Quick, jump into the tv while they're not looking.
30 more seconds of warm-Up and don't get sloppy!
You get sloppy, and next thing you know, your wife wants to go
To counseling and talk about feelings.
Coach, our notes.
All right, hit the bench.
The rest of you, give me 10 laps.
And don't get sloppy.
Hey, irwin, how come those three nerds never have to do
Any of this physical stuff?
Because they have doctor's notes, yo.
Are they sick?
No, they're just meganerds.
P.E. And nerds don't mix.
It isn't good for them, yo.
It isn't good for us either.
P.E. Makes my heart beat all fast.
It makes it hard for me to
Breathe.
It makes you all stinky.
And it makes pud'n barf up in his mouth.
Ugh!
We gots to find out the nerds' secret for avoiding
P.E. Before it...
Kills us.
Billy... Don't get sloppy!
Viper, i totally disagree with your assessment.
A level-60 warlock geared for stamina and shadow damage...
Pardon us, but would you mind if we join you?
Ahem!
Who put you up to this?
Was it the heathers?
No. We just wanted to sit with you.
Well, you cannot!
This table is reserved for members of an exclusive club
Who... No, wait!
Come back.
To sit with us, you must first recite the pass code.
No, wait!
Come back.
You can sit with us if you give us your pudding cup.
Wait!
Come back.
We are so lonely.
So what topics should we discuss?
Science fiction?
Science fantasy?
Role-Playing games?
Physics?
Actually, we need to ask you something.
Something about p.E.
Aah!
Oh, great.
Now you have upset king cobra.
Aah!
Uhh-Uhh!
Hurry up and get him the pudding!
Mm! Mm!
Mm!
So, you wish to know our secret of avoidance, do you?
More than anything!
And are there others who feel the same?
Uh-Huh!
Good!
We shall spread the word.
"today after school, a clandestine meeting to plot the
Final downfall of physical education."
Welcome, fellow conspirators, to the lair of the secret snake club.
Yes. Question?
How come we can't sit down?
My grandmother doesn't like anyone on her furniture.
Now, before we reveal our dark secret...
You must decide.
If you eat the blue cupcake, the story ends.
You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to
Believe.
You eat the red cupcake, you stay in wonderland, and i'll
Show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Are there any chocolate cupcakes?
What happens if i eat the chocolate cupcake?
Chocolate gives me diarrhea, yo.
I don't want any diarrhea!
Ooh! Then can i have your diarrhea?
No one is getting diarrhea.
The cupcakes are a metaphor!
You will now recite the secret snake club oath.
Ooh!
"by the ember light of my vorpal blade..."
By the ember light of my vorpal blade...
"by graptar's hammer..."
By graptar's hammer...
"by the shining dirk of cromulon..."
By the shining dirk of cromulon...
Hey, i thought we agreed to cut out that part.
Hey, i thought we agreed to cut out that part?
I am not having this argument with you again, viper.
The dirk was clearly
Destroyed in episode 26-B of "star voyage."
That was an alternate universe, duh, and you know it.
Shut up!
You shut up!
No, you shut up.
Shut up! Shut up, shut up.
Shut up, shut up! No, you shut up.
Shut up, shut up.
I said, shut up.
I said, shut up!
Ooh, you shut up.
You shut up!
All of you, shut up!
This oath is over.
So, are we in the club now?
Yes!
Yeah!
No more p.E.!
As members, you will now be assigned your...
Secret names.
Now, let's see.
You shall be constrictor.
You are corn snake.
Copperhead.
The adder.
Ooh, ooh.
I want to be golden retriever.
If this were the secret dog club, you could be, but it is
The secret snake club.
Therefore... Chihuahua man!
I want to be chihuahua man!
No, you see, again, this is...
Purple giraffe!
No!
I still think you're wrong about the dirk.
Let it go, viper!
Just let it go!
Purple giraffe.
Lightning bolt.
Lightning bolt!
I'm not going to duel you over this.
Lightning bolt!
Ok, fine.
If that is how you want it, i cast fireball!
Lightning bolt!
Fireball!
Lightning bolt!
These guys are total nerds!
No more dork talk!
You nerds better tell me how to get out of p.E. Right now!
Fried cheese sticks.
Everyone needs fried cheese sticks.
We need excuse notes.
And we brought payment.
Fried cheese sticks.
Gimme, gimme, gimme!
Dad?
I didn't know you were a doctor.
No, neither did i, but apparently, all you need is
This head doodad and this neck womble, and people pay you to
Fix them.
Why, just this very morning, i did a heart transplant.
Wait! Wait!
