Oh, man. You guys missed a great party last week.
- Say hello to your new foster family. - You're one of five wives?
- Married to a dude named Clyde? - Who's 65?
Would it be all right if my son Jonah came to visit?
Keep laughing. I will slit your throat while you sleep.
- Shoplifting is out of hand. - You have to stand up to him.
Tried that once with his father.
No, hold it like you wanna do something with it.
- Again? - What was I supposed to do? Shoot?
No touching the forbidden fruit until I'm knocked up.
Slept with someone. Not Kash.
- This was like a booty call. - Whatever.
Steve got a text from Candace. Is he dating someone else?
Who the fuck is Candace?
We work together. That's all.
- I'm home. - Little brother!
Hey, you.
Mm.
Okay, but you gotta promise.
Okay, I promise. I won't tell Fiona. Now, whose house is this?
I'm not sure.
What the hell are we doing here?
Trying to find out if Steve's cheating.
What?
Tell me that's not a woman's car parked out front.
Fiona is a big girl.
Fiona takes care of everyone, but no one takes care of Fiona.
Is this about Candace? Because Fiona knows about Candace.
She won't do anything. Too proud. So we have to.
You're a sweet kid, Debs.
Hey, bounce, come on
Bounce, come on Bounce, come on, bounce
Everybody, just bounce, come on
Bounce, come on Bounce, come on
Bounce, bounce
I've just got this feeling About to lose control
Did you purposefully order a Sex on the Beach so I'd say it to the gay bartender?
Maybe. Maybe I was hoping you'd actually take me away...
so we could have sex on a beach.
I could barely get you overnight in a local hotel.
Well, that was then. This is now.
I just feel like I haven't seen a lot of you lately.
You mean that you'd like to see more of me?
Yes. I guess that's what I'm saying.
Usually by this time in a relationship...
guy starts just showing up for booty calls, or wants me to meet his mother.
Either way, I start looking for reasons to walk.
Well, my mom is in Michigan, so you don't have to worry.
I think that's the first time you've ever mentioned your family.
Really?
Not much to say. I mean...
they live in Michigan.
The whole state?
No. Near Detroit.
Uh, Dad used to work for GM, so I try to send back what I can to help.
Family business. He builds them. You steal them.
Come on, let's dance.
Come on.
Liam is officially asleep.
That was fast.
Yeah, well, three pages from Deb's Eat Pray Love and he's out.
If James Franco wasn't in the movie, I would've nodded off too.
You got any cash you can float me? Florence and the Machine are playing...
the Chicago Theatre. I wanna take Karen for her birthday.
Pricey gift. Things getting serious?
Fuck off. She's my best friend.
Okay? You know I never spend that kind of cash on a girl anyway.
All right. Well, I got a Hamilton. It's yours.
Thanks, man.
One, two, three.
God bless Jonah, my sweet baby boy.
And God bless my husband, Clyde.
May those caring for him remind him to take his blood-pressure supplement...
and his glucosamine chondroitin supplement...
so that he can bend down to pick up our child.
God bless the other wives who are on their knees now...
asking you to bless me. - Separated from her kid. Gotta suck.
Hopefully, the visit with him tomorrow will cheer her up.
I'm kind of excited about it. Having a full house. Two kids.
Don't get too excited. It's only temporary.
Temporary, Kevin.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Mm-hm.
Are you gonna put those in my ass? I'm not even gonna feel it.
They're earplugs, babe. And they're for her.
That would have sucked, trying to fish those out.
Hey.
Wakey, wakey, Jackie Chan.
Who the fuck are you?
I'm Frank.
Oh, my God.
Did we?
Oh, now, now.
Chins up.
Fuck off.
How'd you know it was me?
I was talking to my Promise Makers group and I want you to know...
that I understand that so much of your bad behavior is my responsibility.
If you leave a dog in the house alone for more than eight hours...
you can't get mad at him for peeing the rug, right?
I found this in an album in the basement.
I don't know.
Maybe we can try to capture more moments like these together.
Why is it that I feel like you can't get away from me fast enough?
