PIKE: Captain's log. Stardate 1421.9.
It's not often that losing a crew member is cause for celebration.
But our young science officer Lynne Lucero has been promoted.
She's taking command of the research vessel Cabot
above Pragine 63.
They're lucky to have her.
You know, this place isn't gonna be the same without you.
You'll get by, but if you do get into trouble,
I can always come to your rescue in my little research ship.
I can think of easier assignments.
A civilization on the brink of starvation on the edge of Klingon space,
and Starfleet wants you to intervene on their behalf,
without the Klingons ever knowing.
Seems like a fun challenge to me.
I admire your optimism.
Well, it got me this far, sir.
- You ready? - I feel ready.
Any advice from a salty old captain?
Don't show any weakness...
or they will eat you alive.
Yeah, I'm kidding. You're gonna have a great time. Go.
Thank you, sir.
Just, uh, one tip.
You got this job because you are a brilliant scientist.
But you're gonna find that not everybody's on your level.
- If you know what I mean. - You're right.
Some are gonna be even better than me.
There's that optimism again.
Good luck out there...
captain.
You too, captain.
NOEL: We've been sharing resources with the soil department.
Together, we're hoping to get the pH levels
in our targeted areas up to 6.0 within a decade.
That sounds promising.
I'm glad you took the initiative on collaboration.
And we're exploring a third option.
- Edward Larkin? - Huh?
- What has your department been up to? - I don't have a department. It's just me.
- What have you been up to? - I also—
I didn't know we were sharing resources, so—
Yeah. Um... Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I got it.
- It's all right, take your time. - Yeah, I was just getting it...
[DEVICE BUZZING]
I think it's broken. It's broken.
Oh.
Yeah. Thank you for fixing it. It was— It was broken.
Mm-hm.
I've been working with sample specimens
from a species native to Iota Geminorum IV.
Tribleustes ventricosus.
People call them "Tribbles" for short.
- Pretty darn cute. - Yeah.
And if you take all the fur off underneath, it's—
It's all meat.
Like a scallop.
Blood red.
You wanna eat them?
I— I don't want to eat them.
I was thinking of introducing them as a food source for the Calations.
Although I have—
l have eaten one or two.
For research purposes.
I fed one to Noel the other day, and he enjoyed it.
Noel is a foodie, but I'm no chef.
The only problem with this particular species
is that they breed very slowly.
But with some genetic manipulation,
I could speed up that process and we could—
- We could make a ton of these. - Let me ask you, are they intelligent?
It's hard to say.
As you can see, they— They don't have a face.
But they're very slow-moving, so they would be easy to hunt.
And actually, one fell off my desk the other day, and it—
It just died instantly, so there's that.
So even if they were intelligent,
I feel like they would be very easy to capture and then eat—
No, I was more concerned with the moral implications.
For the Tribble? Well, sure.
I could genetically manipulate the DNA to make them all brain-damaged.
And that way, that would, um...
- solve that. - You know, I think our focus should be
on primary food sources.
So why don't we just put a pin in the Tribbles work
and move you over to climatology?
Well, I'm a protein specialist, so l— Climatology?
Well, we're all scientists here.
Learning things is kind of in our wheelhouse.
All right, moving on. I'd like to talk oceanography.
I think we have a real opportunity to boost our...
[CHATTERING]
New boss, huh?
Barf.
I think people like her.
Nah.
COMPUTER: One extra-large salad. Enjoy.
No, they don't.
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
Well, I look forward to more fascinating work from you.
OFFICER: Thank you, sir.
LUCERO: Edward, may I see you in my office?
- Yeah. - My commanding officer at Starfleet
received a series of anonymous messages
last night about me.
Oh. What— What did they say?
They said that I'm bad at my job, that I should be replaced immediately.
And that I'm "dumb."
That's so weird.
I mean, do you think that you're bad at you're job?
Or do you think that you're dumb?
I've talked to a number of scientists onboard, and they all agree,
you are an extremely talented biologist.
I mean, I like to think that I'm good at my job.
Yeah, they also agree that this behavior is not unexpected from you.
What behavior?
You mean the messages? Because those were anonymous.
You know, anonymous means that I— You don't know who sent them.
