Dr. Beverly Crusher, personal log, stardate 44821.3.
Began an analysis today of the respiratory problems
being experienced on the Beta Moon of Peliar Zel.
Finally got an actual letter from Wesley.
Topped the class in exobiology,
but he's still struggling in ancient philosophies.
And there's someone new in my life.
Ambassador Odan, Dr. Crusher. I was just on my way to speak to you.
- Hello, Data. - I have completed my study
on the atmospheric variations which have occurred on the moons
since the new technology was implemented.
Thank you, commander. That will be most helpful
in my efforts to mediate the quarrel.
I could go over it with you now.
It would not require more than two hours.
Oh, we do appreciate that, Data,
but the ambassador and I have set aside this time
to analyze the incidence of the lung disease on the moon's inhabitants.
Then it is perfect timing, doctor.
What better occasion to integrate my results into your study?
Now that I think about it, you're absolutely right, commander.
Unfortunately, I'm not feeling very well.
Perhaps Dr. Crusher could get you started inputting your information.
I myself must return to my quarters.
Ambassador, are you still having those awful headaches?
I'd better bring you a hypospray to take care of it.
I would be most grateful.
Put a cold cloth on your forehead, ambassador.
I'll do my best to be with you shortly.
I'll set you up at the medical monitor, Data.
It'll take you a while to input the figures, won't it?
At least an hour.
But I do not believe much time can be saved
by exhibiting such haste now, doctor.
Data, there are times when every second does count.
Space, the final frontier.
These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.
Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds,
to seek out new life and new civilizations,
to boldly go where no one has gone before.
Somehow, I had an unnatural fear that Data was going to barge in
and ask to discuss the peripheral effects of magnetospheric energy taps.
If I don't get back soon and take a look at his projections,
he just might come looking for me.
Do you know, when I first met the formidable Dr. Beverly—
- What, ten days ago? - Mm.
—I thought to myself, "This woman is ice,
through to her bones."
Mm-hm.
Who would've ever guessed, instead of ice
there is fire?
- Odan... - Stay here.
- Don't go. - Oh...
- Odan, are we—? - Hmm?
Is this interfering with your work on the Peliar Zel problems?
Unfortunately, I've done about as much as I can until we get there,
because I just can't seem to keep my mind on my work right now.
- Odan. - Mm-hm?
- I have to go. - No.
- Promise me we'll be together tonight. - I promise.
Then you may go, Dr. Beverly.
It's just Beverly.
Not just Beverly.
It's Beverly's smile.
It's her kindness.
Her beauty within and without.
So much more than just Beverly.
Picard to Ambassador Odan.
Yes, captain, this is Odan.
The Federation representative from Peliar Zel has come aboard.
Would you care to meet us in the Observation Lounge?
I'll be right there, captain.
If the news were encouraging,
I assume you would not be here.
I'm afraid you're correct, captain.
The situation's growing progressively worse.
- Where have you been? - Uh, with a patient. Minor emergency.
Ambassador Odan.
This is Governor Leka Trion of Peliar Zel.
Ambassador, thank you for coming. I knew your father.
His efforts helped keep our people at peace for several generations.
I would hope to serve you as well as he.
Governor, ambassador...
I hope Dr. Crusher was able to help you with your headache.
Uh, thank you. Actually, she was.
Governor Leka has intercepted us before we reach her planet
in order to update us on the situation.
The people on our moons have been in discord
ever since they migrated from our planet five centuries ago.
To us on the planet, they're like two squabbling children.
We try to help them settle their arguments by not taking sides,
but this time we are at a loss.
Well, I've been studying the information you've sent.
If I understand correctly, the people of Alpha Moon
have found a way to tap directly into the magnetic field of your planet
and now rely exclusively on that energy source.
Yes, but the Beta Moon is now suffering
some environmental damage as a result.
My design models suggest
that Beta will eventually experience rising temperatures,
erratic tide surges, and in general, the beginning of global warming.
The impact on the health of the Betan people is clear.
There will be profound medical repercussions.
Alpha is unwilling to give up its newfound energy source.
Beta accuses them of intentionally courting genocide.
Our efforts to reach a compromise have failed.
And now we have received intelligence that both sides are arming for war.
If that happens, the people on my planet will begin to take sides,
and the outcome can only be disastrous.
We'll be in orbit around Peliar Zel within six hours.
If you could arrange
for the representatives of Alpha and Beta to be there.
