Ha ha ha ha ha!
Things are not always as they seem.
So, how was work today, honey bunch?
Great!
They let me test drive the new super fast sports car today.
So, billy, have you decided what you want to be when you grow up?
Well, ever since i could remember, there's been someone
In my life whom i've idolized.
A man who's not afraid of his feelings, and the funny noises
And smells that come out of his butt.
A tall, bald man, who has a really cool job.
A man who wears a suave black robe and carries a magic scythe
And has no skin or gooey organs, and flames shoot out of his eyes
When he gets really angry.
Hey!
That's me.
He's talking about that monster he and mandy play with
All the time.
The grim reaper.
I knew that.
Billy!
Why on earth would you want to grow up to be like that
Abomination?
Because grim's my bestest friend and the coolest guy in
The universe and there's nothing that'll ever come between us.
So, you want to grow up to be like me, hey?
I don't know whether to be flattered or terrified.
Selection is the key to any
Successful reaping.
Got that?
Now, let's see who we've got to pick from.
Nope, no, too healthy, too smart, heck no, too suave... Wait!
Who's this now?
There's something strangely familiar about this one, i can't
Quite put my finger on it, but she reminds me of somebody.
Yes!
I think i've found our first victim.
What do you think, billy?
Ahh!
She's perfect.
All right, billy.
Get ready to witness some serious reaping.
Billy? 'scuse me.
Yeah?
Are your legs tired?
No, not really, i took the bus here.
Umm, well, if your legs were tired, then it's because you've
Been running through my mind all day, mm-Hmm.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
Would you like to be my girlfriend?
Umm... Ok.
Really?
Billy!
What are you doing?
Do not consort with the reapee.
Grim, i want you to meet my new girlfriend, uhh...
Girl.
Hello there, big boy.
I'm blandy.
Nice to meet you.
All right, that's enough, you ain't gotta drool all over
Her, grim.
I saw her first, you know, she's mine.
What are you talking about?
I saw that look you gave her.
What look?
There, that one, you're doing it now!
Billy, i have no idea what you're talking about.
Just back off, mister i like to steal billy's girlfriend guy.
You're crazy, man.
That's right, crazy.
Crazy in love.
With grim.
Your name's grim?
Isn't blandy the most beautiful girl you've ever seen?
Her hair is like... Wow.
And her eyes are like... Whoa.
And her lips are like, ga... Gow, how you like me now?
I can't believe she gave me her number.
And her left sock to remember her by.
Ahh.
Tastes just like blandy.
Uhh, how nauseating.
Well, billy, looks to me like you've been twitterpated.
Twitterpated?
Uh... Well, mom said i should have more fiber in my diet.
Not constipated, you boob, twitterpated.
Nearly everyone gets twitterpated in the spring, man.
You've been smitten by a member of the opposite sex.
Girls at your age start to develop, uh, a taste for human
Flesh, so your life is pretty much over.
You do know, billy, that's not blandy's sock.
Ahh.
Before today, i used to think that tube socks smelled
Like feet.
Now, they just smell like love.
What's this dork face talking about?
Apparently he's fallen in love, but this time, with
A girl.
With a girl?
All right, billy!
Dear, dear, billy's fallen in love with a girl!
If she's human, you owe me 5 bucks.
I don't buy it.
When has billy ever had anything in common with a human,
Let alone a girl?
So who's this pathetic, lonely, desperate, desperate, desperate,
Desperate, desperate, desperate creature?
Her name's... Uh... Her name is blandy.
You like her, don't you!
Well you can't have her, she's mine, mine, mine, mine,
Mine, mine!
I never want to speak to you again.
Grim, can you give me a ride to the mall?
I gots to go meet blandy.
We've been walking around for hours, billy.
Where is this blandy chick?
She told me to meet her at the mall when i called her.
But where could she be?
She wouldn't stand me up, right?
Right?
I just can't go on without her.
I can't, i tell you... Oh, there she is.