- Ha-ha-ha! - Because you're paranoid.
What happened to that computer class you were gonna take?
They canceled it. Not enough people, I guess.
Liam's gonna be up. I gotta get him fed and dressed...
and to the clinic for some shots. Don't tell Jenny McCarthy.
Hey, Debs.
Steve.
Liam up yet?
Squawking a little. So everything cool with, uh, you and Steve?
What? Why?
No reason. I'm just checking in.
Hi, baby bottoms. Did you have sweet dreams?
I thought I was baby bottoms.
No, I said you have a baby bottom.
I swore I would never date a guy whose ass was smaller than mine.
But I seem to be breaking a lot of my own rules lately, don't I? Don't I?
He's assuming that was rhetorical.
Hey, you wanna come by tonight after Liam's down?
V gave me a copy of Queen of Outer Space.
Zsa Zsa Gabor at her finest.
We could watch it. And not watch it.
- I gotta go to work. - Okay.
Mm. Ahh.
Hey, Steve.
Debs, breakfast?
I'm good.
- Breakfast! - Hey, can I get a ride to the library?
Motorcycle. No can do.
- When did you get a motorcycle? - Always had one.
I guess there's a lot I don't know about you.
Truth? I'm in the CIA and this is all just a cover.
Any calls, Kate?
Yeah, actually, some A-hole was looking for you. Left this number.
Hand me the phone, will you?
Your tab is bigger than my ass and you smell like kimchi and vomit.
Now, stop that. Your ass looks great.
Like you in the sack, make it quick.
I wasn't quick. I was just busy that day.
Hello.
Yes. I have Frank Gallagher calling.
Hey, Frankie. Got great news.
Who the fuck is this?
Your settlement is in.
Yeah. Which one?
Yeah. Come see me. I'll give you the 411.
Hey, everybody, next round's on me.
Kev. Veronica.
Didn't you just clean that yesterday?
Child Protective Services is bringing my baby, Jonah, for a visit.
Everything has to be just so.
You're so lucky you have a baby.
How old are you?
Ten and a quarter.
Two more years and you'll be old enough to start trying.
Does it hurt?
Sexual relations or childbirth?
Both.
Yes.
He's such a douche bag.
He's on this whole father-daughter purity-ball kick.
Fuck!
He wants me to take a vow of celibacy...
so we can rekindle our father-daughter relationship.
Maybe we could not talk about your father right now.
Not what you had in mind for dirty talk?
Not exactly, no. Unh!
Fuck!
Oh, shit!
Shh! Carl's right outside. Shh!
- Oh, fuck! Fuck! - Fuck.
Oh, shit! Oh!
- Shh! Shit! - Keep going!
Yes. Shatterproof, my ass.
Wanna go to the planetarium tonight and get high?
I can't. I'm busy.
- Doing what? Danielle? - Less you know, the better.
Are we still on for Friday night?
Yeah.
Can you give me a hint?
Yeah, but not gonna.
Aha.
Crucial Confrontations.
Haven't seen you here in a while.
Been kind of busy, Simon.
I got a signed first edition of Harry Potter.
Overrated. Made a better movie than a book.
And now with all those kid actors grown up...
they're scarier looking than the villains.
Hey, can you help me on the computers?
What do you wanna do?
Dig up some dirt.
Name?
Steve. Wilson? Wilton?
You need to know what the name is before you can look it up.
Try "Wilton." In Lake Forest.
There are zero in Illinois, but there are 15 of them nationwide.
- Can you do it backwards? - "Notliw"?
No, I mean, if I give you an address, can you work from there?
Hey, um, maybe sometime we could just casually hang out.
Fine. Fine, yes. We can casually hang out.
1055 North Ave.
Says the property owners are Lloyd and Candace Lishman.
Hello, Ms. D-Lish.
- Cool. Then we can hang out sometime? - We just did.
She opened an ING Direct savings account.
Hasn't kept any large bills in there for months. Believe me, I've looked.
- You know where she is? - No idea. How much you need?
- Gotta buy concert tickets. - Yikes.
