- By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes.
- Honey, i'm home!
Whoo! What a day.
Even the flies were dropping like flies.
Mmm!
Dinner smells good!
Whatcha cookin', baby?
- Me favorite!
Oh, what did i ever do to deserve a wife as good as you?
- Oh, yeah, that's right.
Gosh, i love snuggling in front of the fireplace.
Baby, you remember our honeymoon at the dead sea?
- Ha!
I haven't lived down that nickname yet,
Have i, billy?
Billy?
I mean "baby!"
I mean... I mean... Wait!
This is not me beautiful house.
This is not me beautiful wife!
- Same as it ever was!
Same as it ever was.
- Stop saying that!
Man, i was having the nicest dream.
Oh, no!
Nice dream?
- What's the big deal?
I have nice dreams all the time.
- Billy, i'm the grim reaper.
I ain't supposed to have nice dreams.
Me dreams should be filled with an endless void
Of wailing darkness.
When i have good dreams,
A vortex opens in the back of me head
Bridging this world and the dark realm,
Thus allowing a menagerie of nightmares to slither on out!
- Oh, yeah!
I had the same problem yesterday
After i ate that burrito.
- Help me look around.
- For what?
- For the nightmare bugaboo i was just telling you about.
I want to make sure there aren't any running loose.
- Oh, ok.
No boogers in here.
- Well, i didn't find anything too unusual.
Except for this.
- Oh, ok, look!
I can explain.
- Wait a second.
Has that duck always been over there?
- What duck? - This duck right here.
- I don't see a duck.
- Billy, i know you're stupid,
But not blind.
This duck right here.
- Oh, wait!
This is a game where we make stuff up, right?
Ok!
Then i see a big, green eleflant...
Name herbert mchoover.
He plays the drums and listens to "freedom rock!"
- No, dummy!
A real duck, right here on the...
- Grim.
You made a butt burp.
- What? No!
It wasn't me!
It was the... -
- Ok, grim.
I'm gonna wait out in the hall
Until you and your butt
Can agree on a polite way to behave.
- I don't know what kind of backwater, low-Level nightmare
You are, but you're messing with the wrong dude!
I am the grim... -
- That's it!
Dang.
Where'd i put me... Ah!
Ok, duck,
Prepare for complete and total obliteration!
- Look, i have some important work to do now.
So not a peep.
Got it?
- That must be my son finally come to apologize.
- Mr. Hickey.
I have come for you!
- It's been 20 years, paul,
But you look exactly the same!
Aren't you gonna give your old dad a hug?
- Oh, well, see, i'm actually here...
- Just one hug, paul,
And my heart can rest easy.
- How 'bout i just give you a piece of hard candy?
You people like that stuff, right?
- Ah! Here we go!
- Oh.
- Oops. I'll get that.
- Uh... Ha ha.
That was the uh... The invisible duck.
Ha ha.
- I had the same problem yesterday
After i ate a burrito.
- You know what? This isn't working.
I'll come back another time.
- I love you, son!
- This stupid duck has totally thrown me off my game.
- What's wrong, mister?
You look so sad.
- It's nothing.
- You want my soda?
- No, thanks.
- No, really. You can have it.
- That's the nicest...
Wait! That isn't that nasty generic cola, is it?
- No, it's name brand.
- Oh, that's the nicest...
- No! It wasn't me, dagnab it!
- See? It was the ding-Dong duck!
- Look at me body!
I ain't got no guts, nothing!
How could i poot, huh?
I'm a skeleton!
- Look at me body!
Look at it! Look at it!
So, uh... What are you... In for?
- I beat the snot out of a guy...
For farting!
- Guard!
- Just the sound of it makes me so angry!
- Guard!
- Angry!
- Guard!
- All right, reaper, your bail is here.
- I came as soon as i got the call, yo.
- Oh, i knew i could count on you, irwin.
- Here you are, officer.
- Gee, thanks!
How much was in that piggy bank?
- $4.28.
- So, you like to be a jokester, do you, mr. Funny guy?
Mr. Comedian, eh?
- I don't understand!
- Well, the bail is $3,500.
- I was only trying to be helpful!
- Now, get out of my jail!
Out!
- Sorry, grim!
- Yeah!
Yeah, you'd better run!
I'd like to think i make a difference.
- That was wickety-Whack, yo!
Hey, a duck!
- Come on, dude!
What's up, my main man?
You've been awful quiddity-Quiet back there.
- This duck is kind of creeping me out, dad.
- What duck, dude?
- Yo. - Don't be buggin', dude.
- Yo! - Dude!
- Yo! - Enough!
Granmama does not want to hear
Any more back sass out of you.
