[captioning made possible by
█
Push the button, pull the chain,
Here comes the chocolate choo choo train.
Yes!
Yes.
Yes!
Fred fredburger?
Yes?
Here.
You've been summoned for jury duty.
Yes!
Have you ever been to jury duty before?
This is my very first one.
Gosh, i love paperwork.
Especially the part where i get to write my name.
F-R-E-D.
F-R-E-D-B-U-R-G-E... R.
Fred fredburger, yes!
Jurors, please enter the courtroom.
Today's trial is a custody battle.
They get ugly.
Really ugly.
Ugly like that guy.
So i'll need you to be objective.
Base your decisions on the facts.
Listen to all the evidence presented in...
Fred fredburger fred fredburger
You... Going down.
All rise for the honorable judge roy spleen.
Let's get this party started.
Do you, billy, take mandy to be your lawfully wedded wife?
I do!
And do you, mandy, take billy...
Not a wedding?
Oh, well.
You're the judge.
What do you mean i'm the judge?
What are we supposed to be doing?
We have to listen.
To music?
Oh, i like music.
No, to them... I like... I like music that
♪ Fa la la la la lallla la
But sometimes i like... I like
Do i need to remind the jury that they are supposed to stay
Quiet?
Yes.
Be quiet!
Ok, let's see.
If both plaintiffs could please step forward.
You go first.
Your royal heinieness, it all began 5 long hours ago.
Hey!
Hey, whose house is that?
Heh?
Whose house was that?
It's my house.
Oh, it's a nice house.
Ehhh... Thanks.
As i was saying, it was 5 long hours ago.
Ok, peanut brain.
It's my turn.
Destroying stuff makes me
Feel so alive.
I second that emotion.
Ditto.
Oh, my stars and garters.
What happened in here?
Grim conjured this... Hey, hey, who's that lady?
That's my mama.
Does your mama make cookies?
Sometimes.
Yes!
Sometimes my mom makes me cookies with chocolate chips,
And sometimes she makes me peanut butter bars, and
Sometimes she doesn't bake me anything.
Chocolate chip is my favorite.
Yes.
Ooooook.
Let's start back at the part where mandy says...
I second that emotion.
Ditto.
Oh, my stars and garters.
What happened in here?
Grim conjured us this cool psychic megaphone.
Watch.
Now, that's what i call
A welcome wagon.
Hey, hey, who's that man?
That's my dad.
Oh, you look like him.
He better look like me.
'cause if he looked like you, he'd be pretty!
Harold, your son just destroyed our house!
Meow.
Hang in there, baby!
Ha ha ha.
How can you be so nonchalant about this?
Honey, remember what i promised you would happen
Someday?
You got the surgery?
Even better.
I got transferred at work!
We're finally leaving this garbage dump.
Transferred?
Aren't you excited?
We get to move to a new town and leave behind everything that has
Meaning to you.
I don't want to leave.
I just finished marking my territory.
Head's up, boys.
See, your mom's got the right attitude.
That's my girl!
Looks like your mom's ready to go.
You'd better say your good-Byes.
Hey, hey, are you gonna cry?
Shut up!
Good-Bye, mr. Doorknob.
You've let me in and out through good times and bad.
Good-Bye, mr. Inch and 1/4
Molding.
You framed the room ever so nicely.
Good-Bye, mr. Electrical outlet.
You've supplied precious power when i needed it most.
Billy, no!
Trust me.
You don't want to do that.
And most of all, good-Bye my dear, sweet mandy.
I'll miss your hands-On approach to life.
Lick me, and i'll rip your lips off.
Come on, grim.
Let's get going.
Not so fast, gimpy.
Who said you get grim?
He's my best friend, and the only god's relation i have in
This horrible time in my life!
I don't get a say in this?
No!
Now let's go.
He's mine.
No, he's mine.
Mine. Mine.
Stop it!
Just stop it.
You're behaving like spoiled children.
I suggest you behave like spoiled adults and settle this
In court.
Fine.
I'll see you in court.
Wrong court, dummy.
And that is how i ended up in this hideous place surrounded by
Disgusting, nightmarish monsters.
No offense.
Uh, excuse me?
Excuse me?
Tell me again why i'm up in this cage?
Silence!
This whole charade is pointless.
Grim should belong to me.
Shut your dirty pie hole!
He should belong to me!
Both of you shut your dirty pie holes!
You will follow the rules of the underworld court, or so help me,
I will make you sit in the chocolate pudding chair.
The stains will never come out of your clothes!
Got it?
Hey, i like the hammer thingie.
When do we get hammer thingies?
We don't.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Looking at the precedent set... Judge?
Hey, judge?
