.
Y-You said you wanted him
to follow his dreams.
He's flying to Paris in a hunk of balsa wood!
Oh... that thing'll never get off the ground.
(engine roaring)
See you in 33 and a half hours!
He seemed happy.
Zellie, just a thought
but maybe you should go along with Willard
so that he doesn't, uh, die.
I can't.
Since Sabrina put the spell on him
only she can protect him.
But I have to protect Harvey.
Who knows what evil he's chosen to fight.
I mean, some criminals can be downright mean.
Sabrina, we are in triage.
My boyfriend's situation is worse right now,
and he doesn't have superpowers.
All right, I'll go,
but if you hear the anguished screams of Mighty Teen
will you please call the Justice League of America?
Boy, this spell has really gotten out of control.
Bad Sabrina!
WILLARD: I'm free!
Away from the world and its mundane little annoyances!
Hey!
(screams)
What are you doing here?
Oh, I'm not really here.
I'm a phantom,
just like Lindbergh hallucinated
after 20 hours of flying.
Yeah, but I've only been flying a few minutes.
Well, it's a much more fast-paced world.
Look at MTV.
(engine sputtering)
What's that noise that sounds like an engine failing?
T-T-That would be your-your engine failing--
um, usually a sure sign that we're going down.
Tempting, but...
(sputtering stops)
That's it, baby.
Yes. I knew you wouldn't let me down.
I hope you're in the mood for burritos,
'cause Paris, France, here we come!
E-6!
Stop trying to sink my battleship.
I'm trying to trace Willard and Sabrina's flight
over the Atlantic.
Well, I just want to tell you
about me fulfilling my childhood dream.
Later.
(muttering): One Mississippi,
two Mississippi...
there I was--
cut off from my squadron
and Lady Fahrenheit
was cranking up the jet.
With nothing more
than my wits to arm me,
I saved countless lives by subduing a raging brushfire.
This is coming out of your allowance
you little pyro!
You know, I don't think a daredevil like Lindy
would settle for a straight line.
Let's make this interesting.
Stop!
Where is your sense of adventure?
In my throat along with my stomach.
Ow!
Whoa! That was fun!
I can't straighten my finger out.
Yeah, well, why would you need to?
Just leave the driving to us.
¶ Come fly with me ¶
¶ Let's float, let's... ¶
Oh, sweet mother of mercy, we're out of gas.
Oh, no! My magic's out!
I knew I shouldn't have used the dials off of mother's stove!
No. It must have been because I jammed my finger.
Look, will you shut up about your finger!
I don't understand this.
I filled this plane with the exact same amount of gas
that Lindy did.
Yeah, but Lindbergh didn't waste all of his gas
circling over the Carnival cruise ships
trying to get a glimpse of Kathie Lee!
Oh, I just can't wait and worry.
Oh, don't be such a worrywitch.
Sabrina and Willard are going to be fine
and if anything goes wrong, Sabrina has her magic.
SABRINA: I guess this is it!
No. No, no!
No. This is it!
Mr. Kraft, this may be my last chance
to tell you how I feel about you.
Well, there's something I want to share with you, too, Sabrina.
Me first. You're an idiot!
You didn't even buy enough gas,
and now we're going down, you shovelhead!
Well, you give deadweight a bad name,
you whiny little stowaway!
Oh...
This is taking an awfully long time.
And it hasn't even hurt yet.
Are you on the rainbow bridge
being greeted by family members and old pets?
We're flying again.
Look!
What?
But... how?
And where's that music coming from?
When trouble's around, Mighty Teen really will be found!
My hero!
That sounds so phony in comic books, but now I get it.
Well, the emotions in comic books are real.
Just don't send away for the X-ray specs.
Ow! Oh...
I hurt my finger
in the world's most ill-advised barrel roll.
Well, lucky for you,
I have some teen Bactine in my utility belt.
At the risk of being redundant--
my hero!
Often heard but never tiresome.
Has my childhood dream come true?
Are we in Paris?
Yeah.
I mean, oui!
(screaming and cheering)
This must be just how Lindy felt.
I wonder how long it took his cheeks to wake up.
Is there any way I can talk you out of going off
to save the world?
But I already saved it.
You're my world.
Now I know why superman ruined Lois for other men.
What?
Uh... oh, essay
for my "comic books as literature" class.
(cheering) Hey, what's all that ruckus over there?
Bonjour, Monsieur Fromage.
French embassy come for Career Week?
I-I think everyone is just weirdly excited
to welcome Mr. Kraft back.
(victorious melody plays)
So, Willard remembers nothing?
Nada.
He's principal again
and even though the hours are long, the pay is short
and he's still ineffectual,
he says he's never been happier.
So maybe it's time for me to be out of the doghouse
for my childhood dream spell?
It looks like it worked.
Yeah, and that "peace with yourself" spell
that you put on Willard didn't hurt either.
Did it, Zellie?
What?! You really are Aunt Snitch, aren't you?
Why are you still dressed like that?
I thought you fulfilled your pitiful dream
of ruining my hairbrushes.
I want people to recognize me
from the Four-alarm
Fireman's Calendar.
I'm Mr. November.
Well, this will certainly change your image.
I know, I know, it's airbrushed.