- Word!
- Sorry, granmama.
- Huh? Did you just break wind
In front of your granmama?
- That wasn't me, yo.
It was the...
- Oh, baby!
Oh, that is just nasty!
- Dang! Please open up a window or something!
- Dude! - Baby, why you gotta be nasty?
- Oh, goodness!
Someone please open a window
And vent this nastiness out!
- Dude!
- It's not me, yo!
- Well, i think someone won't go to the baseball game
If they keep lying!
- I did it!
It was all me!
I popped a fluffy!
I played the tushie trumpet!
I made a ham blast!
Can i please go to the game?
- See, son.
It's all about accountability.
Now, we're not gonna have any more
Priddiddy-Problems, are we, son?
- Goodness, i hope not.
- Commemorative goatee!
Get your commemorative goatee!
- These seats are the bomb, dude!
- Hush, child!
They're about to start the ceremony.
- I'd like to thank all the fans for coming out today
To show their support for my goatee...
Since this is my goatee's last game
Before it's traded to atlanta... -
- I think it would be fitting
If we observed a moment of silence.
- It's that fat kid!
- Someone stop him!
He's mocking the goatee!
- It's not me!
- Uh, i think we better jittitty-Jet.
- Why does this stuff always happen to me, yo?
- I blame that hippity-Hop music!
- After which, the family was arrested,
Tom, i think it's safe to say
This gassy kid will forever be known as
The boy who ruined baseball.
- Oh, tooty mactootalot.
- Or that.
- Well, at least that crazy duck went away, yo.
- Yeah.
But i wonder who will his next victim be.
Hey, a duck!
What the heck just happened?
- At the rate this duck is getting people into trouble,
I predict this cell will be full
In about 4 hours!
Man, he's working fast!
- I'm not even on this stupid show anymore!
- You know, i'm beginning to wonder
If anybody can stop that demon duck.
- And he was like, "naa!"
And so, i was all like, "aah!"
- And then what?
- Obviously someone was raised in a barn.
A fart barn!
- Young lady!
Is this any way to behave?
- No. I suppose not.
Walking up and yelling at someone
While they're trying to work does seem kind of rude.
- Young lady, i do not tolerate
Such behavior in my library.
- Well, then, that's really your problem,
Not my problem, isn't it?
- I will not stand for this!
- There's an empty chair right there!
- Look, lady, could you have your meltdown somewhere else?
I've got a report due tomorrow on the history of corn,
And you're kind of distracting me.
- Mandy, i...
- Mandy?
- Mandy, i need to know if...
Is everything ok at home?
- It's fine, sir.
- And you're eating ok?
Not too many beans or broccoli?
- I eat fine, sir.
- Mandy, i'm not called principal goodvibes
Just because i had my name legally changed to it.
I can be your friend.
- But you have to let me know if there's anything wrong!
- Nope. Nothing, sir.
- Sperg is at it again.
- You there!
What do you think you're doing?
Young man, this is not how we empower
Other's emotional well-Being!
Sorry, mandy.
I have to take care of this.
Oh, and don't touch the p.A. System while i'm gone.
The microphone right there with the big red button,
Don't touch it.
- Knock yourself out.
- I though i was the only one around here
Allowed to cut the cheese.
- You think you've won?
- You think you've humiliated me,
Broken me, driven me crazy,
When every day of my life i've had to deal with...
Compared to that, you're just an insignificant pimple
On the butt of the world's smallest amoeba.
You have no power over me.
- And she was all like, "naa."
And i was all like, "nah!"
- Oh, look, mandy's home!
How was detention today?
- Only 74 more days to go.
- Man, that duck's been
Following you around for two weeks now...
Morning, noon, and night.
- Actually, he disappeared after the first day.
- Then that means...
- Oh, baby, that is just nasty!
- Labbie, timmy's fallen into the well again!
Go save him, labbie!
Save him!
- Hey, wait!
I think we've seen this movie before!
- No, duh!
- Yeah.
Don't we have anything else to watch?
- But if we turn it off,
We'll never know what happens to labbie!
- "oh, labbie, you're our hero.
Here, take this golden dog bone as a token of our gratitude."
- "woof, woof."
- Oh, labbie, you're our hero.
Here, take this golden dog bone as a token of our gratitude!
- Woof! Woof!
- Are you guys pa-Psychic?
- No, you pea brain!
We've watched this 60 times in a row.
- Oh!
It's over!
- Whoo-Who!
Yes!
Now what should we do?
- Let's watch it again!
- Save him! Run!
Run like the wind!
- I can't believe that timmy fell in the well again!
