Did you hear about the Tian An Men?
She was reported missing last night
near the Cardassian border.
That's three in the last three weeks.
At this rate, we're going to run out of ships.
Well, that's not funny.
It wasn't meant to be.
Unless Starfleet Command
actually starts doing something
about the Dominion threat, the situation's
only going to get worse.
Well, what do you want, Julian
a war?
What I want is to talk about something else.
Chief...
what about Kirayoshi?
Is he walking yet?
No.
Not yet, no.
Odo, I understand
you're going to Bajor next week.
Do you plan to see Dr. Mora?
Uh... actually, I've canceled my trip.
There's been a 75 percent jump
in the theft of medical supplies
and food rations on DS9.
I haven't seen such an increase since...
Since?
Since just before the Cardassians were forced
to abandon the station.
On that note
I think I'll turn in.
Oh, me, too.
Thank you for dinner, Captain.
It was wonderful.
It was my pleasure.
Sir.
Good night, everyone.
Mr. Worf.
You've been paroled.
The party's over.
Thank you, sir.
Good night.
Don't bother.
I'll clean the rest up later.
I want to be alone for a while.
Go on.
Okay.
Good night, sir.
Ops to Captain Sisko.
Go ahead.
We just received a message from Bajor, sir.
Kai Winn will be coming to the station tomorrow morning
and she'd like to meet with you.
Acknowledged.
Thanks for the invitation, Jake.
That was a lot of fun.
Did you see how down my dad was?
He tried to hide it
but I could tell he was depressed.
He's not the only one.
Look around.
There's something in the air.
People are scared.
Yeah, but he's usually the one
who tries to lift everyone's spirits.
I mean, people go to him for encouragement.
Where does he go when he needs it?
I hope I'll be seeing the two of you tomorrow
at 1200 hours.
Why?
Haven't you heard?
There's going to be an auction
of some of the galaxy's rarest
and most valuable antiquities.
Here. Find something you like
and make a bid with all that latinum
you've got stashed under your bed.
Shh!
Oh, Nog, you don't really keep it under your bed?
No, of course not.
Where'd you get all this stuff, Quark?
I'm just conducting the auction for a modest commission.
The items up for sale
were all aboard an old derelict freighter
that the Bajorans found adrift about a light-year from here.
The cargo hold was crammed with valuable items
of every description:
Antiques, paintings, vehicles.
It's all a bunch of junk.
Listen to some of this stuff.
A mid-24th century, ceramic Romulan water basin—
slightly cracked.
A pair of Tellarite shoes—
date unknown.
A mid-20th century hu-man baseball card.
A Tholian pedestal—
A baseball card!
A mint condition, 1951
Willie Mays rookie card!
Nog, this is it!
What do you mean?
It's perfect.
This is how I can cheer up my dad.
You know how much he loves baseball.
He'll go nuts when he sees this.
Tell him to be here at 1200 hours
and he can bid along with everyone else.
No. I'm going to bid on this.
He's always doing things for me.
I want to do something for him for a change.
And this is it.
All I have to do is get him this card.
How hard can that be?
Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT PICTURES
Come on, Nog.
No.
Why not?
It's my money, Jake.
If you want to bid at the auction,
use your own money.
I'm human— I don't have any money.
It's not my fault your species decided
to abandon currency-based economics
in favor of some philosophy
of self-enhancement.
Hey, watch it.
There's nothing wrong with our philosophy.
We work to better ourselves
and the rest of humanity.
What does that mean exactly?
It means...
it means we don't need money.
Well, if you don't need money
then you certainly don't need mine.
How much latinum do you have?
How much?
Five bars.
Five bars!
Look, it's taken me a lifetime to save up that much money
and I'm not just going to throw it away for some baseball card.
Not even for my father—
the man who made it possible
for you to enter Starfleet Academy?
Oh, no. That's not fair.
The man who believed in you when no one else would.
Oh, this is so low.
I can't believe you'd rather keep your filthy money
locked up in a box under a bed
than use it to give him endless moments of happiness.
( screams )
All right! All right!
I'll do it.
That's very generous of you, Nog.
I'm proud of you.
Now, let's get that money.
( door chimes )
Come in.
Welcome back to Deep Space 9
Your Eminence.
