Edited at https://subtitletools.com
This programme has strong language from the start, violence, drug use and scenes of a sexual nature.
Know what I like about your body?
No.
One boob's bigger than the other.
Sid, what do you think of my tits?
You know there are other girls, don't you?
Who? Where?
Will you stay? Please.
OK.
How did that music competition go? Did you win? No.
What is he doing with the posh bitch?
Mum!
Do you think she's gone, mate?
I think we should go on a date.
What, us?
We don't have to have...
OK.
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS
♪ He-e-e-e-y!
♪ Hey, we're all right today. ♪
(MAN SHOUTS) Sid!
Yeah, sorry. It's just there was a...
Now, this is exactly what I'm talking about, Sid.
OK? Lack of concentration, inability to focus, nada commitment.
Now, this piece of coursework I have marked "ungraded".
Ungraded? What?
I can't pass him with this mark.
Fucking hell!
Mark, please. Now, with this mark...
Not you, Mark, this mark.
..you have failed the entire year.
He's what?
He's failed the entire year.
Sod, you... sidding... idiot!
Ah, hold on, there's no need to panic.
Because I fought for you, Sid, I really did,
and got you an extension.
It was hard, but I worked at it, and I got it.
Right?
Got what right?
No, I got it. Right?
So... 2,000 words on Lech Walesa, Solidarity and the collapse of Soviet power.
Jesus Christ!
You've got two days. Get your head down.
You better fucking believe he's getting his head down.
You can say goodbye to sunshine, Sunshine. You are grounded.
Put it this way. Let's change and develop. OK?
Thanks, Tom. We're all very grateful for this second chance.
Aren't we, Mark?
Yes. Thank you very much.
Oh, yes, my boy! We're going to do this my way now!
You hear me? The gravy train has terminated!
Terminated! You lazy little fucker.
Mark!
Did Tony fail this?
No.
No, of course not! And why? Why didn't he fail it?
He doesn't do history.
Right!
You are going to get something... something right,
if it's the last thing I ever do. What's your next class?
Drama...
Right. Drama. Home. Coursework.
Fucking perfection! Or else.
Why are you talking in very short sentences?
Emphasis! Drama! Fuck off!
Honestly, Sid, you know this upsets people.
Sorry.
Just... give it a try, OK?
OK. (SIGHS)
(WOMAN) OK, everyone. Everyone reach.
Oh, Christ...
(WOMAN) Reach up. Stretch out your leaves. >
Why don't you go to the green and get stoned instead?
No. No, you mustn't.
That would be bad. Bad, do you hear?
And you're a good boy really. Good. Drama.
Fuck it... be bad!
Be good. Drama!
Fuck it!
Drama...
Shut up... will you?
Pretty nice gear, huh?
Yeah, very funny.
Where you going?
I gotta go to this lesson.
Fuck it, man.
Fuck it?
Fuck it.
Yeah, let's go.
Right, Donny, you fart once more and you're out. >
Sid?
Hi. Wow, Maxxie, you look all horny.
You can tell?
Sid... I just wanted to remind you of our date tonight.
Oh... Shit.
Thing is, Cass, my dad kinda grounded me.
I gotta do coursework.
Oh, wow.
I was really...
I didn't eat for three days so I could be lovely.
Er, sorry?
Maybe I'll come over and say hello.
I dunno. Maybe.
Safe.
Wow.
Go on, give her one.
That would be so bad!
I bet she bangs like a ferret on acid!
CHURCH BELLS CHIME
Hey.
I didn't know which one to get. They were both so pretty.
Anyway, I got them both.
What do you think? Which skirt? This goes with my slutty green top.
This one is more virgin.
Yeah?
Tony? Which skirt?
Hmm?
Oh, yeah, it's nice.
Are you listening? I'm asking what to wear to Tribe Of Frog tomorrow?
Did you ask Chris about pills?
We can have Mitsubishis.
Is that OK, Tone?
Tone? >
Wear that one to Tribe Of Frog, and that one to my choir concert.
Choir concert? When?
Tonight. You and Sid are coming to hear me sing.
Are we? How come?
It just occurred to me how much fun it could be.
"'Russia... was... a... Superpower..."
"And...
Er... "Lech Walesa...
"was a...
"Polish..." Er...
"man... who..."
What the fuck did he do? Erm...
Bollocks.
SQUEAKING
CAR APPROACHES
Fuck it.
CLATTERING
Right, you have been warned!
Oh, yes, I warned you! This is what happens.
No telly.
No stereo.
No... Asian Fanny Fun.
That should be enough to help you concentrate. Is it?
Yes, Dad.
