Ready?
Set.
Go!
Nothing like a new manhole to spruce up the dungeon.
I know.
They make a room.
So...
homey.
Oh, Wednesday.
How was school today?
Ms. Crank gave my rainbow an 'F'.
But that's a beautiful rainbow!
Ms. Crank says it's too dark.
She's nuts!
You want me to go stinkbomb her car?
Maybe some other time.
Hey!
Looks like we got a new mailman.
Did you see the way he looked at you, Mama?
His eyes wide.
The color drained from his face.
That look of total terror!
I think he likes you.
And I like him.
In fact,
I think I'm in love.
Now!
Lurch, be careful!
That tickles!
Gomez.
This has gone much too far.
I can't stand to see you laughing like this.
And I thought those needles would be painful!
Better luck next time, darling.
It was worth a shot.
Wednesday.
Here.
It's a letter from my art teacher, Ms. Crank.
Great name.
Oh, no.
She says unless Wednesday learns to paint like the other students, she's going to fail art.
Well, if it's a matter of passing the class,
maybe you should do what she says.
But, Father.
She wants me to use...
colour!
That's it!
We yank them both out of the school system!
Now, Gomez.
We'll just have to find a way to help Wednesday pass.
But I don't know how to paint like the other students.
Well then, we'll hire someone to teach you.
Ow!
I don't think Wednesday likes the idea of an art tutor.
I know!
She didn't knock over a single lamp!
The blood,
the gore,
the decapitation.
Let's get Caravaggio to teach little Wednesday how to paint rainbows!
Darling, Caravaggio has been dead for hundreds of years.
We have to find someone who's still alive.
Well, that limits our options.
How about Leopold DaMinci?
He cut off both his ears!
You can't beat those credentials.
"Buongiorno."
Roma, Italia, informazione?
"Si, si."
Leo DaMinci, per favore!
Ah, mama mia! It's the Piz...
Hello~?
Hello, Gomez Addams here!
Is this the world famous artist, Leopold DaMinci?
No.
It's-a the world-a famous-a delivery-a man,
Leo DaMinci.
Excellent!
A genius with a sense of humour.
So, Mr. DaMinci.
I was wondering if you'd come to America,
and give my daughter Wednesday some art lessons.
Okay, fine.
But I won't take-a less than... 5,000 a week.
Eheh.
Are you sure?
I can go up to eight.
No, Mr. Addams.
The people confuse me with Leopold DaMinci all...
8,000?
You're right.
I'll make it an even 10.
So, what do you say?
The folks at the hospital are going to love this fruit basket I'm sending them!
It will really liven things up in the recovery ward.
I'll be staked out at the mailbox if anyone needs me.
Mama.
Is that eau de formaldehyde I smell?
Yes.
You have a new beau.
If I ever see him again.
I waited all yesterday for him to deliver the mail,
but he never came.
Actually, Mama, he dropped it off last night.
He was wearing camouflage.
A night owl.
Oh, he's perfect for me!
Then set a trap for him.
Nothing says "be mine" like a corrugated bear trap!
Maybe you're right.
Come on.
You can use my discount card at Weapons R Us.
I agree, Lurch.
Mama uses too much perfume.
"Beware of Everything!"
And when the rope breaks,
he falls into the tree trunk,
and down the chute.
Ah, "excusé."
Eh, I'm-a Leo...
Huh?
pold DaMinci.
Is this the Addams' residence?
You don't look anything like your pictures.
You're taller,
thinner,
and younger!
Well...
Y-you know the camera!
It takes off-a ten years!
And you have ears.
Yes.
Eh...
They grew back.
Don't you just hate that?
Eh.
"Beware of Kitty."
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Hmm?
Mr. DaMinci, I presume!
Welcome to your new home.
Hey, thank you very much-ah.
I've had a lovely stay, but let's keep in touch.
I hope it's okay if we pay you in cash.
Which reminds me.
Aside from teaching Wednesday,
Morticia and I were hoping that we could commission a painting from you.
Agh.
I'm sorry. I'm-a retired!
We'll pay you handsomely.
Huh?
Oil paint or, uh...
paint by numbers?
Surprise us.
Wednesday?
I'd like you to meet your new art teacher,
the great Leopold DaMinci.
Hi, little Wednesday.
So, do you think you can help her?
I don't think anyone can.
Good luck, old man!
Scream if you need anything.
Wait, where are you going?
We want to leave you two alone to get to know each other.
So, Mr. DaMinci.
How long did it take you to paint The Irises?
Uh.
Two days.
What can I say?
I'm a genius.
DaMinci didn't paint The Irises.
Van Gogh did.
You would know that if you were a real artist.
Well, when you've painted so many-ah paintings, sometimes-ah you forget.
Did you know Van Gogh went insane?
Where's the mailbox?
Oh, no.
Haha!
Mama!
One mailman, comin' right up!
Thank you, Lurch.
Just set him down in the corner.
Okay.
I'm a complete fraud!
So, uh.
I'll just-ah be going-ah now.
Hm?
But then Father will have to hire a new teacher.
So, you'll just stay here and we'll pretend you're teaching me how to paint,
okay?
Mr. and Mrs. Addams, come here.
I got a confession to make.
I'm a nothin' but a pizza delivery man!
Meet Douglas Preston,
the last person who admitted lying to my Father.