Hi, blandy.
You remember grim?
How could i ever forget?
Unfortunately, grim can't stay.
He's just got tons of things to do.
What are you talking about, billy?
I don't have... So, blandy, i was just
Thinking, maybe it's time we got a little more serious.
And since you are my future
1, don't ever look at anyone else.
2, don't ever think about anyone else.
3, don't ever talk to anyone else, and 4, see rules 1, 2,
And 3.
Uh, yeah, about that.
You see, billy, when i first agreed to be your girlfriend,
I only said that so that you would worship the very ground
I walk on.
And then i get to rip your heart to shreds later.
That's how relationships work.
I thought you understood.
I've waited my whole life to meet a very special boy,
A boy who's not afraid of his feelings and the funny noises
And smells that sometimes accompany his butt.
A tall, bald boy, who works all day and night and wears a suave
Black robe and carries a magic scythe and has no skin or
Organs, and flames shoot out of his eyes whenever he gets
Really angry.
That's me!
I was talkin' about grim.
Grim...
Oh, it must be me lucky day, there's a cockroach and a thumb
In my hot dog.
Hey, those things don't grow on trees, you know.
I knew you were trying to steal blandy away from me.
What the heck are you talking about, billy?
Don't pretend like you don't know anything.
You've been plotting to usurp my girl this whole episode.
I'm old enough to be her grandfather's grandfather's
Grandfather.
Plus, i find her extremely repulsive.
I get sick to the stomach just looking at her.
Go ahead, grim, tell billy about us.
What are you talking about, girl?
There is no us.
Oh, no, now you've done it,
Child.
Aah!
Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!
Blandy, blandy!
Thank goodness you're here.
You've got to tell billy there's nothing between us.
Heh heh heh.
Ha ha ha ha.
Heh heh heh.
Ha ha ha ha.
Uh, where'd you get that book?
Oh, i found it while i was going through grim's personal
Belongings.
Funny pictures make harold happy.
Hey.
There's a hideous creature looking thing in here named
Blandy, just like billy's girlfriend.
Oh, no.
We've gotta get to the mall as fast as we can.
We've looked for billy for hours.
He's nowhere to be found.
We're too late.
We failed him, mandy.
Failed.
Oh, there he is.
We've got to tell billy what we found out about blandy.
I hear you loud and clear.
Let me handle this.
Billy!
I have something very, very, important to tell you.
It's crucial that you listen to me, ok?
Where'd you put the remote control to the tv?
I can't find it anywhere.
In... The... Bathroom.
All right, thanks, billy.
Mandy, what are you doing?
This doesn't involve you.
Mandy, mandy!
You've got to talk some sense to that boy, he thinks something's
Going on between me and blandy.
Tell him it's untrue.
You lie!
You dirty liar.
No, billy, grim's right.
Blandy has played both of you against each other.
I found this in grim's monster manual.
She's really a doppelganger, a shape-Shifting monster from
The nether realm that takes on different forms in order to sew
Misery and dissension.
Blandy, say it isn't so, please?
Uh, it isn't so.
Tell him, or else.
All right, it's true.
You found me out.
Everything you've heard about me is true.
You happy now?
B-B-Blandy, is that you?
Yes, billy.
You see, when i arrived in this dimension, my initial plan was
To create as much jealousy and turmoil as possible.
But what i didn't plan on was falling in love.
I don't care about that, blandy, i still love you.
I don't mean you, i meant grim.
I'll kill you!
All right, it's about time you got to steppin'.
And don't ever let me catch you in this dimension ever again.
Now vamos before i get really angry.
Wait, blandy, don't go!
Please, blandy!
I swear, one day i will find you again, blandy, and we'll be
Together forever.
Do you, billy, take blandy, this hideous disgusting
Creature, as your lawfully wedded wife?
Oh, gross.
I do.
And do you, blandy, take billy as your husband?
Billy?
I thought i was marrying grim.
