Ha ha ha!
- You can change the outcome of this cartoon
With the power of your mind.
- There's just gotta be a shrunken head in this pile!
Jeez, what kind of a weirdo would collect all this junk?
- Can i help you find something?
- Do you have a shrunken head?
- What do you mean by that?
- Holy freak show!
I mean, nothing.
- Are you gonna buy something, smart guy?
- Pssh! Right! I got nothing!
I'm penniless! A pauper!
Too poor to pay attention!
Too cheap to buy this cheesy crud!
Nice kick!
- These are man-Eating comics, kid...
The best in all the underworld!
- Are you kidding? This rag is amateur.
Just look at how he spots his darks.
- Oh! Aah!
- Ha ha ha!
- Ok. Ow.
- Billy, are you all right?
- No, i am broke. - Indeed.
- Can i borrow 5 bucks?
- Certainly not!
You'll never learn the value of money
Until you earn it yourself.
- Whoa, that's so... Grown-Up!
- Here, i'll give you a comic book
If you stop your whining.
- Man-Eating comics! "gory mayhem part two!"
Sweet!
Whoa. This could warp my little mind!
- Too late for that. Now, beat it, billy!
I have other customers.
- Ok.
- Do you have the latest issue of "cruel but funny"?
- I'm, like, totally desensitized to gore and mayhem.
Who says comic books aren't good for you?
What i need is a harebrained scheme to get rich quick
Without hardly trying.
Huh?
Wow! A chocolate sailor!
- That's right, matey! I'm a chocolate sailor!
Would you like to buy some chocolate?
- What do you want from me, chocolate sailor?
- I want you to join
The chocolate sailor dinghy crew!
Sell delicious chocolate sailors and reap a bountiful booty!
Just send in your application today
And set sail on the high seas of riches!
- I'll do it!
- You won't regret it, billy!
Just sign your name and mail it off
To receive your starter kit.
Say, "heave ho!" to bad bilge water, billy,
And let's shove off for some major booty!
Wow! It's already here!
Hee hee hee!
Wow!
Ahh.
Mmm!
Ha ha ha!
Chocolate, yum!
Oh, no! I've been a bad sailor.
I ate the whole dang dinghy, crew and all!
Now i'll never have major booty!
Aah!
What's this?
A message from the chocolate sailor?
- Hi, matey! Time for some fresh cargo!
Now, shove off, sailor!
- Aye-Aye, chocolate sailor guy!
Full speed ahead!
Whoa, it's here!
You won't be disappointed this time, chocolate sailor.
You'll see!
I'm gonna be the best dang sailor
In the whole dang army.
I'll sell gazillions!
Together, we'll make major booty,
'cause you're so bootylicious!
Ahoy, matey!
I'm a chocolate sailor!
And i come with my own dinghy!
So, you wanna buy some delicious chocolate candy?
- I never accept candy from strangers.
- But, mandy, it's me, billy!
- Exactly.
- Come on, mandy.
This dinghy is made of 100% pure chocolaty goodness!
And you just gotta try
One of these yummy chocolate sailors
All wrapped in colorful foil!
They're lots better without the foil.
- Did somebody say chocolate?
I love chocolate!
- Aye, matey! A shipload of chocolate!
Chocolate dinghies, chocolate sailors...
Chocolate dinghies.
- I'll take the whole navy!
- Uh, sorry, grim. I'm all out!
- But they're in your bag. I saw them.
- You are mistaken, my meat-Deprived friend.
Time to shove off. So long, mateys!
Whew, that was close.
They nearly got my last dinghy!
- Something smells fishy.
He never sold us a single chocolate.
And who is this chocolate sailor, anyway?
- I can't quite place him,
But he rings a bell.
- Well, what do you know?
Chocolate sailors!
- Mine!
Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
- Well, what do you know?
More chocolate sailors!
- Mine!
Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
Mine!
- Well, what do you know?
Still more chocolate sailors.
Oof! - Mine!
Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
Come to billy, my precious.
- What is it, sailor?
- Good news, sir.
Sales are way up
Thanks to our top salesman billy!
- The kid from endsville?
- That's right, sir.
He's into us for plenty!
In fact, we've already billed him
For more than 10,000 units of chocolate.
- 10,000 units?
That's enough for all of endsville!
Ha ha ha!
Think of it, man!
Right now, there must be thousands of shlubs
Who are falling under the spell of my enchanted chocolates!
Ha ha ha!
Soon, i will transform all of the chocolate eaters
In the world into chocolate sailors!
Say, what happened to your arm, sailor?
Have you been eating yourself?
- Oh, no, sir.
There was a... The... Uh... It were gulls, sir!
- Gulls? - Yes, sir.
Seems they took a liking to chocolate, sir.
- Hmm. That will be all, sailor.
- Looks like someone's been dipping
Into the chocolate again.
- Follow the wrappers, and we'll find our dip.
- Billy?
He must have eaten himself into a chocolate coma.
Just look at all these empty chocolate boxes.
- Billy, if you can hear us, just gurgle.
- There. He's fine.
Hey, wait a minute. Of course!
Now i remember.
The chocolate sailor!
He advertises in the back of man-Eating comics.
Billy, the little simpleton, must have answered his ad.
Ha ha ha!
Oh, that's not good.
- It looks like billy has somehow turned
Into solid chocolate.
- No way! Ooh!
Chocolate!
Yow!
Ow!
Ouch!
Aah!
- Billy, you're eating yourself.
- I can't help it.
I'm so yummy!
- Billy!
- It doesn't hurt, really.
You get used to it.
- That's what you get for answering an ad
From a supernatural comic book.
- You're just jealous 'cause you wanna eat me, grim!
- Why, you little...
- Grim, we've gotta help billy.
- He seems to be helping himself.
- Grim! - All right!
But we'll have to find the chocolate sailor.
Only he will have the antidote.
- Hey, there ain't no marshmallow in my cocoa!
- I'm looking for the chocolate sailor!
Did i say that? Heh heh!
- I love chocolate!
Huzzah!
- Ah, many's the man who went looking
For the chocolate sailor.
Few's them that return.
- Have you met the chocolate sailor?
- Aye, we've met.
Turned my leg into a chocolate truffle.
I ate it plumb off, by gobs.
- He must be very difficult to find.
- Nah. He's about two wharves over.
You can take my dinghy.
- Once you get past the shipping lanes,
Just follow the smell of chocolate.
You'll find him.
- We'd better hurry, grim.
Billy just ate his left foot.
- What flavor were she, boy?
- Chocolate!
Does anyone smell chocolate?
Thank you!
Aah!
Ouch! Hey! Ouch! Ouch! Hey! Help!
Help!
- Billy.
- Ahoy, there! Come about.
- Are you the chocolate sailor?
- Billy? Is that you?
- I like chocolate!
- What happened to him?
- That's why we're here, mr. Sailor man.
- Billy ate all your chocolate.
- One kid ate 10,000 units?
He ain't human!
- Not anymore, he isn't.
It turned him into solid chocolate.
He tasted so delicious,
He couldn't keep from eating himself.
Now all that's left is his big, chocolate head.
We need an antidote.
- It happens every time!
How can i have a proper crew when they always eat themselves?
Hoist them up, sailor.
Why should i give you the antidote?
Yow! My finger!
- Chocolate!
- Yow! Stop!
Get away! Don't eat me!
Make him stop!
All right, all right, i'll give you the antidote!
Now, billy, this is a very special assortment
Of enchanted chocolates.
You must choose only one.
But choose wisely, billy,
For only one contains the antidote.
Will it be caustic caramel creme,
Horrific hazelnut, mutating marshmallow,
Or antidote?
- Caustic caramel creme, horrific hazelnut,
Mutating marshmallow, or antidote?
Hmm.
Yah!
- Great gobs!