Thank you, Emissary.
You may go now, child.
Thank you.
Why don't we take a walk?
A walk?
Yes. Would you mind?
SISKO: Something wrong, Eminence?
No, nothing wrong
but there was a shop down there, as I recall—
a woman who sold Bajoran tapestries and antiques.
Ah. Kandra Vilk.
Yes.
I believe she moved to a neutral world
near the Cordon system about two months ago.
So many people have left Deep Space 9
in the last few months.
I'm sure there are times when you must feel
as if you're being abandoned here.
Forgive me, Eminence
but I have a very busy day ahead of me.
I'm here to meet a representative of the Dominion.
To what end?
I... I don't know.
This meeting is being held at their request.
You disapprove?
I'm concerned.
The Dominion is notorious for its political intrigue.
Well, I have some experience in that area, as well.
This is a delicate moment for Bajor.
This conflict between the Federation and the Dominion
could escalate into open warfare at any moment.
A misstep now could result
in the destruction of our world.
For once, I am in complete agreement with you.
You have my word
I will do whatever it takes to safeguard Bajor.
Walk with the Prophets.
QUARK: The bid is to you, sir—
one bar, three strips.
Don't let the lady steal this fine example
of post-Eventualistic, pre-Matoian
bronze and triptin sculpture for such a pittance.
One bar, three strips.
One bar, four strips, and it's all yours—
an honorable addition
to any Klingon household.
Remember...
all the proceeds from this auction
go to the Bajoran War Orphans Fund...
minus a modest commission.
Think of those poor, lonely children
and how much your latinum will mean to them.
Looks like the kids will have to make do
with one bar, three strips.
Sold to the blue man in the good shoes.
( smattering of applause )
Lot 48.
An Andorian chest
containing a pre-Surak Vulcan bracelet
a sixth century Bajoran mandala
a 23rd century ion-transtator
a Willie Mays baseball card
from Earth, dated 1951.
Who will start the bidding with one bar
of gold-pressed latinum?
One bar.
Do I hear one bar, five strips?
One bar, five strips.
Do I hear one bar, ten?
Don't worry.
He'll drop out at two bars.
How do you know that?
I'm still a Ferengi.
One bar, ten.
One, 15?
One, 15. One, 20?
One, 20.
One, 25?
Two bars.
The bid is two bars.
Do I hear two bars, five?
Vedek, are you in?
I told you.
Two bars, five.
Three bars.
Four bars.
Jake.
Ten bars.
The bid is ten bars
of gold-pressed latinum.
Is there another bid?
What do we do now?
Nothing. We're out of money.
QUARK: Jake
do you want to make another bid?
Sold to the gentleman sitting in the aisle.
Lot 49.
A rare example of a 20th-century human art form—
acrylic on black velvet.
This image was the inspiration
for the flag of the Martian Colony in the 22nd...
Look, I-I-I know you wanted that card
but we lost it, okay?
So let's come up with something else
to cheer up your dad, huh?
Uh... like a new pair of shoes.
Shoes?
What's wrong with shoes?
Nothing, except it's stupid.
I want to give my dad something
that'll bring a little joy into his life.
Something special.
I'm telling you, that baseball card is the answer.
It's kismet.
"Kiss you"?
Kismet— fate.
Destiny.
I was meant to give that card to my father.
Jake, I think you're taking this whole baseball card thing
way too seriously.
It's not the card.
It's my dad.
This is very important to me.
My father's never let me down.
He's always been there for me when I needed him
and right now, he needs me.
I don't want to let him down.
Nog, please.
Let's get that card.
( sighs )
All right.
What do you want to do?
Sir.
Excuse me.
Sir? Could we talk to you for a minute?
Who sent you?
No one.
We wish to discuss a business transaction.
Not interested.
You don't even know what it is yet.
We just want to buy the baseball card.
Listen to me.
I haven't done anything wrong
and I won't be hounded by you
and your soulless minions of orthodoxy.
I haven't broken any laws
except, perhaps, the laws of nature...
so stay away from me.
Habitat Ring.
Captain Sisko!
I can't tell you how happy I am to see you again.
I wish I could say the same.
( laughs )
How delightful!
You feel comfortable enough around me to make jokes.
