Great shot!
Yes, but I didn't scratch.
Ah, there's always next time, querida.
What do you say we raise the ante on this game?
Loser speaks French...
Nice break.
Mon cher.
That's...
French.
Now!
Cousin Itt!
Cousin Itt, old man!
It's always so nice to have you visit.
Lurch just dusted in your room this morning.
It's completely musty and uncomfortable~
You're looking great.
Did you do some'n new to your hair?
Awfully quiet, isn't he?
Itt?
Are you feeling alright?
No fever?
His nose is cold and wet.
Completely normal.
Cousin Itt?
If you're you, then... who's this?
Ma'am... ?
Cousin Itt, I didn't know you had a dog.
What were you doing at the dog pound?
Oh, my.
Well, at least you got to spend the night in a cramped kennel~
What are you doing back in town?
"Or maybe... —-----"
Wow!
You're the spokesman for Poo-Sham Shampoo?
Congratulations!
Of course you can use the cemetery for a photoshoot!
I've got a surprise that I've been saving for an occasion just like this!
No, Fester!
Not the big firework...!
Hey, Addams!
You know the drill?
Now give me your lunch money.
We already spent it on lunch.
If you want to mug Pugsley, you should do it in the morning.
What's this?
Y'let your sister fight your battles?
No, I can take care of myself.
That's it. I expect double next time I see you.
Or else.
Gomez!
That sounded like the mournful, anguished cry
of someone in complete and utter terror.
Let's go make certain~
AHHHHHHHhhh.
Fester!
Was that your plaintive wail?
No, I thought it was you.
Well, it certainly wasn't me.
Well, if it wasn't any of us...
wwaAaaAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhh.
That sounds like it came from Cousin Itt's room!
It sounds like he's crying.
Cousin Itt, are you alright?
Here he is!
What's wrong?
You're losing your hair?
Well, not for long.
You're going bald.
Welcome to the club.
Pugsley?
Where are you, son?
We know you're in here.
Wednesday told us you refused to go to school today.
We're very proud of you!
Curse you~
Thank you.
Pugsley, what are you doing in there?
Hiding from the school bully.
Well.
It's nice to see you're making new friends.
But Chucky says he's going to beat me up if I don't give him my lunch money.
Why didn't you say something?
How much do ya need?
Darling, if Pugsley gives in, won't the boy keep bothering him?
Hmn, maybe you're right.
Gomez.
I think it's time you taught Pugsley to defend himself.
But Chucky's so much bigger and stronger than me!
That's because he's a bully!
But don't you worry about a thing!
Your old man is an expert in self-defense.
I'm going to teach you everything I know.
Lesson one!
How to take a fall!
Hair Doctor.
Guy Sterling.
From the Hair League for Men.
I'm not just the owner.
I'm also a member.
Go ahead.
Give it a tug.
Come on.
Ow, ow... !
See?
Glad you could come over on such short notice, Dr Sterling.
Oh my.
Looks like I got here just in time.
But don't worry.
We'll have that head covered in copious coiff in no time~
Hey, back off!
I'm not the patient.
Itt is.
He looks familiar.
Well, he should.
Look!
The PooSham Shampoo spokesman!
In person.
The problem is, he wakes up with hair all over his pillow.
And the rest of the bed, too.
I trust we'll have Doctor-Patient confidentiality, here?
But, of course.
Outta my way.
Let's see.
Now, that's what I call a professional!
First,
we need to apply my special patented hair growth formula.
Hm.
I could have sworn this was full.
Sorry.
D'you think he'll be ready for his photoshoot tomorrow?
Well, there's still a full scalp massage,
and the electrostatic follicle stimulation, to go.
Now, but first, we have to dry him off.
And at this rate,
that could take days.
Oh, sure, with a tiny little thing like that.
I'll be right back!
[ FESTER WHEELS in a GIANT BLOWING DEVICE
Gosh!
The Windmaster 6000!
It delivers 15,000 watts of...!
tornado toppler...
Stop... !
Stopppp — !
You really gotta pick up one of these things!
[ CLUTCHES WINDOW, ABOUT TO FALL ] I hope he loses all his hair!
I win... !
I gotchu!
Put 'em up!
I'll fight you with one hand behind my back!
I'll fight you with two hands tied behind my back!
Pugsley, son!
There you are.
You wanted to see me?
Son, it's time for your first lesson in self-defense.
The key to boxing, is all in the footwork.
Watch me.
See!
Now, you try!
Oh, and remember one other thing.
Never, ever take your eye off your opponent!
Oof... !
Pugsley?
Pugsley, son?
Maybe boxing isn't your game.
Cousin Itt!
Oh...
Oh, dear. Not again!
He's losing his hair, alright.
You're leaving?
But what about the photoshoot?
"I can't — — —, — — — —--!"
What do you mean you can't show it your face in public again?
I know things are a little hairy right now.
"Nobody — — — —--!"
Let me rephrase that.
Wait!
There's one thing left to try.
I'm going to use all of my scientific knowledge,
skill, and know-how,
to try to find a cure,
for baldness... !
"Sorry.
If this doesn't do it,
nothing will.
Fester!
You're a genius.
Hai... ya!
The call of the Samurai,
requires extreme discipline.
And finally... !
A lone Samurai,
becomes one,
with his sword.