Yes. Thank you. You'll thank me for this one day.
CLATTERING
fucking stairs, you silly cow!
Bugger.
(SIGHS)
Ah, for fuck's sake.
Ah, yeah. That's better.
Oh, yeah. Ah, yeah.
I'm just gonna go out and come back in again. OK?
Would you?
Oh, fuck!
KNOCK AT DOOR
Hello.
Yeah, er, come in!
All right, Sid? Thought you might need a hand.
With your coursework. Shall we let some air in here?
Yeah.
That's better. Is that a picture of my girlfriend?
Wondered where that went.
Right then.
Russia... Lech Walesa...
Jesus, Sid.
"The USSR model could be described as a relationship
"of control and manipulation, but events in the G..."
Gdansk.
".. shipyard in the autumn of 1980 was the beginning of a..."
That's some really good bullshit.
Not a problem. OK, let's go.
Where to?
My choir concert.
Don't tell me you forgot.
I can't. I'm grounded.
Don't be such a fucking vagina. This is gonna be special.
Anyway, I need someone to keep Michelle company.
Michelle's coming?
Oh, yes. Nips'll be there.
And you'll wanna see this. Trust me.
Sorry about that. You won't tell her, will you?
She thinks the world of you, Sid. Really.
And things run their course. You get bored.
Are you gonna tell me what you're talking about?
You'd better be doing some fucking work. Hi, Tony. How's things?
Not bad, Mark. Is that landfill survey finished?
Yeah, no problem. Yeah.
Actually, it's quite an interesting analysis of decomposition rates.
But look, actually, er, Sid's got some work to do now, so...
OK. Hope to see you very soon, Sid.
Nice to see you, Mark.
What?
Why could you not be like...
Why did I...?
Ow!
♪ YEAH YEAH YEAHS: Date With The Night
♪ I got a date with the night
♪ Pullin' out my finger
♪ Gonna catch the kids dry
♪ Gonna walk on water
♪ Buying out the fight
♪ We're sweatin' in the winter
♪ Both thighs squeeze tight
♪ Oh! ♪
'Mega Dog to the rescue! Attack, attack! Woof-woof!'
with your fucking little looks and
Never saying anything.
Captain fucking Calamity up there.
completely fucking useless.
I sometimes wonder if he's even mine.
Oh, he's yours all right, Mark.
'Mega Dog's trying to tell us something!
'Woof, woof, woof! Woof, woof!'
Hi, Sid. We're just talking.
Right. Talking, yeah.
Get on with your coursework. We need to do some more... talking.
You see what you've done now?
What I've done?
Yes, what you've done.
You stupid, stupid man.
What do you mean, stupid? Don't call me stupid.
I am not a stupid man. If you would listen for a second to what's...
What are you doing here, anyway?
Well, I heard "choirgirls" so I came.
Shall we?
I said if they can't fucking educate her, then I'll take
my business elsewhere.
Four fucking grand a term and the girl gets three GCSEs?
That's the return on my investment?
Where's my margin? What do they think we are?
Fucking stupid or something...
♪ God Only Knows
♪ Na-na-na-na na-na... ♪
Where's Tony?
I don't know. Fuck! We'd better be at the right concert.
No, it's definitely here.
♪ You never need to doubt it
♪ I'll make you so sure about it
♪ God only knows what I'd be without you... ♪
Beach Boys, man. Fucking top!
I don't understand this. Where is he?
Hold on.
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪
No, no, no, look, there he is.
'Mega Dog to the rescue!
'Attack, attack! Woof-woof!
♪ I may not always love you
♪ But as long as there are stars above you
♪ You'll never need to doubt it
♪ I'll make you so sure about it
♪ God only knows what I'd be without you
♪ If you should ever leave me
♪ Though life would still go on, believe me
♪ The world could show nothing to me
♪ So what good would living do me?
♪ God only knows what I'd be without you
♪ God only knows, God only knows what I'd be without you
♪ Waa-ohhh. ♪
♪ Play, David, play
♪ David, play on your harp, Hallelu, Hallelujah
♪ David, play on your harp
♪ Hallelu... ♪
Hi. I just wanted to... I'm sorry, OK! I'm sorry.
(GIRLS SCREAM)
♪ And I need you now tonight
♪ And I need you more than ever... ♪
What the fuck?
Um. Excuse me?
Hi. Just checking Abi's diaphragm contractions.
What the hell is going on?
The simple act of performance, sweetie. What did you think?
Bullshit, Tony. You fucking sick...
God, you're such a wanker.
Here...
Fuck you.
Fluffy teddy-bear?
That's my lucky teddy!