I think that's a tomato!
So what do you rotten little delinquents need to be excused
From?
P.E.!
Ew! Ugh!
No! See, that's an ethical gray area, and a doctor of my
Standing shouldn't... We have fried zucchini!
A note for you, a note for you, a note for you...
No note for you.
No note?
Son, if i gave you a fake note to get out of p.E.,
What kind of parent would that make me, huh?
Huh, huh?
Well, billy, since everyone else seems to have
Simultaneously contracted "the cooties," i guess i have
No choice but to... Cancel p.E.?
No. To make you exercise for the whole class.
Lift those knees!
Reach for it.
Come on!
Keep your core activated.
50 more.
Don't get sloppy.
You get sloppy, and your wife suddenly won't let you eat
Steak on tuesdays.
We got to do something, yo.
Coach is killing billy with exercise.
Calm down, constrictor.
This is all part of the plan.
You see, we needed someone to keep coach's attention so that
We can perform... The summoning.
We shall call upon the power of our snake brethren to destroy
This accursed gymnasium.
Everyone get inside the summoning circle.
Activate the thumper.
Everyone join hands, and now repeat the words of the ancient
And dark incantation.
I passed out lyric sheets for those not familiar.
"i could hide 'neath the wings of the bluebird as she
Sings the 6 o'clock alarm would never
Ring, but it rings and i rise wipe the sleep out of my eyes
My shavin' razor's cold and it stings."
The destroyer!
The destroyer is here!
Whoa!
Uh, that... That's the destroyer?
Just remember, it is only the size of your will
That truly matters.
Look at her go.
See, she is scuffing up the floor.
In an hour or so, that should leave a permanent mark.
We'll get there when we get there...
That's very sweet of you...
Give me that scythe!
I stopped caring like 5 episodes ago.
Out of my way!
Now that's what i'm talking about!
Yes, yes!
Destroy! Destroy!
Ah, it is a glorious victory.
Yes, i could stand here and look at this all day!
Did it ever once occur to you stupid, stupid boys that
Maybe we girls want p.E.?
Hmm?
That maybe we need an outlet for our aggression?
Well, i see that... Ooh.
Oh, cromulon.
Come on, ladies.
Be reasonable, yo.
I regret nothing!
You know what happened?
You got sloppy!
Here we go, kids, the ancient egypt exhibit.
Wow. This takes me back.
This is when i was interning for osiris, god of the
Underworld.
He had me mostly making coffee and mummifying cats, pulling
Up rings out of a corpse's nose, weighing the bodies of
The dead, you know, mindless grunt work, but it made me into
The reaper i am today.
You mean a pathetic slave to two children?
Exactly.
Half-Naked animal people, triangle-Shaped buildings,
Jewelry with bugs in it.
I've got to admit, these egyptians had style.
Wouldn't you agree, billy?
Billy!
Oh, great.
Where'd he go now?
Aah!
I am a big, stupid, mindless mummy and i...
Hi, irwin.
That is real messed up, yo, and in front of my family, too.
You know my mommy is a mummy.
My daddy loves my mummy mommy, and i'm half-Mummy from my toes
To my tummy, yo.
See?
Um, t.M.I.
Hey, we're here to check out my mummy grandpa... The great
Pharaoh king poppin' lockin'.
Check it out, yo.
According to this ancient comic strip, back in the day, king
Poppin' lockin' was a low-Down funky fresh gangster, yo.
He controlled miles of the nile with an iron fist.
Grandpa even tried to get my mom to follow in his footsteps,
But after seeing how poorly he treated his followers, she was
Like, "no. Forget it, old man."
And he was all like, "how can you walk away from tradition,
Yo?" so mama got to steppin', and
They never spoke to each other again.
Your story bores me.
Get to the point.
The point is, mandy, i didn't even know any of this
Before coming to the museum today.
Now i'm more in touch with my mummy heritage than ever before.
Ah... Mummy heritage.
Come on, mandy.
At least join me on the audio tour.
Grr!
Ok! I understand.
Some other time, my love.
Come on, mom and dad.
Well, i guess i'll trilly.
No time to slide the jib.
We're ghosts.
Oh, ok.
What the heck did he just say?
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Irwin!
Oh, mandy!
Irwin!
Not now, billy.
I'm trying to make my move, yo.
Irwin!
Mandy!
Irwin!
I have returned from the afterlife for you.
Who are you, anyway?
Who am i?
Why, it's me, your grandfather, the great pharaoh,
King poppin' lockin'.
Come here, my little bubbala.
Oy, it's so nice to finally meet my grandson.
I hope i didn't frighten you.