I'm sorry, Pugsley-san.
Waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii... ya!
Watch, carefully.
The art,
of a master.
ahhhhhhh!
Hai-yi-yi-yi-yi... !
Pugsley.
Where's your father?
Well, son.
Maybe "Samurai" isn't your game, either.
Oh, Gomez, there must be something Pugsley's good at.
Hey, I always win at checkers!
Not quite the physically intimidating sort of contest we need...
Oh, though if we sharpen the checkers to a razor's edge... ?
And I can always teach you to play possum.
Never underestimate the power of a well-faked death!
So you don't think I can beat him,
do you?
Of course you can, Pugsley.
You can do anything you want.
I can?
That's right.
You're an Addams.
An Addams?
So you really believe in me?
Of course we do.
I'm gonna stand up to that bully,
if it's the last thing I do!
'Cause I'm an Addams!
Yeah.
I'm an Addams!
Pugsley! Pugsley! Pugsley!
I'm an Adams!
Pugsley! Pugsley! Pugsley!
I'll tell Mama to stock up on bandages.
Pugsley! Pugsley!
Pugsley?
Gomez! Morticia!
Look what happened,
to my crystal ball.
I've heard the future being fuzzy, but that's ridiculous!
Eureka!
Eureka... !
Fester, what's all the commotion?
Fester, what's wrong!
What's — ?
You've grown hair.
Fester, old man.
Yeah?
On a golf ball.
A baseball and a bowling ball.
The only question is,
will it work on a living subject?
Oh, I loathe to try it out, on my own sparkling scalp...!
Besides, it may be painful and disfiguring.
Or worse.
Alright!
You've talked me into it.
Morticia,
will you do the honours?
My pleasure.
Alright! Now this could be dangerous.
So back up.
Back up!
Way back!
Ready.
Yes.
More.
That's right!
Don't miss a spot, Morticia... !
I can feel it.
It's working.
Yes.
It's working... !
I can feel my follicles tingling.
Ha ha!
Grow!
Grow, hair!
Grow!
I can't wait to tell Cousin Itt!
He's been in there an awfully long time.
What could they possibly be doing in there?
Well?
Did it work?
You could say that.
I wouldn't go in there if I were you!
Morticia, you better get the scissors.
Oh, Pugsley.
Do you still have that headache?
Are you talkin' to me, sister?
What are you doing... ?
Mother and Father convinced me that I could stand up for myself.
Pugsley, you can barely stand up by yourself.
So you don't think I'm ready?
To take on the biggest, meanest bully in the whole school?
Of course you're ready.
But first,
I have something for you to sign.
What's this?
Your Last Will and Testament.
O
Fester?
Hey, Gomez.
Fester!
What happened to your hair?
Uh oh.
I was afraid this was going to happen.
Guess my formula is only temporary!
That means...
Cousin Itt!
We're gonna have to break it to 'im gently.
Cousin Itt,
there's something we have to talk to you about.
You're going bald like me, and there's nothing we can do about it!
I'm so sorry I failed you... !
Now your career as an hair model is over!
Say something to us, Cousin Itt!
Speak!
Cousin Itt?
Them?
Cousin Itt wasn't going bald, after all!
It was "Them" all along.
Well, that's "Them".
Where's "Itt"?
Bye, Them!
Come on.
That's it!
Ah give me a more, a more, a more, oh, that's it, hold! Hold!
Morticia.
Excellent news!
I know.
Itt told me, already.
He isn't losing his hair,
Them was shedding!
Let's get a closer.
He went ahead with the photoshoot and left us to worry needlessly.
How thoughtful.
Stop the photoshoot.
Excuse me.
Magnificent!
Isn't it so beautiful?
Such perfection... !
What is that exquisite creature?
It's Them.
Oh?
No, Them is "it", not "who".
What?
No.
What's for who, when Itt's here!
It's Them.
They're inseparable.
Oh, whatever it is.
He is exquisite.
Meester Eet?
I'll double what I'm paying you to use your dog, instead.
Capital idea!
Now if Cousin Itt gets all the money,
he won't have to do any of the work.
Lucky dog.
Time's up, Addams.
You can't run from me, forever.
Here I am, Chucky.
I'm not running away from you, anymore.
Big words, little boy.
Now hand over the money.
This town ain't big enough for the two of us.
Hey, uh.
[ STUTTERS, takes off STETSON ] There's no reason to resort to, to violence.
I, uhh.
just came by, to pay you back that lunch money I "borrowed".
And I promise,
I'll never bother you again... !
Yes!
I sure showed him that I could take care of myself, eh, Lurch?
Come on.
Let's play "Pin the Tail on Pugsley."
You know Wednesday, I'm not going to let anyone push me around anymore.
Well, maybe.
Except for you!
That's our boy.
So, Fester.
What project are you turning that keen, scientific mind to, now?
I'm trying to recreate Dr. Sterling's Hair Growth Formula for Shampoo.
But I thought you enjoyed being bald?
Oh, I do.
But it tastes great.
Eureka!
I did it!
Sometimes, I even surprise myself.
Uh-oh.
Gomez?
Morticia?
A little help, please?
So what do you think, querida?
Slingshot or crossbow?
I have just the thing.
Nice shot!
Thanks.
Awoooooo... !