And you can fuck off, too!
Well... Michelle. I'm just wondering why you're overreacting like this.
Overreacting?
Right in my face, you whore!
You know, typically, episodes of paranoia might
be symptomatic of a wide range of emotional and mental issues.
Maybe, you know, you need some help with the outbursts.
My mother's a psychologist, she could...
Oh!
Ow! I'll kill you, you fucking flat-chested cocksucking
spastic horse-fucker!
Whoa, good swearing.
Bye, Tony.
Later, Nips.
Abi, wonder if you could give me and Sid a minute.
Yes... I need my medication.
See, told you it'd be worth coming for.
Looks like me and 'Chelle are on a break.
You did that on purpose?
Go after her. What?
Life throws up so few opportunities...
But she's your girlfriend.
Who you love. What?
Change. It's a wonderful thing.
Look, you know how subatomic particles don't obey physical laws?
They act according to chance, chaos, coincidence...
They run into each other in the middle of the universe,
and, bang! Energy.
We're the same as that.
That's the great thing about the universe. Unpredictable.
That's why it's so much fun.
I'm... just gonna go see if she's OK, all right?
Sid.
Bang!
Michelle would never... never fuck a horse.
OK, so this line, here means you're gonna live
till you're at least 80,
and this line here, that
means you should be careful around electricity pylons and crocodiles...
Cwocodiwes? That's right.
All right, daarlin'! 'Ad a bad night?
Piss off.
What's your problem? You giving us cheek? No.
She so is.
Hey, Ems, this girl is being rude to Char and Shall...
She's giving us cheek. Yeah?
Fuck off out of my way.
You givin' them cheek?
Cheek...
She so is.
No.
D'ya wanna fight?
No.
Are you givin' me cheek?
What does that even mean?
Hi, Michelle, um, hello ladies. Shall we... just let it go, yeah?
Whatever.
Fat bitch.
You fucking what?
Get off her!
Just get off!
Come on, get off her!
Are you OK?
Yes. I'm fucking fantastic(!)
Can I? Shall I?
You knew... You fucking knew about her!
No, I didn't!
How could you fucking not know, you arsehole?
You and your fucking bum chum!
No, I really didn't!
Fuck off!
You gave me cheek. >
Sorry...
Sorry don't work. You gave her cheek.
Did I?
I'm pretty sure I didn't.
My mate... she gave you cheek.
You give us cheek, too.
You so did.
Is there any possible way I could avoid a kicking?
You could try talking your way out of it.
Um, er... OK. Er...
'Mega Dog to the rescue!'
Em! Come on. Happy hour down 'Firkin!
Mate? Do you mind?
SIREN
Where the fuck have you been!
Dad, I just nipped to the shops.
For three hours?
I got lost.
My God, Sid, what happened? You're all...
No, I'm fine. No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
What's that smell?
Er... Piss.
Yours?
Someone else's.
Right.
You were grounded. You snooked... snook out.
Snuck out.
You snuck out. You even did a half-arsed job of that.
It might be better to do this in the morning.
Did you think we wouldn't know?
Did you actually think that we wouldn't know?
Dad, you're such a...
Such a what? Such a... Such a what?
Such a fucking what? Such a fucking what?
Dildo.
Oh, fuck the pair of you.
CRASHING
Bed.
Cassie...
What's that smell?
Just piss. What are you doing here, Cass?
You invited me round.
Did I?
I've been waiting. Where were you?
I was out.
Who with?
Michelle.
Michelle?
Wow.
Listen, Cass, I've had a bit of a bad night.
Michelle's so lovely.
♪ Michelle, my girl
♪ I love her, I love her I love her! ♪
So hey, wow! Fuck you, Sid!
Cassie, shh! My parents...
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!
I'm going home.
No, Cassie...
Let go... Let go of me!
It's your choice, Sid.
Everything is your choice.
Wake up, Sid.
DOOR SLAMS
Bollocks.
Oh.
Hi, Mum.
How's the face?
Sore.
Ahh...
Get in. I'll take you.
Cheers.
'O-O-K!
'Now we're gonna ring up Lee and we're gonna tell 'im that
'the Government is comin' round to take 'is babbies away!
'Hello, Lee!'
Mum. Last night...
We were just worried, that's all.
Do you ever feel you know someone, think you've seen everything they're gonna do, and then they trump it?
Dad's having a hard time...
I'm not talking about Dad.
Oh?
It's Tony.
Oh. Tony's lovely.
Thanks, Mum.
Sid, hang on. Close the door.
You know we both really love you. Don't you, Sid?
I suppose.
I want you to make more of an effort with your dad in general.
He's a good guy.