Yes, when do we get hammer thingies, because i could maybe
Make some nice stuff like a table, or some chairs, or...
This is called a gavel.
And no, you don't get one.
Then can i borrow yours for a minute?
Oh, thank you.
Give me that, and sit back down.
But i wasn't finished.
Ok, let's call our first wit...
Almost done.
Here you go.
Ow!
My life is in the hands of this guy?
It's like i'm in some bad cartoon.
Please call your first witness.
I would like to call to the stand irwin.
Hey, this isn't my shower, yo.
Where am i?
Aah!
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and
Nothing but the truth?
Please don't eat me!
Psst.
Irwin.
Billy, i'm wet and naked, and there are monsters everywhere.
Don't worry.
They won't hurt you...
Unless they decide to hurt you.
Irwin, if you would, please tell the court in your own prewritten
Words why i, billy, not mandy, am the best person to get
Custody of said grim.
Boy.
I'm cold, yo.
Can i have some pants, please?
Read it!
"i believe that billy is the best person in all the universe
To take care of grim...
To... To keep him fed and clothed and... And...
And... Without grim, billy would wither, for he would have no one
To unleash his deep reservoir of love upon."
Reservoir of love?
Sick.
I want to go home!
Please?
Not until you read the part about my warehouse of
Compassion.
Objection.
He's leading the witness.
I'm not leading him.
I'm just trying to make him say exactly what i want him to say.
Irwin, tell the court what you really think.
I don't know... Irwin!
Irwin!
What do you want from me?
I want the truth!
You want the truth?
Judge?
Yes, judge, judge, uh, judge?
I have to go pee pee.
I have to go pee pee real bad.
Can it wait?
Apparently not.
I hereby sentence all of you to take a pee break.
But come back or else.
♪ Fred fredburger
I feel much better now.
Yes, thank you.
Let the custody trial continue.
Why am i in this cage, yo?
Silence!
Judge, if i could have a moment with billy.
What you want, huh?
Billy, in light of our history together, i'm going to
Offer you a settlement deal.
As you can see, the terms are fair and equitable.
You give me grim, and i give you this.
Give me a banana!
Hmm, grim or monkey heads.
Grim or monkey heads!
Give me a banana!
On the one hand, i get the power of the underworld.
On the other hand, i get monkey heads.
Give me a banana! Give me a banana!
No, mandy.
I will not be distracted by your offerings of tasty snacks.
All right, billy, but when you're crying yourself to sleep
At night without either grim or a cluster of monkey heads to
Keep you comfortable, just i offered you a way
Out.
I call to the stand jeff the spider.
Hi, everyone.
Would you please tell the court your relationship with
Billy.
He's my dad.
Ewwww!
Billy only hatched the egg, people.
That's all.
Oh.
And how would you rate billy as a caregiver?
Uh, pretty good, i guess...
Except that he's never remembered my birthday, or paid
Child support.
In fact, he usually just jabs me with a big stick.
Ow!
I'll jab you good, you filthy bug!
Why don't you love me, dad?
I'll be anything you want me to be!
I want you to be dead.
No further questions.
'lil pork chop, how long were you billy's pet?
11 minutes.
And what did he do to you in those 11 minutes?
I don't want to talk about it!
I still wake up every night screaming... Screaming...
Screaming.
No further questions.
I'd like to call the court's attention to exhibit a.
A hat that belonged to another one wiggy jiggy
Jed, that is until billy destroyed him.
I had a good reason!
He bored me.
And what will happen when grim bores you?
Will you destroy him, too?
Hey, can i try on that hat?
I think it's important.
I think it's important that i try on the hat because...
What is wrong with you?
Judge?
No; shut up. Judge?
Shut up! Judge?
I order you to shut up!
Judge?
Why won't you shut up?
Judge?
Yes.
So, mandy, you think you can make me look bad?
Well, guess what, mr. And missy miss, i don't need you to make
Me look bad.
I can do that all on my own.
And now you force me to play dirty.
I'm a dirty boy.
I'm a dirty... I'm a dirty boy!
Billy, you've just evolved a notch up the idiot ladder.
Such biting comments, mandy.
But now they'll bite you... In the butt.
Ha!
I call to the stand mandy's mom and dad.
It's not that we don't love mandy...
We love her very much.
It's just that we're...
Kind of scared of her.
I'm usually too afraid to even make eye contact.
When she was born, wolves came to try and raise her as one
Of their own.
Sometimes i wonder if we were right to stop them.
Call your next witness.
She walks around being all gross and ugly and everything
And doesn't even apologize for it!
She makes fun of the way i walk.
I mean, look at me!
I'm a stinking dog!
What harsh words would you
Use to describe mandy?
She's uppity.
Cruel.
Unforgiving.
Cynical.
