I think that you are an outstanding lawyer,
and I just think that we could do great things together.
No doubt we could.
You must feel like you're responsible
for this woman's death, and as far as I'm concerned,
if you don't do something about it, you are.
Bowie says he couldn't have murdered the woman
because he was busy breaking into Greg Fisher's house.
- The movie producer? - I need you to get him
to give us the security footage from his cameras.
He signed with Erica.
- You want this? - What do you want for it?
You have something of mine, and I'm here to take it back.
You saw something you wanted,
you knew how much it mattered to me,
yet you didn't give a damn.
You still think I did it.
Why is it so important I believe you?
Because I'm a human being, Stuart,
and I would never take another life.
I can't come in and run this division
and then fall into some kind of relationship
with a name partner. Gotta be one or the other.
Can I have some time to think about it?
- Don't take too long. - I won't.
As your friend, I'm telling you,
you'll look like an idiot if you bring charges.
Told you this was a courtesy.
We arrested him ten minutes before I walked in here.
I'm thinking about getting a earring.
- No. - No?
- You had one. - I was... I was 13.
And it looked way better on me than it ever would on you.
Man, why you got to be like that?
For your own protection, Stuart.
- Time will tell. - No, it won't.
Fine.
You think it's going to be you? - I know it's going to be me.
- Excuse me. - Look at the facts, Stuart.
The facts are, I've outscored you
on every test we've ever taken since our first year.
I'm sorry, I almost fell asleep there,
like every professor during every oral argument
that you have ever given.
It was one time. Callahan had a new baby.
He got no sleep the night before.
He got plenty of sleep... during your presentation.
All right, gentlemen.
I'm sure you're both dying to know which one of you
is number one and which is number two.
Dean Harris, deliver the bad news.
Put Stuart out of his misery.
Not so fast, Mr. Black.
For the first time in the history of Columbia Law,
the top two students are exactly tied.
- What? - Really?
Therefore, for the first time,
the winner will be determined by a mock trial.
Thank God.
Can't we just take a test or something?
This is a test, Mr. Lane.
A father and two sons were in a car.
All three tested drunk.
The older brother was driving.
The father was in the front seat.
The younger brother, who is now in a coma,
was passed out in the back when the older brother
hit and killed a pedestrian.
You'll recruit people to play their parts.
The real question is, which one of you
is going to be the prosecution
and who is going to be the defense?
I don't ever want to be defense, ever.
- That's fine by me. - Prosecution.
- Thank you. - Defense.
One more thing...
you'll each be allowed to change one fact or detail
about the case,
because in the real world,
curveballs come up at court every day.
Got your ass-kicking tie on.
They're all ass-kicking ties.
Well, if you're about to go kick Isaac's ass,
why'd you have so much trouble sleeping last night?
I thought we agreed no analyzing me
before I go to court. - When did we agree to that?
Right now when I just said it.
Isaac said something to me. It got to me.
He said I'm responsible for this murder
because I shared information he gave me with my client,
and four hours later, a woman was dead.
Well, did you have any idea that this might happen
when you shared it with your client?
Of course not.
Well, maybe Isaac's saying it's your fault
because he really thinks it's his.
What good does that do me?
If you can see that it isn't his fault,
maybe you can see it isn't yours.
Okay, what was so important it couldn't wait?
Your Honor, I asked for this hearing
because this case should never go to trial.
Said every defense lawyer ever.
We have more than enough evidence to proceed.
And last I checked, the judge is the one who decides that.
What's this?
Security-camera footage which proves David Bowie
was at a different location when Janet Fields was murdered.
You've got to be kidding me.
You're saying he couldn't have murdered her
because he was robbing someone else?
Yes, I am, and if you want to charge him
with that, Isaac, be my guest.
I have to say,
this is compelling grounds for dismissal.
Your Honor, I want to subpoena the person
who gave him this footage.
He has nothing to do with this.