And Ambassador Odan could beam directly down to the planet's surface.
Excuse me, captain, I prefer to shuttle to the surface.
I would not recommend it.
There are many radical factions involved in this dispute.
It would be difficult to guarantee your safety.
I'm sure I'm not the first who has expressed discomfort
at the idea of molecular transport.
Thank you, but I prefer to remain intact.
- I'll shuttle down. - As you wish.
Counselor, what is it?
It's Ambassador Odan.
I continually feel fluctuations of emotion from him.
Perhaps it's perfectly normal among the Trill.
It could be. We know so very little about them.
Yes, quite.
- Hi, Deanna. - Hi.
Is that the colognite astringent you have on your eyes?
Yes, I guess so.
I've never tried it.
Someone, just put it on me.
I didn't know you even came in here.
I don't.
At least, uh— At least, not very often.
But it feels good to indulge yourself sometimes.
I guess so.
Especially when you haven't done so in a while.
What is that suppose to mean?
Beverly, you're in love.
Sometimes I wish you weren't so empathic.
I don't think it's really a secret.
It isn't?
You've been glowing.
Oh.
Must be the astringent.
What?
Nothing.
Oh, yes, there is. What is it?
It's just something I sense in Odan.
What? What do you sense?
It's just...
How well do you really know him?
I feel I know him better than I've known anyone in my life.
Am I being foolish? I don't think so.
And yet I've only known him for a couple of weeks.
Of course, that could be infatuation. But I am a grown-up,
and I know the difference between love and infatuation.
Oh, all I know is,
I haven't felt this way for a long time.
And you like it.
I like it.
Come.
- You wanted to see me, captain? - Yes, ambassador. Please, sit down.
We have entered orbit.
We shall be transporting you to the planet in a few minutes.
Oh, I am ready, captain.
How will you proceed when you're there?
Oh, I cannot answer that.
I never know until I'm into the situation, meet the people involved.
I work very much by instinct, not by prearranged plan.
Ah. It seems to work well for you.
Well, I do like to go into a situation as well informed as possible.
And I must say that your staff
has been quite helpful in briefing me on the problems down there.
Particularly Dr. Crusher.
My staff is quite capable. I'm glad they've been useful.
Your Dr. Beverly
is an extraordinary person.
Both as a scientist
and as a woman.
Yes, I'm sure that's true.
Well, shall we make our way to the Shuttlebay?
Captain, you know her better than I.
Do you have any idea how committed she is to remaining with Starfleet?
I wouldn't presume to speak for her.
Oh, no. Of course not. I just thought,
well, you've known her so much longer than I.
Ensign Taggert to Captain Picard.
Yes, ensign.
The shuttle is ready to transport the ambassador.
Very well.
I'll find my own way, captain.
I hope to return with good news.
Commander Riker has asked to pilot you himself, ambassador.
I am honored.
- I don't know when I'll be back. - I know. Have a safe trip.
Oh, I will stay safe, Dr. Beverly. I have good reason to return.
I've researched Earth customs.
- This flower is given to express love. - Yes, it is.
Initiate shuttle preflight sequence.
Preflight under way. Counting to clearance.
Shuttle has cleared the bay door.
Commander Riker, you will be out of shield range in five seconds.
Acknowledged, lieutenant.
We'll be entering the upper ionosphere in two minutes and 20 seconds.
Sir, an unidentified ship is emerging from the limb of the moon.
Hail the vessel.
I have visual contact. I don't recognize it.
It claims to be an escort vessel from the Beta Moon.
There was no mention of an escort.
Request a security clearance code.
They do not answer, sir.
Commander Riker, prepare to return to the Shuttlebay.
Acknowledged.
Captain, they are loading their phaser banks.
Increasing power to the shields.
- Coming about. - Oh.
Engage tractor beam. Report, Number One.
We've lost port thrusters and both backup stabilizers.
- I'm losing control. - We're bringing you in.
Captain, the shuttle hull has been weakened. We're breaking up.
You can't tow us. You better beam us directly on board.
No. Don't do it.
I can't stabilize the shuttle.
If you transport me, it will kill me. Please.
Number One, we're ready to beam you aboard.
Belay that order, captain. I'll bring her in manually.
Advise Dr. Crusher we have a medical emergency.
He's in shock. He's lost a lot of blood.
But that still doesn't explain these readings.
Eosinophilia in the cerebrospinal fluid at 46 percent.