No one has ever eaten the whole dang assortment!
- Eh, start swabbin' the poop deck.
- You know, grim,
Sometimes i feel as though billy were right here with us.
- Eh, he's in a better place.
- I like chocolate!
- Come on, billy. Its time to go to the movies.
- No can do, mandy.
I got a loose tooth!
And when i get this baby out,
The tooth fairy's gonna fly down from his money tree in the sky
And give me a lot of cash for it!
- How many times do i have to tell you
That there is no tooth fairy?
- 6,522.
And i'm gonna buy me a jar of peanuts!
I can almost taste my butt.
- Top of the day to you, billy.
- Oh, hi, mr. Teetermeier.
- Got a loose tooth, eh?
- Yeah.
You still believe in the tooth fairy, right,
Mr. Teetermeier?
- Why, sure!
- Wow! You must be a multi-Millionaire!
- Oh, yeah, i'm rich, all right,
But i'd give it all up
To have a full set of shiny white teeth again.
Yep, i had bright, shiny teeth,
But that was a long...
Long time ago,
Back in the days of the wild west!
Ha ha!
- Was the tooth fairy a cowboy?
- Yep. - Does the tooth fairy wear a cowboy hat?
- Yep. - Does the tooth fairy wear cowboy boots?
- Yep. - Cowboy underwear?
- Yep.
Eeh!
Ahh... Oh.
Oh, thanks, sporg.
Uhh, just what the doctor ordered.
- Trying to do my part for the community.
- Say, maybe you could help billy, too.
- Yeah, sporg.
Maybe you could knock out that annoying tooth.
- Let's see what you got.
Yeah, i could do the job, teetermeier,
But it's gonna cost you.
- All right, let's see.
I'll pay you 4 nickels, 10 dimes,
6 quarters, and... A penny!
- Now, think of something real pretty.
- Like the booger pretzels i invented in home ec class?
They are pretty and delicious!
Ooh!
My tooth!
- Nice doing business with you, teetermeier.
- Eh, wait for me, partner!
Hee hee!
See ya in the funny papers.
- Actually, i'm scheduled to see you
Next week, mr. Teetermeier!
- I guess he's out cold.
- Ugh... Eh... Aah! My tooth!
My clothes!
Aah!
Who are you?
- It's us, billy.
Now, do you want us to help you get your tooth back or what?
- My tooth?
- Remember, billy? Outlaw sporg stole your tooth.
- And we're gonna get it back.
- But we're cowboys!
- Correction. We are cowboys.
You are the local town boob.
- Hee! I'm the local town boob?
- That's right. You're dumb as dirt, man.
- Come on, billy. Your tooth, remember?
- Ok, tooth fairy.
How much will you give me for billy's tooth?
- Hmm.
- I'll give you 4 nickels, 10 dimes, 6 quarters,
And a penny.
- Deal!
- Don't forget to brush!
- Stick it in your ear, tooth fairy!
- Heh heh heh!
Not my ear, my boy.
Ha ha!
At last! Yee-Haw!
- What is it, mr. Tooth fairy, sir?
- Look, rupert. Look at this here tooth.
- Holy molar!
Well, i'll be a cold sore on a hot day in july
Eatin' quicksand from a barrel in a dust storm!
It's the tooth you've been looking for,
Ain't it?
- That's right, rupert...
A 3-Rooted, bilateral, bicuspid sweet tooth.
- With its ivory count in the millions!
- And it's mine! All mine!
- You look slicker than a wagon tire
Covered in honey-Sweet molasses with...
- That's right, rupert.
Move over, santa claus and easter bunny,
'cause there's a new kid in town!
And with my perfect smile...
Kids will line up to see me...
The real, live tooth fairy.
I'm finally gonna be... A star!
- Give me the usual, bartender.
- Si, senor.
One old-Fashioned hot dog, straight up!
- Not so fast, sporg.
Hand over billy's tooth.
- I would if i could, but i can't,
So you lose, sister.