They're using this footage as an alibi,
and I don't know anything about where it came from
or the person who gave it to them.
Would you like to examine the guy who installed
the security cameras?
Or, oh, what about the man who invented film?
If it helps prove that evidence is a lie,
I'll subpoena your mother.
My mother wouldn't get caught on film.
Okay, that's enough.
The footage is compelling, but Mr. Adani can question
the man who provided it. - Your Honor, I think...
Whatever you're going to say, save it till next time.
We're done here.
Okay, I'm here.
What's going on?
I just got a subpoena for Greg Fisher
to answer questions about that security footage.
- And? - I need you to make sure
Greg's dirty laundry doesn't get aired in public.
Why are you asking me and not Stuart?
A few years ago, Stuart took something from me.
I couldn't stand it.
And I couldn't stand the way he took it.
So I used that security footage as leverage to get it back,
and I didn't do it gently.
So he won't do this for you, but he might do it for me.
Yes.
I'll take care of it.
Thank you.
Wait a second.
Is this why your mother's sculpture suddenly reappeared?
It is.
What do you mean you couldn't stand the way he took it?
He stole it?
No, he tricked me.
He made me look like a fool.
How?
Ted, I want to go over the ground rules.
Can it wait a minute, Stuart? I'm going to go on a run.
Unless you'd like to join me. - You know I can't do that.
The Lane men suffer from knock-knees.
It's not a laughing matter.
I'm sorry. It's not a laughing matter.
Okay, Stuart. Hit me. What would you like to discuss?
I want to know if we're in a gunfight or a knife fight.
Stuart, you're my roommate, my best friend, and I love you,
but I'm going to tear you to pieces,
and I don't want you to come crying to me when I win.
That's exactly what I wanted to hear,
because when this is all said and done,
you're going to be the one crying.
Okay.
Um...
B-before we actually get started here,
there is... there is one thing.
I would...
I would really like Eddie to play the younger brother.
The brother's in a coma. He won't have anything to do.
I know, but I want him to have a chance
to feel like he's part of the action.
That's a great idea.
Of course...
on one condition.
I get to pick all the other parts.
Are you kidding me?
I'm trying to do a nice thing for my brother here.
You're going to leverage it?
You just said we're in a gunfight.
This is war. War is hell.
That was a test. I wouldn't have it any other way.
All right, hey, you want to do the thing one time
before we're on opposite sides?
We're already on opposite sides.
Come on.
Okay.
Really?
No.
War really is hell.
May I speak with you for a second?
- What is it? - The last time that we spoke,
you were, uh, looking for an answer,
and I had some unexpected business in New York.
But I thought about it a lot, and I have one.
It doesn't matter.
I thought that we were going to have
a conversation about this. - I thought so, too.
And then you disappeared for a week.
So that's it?
I don't know what you want me to say.
Actions speak louder than words.
I've been up and running
as the head of the Criminal Division since Monday.
Okay.
Well, uh, if you are up and running,
then we need to make an announcement
as soon as possible.
Big, splashy case, preferably related to entertainment...
Do you have anything that fits the bill?
- You know Sierra Carson? - Of course I do.
Teen star accused of assaulting her father.
That will make a great announcement.
- Not quite. - Why?
Because I still haven't signed her.
Then we're getting off on the wrong foot.
- What's going on, Ted? - Nothing's going on.
But the answer to the question,
"do you have anything that fits the bill?" should've been no.
Let me get this straight.
You want me to play the part of a therapist?
Well, you are studying to be a therapist.
I think that's a bad idea.
Why?
Because you and Ted are friends.
This has trouble written all over it,
not to mention that you said the gloves are off.
I mean, he's going to use me against you.
All Ted can do is ask
if the brother admitted to feeling guilt in session.
And when he does, I come in and say,
you're covered by doctor-patient privilege.
Nothing more can happen. Trust me.
Stuart, why is this so important to you?
You told me you fell in love with Alan Sepiol
while watching him win debate club regionals.
That was high school.