I'm so pleased to see our relationship evolving
beyond the stale adversarial stage.
No, it's not, but before you twist that into a compliment
let me be blunt: I don't like the Dominion.
I don't like what it stands for and I don't like you.
So let's dispense with the hollow pleasantries
and stick to business.
I can't tell you how it pains me
to hear you say that, Captain.
You see, I really like Deep Space 9 and I like you
and after this meeting with Kai Winn
I think you and I will be seeing a lot more of each other.
Jake... Jake!
He wants to see us!
Who? Dr. Giger—
the man who bought the baseball card.
He wants us to come to his quarters.
He says he's willing to make a deal.
You're kidding.
No. He left a message for us
about an hour ago.
It said to meet him at 1800 hours.
That's in ten minutes. Let's go.
Remember— let me do the talking.
You?
You had your chance on the Promenade.
Now, stand aside
and let a professional handle this.
( equipment buzzing and beeping )
Step out of the doorway, please
and don't touch anything.
This is very sensitive equipment.
I did some checking on you two.
It turns out that you are the Station Commander's son
and you are the nephew of the man
who owns the bar.
That's right.
Since you are not, in fact
working for the soulless minions of orthodoxy
that have hounded my work and plagued my existence
I have decided to open negotiations regarding the sale
of a mint condition 1951 Willie Mays
rookie card— without the original
packaging or chewing gum.
Excellent. We would like to open
the negotiations with a bid—
The card is not for sale.
What?
But you just said—
I am willing to trade the card
in exchange for the following items.
"Two liters of anaerobic metabolites suspended
"in a hydrosaline solution...
a neodymium power cell..."
Where are we supposed to get all this stuff?
Surely the Station Commander's son
and a promising young cadet
have access to a wide variety
of equipment and supplies
that would not be available to someone like myself.
It's a very long list.
It'll take some doing.
Wait a minute.
What are you planning to do with these things?
Nog...
Look, we can't start delivering equipment
and medical supplies to you
without knowing what you're going to do with them.
Very well, young man.
Let me ask you both a simple question.
Do you want to die?
No.
Not really.
Of course you don't. So why should you?
Why should any of us end up as putrefying corpses
in wooden boxes stuck in the ground?
Or vaporized into subatomic particles
and vented into the cosmos like a bad case of gas?
No reason that I can think of.
I have devoted my life... to the study of death
and do you know what I found?
Death is nothing more than the result
of cellular boredom.
"Boredom?"
Think about it.
The cells in your body
have been doing the same job—
the same dull, monotonous routine
every day since you were conceived:
Metabolize, divide
metabolize, divide.
Wouldn't you get bored?
Of course you would.
So, at some point, the cells just say
"That's it."
And you, the unwary victim of cellular ennui
are quite literally... bored to death.
I never thought about it that way.
Dr. Bathkin
of Andros III was the first to come up
with the answer to solving the puzzle of death:
Keep the cells energized.
Keep them in the game
by teaching them new mitochondrial tricks.
Unfortunately, before he could finish his work
Dr. Bathkin died in a shuttle accident.
Or so they say.
And while the soulless minions of orthodoxy
refuse to follow up on his important research
I could hear the clarion call of destiny ringing in my ears.
And now, after 15 years of tireless effort
after being laughed at
and hounded out of the halls of the scientific establishment...
after begging and scrounging for materials
across half the galaxy...
I have nearly completed work...
on this:
The cellular regeneration... and entertainment chamber.
What does it do?
I'm glad you asked.
It is specially designed to transmit biogenic energy
on a chromoelectric wavelength
and send uplifting... and entertaining messages
to the nuclei of every cell in your body.
Spend eight hours a day in this machine
and your cells
will never get bored.
You will never grow old...
and most important...
you will never die.
That is the goal of my work—
nothing less than immortality itself.
Excuse us for a moment.
Of course.
What do you think?
I don't know.
I'm no expert in cellular chemistry
but his theory sounds a little odd to me.
He had me going there for a minute
but... a cellular entertainment machine?
He's crazy, isn't he?
Completely.
But he does have the baseball card.
So?
So, that means
we've got to help him.
I'm not so sure this is such a good idea.
Nog, I can't let my father down.
Let him down?
Your father doesn't even know this card exists.
