I don't believe in happy endings.
And that's how i broke every
Bone in my body over summer vacation.
That's super, carol.
Anyone else want to thrill us with their summer exploits?
Ooh!
I had an awesome summer vacation.
You see, my best friend is the grim reaper, and we do all sorts
Of cool stuff together. Grim!
Oh, grim!
I need you!
Consarn it, boy.
This is "me" time.
We swim together, and we lurk in graveyards together,
And sometimes we hold hands just to enjoy the peace and quiet of
A summer day.
Billy, i am not a toy.
You can't just summon me for no reason.
Billy, the grim reaper was pretty neat the first five or
Six times you brought it to class, but the magic's sort of
Worn off.
Yeah, billy.
You bring me to school with you almost every day.
I think i know more about the metric system than you do.
Oh, yeah?
Then what's the capital of the metric system, hmm?
Billy, please sit down.
We don't care about the grim reaper the same way we don't
Care about pud'n's uncle being an astronaut.
The gig is up, kid.
I still want my 2 bucks.
I'm starting to wish i'd spent more of my summer
Vacation luring bees into your house.
Aah!
I hate spiders.
That's why i carry this.
I'm gonna get a bigger one soon
That sucks up wussies.
Ms. Butterbean, i think my bladder's gonna explode!
Please go use the restroom this time, pud'n.
Aah!
This spider thing is getting out of hand.
Where are all these things coming from?
It's like an omen, yo.
Harbinger of doom.
It's like something's calling out to the spiders, yo, telling
Them that this is their time, that the age of man is over, and
That we all must make way for the age of the spider.
All this talk of omens
Is making me thirsty.
I think we'd better split up.
I need to gets me a second milk.
Aren't you afraid the spiders might get us if we split
Up, yo?
Spiders don't scare me.
Yes, they do!
That's beside the point.
What is the point?
The point is i work alone, kid.
Yay.
Please, drink me, billy.
I'm full of calcium and vitamin d.
Yeah, come on, billy.
What are you thinking?
You know where the party is.
Uh-Huh.
Woo, woo, mooooooooo!
Aah!
Hey, dad, i'm right next to you.
No need to strain your voice.
Aah!
Yeah, it's good to see you, too, dad.
Aah!
So, uh... Guess what.
W-W-What?
Chicken butt.
Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aaaaah!
No, seriously, dad, i've got something to tell you.
You see, dad, i'm getting married.
Look, dad, i know we haven't
Always seen eye to eye, but it'd mean the world to me if you'd
Come to my wedding.
I hate you.
Why won't you die?
Whoa, dad, that's quite a handshake.
Billy...
Help me, man.
For the milk!
Aah!
I wonder why billy
Didn't come to class.
What are you on about, woman?
Billy's right here, yo.
I just lent him 15 bucks and my cellphone.
Ha!
I'm a double agent, sucker.
Another clean getaway.
Aah!
Something's not right.
I think it's your face, loser.
They do face transplants now.
Maybe i'll take yours and put it back on the pig it came from.
You dirty... Why, i ought to...
Grim, don't you sense that something strange is going
On?
Yeah, but i'm too bored to really care.
Why?
Hurry!
To me, billy.
To moooooo-E!
Welcome, my spiders.
Welcome to the lair of the spider queen.
I have summoned you here with my song tonight.
Aah! Yeah, dad.
That's my fiancé, the spider queen.
She's quite a singer.
Welcome also to the representatives from the kingdom
Of the dark elves, who are so kindly providing the catering
For the event tonight.
Quit it.
You quit it.
Tonight, my friends, is the night i've waited 130,657 years
For.
This is the night i will eat the grim reaper's head and devour
His powers, claiming my rightful place as the one true reaper!
Oh, i'll also be getting married.
Oh, my gosh!
I just remembered what the capital of the metric system is.
Where are all of the other students?
I mean, it's just us and clarence, and he's so boring, i
Don't even usually notice him.
I can't shake this feeling that something in me
Past is coming back to haunt me.
Something, but what?
Hmm.
Aah!
More spiders.
Yeah, maybe something to do with these crazy spiders.
But what?
Who?
Grim reaper, a message from the spider queen.
Hey, how did that guy know who i was?
Because you look so much like george clooney.
What's it say?
"a wedding invitation from... Velma green"?
Someone you know?
I thought it sounded familiar, but...
"from junior high school, stupid."
Well, it can't be that velma green.
Oh, it is that velma green.
Hmm.
Hey, did he have to go poo-Poo?
Stop stealing billy's material, you hack!
Hey!
I know you losers are causing all this.
You freaks belong in a freak mart, not in school with people
Who are friendly and normal.
I'm not causing this, little girl, but i'm afraid i've
Brought grave danger to endsville.
Get it?
"grave danger"?
"grave"?
And i'm the grim reaper, right?
Anyway, i'm afraid i've brought
About the wrath of the spider queen.
Like how i worked the title in like that?
Huh?
Get serious, grim,
Before i get serious.
Okay, okay.
She went to junior high with me 130,000 years ago.
I made her a little mad.
She was supposed to be the grim reaper.
130,000 years?
That's an impressive grudge.
You're telling me.
You doodie faces are boring me.
I just want you to make all the spiders go away.
Spiders are gross and ugly, like you two.
Aah!
Grim, it's so good to see you again.
I missed you at the 50,000-Year reunion.
I had to wash my hair?
Hmm, yes.
Amusing, baldy, very amusing.
Your minions, i take it?
Minions?
Lady... Velma, you've got it
All wrong.
Everything.
Grim, i'm getting married.
And before i do that, i want to take care of all my
Unfinished business.
You've come to pay me back the $2 you owe me from
Eighth grade?
No.