Okay.
Personal issues aside,
I just don't think you're the right fit for the kind of work we're doing here,
so I've requested to have you transferred.
- Captain, but— - This conversation's over.
- You're dismissed. - Right, but—
- This is the end of the conversation. - Captain, if I could—
- You can't. - Right, but I have this—
The conversation's over.
That's the end.
Well, technically, the conversation is not over, because I can keep talking,
and then the conversation is continuing.
I don't know how you made it this far in your career behaving like this.
- You think I'm dumb? - This is why I ended the conversation.
I'm having you transferred, end of conversation.
It would be rude and irresponsible to end the conversation—
The conversation's over.
- But— - Edward!
- Remember earlier, I said— - Larkin!
Yep. All right, fine.
I'm not dumb.
Lock down environmental control.
- Hey, what's going on? - There's been a lab breach.
Need my help?
They're so cute.
Wow. Oh, my God.
Who— Who did this?
Edward.
You do realize you—
You do realize you disobeyed a direct order?
I'm going to have to put that on your file.
This isn't going to be good for you.
But it worked.
Captain, we have a problem.
There's more of them.
Feel the meat on these.
There's a transport coming in two days, and you're gonna be on it.
['JOHNNY APPLESEED" BY BING CROSBY PLAYING]
The Tribbles got into the ship's circuitry.
Transporters are offline.
They're proliferating at an exponential rate.
It'll be a matter of hours before the ship won't be able to provide enough oxygen.
Can anyone tell me how they're breeding this quickly?
l analyzed a newborn Tribble.
They're born pregnant.
Well, when you mix human DNA with Tribble DNA, crazy stuff happens.
- Sorry, you used human DNA? - Yeah.
Whose DNA?
Look, I think we're getting off track, all right?
I mean, if we all eat our fair share of these,
the population will even itself out.
Edward, whose DNA?
It was mine.
But, like— Like Noel's DNA would be any better?
Okay, we need to focus our energy on containment.
Tactical, set phaser rifles to stun.
Move through the decks in groups of three.
OFFICER: Yes, sir.
I'm not helping.
[SCREAMING]
CREWMEMBER: Attention, all personnel.
Decks 2 through 6 are confirmed fire hazard areas.
- Go, go, go! - Do not attempt to access.
[ALARM BLARING]
COMPUTER: Warning. Overload. Malfunction critical.
Go!
Hurry!
EDWARD: Captain.
- You thought it wouldn't work. - Edward, we have to go now.
- You said I was dumb. - Edward, please.
I'm not dumb.
- I'm smart. - Edward!
I never said you were dumb.
You messaged my bosses and told them I was dumb.
I made one of the most important scientific discoveries of our time!
I'm not the dumb one! You—
ADMIRAL QUINN: With less than two weeks under your command,
the Cabot science vessel saw an onboard experiment
go beyond your control.
One crew member was tragically lost,
and the ship itself suffered a total and complete structural failure.
And then, of course,
a genetically modified species managed to find its way
to the surface of Pragine 63,
forcing the evacuation of an entire civilization.
And we've just gotten word these creatures
have made their way into Klingon space.
So let's add a diplomatic crisis to all of this.
But according to your report,
this entire calamity was all caused by one crew member.
How do you explain that?
He was an idiot.
ANNOUNCER: Oh, no. Out of cereal?
With Tribbles, you'll never run out of cereal again.
Tribbles is the only cereal with self-replication,
so the fun never stops.
And neither do the Tribbles.
There's a prize at the bottom of each box. Heh, heh.
Not that you'll ever get to the bottom.
And only Tribbles has the taste kids love.
Mm! So furry, it tickles!
And meaty, so it really fills me up.
Parents love that Tribbles are packed with 18 essential vitamins and minerals.
And Edward.
Tribbles contain more human DNA than any other leading brands.
That's the building blocks of life.
Override your replicator safety protocols and set it for Tribbles.
Original, Hairy Berry, and new Spicy Ranch.
MAN [SINGING]: When your tummy needs a nibble
Pour a bowl of Tribbles
TRIBBLE: We 're pregnant…
with flavor.
MAN [SINGING]: Tribbles