I saw the look on your face
when you were telling me about watching him.
And you want me to have that same look
when I'm watching you? - Yes.
And the only reason you'd say no
is if you think I can't beat him.
You have got to get over this chip on your shoulder
that you think he's better than you.
What do you think I'm trying to do?
- Okay, I'll do it. - You're the best.
Yeah, I'm the best girlfriend ever.
Hey, we need to talk, and we need to talk now.
- Excuse me? - Erica did us a solid
by giving us that footage,
and now her client is being dragged into your case.
I'm not the one who called Fisher as a witness.
No, but you're the one that knows what was stolen.
You mean I know the identity of Fisher's co-star
on that sex tape? - Yes.
And you better make damn sure that none of that comes out.
- I don't appreciate your tone. - I don't care.
You asked for my help.
I got Erica to do this. We owe her.
Well, he's got to say something
about what was stolen.
What he's going to say is the truth.
Two pieces of jewelry and 20,000 in cash
were taken from that safe, and that is it.
Fine.
I'll do my best to keep the rest out of it.
No, that's not good enough.
Erica told me what you did to get her mother's sculpture,
and you owe her a hell of a lot more than just giving it back.
Whether I owe Erica or not,
my job is to serve my client, not your girlfriend.
And if one conflicts with the other,
you know what's going to happen.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'll be brief.
The defendant was drunk.
He plowed into the victim,
killing him in his father's BMW,
and he admitted to all of this at the scene.
This trial will be short.
Your only job is deciding what the punishment should be.
Your Honor, the prosecution and I agree on one thing.
This is going to be a short trial,
because in lieu of opening statements,
I move for a directed verdict.
Objection. On what basis?
On the basis they got the wrong guy.
I have a witness I'd like to call to the stand.
What witness?
The father of the man on trial.
- What are you doing? - Winning.
Who was driving the car
on the night the victim was killed?
- I was. - And yet, at the scene,
your son said he was the one driving.
Why would he do that?
Because he wanted to protect me.
- Why would you let him do it? - Because I was drunk.
And I was touched by the depth of his feelings for me.
But I had to come forward,
because as much as he loves me, I love him even more.
Dean, I'm sorry to break character,
but I want to go on the record as saying
that if Stuart is going to go down this road,
this counts as his one allowance
to change the facts of the case.
I didn't change anything.
I simply informed my client
if his father was really the one driving that car,
this case would be over.
You mean you got that bastard to lie on the stand?
I would never suborn perjury in a moot court
or anywhere else.
No, you'd just bring my father into it.
All right, that's enough.
The only thing he did was pull one hell of a move.
He didn't change any facts.
I'm going to give you 15 minutes
to prepare for cross.
What the hell are you doing?
I'm representing my client to the best of my ability.
I mean picking my father to play that part
when you could have had anybody else?
Oh, get over it, Ted.
All you got to do is prove that he lied up there.
The only way to do that is to get him to say
that he was sacrificing himself for his son,
which is something that he would never do.
Sounds to me like you're saying
I picked the right choice to play your father.
Remember,
you started this.
I'm not going to have to say anything about the sex tape,
correct?
- No, you're not. - You're sure?
I'm about to make sure.
Amanda, what is it? I am a little busy.
I'm trying to sign a client
that has an entertainment element,
and I could use a little background on her.
- Who's the client? - Sierra Carson.
When are you going to meet with her?
- I'm due in court in an hour. - Then I can't help you.
Because right in this moment, I am in court myself.
Hey, just so we're clear...
that sex tape, off the table.
You want clarity? I'll tell you what I told Rick.
I'll do my best, but I make no guarantees,
because my client's best interest
is more important than yours.
Gentlemen, are we ready?
Mr. Fisher,
what exactly was stolen the night your security camera
conveniently caught Mr. Bowie on tape?
A watch, a bracelet that belonged to my grandmother,
and $20,000 cash.
Family heirloom. How sad.