I'll kill you!
Remember, kids, love only leads to pain.
Oh, they've got a lot of nerve, man, calling that place
A convenience store.
Rather inconvenient, i'd say.
Ah, come on.
They sell these cool light show toys.
Just press and watch.
Oh, you know what i'm talking about, mandy.
Those convenience store ceiling fans, always trying to steal
Me scythe.
And then there's the microwave.
Still broken.
I think it's for you, grim.
It's plasmo!
All right, plas, whatcha got?
Gotta go to work, eh, grim?
Yeah, well, sort of.
2 points.
Sort of?
Why?
Well, most of my calls to reap have been false alarms.
False alarms?
You mean like the time i saw myself in the mirror and thought
I had an evil clone?
Aah!
Even worse.
And take that stupid thing off your face.
So, why all the false alarms?
The blamin' health and fitness industry, that's why.
You see, your species finally figured out that good health
Habits can actually add bonus years to your life.
Bonus years?
Hey, you're not allowed in here.
I'm staying.
Ugh, all right.
But don't touch anything.
Ok, move it along.
We get false alarms because our antiquated underworld system
Can't keep up with who's added bonus years and who hasn't.
And i hate false alarms.
They're so false.
And alarming.
How poetic.
Look what i found.
Ha ha ha.
Is that the guy you're gonna reap, grim?
That's right, they call him mighty moe, and this is his gym
For the elderly.
And they're all adding bonus years with mighty moe's help.
Wow!
It's like a retirement home for hamsters, except with tv's.
So, is that mighty moe?
Nah, that's mighty joe.
He was last week's false alarm.
This is moe.
Hey, where's eeny and meeny, mighty moe?
Ha ha ha.
All right, down to business.
Billy, be a sport and turn off that treadmill so i can talk
To moe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yeah!
Ow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Ow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Ow.
Why do you hang out with him, mandy?
Yeah!
Come on, turn it off already.
Ok, grim, i want my bonus years.
Watch this display of ultimate fitness.
Yeah, all right.
The underworld proudly presents you with the silver anniversary
Plaque, granting you bonus years for good health habits.
Again.
We wish you many years of happy blah, blah, blah.
Come on, mandy.
Well, that was super uninteresting.
Oh, sweet matilda.
Heh heh heh heh.
Run, run, run, run to your momma's bony ribcage, reaper,
'cause you lose again.
Eh, a few bonus years and they get attitude.
Because if i keep adding bonus years with good health
Habits, i'm gonna live forever.
Ha ha ha ha!
Live... Forever?
No.
How many times do i gotta tell you?
You can't live forever by adding bonus years with good health.
Well, i say you can live forever by adding bonus years
For good health.
And i can prove it here in my new soon to be delivered book
Called "you can live forever by adding bonus years with good
Health."
That's right, finally a guidebook to getting your bonus
Years.
In it, you'll discover exactly how much bonus time each act of
Good health gets you.
For example, eating this banana gets you 12 minutes.
This spear of broccoli, 12 minutes.
This curl, also 12 minutes.
Just about everything gives you 12 minutes, so buy moe's book
And start living forever.
Coming soon to your local book shop in this 18 wheel truck
Driven by a guy named mack.
All right, so you figured out how to live forever.
But i'll tell you right now, it's overrated.
Come on, spinner.
Spinner, boy.
Spinner, no!
Don't make me come in there after you.
All right, you asked for it, mister.
Spinner?
Hello?
I can hear you.
Forever, huh?
Yeah, moe found the loophole in the system with all this good
Health stuff.
So what are you gonna do about it?
Have a drink of water and forget about it.
But... No but's, mandy, you know
I don't like but's.
Well, we agree on something.
If moe's book makes it public, everyone will find the loophole
In the system and live forever, too.
Uh, that water tastes like zombie sweat.
You've tasted zombie sweat?
Yeah.
In college.
It was a hot day.