I don't know which of you is crazier.
I'm not crazy.
I'm... just a little obsessed.
"A little"?
Okay, Doctor.
We're in.
Do you how many germs are transmitted
by a handshake?
You want to kill me?
Just nod if we have a deal.
Him, too.
JAKE: Hey, Chief, we need a neodymium power cell
from a Cardassian phase-coil inverter.
You think you could help us out?
That's an unusual piece of equipment.
What do you need that for?
We have to trade it for a—
It's kind of a secret.
Well, I'm sure there's an old cell
lying around here somewhere
but I don't have time
to scrounge around for it at the moment.
What's the matter with you?
Just tell him you're trying
to give your father a gift.
No! I want it to be a surprise.
You know you can't keep a secret on this station.
If I tell the Chief, he tells Keiko, Keiko tells Dax—
But you're not giving him any reason to help us.
Okay, let me show you a little something
about incentive-based economics, huh?
Chief, may I ask you a question?
Wouldn't you rather
be doing something else right now?
( scoffing ): Almost anything.
But isn't there something specific
you'd rather be doing?
Uh... like, uh...
going to the holosuites, maybe?
Sure.
I bet you'd rather be kayaking right now
wouldn't you?
You probably haven't shot those rapids in weeks.
No interruptions...
no maintenance schedules...
just you and the river.
Hmm... well, that's what I'd be doing right now
if Decker hadn't gotten sick.
But I have to recalibrate all these EPS regulators
so they don't interfere
with the station's artificial gravity grid.
What if someone else
recalibrated the regulators for you, huh?
Someone... like us?
You'd do that for me?
Absolutely!
Don't give it a second thought.
Just go shoot those rapids.
Thanks, thanks a lot.
I owe you one.
Our pleasure, and Chief...
about that power cell...?
Oh, yeah...
I think I know where there's one.
I'll have it sent up to your quarters.
Thanks, Chief.
( chuckling )
( sighing ): Come on.
You calibrate, I'll scan.
Five liters of anaerobic metabolites
suspended in hydrosaline solution.
What could you possibly want with that?
We can't tell you.
It's a surprise for someone.
They're not going to drink it, are they?
( chuckling ): Oh, no...
At least, I don't know— is he?
Look, I don't have time for this.
Uh...
Can I ask you one question?
Wouldn't you rather be doing something else right now?
No.
No?
No. This is the first chance I've had
to get any research done on my prion project in five months.
You couldn't drag me away from here.
Oh.
What Jake is trying to say is that you seem... unhappy.
I... suppose I have been feeling a little down
now you come to mention it.
Just out of curiosity
if you had to name one thing
that would make you happy right now, what would it be?
I don't know.
Humor me. One thing—
anything at all.
Kukalaka.
Excuse me?
That's what I want.
Leeta borrowed him— said he was "cute"--
but she never brought him back.
Kuka-what?
Kukalaka.
You bring him to me
and you'll have earned yourselves
five liters of anaerobic metabolites suspended
in hydrosaline solution.
Done!
Uh, just one thing, Doctor.
What's a Kukalaka?
Weyoun has made a startling proposal.
The Dominion wishes to sign
a nonaggression treaty with Bajor.
They're trying to split Bajor from the Federation.
Forgive me, Emissary
but you've already done that.
It was your advice six months ago
that kept Bajor out of the Federation.
How did you put it?
"Bajor must stand alone."
Well, we are very much alone now.
Even though you're not a member of the Federation
Starfleet is committed to the protection of your world.
We're not going to stand idly by
and watch the Dominion conquer Bajor.
Can you promise me
that you will not let one Jem'Hadar soldier
set foot on Bajor?
Can you promise me that you will use
your entire fleet to protect our planet
even if it means sacrificing other worlds
like Vulcan
or Andor
or Berengaria...
or perhaps even Earth itself?
I can't make that kind of promise.
I wouldn't believe you if you did.
So you see my predicament?
If we ally ourselves with the Federation
against the Dominion
we risk becoming the first casualty of the next war.
And if you ally yourselves with the Dominion
you risk becoming the next conquered world.
A most unhappy choice.
I have asked the Prophets to guide me
but they have not answered my prayers.
I even consulted the Orb of Wisdom before coming here
and it has told me nothing.