You must have called the police
the second you discovered what was missing.
I never called the police.
So money and things of sentimental value were stolen,
yet you never reported it.
Why would that be?
I used other channels to get it back.
I think you didn't report it
because you staged this whole thing
as a favor to David Bowie. - Objection.
There's no evidence of that. - Yes, there is.
Mr. Fisher, isn't it true that you hired David Bowie
six months ago?
Yes, I did.
- For what? - I'd rather not say.
And I'd rather you did.
I hired him to retrieve an item of mine
that someone else had.
So you hired him to commit a crime?
I didn't ask how he got it back.
You mean you didn't care how he got it back.
- Objection. - He committed a crime for you
or got it back by some miracle.
Either way, you have a soft spot in your heart for him.
I don't care if he...
You set up this whole fake robbery to create an alibi.
- Your Honor. Your Honor! - That's enough.
I have to say, Mr. Adani has created enough doubt
about the motives of this witness
for us to move forward with trial.
Your Honor, what if I could prove this man hates my client
and would never lift a finger to help him?
Stuart, do not do this.
- I'll do what I have to do. - You know what?
This is why people don't like you.
You put yourself above the team every time.
I'm putting my client above everything else,
which is what a lawyer is supposed to do.
Teddy, this is great. We're all in the trial.
Yeah, Eddie, it's really great.
Do you mind if I talk to Dad for a second?
I saw you storm off earlier.
You all finished with your temper tantrum?
What are you even doing here?
I'm here to see what kind of man you are.
Walk me through that.
I knew this would put you in a tough position.
So will you rise to the occasion,
or did your mother make you weak?
My mother raised me and Eddie.
She didn't prepare you for things like this
that happen in real life.
In real life, you wouldn't be lying about driving that car.
You would have been driving that car,
and then you would have pressured me or Eddie
to say that it was us.
Teddy, I don't like this.
Mr. Black,
are you ready to cross-examine the father?
Your Honor, I was going to call this man up there
and say that his confession was a lie,
that he was only claiming to be behind the wheel
because he loves his son.
But the truth is that he has no love for his son,
and he actually was the one driving the car.
- What's going on here? - And therefore,
I move to place him under arrest
for vehicular manslaughter. - No, no, this is my client.
If he's found innocent, I win. - Except for one thing.
I'm using my one change to make the father the new defendant.
Stuart, I'm afraid that Ted's right.
And since the new defendant has just confessed to the crime
in front of the jury,
I rest my case.
Okay.
We'll pick this up tomorrow with Mr. Lane.
I have to say, this is proving to be quite the battle.
You may think I'm weak,
but I'm certainly not stupid,
because I just found a way to call you a terrible father
and win my trial, all at the same time.
You going to ice me out all night,
or do you want to talk about it?
I don't know, Stuart... you got any more surprises for me?
Maybe you want to call Adolf Hitler to the stand.
You're going to compare your father with Adolf Hitler?
He was a really bad father.
My father and I had a blowup in front of Eddie, Stuart.
You know how much that upsets him.
How would you feel
if I had done something like that to you?
I'd think it's not personal. You're just trying to win.
Look, man, if that's...
if that's what you think, then that's what you think.
Ms. Carson, aggravated assault of a loved one
is a serious allegation.
Do you have anything to say before I rule on your bail?
I'd prefer my client not answer, Your Honor.
- Are you sure? - Your Honor, if I may.
Ms. Carson is a public figure without a passport.
Not only should her bail be set at zero,
she should be given a new attorney.
- I'm her attorney. - This person is not qualified.
He was appointed by the court.
Because Ms. Carson was told
she couldn't afford one herself.
- I can't. - Yes, you can.
Your Honor, I'd like to file a motion
for conservator-in-limine.
She already has a conservator.
Yes, her father, the man she's accused of assaulting.
Do we think that's the best person
to decide whether or not she can spend money she earned
on a competent attorney? - I take offense at that.