I knew the only way i could see you was by breaking into your
House and visiting you in your room
In the middle of the night.
Oh, it's all good, yo.
Hey, it's not the first time a strange person in a costume
Broke into my room and tried to visit me in the middle of the
Night.
Sassy cat, attack!
Oh, no!
The tooth fairy!
Not again!
Hey, grandpa, wait right there.
I'll go wake up mom and dad.
Whoa!
Slow down, sonny.
Not just yet.
It's the middle of the night.
Besides, i have a gift i wanted to give you.
A gift?
It's a surprise.
First, you gotta close your eyes.
There!
It's like a 64-Ounce soda cup, yo.
Why, grandpa?
Why do you want me to wear a beverage container?
It's the crown of the sacred scarab!
You... You're next in line to inherit the title of pharaoh.
Me?
A pharaoh?
I don't know.
Will it make me more popular with the ladies?
But of course it will.
But if you really want to impress the girls, you got to
Be a man and build a pyramid.
A pyramid?
In ancient egypt, we have a saying, "the sure-Fire way to a
Woman's heart is through her chest."
Or you could build a pyramid.
All right!
I'll do it!
Whoa, grandpa.
What's that?
What, this thing?
This is a starga... I mean space door.
It's a key ingredient we need to get started.
It functions by tunneling through sub-Space to form a
Worm hole allowing instantaneous travel across
Millions of light years.
It's an unstable, untested dimensional vortex.
You'll be fine!
Now you stand there, and i'll chant the magic words behind
This sturdy wall over here, where it's safe.
That's messed up, yo.
Ok. Here we go!
Bialy, zayen, sherman, sherman,
Huy!
All right, now i'm ready.
Ahem!
Ooh, baby!
Who put the bop in the bop sh-Bop, sh-Bop?
Who put the ram in the ram-A-Lam-A-Ding-Dong?
Aah!
Boogedy boogedy boogedy boogedy shoo!
Aw. That wasn't so bad.
Aah!
Duh.
Caw.
Hey, mom.
Hey, dad.
Hey, what's the matter?
No coffee this morning?
No time for that.
We're off to work.
For the glory of tooten pooten.
Uhh!
What the... >> tooten pooten.
Tooten pooten.
You guys!
What did you do this time, billy?
I didn't do nothing.
Then if it wasn't you two, then who?
Long live the nerd king.
Irwin!
Tooten pooten, tooten pooten!
"oh, king tooten pooten, your crown is so manly."
"that's right, mandy, and only i, the pharaoh, can wear this
Sacred 64-Ounce headpiece."
"ooh. Let's make out, yo."
Ahem.
Your majesty.
Aah!
You have guests.
So, irwin, i guess they finally crowned you king of the
Dorks.
I'll have you know my name is now king tooten pooten, and
Soon, i'll have my own pyramid from which i will rule all of
Endsville.
Of course, i will be needing a queen.
Ooh!
I'll be your queen!
Am i the only one who needs
Subtitles for this episode?
Allow me to translate, my love.
She's saying, "hey, yo, pops, you're building pyramids again.
You always do this.
What's up with that?" my father had a pyramid; i
Had a pyramid; and by gosh, my grandson will have one, too.
It's tradition!
"times change, dad.
Tradition is all right, but this is another day.
Irwin doesn't have to build a pyramid if he doesn't want to."
Look, son, you don't have to live up to any expectations.
Just be yourself, and people will like you, you big nerd.
Come on, bubbala.
The desire to build pyramids is in your blood.
You're a pharaoh at heart.
Wh-What do i do?
Do i give up the biggest chance of my life, or do i break my
Mother's heart?
What do my friends think?
That's my grandson!
I have made up my mind.
Double production speed for the glory of tooten pooten!
Hah!
As we say in ancient egypt, "boo-Ya!
How do you like me now?"
"yeah, thanks, dad.
Thanks a lot.
This is why we never visit!" having a pyramid is so
Awesome, grandpa.
Yep, it sure is.
Gee, i'm getting kind of hungry.
I'm gonna go grab a pizza.
Huh!
That's not going to happen.
Why not, yo?
A pharaoh is always entombed in his pyramid, and the pyramid
Is almost complete.
Once they seal that hole up there, we can never leave.
Never leave?
No!
Help!
Get me out of here!
Hey! Quiet!
Boychick, if you don't stop your kvetching, i'll give you
Such a potch on your tuchus.
This is totally messed up, yo.
Lightning bolt!
Ow! Ooh... >> zap!
Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!
Zap!
Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt, lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!
Ow! Ow!
Idiots!