Wish I had it. Maybe you should take Mrs. Niedereiter up on her offer.
Well, that should do it, Mrs. Niedereiter.
There are a lot of dark corners around my house...
that could use some attention, Phillip.
- Thanks for the idea. - You're not seriously gonna do it?
- Mommy. - No.
But I could smash her birdhouse again.
Hey...
what do you think of Steve?
Ass is kind of small. Not really my type.
You about to retreat and count your wounded?
No, just...
I just wanna know if I should trust him.
That's like asking if you should believe in God.
Just be yourself.
Okay. Okay.
Here we go.
Hi. Come in.
Jonah, baby! Mama missed you so much.
Hi, baby. Hi.
Good afternoon.
- I'm Kev. Mm-hm.
This is my wife, Veronica.
Hello. Good afternoon.
How you doing? I'm Andréa Johnson from DCFS...
and I'm here to observe the home visit today.
So if everything go good, then baby Jonah may stay overnight.
Is your voice dressed up for Halloween?
Excuse me?
Think we don't know how to, ha-ha-ha, raise a child?
Come tell me I don't know how to be a mother?
Uh, you got it wrong, sister girl.
I'm here to see how Ethel mothers, not you.
What do you mean? Oh, please. Have a seat.
That girl is only 13 years old, but she's still got her parental rights.
I need to make sure the child can handle the child. You feel me?
Mm-hm. - Yeah. I feel you.
Oh, baby Jonah. Look at you.
You're hung like a little bear, aren't you?
Hey, Andrea?
- Andréa. - Andréa.
You think we could apply to get baby Jonah as a foster kid too?
That's gonna be a crap load of paperwork...
but we do encourage keeping family members together.
Yay!
All right, then.
Uh, Eddie's just down in the basement. He'll be right up.
And, of course, you will all get your shoes back when you go, so don't worry.
It'd be great if mine came back shined.
That would be great.
But at last came a knock
And I thought of the door With no lock to lock.
Robert Frost. I was a poetry major in college.
- If you'll open your Bibles to Psalms... - Oh, sweetie.
- 127 verses three to five. - Okay. Um...
"Children are a heritage of the Lord..."
You guys? Okay.
Oh, sweetie.
Oh!
Oh, you are ripe.
Nothing a little Puerto Rican bath can't fix.
Honey. Where were you last night?
I had to spend the night with the kids.
- They needed a little Frankie time. - Oh.
You're such a good dad. Ha-ha-ha.
Oh! Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Sorry, folks, I had a little plumbing issue.
The house is not mine.
- Lou? - Frankie boy. How's it hanging?
Still from the left. Where the hell are you?
Jesus, it's hard to take a piss with this thing on.
That's a lie. It was the wiping that was tough.
This from the escalator thing at the mall?
No, no, no. This is the train doors closing on your ankle.
- Right. I haven't been the same since. - Yeah.
All I need is your signature and Monica's, and the money is all yours.
With the exception of a third of it. It goes to me.
Plus expenses.
Sounds fair.
Me.
And Monica.
Yay. That was a hell of a warm-up. Unfortunately, those aren't the originals.
You two will have to go down to the city legal offices and do it in person.
What? I'm supposed to take off work to go do this?
Of course not, because, as you know...
this injury's prevented you from working, remember?
Oh, shit.
Hey, look at that.
Client just went into labor.
Is that gonna be a problem? Getting Monica to sign?
No. Why would it be a problem?
Well, if memory serves, she was a summa cum laude cunt.
Yeah, well, she was a lot of things.
You even know where she is?
- I have a phone number. I'll make it happen. - Uh-huh. I hope so.
She's a joint claimant on this thing. No Monica, no money.
Do me a favor. Feed the dogs before you go?
Bag of dog food in my desk drawer. Thanks, buddy.
Yeah.
Mm!
All right. Come on.
Get off of her.
Hey, man. It's Lip. I'm calling you from a phone booth.
Just hit me back at whatever number comes up on your cell. It's important.
Thanks for taking long enough to let me enjoy the scent of urine.