Be that as it may, Arnold,
it appears you are not as up to the task as Ms. Stevens.
But I don't want to force representation on anyone.
Ms. Carson,
would you prefer to be represented by this woman?
Don't you want to know if I did it?
- Not right now. - Why not?
Because if you didn't, I'll believe you.
And if you did, I'm going to prove he deserved it.
How can you know all that?
Because I was emancipated from my father.
I believe I have myself a new attorney, Your Honor.
You're the therapist of the former defendant, correct?
I am.
And did the two of you ever talk about his feelings?
Of course we did. That's the point of therapy.
In that case, did the former defendant, my new client's son,
ever say anything about feeling guilty about driving his car
into the victim? - Yes, many times.
Objection.
That answer is subject to doctor-patient privilege.
Your Honor, that privilege only applies
when the patient is in jeopardy.
And since the prosecution saw fit to dismiss
the former defendant's case, there is no jeopardy.
Objection overruled.
So since my new client clearly wasn't driving the car,
why would he say he was?
You don't have to be a therapist to answer that.
I mean, what father wouldn't lie
about being behind the wheel to protect his own son?
Which means he wasn't behind the wheel
and my new client is innocent.
No more questions, Your Honor.
For the record, who paid for those therapy sessions?
Was it your patient, or was it his father?
- His father. - So you owe the man.
I don't owe anyone.
My responsibility is to my patient,
not the man who pays his bills.
So to clarify,
you wouldn't lie to protect the defendant?
- No, I wouldn't. - Good.
Because my real question is, would you lie
to protect his attorney? - What?
Isn't it true that you're in a relationship
with Stuart Lane? - Yes, but...
Did you not recently tell me that you wanted to marry him?
I told you that in confidence.
- Your Honor... - And if you want to marry him,
doesn't it stand to reason
that you would do anything within your power
to help him get ahead? - Dean!
Isn't it true that your future with Stuart Lane
is far more secure if he finishes first in this class
rather than second?
Yes, but I wouldn't ever lie for him...
But you just said,
what father wouldn't lie to protect his own son?
Do you expect a jury to buy that a future wife
wouldn't lie to protect her own husband?
Okay, I am done with this entire thing.
Helen. Helen, wait.
Damn it, Stuart,
Ted just revealed something intimate
that I wanted to share with you myself.
I know it's upsetting,
but, Helen, hearing you want to marry me is good news.
That doesn't make it any better.
And on top of that, he attacked my integrity
in front of everyone in that stupid room.
He didn't say those things about you.
He said them about the character you're playing.
Are you kidding me?
I tell you how I feel, and you're going to lawyer me?
Do you even understand me at all?
How am I the bad guy here? Ted did this.
I'll tell you how.
I told you I didn't want to do this, and you didn't listen.
So go back in there and do what you have to do, but I am done.
Mr. Lane, another five minutes,
I was going to declare a winner,
and it wasn't going to be you. - I'm sorry, Your Honor.
How would you like to proceed?
Defense would like to call
the younger brother to the stand.
What? No, he can't do that.
The... the younger brother is in a coma.
He was, but I want to use my one change
to say he just woke up.
He was passed out the entire time.
He doesn't know anything.
He can still speak about both his brother and his father.
In that case, we'll convene tomorrow
with the brother on the stand.
Stuart, don't do this.
It's too late for that.
You went after Helen.
I'm going after Eddie.
Mr. Fisher, you said you hired my client
to retrieve an item someone had taken.
Was this item part of what was stolen that night?
- It was. - I'm confused.
Why would my client want to steal something
he retrieved for you in the first place?
I really can't be sure.
Well, I think we'd all be sure
if you just told us what the item was.
It was a sex tape.
What the hell does this have to do with anything?
You're about to find out, Isaac,
because Mr. Fisher is about to tell us
the name of the woman he is with on that tape.
Your Honor, my client's right to privacy
precludes him from being forced to answer this question.
- It doesn't preclude me. - Stuart.