I sold it to some goon who thinks he's the tooth fairy.
- The tooth fairy?
- See, mandy? I told you the tooth fairy exists!
- Not for long, billy.
- Aah!
- Attention, little folks of all ages!
Step right up and get your picture tooken
With the root-Tootinest and bootinest,
Dog-Eared, pioneered tooth jockey ever
To walk the 7 seas.
Here today!
Yay!
- Now, let's see them pearly whites, kids!
Yay!
- Remember, kids, every day is tooth fairy day!
Yay!
- Bye, kids! See y'all tomorrow!
- Well, put a stick in me
And call me a corn dog with a bad habit.
You're a star!
- A star.
- Hold on there, hombre.
We got a tooth to pick with you,
Mr. So-Called tooth fairy.
- Whoa!
The real-Life,
Honest-To-Goodness tooth fairy himself!
Can i get your autograph?
- Always time for my fans.
What's your name there, stranger?
My tooth!
- All right, hand over billy's tooth.
- Well, just how do you know it's yours?
- Because it's a 3-Rooted, bilateral, bicuspid sweet tooth!
- With its ivory count in the millions!
- Give us the tooth now, or this is gonna get ugly.
- Who you callin' ugly?
I challenge you to a showdown.
- Ha ha ha!
- The gold star scepter!
Don't do it, mandy.
That thing is dynamite!
- But we have the scythe.
- The scythe ain't no match
For the tooth fairy's gold star scepter!
It has unspeakable destructive powers,
And in the wrong hands, well,
Oh, let's just say it weirds me out, that's all.
- Can it, grim. It's showdown time.
Come on.
- Gee, ha ha ha!
- What's so funny?
- Mandy's gonna kick the snot out of your pixie butt!
- We'll see about that.
- The scepter, mandy! Look out for the scepter!
- Stick a sock in it, grim.
- Oh!
Yeah! Do us all a favor!
- Draw.
You finished?
- Mandy! You're ok!
The scepter didn't work!
- Of course not, fellers.
I'm impervious to the scepter of the tooth fairy,
Because i don't believe in the tooth fairy.
- Hear that, tooth fairy?
You ain't nothin' but nothin!'
- Aw, i just don't get it, rupert.
My scepter never fails.
- Maybe it was a misfire.
Try it again on me, boss.
- Well, i got nothing to lose.
- Well, i'll be a barbecue bacon cheeseburger supreme
With two golden onion rings, 3 different kinds of cheeses,
Crisp lettuce, a fresh tomato, pickles, onions,
All on a sesame seed bun!
- Ha ha! It's working!
- Tooth fairy, indeed!
"oh, look at me. I'm the big, scary tooth fairy,
"and i'm gonna come get you
With my enchanted golden star scepter!"
Just a bunch of hooey!
- Ha ha ha!
- Well, maybe i still believe a teeny-Weeny bit.
- And now for that tooth.
- What are we gonna do now?
- Well, we could always open
A chain of fast-Food restaurants.
Ha ha ha!
- Here you go, billy.
- My tooth!
Hee hee hee!
- So, billy, you still believe in the tooth fairy?
- Bacon double cheeseburger!
- Here's your stupid tooth to sell
To your nonexistent tooth fairy.
- There is so a tooth fairy, and i'll prove it!
- I liked him better when he was knocked out.
- Mm-Hmm.
Ahh. Great.
My wad of cash!
Wait till mandy gets a load of my wad!
- Well, my work here is done. Hee hee!
Come on, rupert.
- Yeah, mr. Tooth fairy, sir?
- Wanna go get some pureed chili?
- Like an old, wet hen wants to lay a dozen eggs!
Heh heh!
- We got a tooth to pick with you.
- The real-Life tooth fairy!
I'm coming!
Coming!
Captioning made possible by turner entertainment group
Coming! Coming!
Ha ha ha!
Coming!
Ha ha ha!
Captioned by the national captioning institute www.Ncicap.Org...