Pathetic.
He can't even tell an ashtray from a funeral urn.
My reed hearts coming along nicely.
Darlings, are you ready for a little lunch?
It'll be just a second.
So, how are Wednesday's art lessons coming along?
Splendidly.
Why, yesterday she ventured into the family of greys.
It's a little too cheery for my taste,
but if that's what her teacher wants...
Mama, what are you doing?
That's bug spray.
What?
Oh dear.
You know, that's only supposed to be used for cooking.
I'm so sorry.
I don't know what's come over me.
I do, Mama.
You're in love!
Oh, fat lot of good that does me.
Every time that mailman sees me,
he takes off!
Ah, playing hard to get.
He must really like you.
But I'm tired of chasing after him.
How can I make him stop running away?
Nail his feet to the floor?
Oh, that's a great idea!
Oh, thank you, Gomez.
Now, now, darlings. Share!
Tish.
When you say "share" like that, it drives me wild.
No, Gomez.
I think you mean...
"Mon cher."
Not in front of the reeds.
I hope he won't mind the nails in his feet.
Relax.
He'll be flattered.
Look at the size of these babies!
Top of the line.
Come on, let's go rig the floorboards.
They moved it again.
Cara mia...
Your face...
It's so...
Deathly.
And your touch.
I can feel ice pulsing through your veins.
Did you hear something?
Nothing out of the ordinary.
I hope Mr. DaMinci likes the dinner we prepared.
He hasn't touched anything since he got here.
You know artists!
They like to starve.
Hello, Mr. DaMinci, we brought you a little snack.
Oh, good.
There you go.
Lizarde de l'orange?
My favourite.
Isn't it everyone's?
Gomez, come see this!
It's lovely.
Oh.
Do you like it?
It's a...
I know! The painting we commissioned you to do.
How much do you want for it?
30,000?
60,000?
6... 60,000?
66,000 it is.
A steal for an original DaMinci.
DaMinci, old boy, I'm a little short.
We'll have to settle upstairs.
Let's invite Wednesday's teacher to the unveiling.
Good idea.
When Mrs. Crank finds out that the great Leopold Diminci,
is teaching Wednesday,
she'll be so impressed,
she'll pass her with flying colours!
Mr. DaMinci, you'll be the guest of honour.
Mama, that was brilliant.
Sending yourself a certified letter.
Wasn't it? Hahaha...
Now the mailman has to see me,
so I can sign for it.
So,
how do you like this outfit, Fester?
That's the one!
Mama, you look so...
deformed.
Oh, thank you.
Now, I even baked him my famous...
Mississippi mud pie!
With real mud.
Can I have a piece?
No.
This is for my favourite.
Whoa.
Well, if that doesn't give him indigestion, I dunno what will... !
Ms. Crank, I'm so glad you were able to make it for the unveiling.
Well, when you told me who your guest of honor was, I couldn't refuse.
Yes, I carry several~
DaMincis in my gallery.
Along with your standard Van Goghs.
You really should take something for that cough.
Mr. DaMinci, what a good look for you.
Very intensive care.
Greetings. I am-a Leopold Diminci.
Mr. DaMinci!
It is an honour.
Well, I think it's the time to be going now.
Well, you know how it is, world's famous artist, hobnobbing, jet setting.
666,000 please.
Mr. DaMinci, you haven't unveiled your masterpiece, yet!
No, no, no, we don't want to expose it to, uh, light.
Or anything else for that matter.
Well, what do you think?
It's... it's... absolutely...
exquisite.
Hn?
I'd recognize that style anywhere.
Ah, sheer genius.
I'm glad to hear you say that, because I painted it.
My student, she's such a joker.
Hi, little Wednesday.
Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you.
I'll bet.
Wednesday, it's not nice to lie.
After all, I know a DaMinci when I see one.
Ms Crank.
Our daughter never lies.
Oh, she may break windows, set fires and steal stop signs, -
but lie?
Never.
Tell them.
She's a problem child!
Flattery will get you nowhere.
That man isn't Leopold DaMinci... !
He, he, he's an imposter!
He's also a pizza delivery man.
Really?
A scam artist?
A fraud?
A pizza delivery man?
And here I thought you were just the world's greatest artist.
Now, I'm really impressed.
Wednesday,
this painting is excellent.
I guess I really underestimated you.
I hope there are no hard feelings.
When throwing someone down the stairs,
it's important not to push too hard.
Otherwise, you could pull a muscle.
Hmm?
Why, hello there.
Mrs. Grandmama A-Ad-Addams... !
C-c-c-c-c-certified mail!
It's so nice to see you.
Here,
I've baked you a little something.
What are you trying to do?
Kill me?
Kill you?
Don't be ridiculous.
I gotta get a new job...
You will call me!
Four stop signs?
Wednesday, leave some for the other children!
Now Gomez.
She deserves them after getting an A in art.
Besides, they were four-way stop signs.
It wouldn't be right to leave any behind.
Our daughter.
So logical.
Mama, it's so nice to see you out and about.
It's too bad things didn't work out with the mailman.
Oh, that's alright.
He really wasn't my type.
Too jumpy.
I'm sure you'll meet someone new.
Alright.
I wanna know where that little girl is, who stole the stop signs!
Another victim of the Addams charm.
Awooooo... !