You filmed yourself having sex with Dana David,
who's married to the head of the studio
who controls every project you have.
And isn't it true that affair coming out
could ruin your career?
I guess we're about to find out.
So he stole that tape to blackmail you,
and you hate him for it? - He did, and I do.
Your Honor...
we've provided rock-solid evidence
David Bowie could not have committed this murder.
The prosecution's ridiculous theory
that these two fabricated this evidence
has been blown out of the water.
He tried. He failed.
This case never should have been brought
in the first place.
It's time for it to be dismissed.
- Your Honor, the people... - I've heard enough.
I'm dismissing the charges. This case is over.
Look, I know we had some issues along the way,
but I was wrong about you.
You got the job done. Thanks, Stuart.
I don't care what just happened.
You told him about Janet Fields.
He killed her,
and you know it.
Stuart, I need to know what you're planning for Eddie.
I'm going to ask him some questions.
He's going to read from a script
that says the father said that he was the one driving the car
to protect the brother.
And the brother let him do it because he hates the father,
hates Eddie, and is a selfish bastard
that would do anything to protect his own skin.
Are you seriously going to make Eddie say that I hate him?
No, I'm going to have him say his fictitious brother
hates his character.
He can't tell the difference, Stuart.
Neither could Helen.
You're the one who picked her.
- And you picked Eddie. - Not to testify.
I wanted him to feel like he was a part of things.
Well, now he is a part of things.
And if him getting a little upset
is the price he has to pay for me winning...
Jesus, Stuart, you used my father, I used Helen!
We're even!
I don't want to be even!
Okay. All right, no, I get it.
This is about you being jealous of me
and just doing anything to win.
No, this is about you being jealous that I'm going to win.
If you want to stop me from putting Eddie on the stand,
all you have to do is forfeit.
But you'll never do that,
because it would mean admitting to everyone
that I'm better than you.
I hear things went well.
Why do you look like someone killed your puppy?
Because I used falsified evidence.
- What am I looking at? - Bowie's alibi.
Something about it kept gnawing at me,
so I came back to take a look at it.
He doctored the time stamp?
- It's not even him. - I see his face right there.
That's what he wants you to focus on.
But inside, he's masked the whole time.
He breaks in at the time of Janet Fields' death,
voids the alarms, hacks the safe, gets the goods.
By the time we get to this last shot, it's an hour later.
- Isn't it continuous? - Almost.
He reaches the door at 2:35 a.m. and 37 seconds.
Then he goes out of frame and reappears outside...
20 feet away. - At 2:35 a.m. and 37 seconds.
So, unless he can teleport in zero time...
- This isn't real. - No, it's not.
I was so stuck on the fact that if Bowie were guilty,
he must have hired someone to kill her.
But the more I thought about it,
if he wanted Janet Fields dead,
he would have done it himself.
- Stuart. - He murdered that woman
because of me, and I'm the reason he got away with it.
Stuart, do not do what you are thinking.
I have an obligation. I know that evidence was false.
No, you don't, because you shouldn't have looked
at it in the first place. - God damn it!
Her blood is on my hands!
Stuart, I don't like this case or this client,
but you didn't kill this woman.
Take the damn win...
and move on.
Hey.
Helen, what are you doing here?
You were supposed to come home two hours ago
and you didn't call.
What's going on?
Helen.
What are you doing here?
I came to tell you that I'm not mad at you anymore.
I meant I thought you wouldn't want to come here
if you thought Ted were here.
Well, I knew Ted wasn't going to be here
because he came to see me. - No.
Stuart, look, he... he apologized to me.
He came to you, told you what I was going to do,
and now you're here to talk me out of it.
Yes, I am.
Do you know what something like this
could do to someone like Eddie?
Because I do.
He wouldn't back down if the shoe were on the other foot.
We're not talking about what Ted would do.
We're talking about what you're going to do.
I'm going to win.
You said that you wanted to spend
the rest of your life with me.