I didn't know phone booths existed anymore.
What's up? Sounded urgent.
Yeah. I was just wondering. You, uh...?
- You think you can loan me a couple bills? - I can pay you for a job.
- You got a driver's license? - Few of them, yeah.
All right. Meet me by the EL at 11.
Are you screwing my sister's boyfriend?
If you're selling cookies, that's a hell of an opening line.
Do come in.
Can I get you something?
Milk? Soda?
A joint? It's medicinal.
No, thank you, Mrs. Lishman.
How do you know Steve?
Who is Steve?
He's my sister's boyfriend.
How nice.
So he's not pushing it into you?
Hey, Mom, me and Chip are gonna swing by the hospital to see Dad...
so you can relax tonight. - Oh!
- Okay? - Thank you, Jimmy.
You take such good care of your Mama Bear.
Mwah!
- Oh! Uh, this is, oh... - Debbie.
Debbie Gallagher.
Nice to meet you. Jimmy.
Jimmy is my youngest.
Top of his class at Michigan in med school.
He is going to be a cardiothoracic surgeon...
like his big brother and his daddy.
He has been taking such good care of me...
since his father went into the hospital.
A fender bender.
Broke his knee cap.
And you know, doctors make the worst patients.
Would you like to stay for dinner, sweetheart?
Oh, shit. I liked her.
Hello? Hello?
Shit! Shit!
Shit, shit, shit!
Frank?
Frank, I certainly hope you're not pooping in there. It's a closet.
Frank?
You didn't poop in there, did you?
- I was waiting to surprise you. - Oh.
- Surprise! - Aah!
You got me!
Oh, Frankie.
Hey, do me a favor.
Call this number and ask if Monica is there.
And if she is, tell her...
congratulations, she's won.
Who's Monica?
- Doesn't matter. - What'd she win?
Uh, I don't know, whatever. A lottery. Something.
- Lottery? - A prize.
A teddy bear.
What for?
Jesus, with the questions already.
Just call. Say it's a teddy bear. And a hundred bucks.
And she has to pick it up. Just say that.
Well...
I hope this Monica...
whoever she is...
worked really hard for this prize.
- Sheils. - I didn't get a teddy bear.
Sheil. Shit.
Hey.
Come on.
She didn't really win a teddy bear.
But you wanna know what?
If I was giving away teddy bears...
you would be absolutely top of the list.
If you will do this for me...
I will dress up any way you want.
No safety word.
Is this Monica?
Well, hello. This is Sheila from Market Promotions.
Can I ask you where you do all of your grocery shopping?
Well, yes. That's right.
You've won. First prize. Congratulations.
It's $100.
- And a teddy bear. - Yes.
- And... What? - Teddy bear.
- And a teddy bear!
And a great big teddy bear.
Hello?
- What? - Yeah.
- She's crying. - Oh, fuck.
Yeah. No, I've never won anything either.
No one cares.
- It's so great. Yeah. I'm thrilled. - Zip it.
I'm thrilled for you.
Get to the fucking point.
Anyway, prizes will be given out at 3:00.
At the store.
Yes.
WGN's own Tom Skilling will be presenting.
What? What?
She doesn't know Tom Skilling.
- I don't know Tom Skilling. - He does the weather.
Tom Skilling does the weather on WGN.
Anyway, 3:00 on the dot.
- Jim Ramsey might be there too. - Oh, Jesus Christ.
- He does weekend weather. Okay. - Hang up.
Congratulations. See you there, Monica.
What did she say? Is she coming?
How can you not know who two of Chicago's weathermen are?
What kind of person is this Monica?
Is she coming to get the fucking prize or not?
Yeah. She... Oh, she's going.
She's excited about that teddy bear.
You know, not sure I can prove it, but I think it's colder on the North Side.
Let me take you home, Debs.
I'm not supposed to take rides from strangers...
and it's clear that you are a stranger.
Oh, man.
Are you gonna tell Fiona?
Exactly what am I supposed to tell her?
That your name isn't Steve?
That you have a family in Chicago she's never met?