Sedimentation rate is 29, but his lymphocytes are still intact.
It's as though there's a parasite at work.
Odan.
I need to do exploratory surgery.
You may have a parasitic infection.
You must not.
You won't survive.
What is that?
Beverly, that is me.
What?
This body is just a host.
I am that parasite.
That is what must survive.
It has always been this way.
The Trill are a joined species.
A host and a symbiont.
And in this fashion we have survived for millennia.
You're dying. What can I do?
The host body is dying.
You must contact the Trill quickly.
Tell them I need another host. They will send a replacement.
I know this is difficult to accept,
but I beg you, Dr. Beverly,
help me.
This mission must be completed.
Odan's host body died of the injuries just over an hour ago,
but the symbiont being, Odan, is still alive.
Odan is the one who negotiated the last treaty.
But the man everyone thought was his father
was just another host body.
And the reason Odan refused the transporter?
It would have damaged the symbiont.
We've contacted the Trill. Another host will be here in 40 hours.
I've placed Odan in stasis.
He can survive another hour, maybe two, but not beyond that.
Would it be possible for me to serve as a temporary carrier?
No, Data, the relationship requires a biological being.
We're at a desperate impasse in the Peliar system.
The attack on the shuttlecraft has inflamed the dispute.
- Who was responsible? - No one will admit anything.
Each side accuses the other, and the threats are mounting.
We need Odan.
Doctor, could a human host carry him?
I believe so.
From Odan's description of the process,
- it should be possible, but I don't— - Then I volunteer.
There's been no precedent for a human host.
I couldn't guarantee what might happen.
The risk is too great, commander.
Weigh it against the prospect of war.
It's your choice, Will.
Let's get to it.
I've given you a local anesthetic.
You must be conscious during the implantation.
- Drugs might damage the symbiont. - I understand.
Laser scalpel.
How do you feel? Is there any pain?
No. There's some strange sensations.
- Vital signs. - Heart rate 110.
- Blood pressure 90 over 40. - I can't close yet.
The assimilation's not complete.
Pulse 130 and climbing. EEG is erratic.
He's gonna start fibrillating. 200 milligrams of metrazene.
Yes, doctor.
Hang on, Will.
We've got incorporation, doctor.
I'm closing.
Brain waves are still irregular.
The metrazene should've stabilized him.
I'll give it 10 more seconds before I go in again.
There we go. EEG approaching regular.
Blood pressure leveling off.
That's better. Signs are returning to normal.
Will, it's Beverly. Can you hear me?
Hello.
You're going to be all right.
How do you feel?
I'm fine.
You look a little tired, Dr. Beverly.
I know this must be disturbing, governor.
But you must convince the inhabitants of the moons that I am Odan.
I have his skills, his thoughts, his memories.
They will perceive you as a Starfleet officer,
perhaps with your own agenda.
The man they knew as my father,
the man who stands before them,
both are merely hosts.
It is your task to help them understand.
I will try.
I cannot promise they will listen.
They are more factionalized than ever.
Listening is a skill
which seems to have evaporated with the heat of argument.
Speak softly, governor.
Those who cannot hear an angry shout
may strain to hear a whisper.
I will do what I can.
Well done.
Mr. Worf, will you escort the ambassador to his quarters?
I'm just a little dizzy. I'll be fine.
- I just need to lie down. - Picard to Dr. Crusher.
Yes, captain?
Doctor, the ambassador is not well.
Will you please attend to him in his quarters?
Right away, sir.
White cell count is elevated, six-tenths of a degree temperature.
But no sign of rejection.
That's good.
- You look awfully pale. - Just a little weak
and light-headed.
Cerebral blood flow looks normal.
I'll leave a metabolic booster. Use it if the symptoms get worse.
- Beverly— - Beyond that, I don't know what to do.
- This is all new to me. - It is new to me as well.
Please, don't go. We've got to talk about this.
- I don't know what to say. - Nor do I.
But I know that the silence would injure us.
Well, maybe you should've thought about that sooner.
Maybe you should've told me what you were.
It didn't seem to bother you to remain silent yesterday.
It never occurred to me. This is what I am.
Did you ever tell me that you were only a single being?
Of course not. That was normal to you.
- I don't know who you are. - You must understand.
Whoever I seem to be, I am Odan,
who loved you. That has not changed.
- I still love you. - Oh.
I can't help that. If this causes you pain,
I will suppress it. I will keep my distance.