This is about me being number one and setting up our future.
No, it's proving to the world that you're better than Ted
at all costs.
I never get to be the best at anything!
Why don't you just go tell him to forfeit to save Eddie?
Because he's not the man I love, Stuart.
You are.
I'm here early, like you asked.
Eddie, why don't you hop up on the witness stand
and wait for Stuart?
Okay, before Eddie has to testify,
I want you to change your plea to guilty
and throw yourself on the mercy of the court.
Oh, I get it. You want to win by cheating.
I didn't know you had that in you.
I like that. - I'm not cheating.
I'm asking for this...
So that Eddie doesn't have to take the stand.
Well, then I'm not going to do it.
Why not?
Because he has always been your Achilles' heel.
He's made you weak since you were little,
and now you're asking me to get you out of this.
The answer is no. - Dad, come...
Would you toughen the hell up?
You let that clown defense attorney
do whatever it is he's going to do,
and then you cross-examine Eddie,
and you rip him to pieces. - I'm not going to do that.
Then lay down and forfeit.
But stop blaming me for your problems.
I'm sick of it. - You're a real son of a bitch.
You don't have the first clue how the world works...
Stop fighting.
Looks like everyone's here. Is the defense ready?
Stuart?
I'm not calling any more witnesses.
Defense rests, Your Honor.
Then it's time for closing statements.
Is the prosecution ready?
The prosecution withdraws its case, Your Honor.
We got the wrong guy.
Well, this has never happened before.
Maybe not, but...
as a prosecutor, I want to understand that...
justice is more important than winning.
Well, then I guess we're all done here.
I knew it.
Weak is the kind of lawyer you want to be.
This isn't about what kind of lawyer I want to be.
This is about what kind of man I am.
And like always,
it's the opposite of you.
Thank you, Stuart.
Right back at you.
Now can we do it?
You bet your ass we can.
Hey, coming in.
- Come on. - Come on in, buddy.
Group hug.
You wanted something for a splashy press release.
Here you go.
You signed her. How'd you make that happen?
From the time she was a kid,
her father managed every move,
dictated every choice.
She felt trapped with no way out.
I related to that.
I was under the impression
that you had a good relationship with your father.
That's my stepfather.
My biological father...
Real piece of work.
Mine too.
When Sierra was arrested,
she said she was innocent... do you believe her?
I'm pretty sure she did it.
Is that going to be a problem?
When I offered you the position,
I said that you could do with the department
what you see fit, and I meant it.
- Good. - Ah, hey, just...
I... the other day...
I shouldn't have snapped at you like that.
I think my...
feelings might have been a little hurt.
If I'm being honest,
maybe mine were, too.
I should have called you when I was in New York.
I should have waited for you to come back.
Are you sure that this is what you want?
Because... - Ted,
this is how it has to be for now.
- I got to take that. - Yeah.
Hey.
I heard about what happened in court.
I know that is not what you wanted.
Did you hear Greg Fisher dropped me?
No, I didn't.
I came to you because I thought you understood
this was important to me. - I did.
Then I revealed to you things that I'd rather not have.
You said you'd take care of it.
- I did take care of it. - In what goddamn way?
I got him to say he would do his best.
I'm sorry it didn't work. - He did his best, all right.
He humiliated my client and ruined my reputation
all in one shot.
Then why the hell are you coming to me and not Stuart?
Because this all started when you asked me to do him a favor,
and it ended up biting me in the ass.
No, you used that to get your mother's sculpture back,
so that is not what this is about.
What are you getting at?
This is you, once again, using what is going on
to find a reason to be near me
instead of just admitting
being near me is really what you want.
This all started with you.
Your fake client and wanting a quote
and calling and the flirting
when you know that I... - You what?
And don't say that you don't like it, because you do.
What is stopping you?
I can't.
Well, then I can't do this anymore.
What are you saying?
I've been honest with you about what I want.
I want to be with you.
If you don't want to be with me...