Or that your mom kisses you on the lips? Which is really gross.
Life gets really complicated when you're an adult.
I mean, you can't possibly understand these things right now.
I understand that you lied to my sister. Why?
Because I was raised by a pack of wolves.
Just like you were. Only my wolves went to Harvard.
They have red wolves at Lincoln Park Zoo.
Maybe we could go check them out sometime.
Trying to distract me by asking me out on a date?
I do not wanna be a doctor. I do not wanna be like the rest of my family.
What I want is Fiona. I love her.
Love is fleeting, Jimmy. What are your intentions?
You're distracting her, and I need her in the game for at least a few more years.
I can't have you breaking her heart or running off with her.
So if you're not serious about sticking around, back off now.
I bought her a house. Is that serious enough?
You what?
Come on. I'll show you.
- Really? - Yeah.
Yes! Yes!
This was Mr. Harris' house.
They said he died of lung cancer, but we're pretty sure it was full-blown AIDS.
Oh, my God!
- Has Fiona seen it? - No, she doesn't know about it yet.
I was gonna fix it up a bit and surprise her when the time is right.
Think we could build an aboveground walkway...
that connects the two houses?
What, like a Habitrail tube?
That would be awesome.
Are you gonna tell Fiona?
Don't know yet, Jimmy.
Saw a really cool pink vest at the mall.
Really?
And I could use a new rolling pin and flour sifter.
Sheila's teaching me how to bake.
Anything else?
Not for the moment.
So which room would be mine when I sleep over?
Not going out with that Gallagher degenerate tonight?
Good. You deserve better.
I've been reading more about this purity-ball thing.
It says here you can rededicate yourself as a virgin.
Start over. Isn't that nice?
I mean, you show up, you confess your transgressions...
and pledge yourself to be pure again in the eyes of the Lord.
I'll give you the damn car.
Really?
Fiona would be pissed if she knew you were into this shit with me.
Well, what she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?
All right. Task at hand, you'll be driving the follow car.
Golden rule: Always use a follow car.
- Hey, silver Mercedes. - And a security camera at the intersection.
Why don't we head up to some asshole town like Lake Forest?
- Plenty of douche-mobiles. - No.
- I was thinking... - Listen. No.
Two hundred bucks to follow me after I lift the car.
You get your concert tickets, I get my work done. That's it. Okay?
All right, man.
Shit.
Rule number two: Always remember where you parked the follow car.
Fuck.
Monica.
Monica?
Deb.
Jimmy.
Fiona's next door with Liam.
That my shut-up gift?
Well, I like to think of it as a peace offering.
A peace offering implies a one-time thing.
This could take a while.
How long?
Until I'm sure that you're not still lying.
Okay.
I gotta get back up to Lake Forest. They're releasing my dad.
I'm gonna take him home. You know everything there is to know.
No more secrets. I promise.
Sifter sifts and rolling pin rolls.
Nice when things do what they say they will.
- Jimmy. - Steve.
- Is this your idea of a joke? - No, ma'am.
Because you're scared of women with an opinion.
- No. - Yeah?
Yeah? Watch this, crinkle-dick. Oh, yeah, I'll show you what's funny...
when I rip your fucking face off your fucking head!
- Bob. Bob. No. No. No. - Out of the way, Monica.
- Get out of my way! Out of the way, now.
Put the shovel down. Let's just leave.
- Just go. - I'm sorry.
Who lies about a teddy bear?
Wasting my fucking time! Are you sure this is the right store?
- Yes! - Did they specifically say this store?
Yes! I told you. Yes. I wrote it down. I wrote everything down.
Stop talking to me like I'm stupid.
Frank?
- Frank! - What?
Frank!
Start the car!
What?
- Go, go, go! - What the fuck, Frank?
- She saw me. - What's going on?
Come on! We gotta get out of here! Go!
I'm gonna rip it off when I catch you!
- Can't this piece of shit go any faster? - No!
Monica's batting for the other team.
- What? - My wife's a lesbian.
Shit!
- No. No. No. - Shut up, Frank.