Dr. Beverly,
I would never hurt you.
May I join you?
You know, Deanna,
the first man I ever loved unconditionally was named Stefan.
He was a soccer player,
and I would watch him as he would race down the field.
And I thought my heart would stop because he was so beautiful.
We married and had three children:
twin boys, Andrew and Alexander,
and then later, a little girl, Jennifer.
Stefan became an artist, very famous.
He created huge, breathtaking metal sculptures.
He came to adore me as much as I worshiped him.
In my daydreams, at least.
Stefan was 11 and I was 8. He never even knew I existed.
Oh, Deanna, I loved Odan, I'm sure of it.
I had no doubts, no fears.
But what was it I loved? His eyes?
His hands? His mouth? They're gone.
If that was all it was, I should mourn him and go on.
But it was more than that.
I felt completely free with him,
unguarded, at ease with myself.
There were so many things that made him special to me.
But where are they? Are they still here,
alive in Will Riker?
I look at Will, and I see someone I've known for years.
A kind of brother.
But inside, is he really Odan?
Oh, help me, please.
- What do your feelings tell you? - I feel his pull.
It's very powerful.
I wish he'd never come on this ship.
Don't wish that, Beverly.
You can't be open to love if you don't risk pain.
I don't care. I'd give anything not to feel the way I do now.
He's here, isn't he?
Look at him.
I don't wanna look at him. Talk to me.
Just keep talking to me.
The first man I ever loved was my father.
He was strong and tall.
He carried me when the ground was muddy.
He chased away the monsters that hid under my bed at night.
And he sang to me
and kept me safe.
And he went away.
What I wouldn't give to hear those songs again,
to feel his arms protect me.
I never will.
But I can still feel his warmth and his love,
as though he were here with me.
If you can feel those things
from the man we know as Will Riker,
accept them.
Accept the love.
Captain's log, stardate 44823.8.
Representatives of the two moons of Peliar Zel
have agreed to come on board to meet the new Ambassador Odan.
White cell count is elevated.
It's getting higher and higher every time I read it.
- Are you in pain? - Not much.
Ambassador, we can stall the representatives.
They would see that as a deception. I must meet with them.
But surely, to present yourself in this condition
is not gonna help our cause.
I promise you, captain, they will never know that I'm ill.
Captain, the emissaries.
May I present Kalin Trose of Alpha Moon
and Lathal Bine of Beta Moon.
Thank you for receiving us, captain.
Is this Ambassador Odan?
Lathal Bine, it was your aunt who represented Beta 30 years ago.
- That is correct. - She was a formidable woman.
I had the utmost respect for her.
And who was it who spoke for Alpha so long ago?
That was you, of course, Kalin Trose.
Then you were a young man bristling with passion and zeal,
yet wise enough to understand
that your people needed peace to ensure their future.
And how did you achieve a compromise
between that young man
and the iron-willed woman of Beta Moon?
They agreed to trade places for a week,
to understand each other's situation with more-informed eyes.
After that, an agreement came swiftly.
Nothing that you have said is beyond what a schoolchild
could learn in a history book.
What is not commonly known is that during those negotiations,
you, Kalin Trose, quelled a plot
by a radical from your own moon
who was attempting to assassinate the Beta delegate.
It is true.
Perhaps he was wiser in his youth than he is now.
Odan, you must convince him to stop.
Will you accept me? Will you allow me to work with you?
Yes.
And Alpha Moon?
I will consider it, but I must consult others.
This is a typical tactic.
He is an obstructionist. You can see that.
Kalin Trose, you may confer with your people,
but we must have your answer within eight hours.
You shall have it.
His vital signs are overworked. His immune system is under attack.
I can only guess that he's suffering from classic rejection syndrome.
Is there any treatment you can give him?
I can administer an immunosuppressant.
That could help relieve the symptoms,
but it can't correct the underlying cause.
There is a foreign organism in his body.
Medical school didn't exactly prepare me for situations like this.
You're doing all you can.
Don't worry about me, captain. I'm fine.
Ambassador, when you feel up to it,
would you join me in my Ready Room?
Of course.
I can give you something that should help with the pain,
at least for a little while.
The pain's gone. Thank you.
Please don't.
Please let me touch you, just for a moment.
No, please.
It was a fast decision, which we must take as positive.
The Alphan representative has agreed,
however reluctantly, to let you mediate the dispute.