I've come to claim my rightful place as reaper.
And in order to do that, i'm afraid i'm going to have to eat
Your head.
My head?
I kind of need it.
Perhaps, grim, but i need it more.
Hey, let me out of here, you fashion disaster.
Yeah, keep doing that,
Einstein.
Einstein only had one outfit that he wore over and over.
I laugh at your heroes, mandy.
Laugh.
Gee, dad, i'm so glad you decided to come to my wedding
Instead of trying to kill me again.
There it is... The spider
Palace.
Aah!
What a place to have a wedding, huh?
Yeah.
A great place to have a wedding.
Help me.
Son.
Say, i love you, dad.
I... I... I...
I l-L... I l-L-L-L... I l-L...
I love you, too.
Say, are you gonna drink that?
Oh, this milk?
Sorry, i forgot i picked this up.
Here it is, coming back at you.
Powered by my love.
Aah!
It wasn't my fault.
I... No, it wasn't your fault, billy.
It was the spider's fault.
We hate spiders for a reason.
Avenge me, billy.
Hurt him.
Hurt him very, very much.
Goodbye, little milky.
I really wanted to drink you.
Don't worry, billy.
I will always be with you.
Well, i mean, i'm gonna be here a while.
We can catch up later or something, go see a movie, a
Chalupa.
Whyyyyyyyy?
I'm so sorry i spilled your milk, dad.
But, like other people's fathers always told them, it's not worth
Crying over spilled milk.
Get... Out... Of here!
Okay.
You want to just meet me in front of the palace at...
No, i mean get out of here and never come back!
I hate spiders!
Don't you get it?
I don't have to be a spider,
Dad.
I can be anything you want me to be.
I wanted to join the peace corps, but i'll make you some
Cookies instead if that's what you want.
I want you to get squished!
I hate bugs!
What would it take for you to get it through your big, gross
Head?
Take your ugly, hairy, smelly, stupid girlfriend and get out of
My life!
Dad, how dare you call velma
My girlfriend?
She's my fiancé.
What's happening to me?
Aah!
Ohh! No!
I... I've become angry!
Aah!
Get away from me!
I hate you, dad!
I hate you!
I only wanted to be a good son, and you never came to any of my
Birthday parties and you never let me see mom and you took all
My college money to buy jawbreakers and you kept cutting
My brake cables and i've had it!
I don't need your stupid rules!
Good.
Yes.
Yes!
I can feel the hatred flowing through you.
Join me, and... Moooo!
Ahh!
January 21... 1974?
Look, lady.
You got a bone to pick with bonehead?
He's a jerk, sure.
But the armed invasion seems a little extreme.
I am not a jerk.
I'm a giver.
Like when i gave you kids the chicken pox again last summer.
I've got a bone to pick
Because grim here cheated to get where he is today.
If i were a cheater, would i be permanently stuck
With two little kids?
I'm telling you, velma... There's been a big mistake.
My mistake was trusting you, grim.
You took advantage of my friendship.
I have no more friendship left to offer, grim.
Only a thirst for vengeance that's like that kind of thirst
You get when you're out in the sun a long time and for some
Reason, you keep eating ice cream.
Velma, "cheating" is such a
Strong word.
Curtis! Kalgoron!
Bring grim to me.
I want to sample my cake.
Let me do it.
The honor belongs to kalgoron.
Stop it, kalgoron.
Oh, no, i got icing in my brain.
Oh, i'll deal with you little apes later.
Right now, i've got bigger heads to fry.
Hey, guess what, honey bottom.
I'm my own man now.
I don't need nobody.
What do you think about that?
Good for you, jeffy.
Now please be quiet.
I'm trying to exact some revenge over here.
You be quiet!
Nobody puts jeffy in a corner.
I'm mad at the world, baby!
Remember the day we met, grim?
Your head even looked tasty back then.
Oh, gross.
What is that stuff?
Sick.
My memories.
If you look inside, you can see what's really in my head.
Doesn't this happen to you when you pop your skull open?
Hmm.
You mean if i look inside your head, i can see what you
Remember?
Yes.
If you peer inside, you'll know my truest, most personal
Thoughts.
Don't look too deep.
There are dark places in my mind that no one should see.
Honey, i'm home, and i brought dinner.
Wait a minute.
This isn't my house.
My wife's a stegosaurus.
What am i looking at, grim?
I'm remembering the day you moved to town.
The first time we met.
Short ♪ ♪ My back two legs are long
Hey, i found my contact lens.
That's great, honey.
Wow.
Yes, this looks like an excellent planet to settle down
On... And conquer.
Velma, don't forget your
Sweater.
This was my first memory of you.
The day you moved to the underworld from spider planet
In galaxy omega-9.
I thought you and i would be friends forever.
Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you
Cheated.
Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.
Wait, velma.
What i really wanted to show you was what happened all those
Years ago, during the reaper election.
Wait, you got elected to be the grim reaper?
Yeah, i won a scare election...
A long time ago, when velma and i went to junior high together.
Aah!
Hang on a minute, spider-Butt.
I want to know how grim became the grim reaper.
I want to go to the mall.
There's a sale at the clip-On earring barn.
All right.
Let's all watch grim's memories together.
Then his shame will be complete.
Everyone will know what you did and how you lied.
Curtis! Kalgoron!
Hook our guest up to the big screen so everyone can watch.
Hey!
Cut that out!
Don't touch that.
What?
Just don't touch it.
Why?
Trust me, idiot.
Don't touch it.
I'm touching it.
It's like an omen, yo.
Harbinger of doom.
It's like something's calling out to the spiders, yo, telling
Them that this is their time, that the age of man is over, and
That we all must make way for the age of the spider.
The time for explanations is
Over.
The time to feast on your powers has begun.