I think we just need to stay away from each other.
Not so fast, Counselor.
Bowie. What are you doing here?
Could ask you the same, but I already know the answer.
'Cause that's Isaac Adani's house.
You found out something,
and you're here to clear your conscience.
I figured out you doctored that footage,
which means you're a murderer.
And you used me to pinpoint your victim
and hand-deliver your alibi.
You tell that to Adani, you get disbarred.
- I know how the law works. - I'm just here to remind you.
Remind me of what?
That you'd kill any witness that would testify against you?
Yeah, I killed Janet Fields,
and I will kill you.
But I'm not going to have to,
because you don't want to hurt Helen
or your sweet children or even poor Isaac Adani.
There is nothing I won't do
to keep myself from going to prison.
Well, before you go ahead and put me down,
you should know that Isaac Adani
is in that house right now watching us.
No, he's not.
Isaac Adani is out to dinner with his wife.
Isaac Adani might be out for dinner...
but I'm not.
- Ted. - Stuart, how are you?
I know you. You're Ted Black.
Yes, I am,
and I recorded everything that you just said.
So if anything ever happens to my good friend,
you are going to spend the rest of your miserable life
in prison. - Uh-uh.
I know how the law works.
I didn't consent to being recorded,
so you can't use that.
I'm sorry, you misunderstood.
I got here
about an hour before you even showed up.
You see, I'm collecting footage for a documentary
that I'm putting together.
It's on the mating habits of the pileated woodpecker.
Your voice was a byproduct
and therefore completely admissible.
And before you start whining
about attorney-client privilege,
Black & Associates is not your law firm.
Now be on your goddamn way.
Okay.
I was never here.
But if that gets heard...
you know what I'm capable of.
Ted...
I don't get it. How are you here?
Helen called and wanted me to take care of you.
She told you to set up Bowie outside of Adani's house?
She wanted me to talk you out of coming here
in the first place,
but I knew that you were going to do it anyway,
like I know a guy like Bowie
isn't going to take his eyes off you
until he's sure it's over.
So I did the next best thing.
So you didn't listen to my wife?
Well, she just goes on and on, and blah, blah, blah.
And, "Ted, protect my husband."
It's enough already.
Thank you, brother. - Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey.
Let's get you home, all right?
Pileated woodpecker?
What? I mean, I'm... I'm a birdsmith.
- You're a something. - Did you pee your pants?
The contents of my underpants are none of your business.
It's like a damn mudslide in there.
I got to say, you take away us casting
only people we cared about,
it was one hell of a heavyweight fight.
You're not kidding.
Getting the father to admit he did it was masterful.
You countering by arresting the father
was a stroke of genius.
Using the therapist against her own patient.
Forcing her to admit to an improper relationship
with the defense attorney... it was one haymaker after another.
It sure was a slugfest.
Speaking of the therapist...
Yeah.
When exactly did Helen tell you she wanted to marry me?
- A few months ago. - "A few months ago"?
You kept this to yourself the entire time?
Didn't want to clue me in?
She asked me to keep it a secret, Stuart,
and I didn't want to betray her trust.
Except in front of a room full of strangers.
Let's not relive that.
Just tell me... what exactly did she say?
She said that if she met me first, she'd be with me.
- Oh, my God, seriously! - And she...
I am being serious, Stuart.
I mean, she didn't exactly say that, but come on.
I'm the smoothest man with the ladies you know.
Hey, boys.
Ted, this is my friend Samantha.
- Hi. - Um...
Sorry. - Are you okay?
Uh, yeah, I'm fine.
It's nice to "seet" you, Mamantha.
Nice to "seet" you, too, Fred.
- It's Ted. - I know.
Oh.
Smoothest guy I know.
Okay, he's settled.
He said he was going to take a shower, and...
he's in your hands now.
Ted, I can't thank you enough.
I know you and Stuart have had your differences lately,
but...
you're still family.
I know.
You too.
Aaron. Aaron!