No. No.
Fuck off, lesbos!
Okay. My advice to you would be to let Fiona live in her own relationship.
You can't do it for her.
There's things she should know.
Well, sometimes, sweetie, when people are in love...
they don't tell someone everything for a reason.
That's like lying.
No, sweetie, it's just... It's a little editing.
Now, by sifting, see, we separate and aerate those flour particles...
to make them absorb liquids better.
Someone should sift my dad.
Ha, ha. You Gallaghers. You're all so funny.
- Frank! This is bullshit! - Lock the door! Lock the door!
What is happening?
- It's okay. - I thought we lost them.
Did you even have a plan back there?
I was going to charm her into signing once she was there.
How was I supposed to know she would show up...
with ghetto Godzilla in a Peterbilt?
I am seriously this close to punching you in the dick.
Get... They're just girls.
Stop. You talk to them.
I need the key to the back door.
That is not a sexual euphemism. I need the fucking key.
What did you do with it?
I don't know. I can't think when you yell!
I'm not! What did you do with the key?
- You're still yelling. - I need the key, Sheila!
Okay. It's by the... It's by the... It's by the washing machine.
- It's not by the washing machine. - It is.
- I put it by the washing machine. - It's not by...
Mom.
It's Mom.
Debbie.
My sweet pea.
What the fuck are you looking at?
- I got nothing to do with it. - Sit.
- I'm just the driver. - Sit your ass down.
That was a nasty trick. Even for you, Frank.
I had my heart set on that teddy bear.
Poor Monica. Well, what about your kids?
Remember? The six kids?
Youngest was only 2 months old before you ran off...
ended up with fucking Shrek here.
- You want me to step in? - No. I didn't leave you, Frank.
Yes, you did.
I didn't choose to leave my family. You almost destroyed me.
When I turned up at Roberta's that night...
- ... I was an emotional cripple. - Emotional cripple.
- With not one ounce of self-respect. - Bullshit.
- I'm gonna start crying. - You drove me into the ground, Frank.
You robbed me of any sense of dignity I ever had and...
Where's the rest of the kids?
- They're out playing. - They live down at Fiona's.
You mind putting some bags on?
Can you put some bags on your feet, please?
- Bags on my feet? - Yeah, I need you to put bags on.
- Don't, don't, don't. - Hell hath no fury like popcorn burned.
All right.
- Steve coming? - Hope so.
Are you guys gonna make a baby while we watch Cosmos?
Because that's gonna make me throw up.
- Billions and billions of sperm. - Ew!
- Can you please turn it on already? - Yeah, hurry up, I gotta get back to work.
Cool.
Shaped our evolution...
Hey.
- And what our fate may be.
- Missed you, stranger. - You too.
Get a room.
- Get your tickets? - Yeah. Thanks.
Glad I could help.
Glad you're glad.
Steve.
Boy.
This popcorn's burnt.
Our microwave sucks.
It doesn't mean I want you to buy us a new one.
Universes smaller than atoms.
- But it's also a story of our own planet... - Debs?
and the plants and animals...
- Honey, what happened? - Dad have one too many again?
You just gotta ignore him when he's like that, Debs.
Why do you always blame Dad first?
Who else is there?
She's over at Sheila's.
- Who? - Monica.
Exquisite interrelationships...
of the awesome machinery of nature.
- Who the hell is Monica? - Our mother.
Shore of the cosmic ocean.
On this shore...
- Debs, did you s...? - What do you care?
You'll be living with Steve in that house he bought next door.
Surprise.
Because the cosmos is also within us.
We're made of stars. We are...
- I'm going to work. - Ian, come on. Wait.
Mommy. Mommy.
I know.
Mommy.
What the fuck?
- I need to see you. - Not a good time.
Who keeps hanging their fucking laundry on my pull-up bar?
I don't know where else to go.
I thought you were working today.
Linda's gonna have my ass. I'm supposed to be there now.
I'll meet you there in 20.
- Aw, bullshit! - Yes!
- You physically abused me. - What? When?