Whack.
Misanthropic.
Grouchy.
Stinky.
Bungle-Ridden.
Cranky.
Scooby dooby pee pee.
Caca, poo poo, wee wee.
Who let this baby up here?
Well, mandy, i'm assuming my relentless character
Assassination has made you decide to give up, right?
Right, right?
Right, right, right, right?
Right?
Yow!
Help me!
Somebody help me!
No fighting in this courtroom.
Psst!
What?
What do you want from me?
I'm really hungry.
What do you want me to do about it?
Go get me some nachos.
No!
Please?
Get them yourself.
Where are they?
How the heck should i know?
I'm hungry.
Judge, yes?
Where are the nachos?
There aren't any nachos.
Well, then, where are the hot dogs?
There are no hot dogs.
Pizza?
No!
Tacos?
I like tacos.
Don't encourage him.
Why not?
The trial is an absolute joke anyway.
It's obvious grim should go to billy.
Oh, please.
Are you infected with the bonkers?
Mandy is the only sensible decision.
Billy! Mandy!
Billy!
Mandy!
I want to be the keeper of the reaper
His skinny white bones are mine to own
To do with as i see fit give him to me
It should be me who's the keeper of the reaper
Grim's not a toy for an idiot boy
Who can't even tie his shoes if billy wins
Then we all surely lose ♪ ♪ Do i get a say
In the the keeper of the reaper?
I'll make you all pay for the keeper of the reaper
All my rage is bottled up in this cage
Held back by these iron bars i'll never get rid
Of the mental scars ♪ ♪ I don't care
Who's the keeper of the reaper i'm losing my hair
Over keeper of the reaper a mountain of stress
Is crushing my chest i'm going blind in one eye
Mmm!
Don't worry.
I found some nachos.
Yes.
Ow!
♪ Time to make you ill
Old school style grim is the corner
In my square ♪ ♪ Grim's the chocolate
In my eclair ♪ ♪ Grim is the freshener
In my air ♪ ♪ Grim's the conditioner
In my hair ♪ ♪ Grim's the picnic
In my bear ♪ ♪ Grim is the cushion
In my chair ♪ ♪ Grim is the renaissance
In my fair ♪ ♪ Grim is the anger
In my stare ♪ ♪ Grim is the stain
In my underwear ♪ ♪ Somehow i knew
You were gonna go there ♪ ♪ We all need
The keeper of the reaper i want to see
The keeper of the reaper ♪ All this singing
Is driving me nuts!
At my guts ♪ ♪ That would be
A real good pass ♪ ♪ I totally hate
That we have to debate ♪ ♪ They're wondering
If it's me or you ♪ ♪ It's obvious
To everyone here it's obvious
To everyone that... ♪ I have to make poo poo!
What?
I, uh... I have to go make a poo poo.
Yeah, ok, sure.
Go ahead.
And feel free to take as much time as you need.
Yes.
Ok, quick!
Let's wrap this up before he gets back.
Closing arguments.
You, go!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, billy is a doofus.
Just look at him.
He'll abuse grim.
Abuse him in all the wrong ways.
It's true.
But give grim to me, and i'll abuse him in all the right ways.
Oop!
I'll use his power to crush all... Next!
You, go!
I want grim, and i should get
Whatever i want.
And if i don't, i'll give you each a big punch in the eye!
Fred fredburger fred... Fred... Burger
Fred fredburger... ♪ He'll be back any second,
People.
How many of you vote for billy?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Ok, and how many vote for mandy?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6!
Good.
It looks like we have a... A tie.
Oh.
Oh, that's just dandy because that guy is now our tie breaker.
Judge, the nachos made my poo poo really stinky.
Get over here!
Now, listen to me.
I need you to... Don't touch that!
I need you to think about everything you've heard today
And tell me who should get grim?
Billy or mandy?
Yes.
Yes to billy or yes to mandy?
Yes.
Yes? Yes.
Yes, i see.
You're saying grim shouldn't be separated from either billy or
Mandy because that would destroy their friendship.
Yes.
And friendship is our most personal treasure.
Even more personal that our
Toothbrush.
Yes.
[sniffling, crying] fred fredburger, your words
Have moved my crusty heart.
Therefore, i hereby declare billy's family be placed under
House arrest and never be allowed to move.
Court adjourned!
I love my life.
See, everything worked out
For the best.
Come on, grim.
Let's go get some food.
Right behind you.
Hang on, guys.
I'll join you.
On second thought, i think i'll just hang here.
Will you guys bring me something back?
Maybe.
If we remember.
Ok, we'll be right here!
Later.
I love sappy endings.
Yes.
[captioned by the national captioning institute
How many times do i have to tell you this is my house!
Yes.