I mean, doesn't that kid get sick of
Falling into it over and over and over
And over and over and over and over
And over and over and over and over and over and over?
Oh, it's over! Let's watch it again!
- No! - No!
No more labbie!
Get your jackets, you little couch apes.
Underworld video.
A haven for underworld type characters like myself.
- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Let's get this one!
"the legend of the chupamacabra."
- What is this nonsense?
I can't believe i paid $6.00 for this!
- Shh! Shh! Shh! Quiet!
This is the best part!
- That's it! I'm out of here!
- This video is the biggest load of hooha i've ever seen.
Why do you insist we watch this stupid thing?
- Am i the only one who understands
The complexities of this ambitious
Cinematic masterpiece?
This movie isn't stupid!
You're stupid!
- Oh, billy!
Why you gotta be like that?
- Aah!
Now i can enjoy my movie in peace.
Hey! What happened?
Where'd the chupamabrabaguppaga go?
Whoa!
I didn't know this movie was a 3-D!
Hello!
My name's billy! What's yours?
- What the...
- Billy, what happened?
I don't know.
I fell asleep...
And had this crazy dream that i was naked at school.
And the chupacablahblah attacked me.
- Billy! Oh, my gosh! What's that?
- What's what? - Over there!
- I don't see... - On your back!
- On my hat? - Curse you, boy!
On your back! - What?
I don't see... What are you talkin' about?
- There it is! Kill it! Kill it!
- Let me handle this.
- I think it's trying to suck his brains out, man.
- Poor thing's gonna starve.
- Billy, where did you get that thing?
- That's the thing that came out of the tv last night.
- That's a chupacabra?
- I believe it's pronounced "chupamaflabblah."
She's my bestest friend!
- I call her daisy!
- Hmm.
You know, billy,
Chupacabras are blood-Sucking creatures.
This thing is cursed,
So be very, very careful.
- Uh, grim, what do you mean by cursed?
- I mean they only bring suffering.
- Well, i ain't suffering.
- Well, i am.
- I'm blind.
- Ha! Come on, daisy.
Let's go play outside.
Hey, irwin. What's that you got?
- Oh, it's my new weiner dog, yo.
His name is oscar. I got him yesterday.
- No way!
I got my dog yesterday, too!
Check it out. Its name is daisy.
- Ha ha ha ha!
Billy, that's your dog?
My dog is way better than yours.
- Your dog looks like some freaky,
Deflated anteater or something.
Last time i checked,
Dogs didn't look like that.
- Oh, yeah?
Yeah, my dog can do stuff that other dogs can't!
- Oh, yeah?
Well, my dog is so cool that... Huh?
- Uh, oscar?
- Aw!
That's just daisy showing her affection.
- Oh, billy!
- Yeah, irwin?
- I feel so lightheaded.
- See?
She likes you, too!
Come on, daisy.
- His dog's still stupid.
- Ruff!
- All right, daisy, i'm your new master.
And you have to obey my every command.
So... Stay!
Ok!
Cool.
Uh... Roll over.
Speak.
Beg.
Play dead.
- Billy, we need to talk.
- About what, grim?
- I think it's... Time...
You give back the chupacabra.
- But i love daisy!
She's my faithful canine companion.
- No, she's not, billy.
Daisy is the corporeal manifestation
Of the video images you saw the other night.
- Tee hee hee!
Mandy talk funny words.
- What i'm trying to say is
Daisy is a ghost that is cursed to live inside the videotape.
It comes out of the tv
To suck the life out of its victims.
That's how it feeds.
That's how it survives.
Now, we must return it back to the video
From whence it came.
- But why?
- The video is overdue.
And my perfect record is in jeopardy.
- And, billy,
You're obviously not ready for the responsibility
Of owning a pet.
Remember when milkshakes got stuck in a tree
3 months ago?
- Meow.
Playing with milkshakes is fun!
Oh, yeah!
I guess you're right.
I love having daisy around,
But i didn't know having a pet would be so hard.
Ok, grim.
Let's take her back.
I... I... I love you, daisy!
- I love you, too, billy!
- No!
- Don't worry, billy.
Some day you'll be ready to have a pet.
- And i'll love it forever and ever.
- Meow!
Meow!
- Quiet down!
Can't you see i'm mourning the loss
Of the only animal friend i'll ever have?
- Meow.
- Hello?
Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
No, no. Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
No, man, i'm seeing her later tonight.
What? Speak up, i can't hear you.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
No, way! He didn't.
- Hey, man, i'm gonna have to call you back
From a different theater.
Someone is being really rude in here!
Captioning made possible by turner entertainment group
Captioned by the national captioning institute www.Ncicap.Org...