But that water's just plain unhealthy, it could kill
Someone.
That gives me an idea to beat mighty moe.
Well, how you gonna do that? Easy.
With junk food.
If good health habits can add years, then bad ones can take
Them away.
And it doesn't get any badder than this giant cheesy puff.
How am i gonna get a health freak like moe to eat this?
As colonel major cheese puff.
Ahh.
Ok, here he comes, grim.
That's colonel to you, mandy.
Excuse me.
You wanna buy a major cheese puff?
You got spicy, crunch center?
Yeah, i'm pretty spicy.
Nah, i mean the puff.
Oh, you mean this.
Mm, i haven't had one of these since i was in my 60's
When i lived in scotland.
Now, uh, we discuss a price.
Uh, how about 50 bucks?
Deal.
Here, take it.
Uh, pardon me, friend, but i'll give you $250 cash
For that cheesy puff.
Ok.
Heh heh heh, money always wins over scotland, hee hee.
No, not even money from the beauty heavens can fill the void
Where spinner once lived.
Who could that be in the
Middle of my lemon salt scrub?
Coming.
All right, grim, you're up.
No, you'll laugh at me.
Have you ever seen me laugh?
Well, no.
But maybe this will be the first time ever.
I remember my first time, it was horrible.
Well, at least she didn't laugh.
Ah, ha ha ha ha.
Good afternoon, i'm... You know what mighty moe did
To the last college student trying to raise money to travel
Abroad?
How'd you know i was gonna say that?
Well i introduced her to my grandson, chad.
Man, oh, the light.
Chad loves to travel abroad.
My name's kevin.
Oh, this guy's off his chair, man.
I've never traveled abroad.
Now that's just weird.
Speaking of weird, billy, what happened to spinner?
Eh, he just ain't worth the pain.
Well, you two have fun abroad.
Eh, i w... That's it.
Eeh.
From now on, we do this my way.
Gah... Yeah.
Here, you need this more than anyone i've ever met.
And that's a lot of people.
Hey, these things can kill you.
Hey, where are you going?
Moe's over there.
If i can't stop mighty moe, at least i can stop his books,
And that truck load is over here.
And there is the truck driver.
The name's mack.
That's right, i can change my size 'cause i'm supernatural.
Is it just me, or is grim getting lamer?
Wait, billy.
I just noticed grim is dangerously close to those
Telephone wires.
Oh, my gosh, you're dangerously close to those
Telephone wires.
You needn't worry about my imminent electrocution.
I needn't worry about your imminent electrocution?
This isn't the truck load of books you're looking for.
Actually, i own this truck.
You'd much rather be home watching tv.
Tv...
Can i have snacks and some friends over?
The answer is yes, but you gotta take out the trash first.
Ohh, i always gotta take out the trash.
Oh, they grow up so fast.
All right, so you got rid of the trucker.
What are you gonna do with the truckload of mighty moe's live
Forever books?
Oh, i got just the place to get rid of them.
Come on, hop in the truck, kids.
Where we goin'?
Some place moe will never find them.
Hey, wait!
Come back with mighty moe's books!
I haven't signed them yet!
Jump!
Well, so much for living forever by adding bonus years with good
Health.
> yeah, but nobody can take the place of spinner.
I just hope she's happy, wherever she is.
And what's your name?
Ha ha, i'm little hottie.
Ah, here you go, hottie.
Wow, cool.
Oh, now i'll never live forever by adding bonus years with good
Health.
Nearly everyone gets twitterpated in the spring, man.
For example, you'll be walking along, minding your own
Business, you're looking neither to the left, nor to the right.
And all of a sudden, you run smack into a pretty face.
You begin to get weak in the knees, your head's in a whirl,
And before you know it, you're walking on air.
You're knocked for a loop, and you completely lose your head,
And that ain't all.
It can happen to anybody.
It could happen to you.
And you.
And... Eh, eh, not you.
Ohh.
[captioned by the national captioning institute