So I come to you, Emissary.
You have heard the voice of the Prophets.
You were sent here
to guide us through troubled times.
Tell me what to do, and I will do it.
How can I save Bajor?
You want my advice?
Then, this is it—
stall.
Tell Weyoun you have to consult with the Council of Ministers
or you have to meditate on your response—
anything you want— but you have to stall for time.
Time? For what?
I don't know.
But I do know the moment of crisis isn't here yet
and until that moment arrives
we have to keep Bajor's options open.
I'm aware that this is difficult for you
given our past.
But this time, you have to trust me.
Very well, Emissary.
We put ourselves in your hands.
May we all walk with the Prophets.
( door opens, closes )
( sighing )
Refreshed...
regenerated...
mildly entertained.
I still get a little bored
after the first five hours.
I've got half the things you wanted.
Good, good.
Where's the hydrosaline solution?
We should have it soon.
Nog just got the bear.
Don't ask.
Ah...
( electronic beeping )
( equipment powers up )
Do you know what that is?
It's the sound of immortality.
( deep, whirring hum )
( device beeping )
( muted deep, whirring hum )
What's going on down there?
( Klingon opera blaring )
Nog?
Turn that down!
Nog!
I'm working out here!
So am I!
I have to listen to all of Worf's opera recordings
and filter out the sub-harmonic distortions!
Can you turn that down?
I'm trying to add a little humor
to Kira's speech to the Agricultural Delegation!
No! I have to listen at precisely 82 decibels
because that's the volume Worf listens at.
Of course, if I could have simply told him
why I needed two meters
of electro-plasma conduit from the Defiant
he probably would have just given it to me
and things would be a lot quieter around here!
We can't tell anybody, Nog!
( opera stops playing )
Now, listen to this for a second.
"Thank you for that kind introduction
"and thank you for inviting me to address you
"here tonight.
"I've always thought it odd
"that the topic of water reclamation
was usually treated as such a dry subject."
Is that funny?
No.
( opera resumes )
I didn't think so, either.
Would you watch it with that thing?
Trying staying out of the way!
He's probably sleeping
in his cellular entertainment thing again.
( sighing )
It's not locked.
No, there is no record of a Dr. Giger
being assigned to those quarters.
He was there, Odo.
Maybe the soulless minions of orthodoxy
finally caught up with him.
The who?
We don't know who they are
but they were after
Dr. Giger's cellular regeneration
and entertainment chamber.
His what?
( sighs )
It's a device used to keep
the cells in your body from getting bored.
You see, he was going to transmit messages
to people's cells
to keep them entertained
so they wouldn't die off
and as a result, these people would...
live forever.
Uh-huh.
Do you really think
he's going to charge us with filing false reports
obstructing justice, being public nuisances?
I can't have that on my Academy record.
I think he was just trying to scare us.
Nog, look.
NOG: It's Kai Winn.
JAKE: Do you see
who she's talking to?
That's the Vedek who was bidding against us
at the auction.
Jake, I don't know what you're thinking
but I'm sure I'm not going to like it.
Don't you see?
The Vedek was bidding on that lot
because there was an old Bajoran mandala in there.
He must have been working for the Kai.
When they lost, the Kai
must have gotten angry
and we all know how dangerous she is
when she's angry.
What are you saying?
That in order to get the mandala, she kidnapped Giger?
It all makes sense now.
( sighs )
Jake, I'm really starting to worry about you.
Come on.
Where are we going?
Let me introduce you to a new human expression.
We're going to beard the lion in its den.
( sighs )
Lions, Gigers, bears...
( sighs )
Oh, my.
I hope you've found our talks
as rewarding as I have, Your Eminence.
May I inquire if you plan on giving
the First Minister a positive recommendation
regarding the nonaggression pact?
I'm afraid I cannot reveal my recommendations
to the First Minister.
You understand.
Of course, of course.
Forgive me for even asking.
It is enough to know
that you and I have found so many common interests.
I feel...
that we are very much alike.
No, we are nothing alike.
Nothing at all.
What is it, my children?
You accused the Kai
of burglary and kidnapping?
We didn't really accuse her of anything.
Oh, I see— you just implied it.
Exactly.