He doesn't act like one.
Not recently, no.
But things change, Sid.
What do you mean?
You...
You need to work out a way of getting on with him.
It's hard, I know.
OK?
I'll try.
Good.
I'm...
Mum?
Yes.
Anyway, have these... For your eye.
Oh, have this, too.
You eat too much crap.
Yeah. I know.
Thanks, Mum.
See you later.
Yeah.
See you.
Sid?
Yeah?
Nothing.
♪ THE HIVES: Main Offender
♪ I'm on my way
♪ Can't settle down
♪ Stuck in ways of being an ass
♪ I've got a lot of nerve that I'm ready to pass
♪ I'm on my way
♪ Can't settle down
♪ Stuck in ways... ♪
Sid?
Sid!
Sunglasses off, please.
OK, everybody, well done.
You've all passed!
Everyone except you, Sid.
Cor, mate! What happened.
Nothing. I'm fine, OK?
You've been fighting, Sid.
That's not "Changing And Developing". Is it?
24 hours left, OK?
You've either got it or you don't...
You haven't got it. OK?
All right, Tom. Sorry I'm late.
Yo! Last night, man. Cool. Total blast.
Everything you could want from an evening.
Songs, choirgirls, colourful costumes, fellatio... Rabbits...
Rabbits?
Look, don't ask, man. Yeah, so, Sid...
Whoa! That Michelle?
No, er, there were these girls...
What kind of girls, Sid?
Big ones.
I thought you was hanging out with Cassie last night?
Er... Bit of a mix up.
Yeah? Like what?
She was really looking forward to that.
OK, everyone!
Because you've all given it everything, you can go early.
But use the time wisely, OK?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, sailor!
Not so fast. A little you-me time, yeah?
Sooo...
Coursework?
Ready for tomorrow?
Yeah, I'm like, halfway through.
Sid, there are people here you can talk to.
I am here for you.
We can sort this out.
I'm all ears. Come on.
We can sort out the fact that my best mate wants me to make a move on his girlfriend, who I love,
even though she still loves him and now actually hates me?
My Dad thinks I'm a complete fuck-up,
and can't stop acting like a fuck-up
and no matter what I try I can't stop pissing everyone off?
We can sort that out, can we?
OK. OK, yeah.
Give me a moment to, um...
Life, Sid.
There are lots of ups and downs, OK?
It is like a...
It's like a... bird, flying.
Find your wings, Sid.
Right.
And do your coursework. Otherwise you're fucked.
Yeah. Thanks, Tom. That sorts it.
Pas de probleme, Sidney. So see you tomorrow.
Don't leave me hanging, G.
Safe!
Hey. All go according to plan?
No.
Ho! That girl can really swing.
No.
Your mistake, my friend, was making your move too quickly.
What?
Yes, grasshopper. Sensei say that boy must wait 12 hours
before he approach girl on rebound.
This is fucked up, Tone!
Isn't it?
Don't you want her?
I told you. It's a gift.
You fucking freak me out sometimes.
But it's never dull. Is it?
No.
Ring her. Take her for a drink, and see what happens.
What's the worst that can happen? It's your choice, dude. Your choice.
♪ JOLIE HOLLAND: Old Fashioned Morphine
Ah, fuck.
♪ Give me that old-fashioned morphine... ♪
'Hello?'
Hi, Michelle. It's Sid.
'Fuck off. I don't want to speak to you.'
Chelle...
'You heard me!'
I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry.
'Wankers!'
Yeah, I know, and I wanna see you so I can...
'What?'
Please. I wanna make it up to you.
'Fuck off.'
Can I talk to you?
'Talk about what? I don't want to.'
Yes, I know, and I want...
'I can't take your shit, you and Tony. You wanna talk?'
Yeah, yeah. Please, Michelle.
'I don't want to talk. I'm tired. You both fucked me over.'
Meet me at Ronny's Bar, I'll explain.
'Explain, yeah...'
Please, Chelle, I wanna see you.
♪ So don't go away, sister
♪ Don't go away
♪ Sister, don't go away
♪ Because the world is almost done
♪ Give me that old-fashioned morphine
♪ It's good enough for me
♪ It was good enough for Billy Burroughs
♪ It was good enough for Billy Burroughs... ♪
Hi.
Thanks for coming.
That's OK.
Why weren't you at, um, college today?
Snap!
Some right hook, that girl.
Yeah.
Believe me, Chelle. I didn't know he was pulling a stunt.
I promise.
What was that for?
For forgetting that you and Tony are different people.
Is that easy to do?
Well, you come as a package,
but you're...
sweeter.
Nice.