I knew they would.
They are reasonable people.
They're just trapped in their own anger.
Have no doubt, however,
that they will bolt if something goes wrong in the discussion.
Then it's my job to see that nothing goes wrong.
Did I say something wrong, Captain Picard?
No, it's just that
for a moment you sounded more like Will Riker.
We have received information
that the new host will arrive in 18 hours.
Will you be all right until then?
The medication Dr. Beverly gave me has helped.
I will find a way to keep going.
Lemon tea.
Computer, location of Dr. Beverly Crusher.
Dr. Crusher is in her quarters.
Can you make balso tonic?
There is no formula on record.
Please supply a molecular structure.
Never mind.
Come in.
I thought I should see how you were doing,
if you needed another hypospray.
I don't think so.
The symptoms haven't returned.
- Oh, well, that's good. - Yes.
Uh, tomorrow's an important day. Do you feel ready for it?
- I'll be fine. I've been preparing. - Oh, that's good.
Yes.
I'll, um, check your vital signs in the morning
before the representatives get here.
I don't want them knowing that I'm taking any medication.
Maybe you could schedule a series of breaks.
- That's good. - Yes.
Beverly, I want you.
If you're going to leave, you better go right now.
I'm not leaving.
Captain's log, stardate 44824.4.
Governor Leka and the representatives of the two moons
are ready to transport on board.
We have learned that they each have troops massed
and are ready for combat if this final effort at peace is not successful.
White count is back up. Temperature's elevated.
The effects of the medication are wearing off faster every time.
I'll administer one now
and hope that it will hold for an hour or so.
No. No more.
Ambassador, it's clear you're in pain.
You can't get through the next hours without help.
I must.
Are the injections damaging to the host's body, Riker's body?
Yes.
We can't put him through any further risk.
But how can you function, conduct the meeting?
I'll manage.
We will respect your wishes.
One more thing. I will conduct the mediations today,
but at the end of today, regardless of the outcome,
I must be removed from Riker's body,
even if the new host has not arrived.
But you won't survive.
Riker will not survive if I am not removed.
He has done enough.
Your word.
Very well.
Worf to Captain Picard.
Yes, Mr. Worf?
The governor and the two representatives have returned.
I will escort them to the Observation Lounge.
Thank you.
I'll stand by with the medication just in case.
The pain may become so intense that I'll have to—
Beverly.
Whatever else I may be to you, I'm your friend.
I can only imagine what you're going through.
And I want you to know, I'm here.
Jean-Luc.
- Computer, what is the time? - 1535 hours.
They've been in there for almost six hours.
Captain, I am receiving a message from the ship carrying the Trill host.
- Are they here, Worf? - No. They are experiencing difficulty.
They do not anticipate their arrival for another nine hours.
Nine hours?
It was worth it.
Ambassador.
They will not go to war.
See that the representatives are safely transported off the ship.
Ensign, set a course to intercept with the Trill vessel.
- Prepare to go to warp 9. - Sir,
it could take more than two hours to reach the vessel.
I must remove him. I gave my word.
Will's gonna be all right.
His vital signs have stabilized, and he's sleeping now.
- How is Odan? - I've placed him in stasis.
He's fine for the moment.
- You need some rest, doctor. - No. If Odan is to survive,
he needs to be implanted in the new host
as soon as he arrives. I'll wait here.
It'll be some time.
I know.
Doctor.
- Is the Trill host here? - Yes.
Good. Bring him in.
Doctor.
I am Kareel. I am to become host to Odan.
The operation to implant Odan into the new host
was completed at 1900 hours
and appears to have been successful.
There were no difficulties in assimilation.
Dr. Beverly, could we talk for a moment?
You should be sleeping. You need to rest.
I've never felt better, except once or twice.
My poor Beverly.
This has been so hard for you.
I wanna thank you, for your caring, for your standing by me.
I congratulate you.
You averted a war that would've cost many lives.
Yes.
It seems as though everything has turned out for the best.
And, yes, I am still Odan, and I still love you.
I cannot imagine that ever changing.
I'm glad that you're all right.
Is there to be nothing more?
Perhaps it is a human failing,
but we are not accustomed to these kinds of changes.
I can't keep up.
How long will you have this host?
What would the next one be?
I can't live with that kind of uncertainty.
Perhaps someday,
our ability to love
won't be so limited.
I understand.
Odan,
I do love you.
Please remember that.
I will never forget you.