- That 4th of July. - Oh, come on!
You hit me in the face with a tray of apple pandowdy.
And you hit me back.
Yeah, after you broke my nose and scratched my cornea.
Oh, yeah? What about this?
Oh, come on! You started that one!
And I'll finish it if you lay a finger on her.
- Roberta. - "Bob." Only Moni calls me Roberta.
All right. Well, Bob, perhaps we're just in the way here.
And we should make our exit and leave Monica for her apologies.
Apologies? For walking out on this piece of shit?
No. For walking out on them.
Oh, my God.
It's all right. I'm not one of yours. Just came to rubberneck.
Ian! I did it!
Linda's pregnant! Ian!
Finally knocked her up! Where are you? I did it!
It's over!
What the fuck?
You're all so big.
Thank you.
I missed you so much.
Why didn't you take us with you?
Because...
I knew you'd be fine with Fiona.
Fucking right, you keep your mouth shut.
You better keep it shut.
You hear me?
Put the candy back, Mickey.
Mm. That's sweet.
I like them sweet.
But then, uh, so do you, huh? Ha, ha.
Put it back. Now.
Fuck.
- Kash, what are you doing? - It's a fucking Snickers bar.
- Fuck! - Holy shit!
- Jesus Chr... - Okay.
- You okay? - Fuck.
- Hey. Hey. Listen to me. Look at me. - You fucking suck!
I thought you were at work.
There was a shooting.
Mickey and Kash.
Holy shit. Mickey shot Kash?
- Kash shot Mickey. - What?
In the leg. He's fine. Just wanted to get out of there before the cops got there.
Huh.
What'd I miss with Mom?
Well, you know how Dad's a total fucking asshole?
Yeah.
Turns out he's the good one.
I can't believe you sucked me back in here for money.
I did no such thing!
But since you're in town, why don't you sign up for this little thing...
- ... and I'll cut you in. - Fuck you, Frank!
Wait. You brought her back here?
Oh, Ian.
Wait. You knew where she was the whole time?
This little reunion was bound to happen sooner or later, anyway.
We were thinking about coming around to talk to you.
- No, no. Not now. - Yes, now! Yes, now!
Moni and I wanna take Liam to live with us.
- What? - Over my dead body!
How about Moni sign whatever the hell it is you need, we get Liam?
- Done. - No fucking way!
You can't have Liam.
Why the hell not? He's not even Frank's.
Fact is Liam is black.
All you white folks scooping up black babies...
like fashion accessories have a rude awakening coming.
No. There will be a backlash if people don't stop underestimating...
the cultural importance of a black parent raising a black baby.
Liam needs me and he's coming with us.
No. Out of the fucking question, Roberta.
Roberta and I wanna start a family of our own.
How about you finish this one first?
- Taking Liam? - Yes!
- No. Nobody's taking anyone anywhere. - You don't get to abandon your kids...
and then show up one day to take your pick of the litter.
Oh, now, that's not fair.
Your mother's made mistakes, but she's here now.
- That's got to count for something. - Shut up, Frank!
This isn't about you.
This is about you.
This is about what you didn't do.
It's about what I did.
And you know what? I did a fucking great job.
Debbie is class president.
She's on the debate team going to nationals.
And Lip, he's top of his class.
He set the curve.
Ian was promoted in ROTC and he tested out of English.
And Carl made something blow up for his science fair. And you know what?
They did it all, no thanks to you, because you weren't here.
And I appreciate that, Fiona, but I'm here now...
and Liam belongs with me.
- He doesn't even know who you are. - I'm his mother!
You were my mother too!
I don't! I don't know!
Maybe I'll never be able to make things right with you...
but there's still time with Liam.
And, Debbie and Carl...
I am so sorry if I hurt you.
Please. I love you so much.
Please let me be your mommy again.
Please.
Oh!
You know what?
You're right.
You are their mother.
And you're here now, so I'm done.
I'm done with the school and the bills and the clinics.
I'm done.
They're all yours now, Mom.
Good luck.
It's okay.
Come here.
Show me the house?
Yeah.