Are you trying to be funny, Cadet?
Because I'm not laughing.
No, sir.
I want an explanation
and I want it now.
Well, sir, it all began
in my Uncle Quark's bar when we saw this list—
We were in the bar
and I-I guess we got a little drunk.
Jake!
It won't do any good to lie about it, Nog.
What?
Captain, I would like
to separate myself—
As you were, Cadet.
Drunk.
I see that my faith in the two of you has sadly been misplaced.
You both are confined to quarters
until further notice.
Dismissed!
What did you say that for?
I didn't want him
to know about the baseball card.
Of course not.
If you tell him about the card
he might forgive us.
He might even be grateful for all the effort
we've gone through just to make him happy.
We certainly don't want that.
Habitat Ring.
Once we get the card
everything will be fine.
Jake, as your friend, I think I should tell you
you're starting to go over the edge.
You need to get some perspective on all this.
You need to get away
clear your head.
This isn't what I had in mind.
Do you think I'm a fool?
Let's start at the beginning.
What is the nature of your relationship
with Dr. Elias Giger?
We barely know him.
He had a baseball card
that I wanted to give to my father to cheer him up.
My father's the Station Commander, by the way.
I know who your father is.
Go on.
That's it.
We wanted the card
and so we agreed to help him get
a few things for his research.
We got all the equipment
but he disappeared about three hours ago
and we haven't seen him since.
Do you really expect me to believe that everything
you've been doing for the last 22 hours
has been perfectly innocent?
That it was merely a coincidence
that Dr. Giger has been running experiments
with highly charged polaric particles
directly below my quarters?
I suppose there's also an innocent explanation
to the secret meetings you've been having
with virtually the entire senior staff
of Deep Space 9
or that Kai Winn met with you
immediately after leaving me?
I suggest that you stop
playing games with me and tell me the truth...
quickly.
This is all just a misunderstanding.
Nothing's going on
and we're certainly not involved in some secret plot against—
You betrayed me.
You turned me over to these
soulless minions of orthodoxy.
Well, they won't discover
the secret of my work without a...
fight.
So...
there are secrets after all.
There shouldn't be any secrets between friends, Jake
and I do want
to be your friend.
Do something.
All right.
We'll tell you the truth.
I'm listening.
We weren't supposed to divulge this
but since you left us no choice...
we're working for Starfleet Intelligence.
Oh, no.
Forget about it, Nog.
We have to tell him.
We're investigating the man
whose picture is in your hand right now.
Until yesterday, that man—
one Willie Mays—
did not exist in any historical documents.
( sighs )
Then, in the blink of an eye
that card appeared
on the station.
And at that same moment
a bust of Willie Mays appeared
at the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York.
There's only one explanation.
We suspect that this man...
is from the future.
A time-traveler?
That's right.
And so far, that card
is the only link we have to him.
We must find out
what he's planning to do in the past
or what he may have done already.
We need that card.
The entire future of the galaxy may depend
on us tracking down Willie Mays and stopping him.
I believe you.
You do?
Yes.
That is, I believe your first story—
that you're two innocent boys
trying to give a gift to Captain Sisko.
You are very wise.
Which still leaves the question—
what you were doing beneath my quarters.
NOG: He's harmless.
He's just working on a way
to become immortal.
Really?
I have a background in... shall we say, creative genetics.
I'd be most interested in hearing your theories.
Well, it may take some time to explain.
Let me ask you a simple question.
Do you want to die?
NOG: Uh, excuse me.
Can we go?
Of course.
Thank you.
WEYOUN: Aren't you forgetting something?
Captain's Log, Stardate 50929.4.
Two days ago, this station felt like a tomb.
I'd never seen so many of my crew
depressed at the same time.
But for some reason it now seems as though a new spirit
has swept through the station
as if someone had opened a door
and let a gust of fresh air blow through a musty old house.
Why this is happening, frankly, is a mystery to me.
After all, nothing has really changed.
The Dominion is still a threat
the Cardassians are still threatening
to retake the station, and I can still see
the clouds of war gathering on the horizon.
But maybe I'm overthinking this.
Maybe the real explanation is as simple
as something my father taught me a long time ago.
Even in the darkest moments, you can always find something
that'll make you smile.
Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT PICTURES