Ah, shit.
I'm one of the nice boys.
Fantastic(!)
♪ TRICKY: Hell Is Around The Corner
I like this one.
I love you.
Huh?
Nothing.
Let's dance.
What?
Dance with me. Come on.
Come on.
♪ Let me take you down the corridors of my life
♪ And when you walk, do you walk to your preference?
♪ No need to answer till I take further evidence
♪ I seem to need a reference to get residence
♪ A reference to your preference to say
♪ I'm a good neighbour, I trust
♪ So judge me for my labour
♪ Lobotomy ensures my good behaviour
♪ The constant struggle ensures my insanity
♪ Passing the ignorance ensures the struggle for my family
♪ We're hungry, beware of our appetite
♪ Distant drums bring the news of a kill tonight
♪ The kill which I share with my passengers
♪ We take our fill, take our fill, take our fill
♪ I stand firm for our soil
♪ Lick a rock on foil
♪ So they juiced you, seduced you Dressed me up in Stussy
♪ Confused by different memories Details of Asian remedies
♪ Conversations of what's become of enemies
♪ My brain thinks bomb-like... ♪
Michelle, I've been a bit silly, haven't I?
♪ And as I grow, I grow collective
♪ Before the move sit on the perspective
Mr Quaye lay in the crevice And watches from the precipice
♪ Imperial passage
♪ Heat from the sun some days slowly passes
Until then, you have to live with yourself
♪ Until then, you have to live with yourself
♪ I stand firm for our soil Lick a rock on foil
♪ So they juiced you, seduced you Dressed me up in Stussy
♪ Hell is round the corner where I shelter isms and schisms
♪ We're living on a skelter
♪ If you believe I deceive
♪ Common sense says you will receive
♪ Let me take you down the corridor
♪ My brain thinks bomb-like. ♪
MOBILE KEYPAD BEEPS
Hello!
Cassie? Hello, I've got your...
Hello?
Who is that? What's that noise? Hello?
Hello? Hello?
Is Cassie there?
Sid?
Oh, God!
Oh, Christ, she's done something!
What? Why?
You've really got no idea? For fuck's sake, Sid!
Jal, wait? Where are you going?
Where do you think I'm going?
Shit!
MONITOR BEEPS
Is she all right?
She will be. >
What have they done to her?
Pumped her stomach.
What?
Why have you chose to start caring about her now?
It's a bit fucking late. You're the last person she needs right now.
Why? Why is this my fault?
All you had to do was go on that fucking date. That's it.
But...
You need to be relatives. Are you family?
No.
Yes, I'm her sister.
Right. Is he your brother?
No. He's not.
Hi, Sid.
Dad, what's going on?
Dad? >
(SNIFFS) Er, your mum's... gone.
Gone? What do you mean, "gone"?
She packed a bag and went to Auntie Rosy's.
Something she "has to do".
She can't live here any more.
She can't talk to me any more...
Hang on. Have you split up?
Oh, God, no, no.
So she's just not living here or talking to you any more?
Yeah.
Right.
She said to tell you "sorry".
Why is she sorry? Isn't her fault, is it?
Relationships are complicated... and sometimes, you know...
You shouldn't blame yourself.
I don't blame myself. I blame you.
I know, and, you know, you have...
Shut up! Why did you let her go?
Sid... I can't...
Because you're fucking useless, you sodding idiot! >
You stupid bastard. You fucking stupid bastard!
That's my fucking mum! And she's fucking gone!
Sid, I'm so sorry...
It's a bit late for that.
You've got to ring her.
It won't do any good.
Ring her! Or... Or...
You're fucking grounded until you get her back!
Huh?
You fucking heard me! >
Say goodbye to sunshine, Sunshine!
Sid...
I've got things to do!
♪ ST THOMAS: Be Cool Be Nice
♪ The sun is going down
♪ You feel like a hiding clown
♪ Away is the answer here...
Can I come in?
♪ Be cool
♪ Be nice... ♪
It'll be OK.
♪ MOBILE RING TONE: Singing In The Rain
(SIGHS)
(TONY) 'Hey, Sid. Where'd you get to?
'Sid, hello?
'I know you're fucking there, mate.
'Come on, it was just a laugh.
'Don't be a fucking pussy.
'Sid, come on. Sid!'
♪ THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE: You Look Great When I'm High
BIRDS TWEET
We're in Russia. I want to try something new.
Na zdoroviye.
Come on!
I've seen boobs!
Does he think he's a fucking terrorist?
Can't you be any harder?
Have you tried being with a girl?
Have you tried being with a man?
No... Don't be sick.
You calling me sick?
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd