Tish!
Tish, please!
D'oh!
Tish!
Fester!
Good morning, Gomez.
I should have guessed!
The old gravity-switching gag.
Is it that time of year, already?
Happy Gotcha week!
Well, you're not gonna beat me at our Practical Joke War this year, Fester!
I think you have that...
upside down.
D'oh!
Nooo... !
Gotcha!
Uh oh!
Gomez.
Did you fall out of bed, again?
Now!
[ GOMEZ, TAKES GOLF BALL OUT OF HIS MOUTH ] Now remember, keep your eye on the ball.
Darling, what if I missed the ball and hit you?
Well, it still counts as a stroke.
Hole in one!
Excellent form, cara mia!
Now, let's try it blindfolded.
Children?
Why are you two off to school, so early?
How do you expect to get detention if you're on time?
We've got rehearsal for the school play today.
I get to be the witch.
Excellent.
I remember my first school play.
The story of George Washington.
I had a major supporting role.
The Cherry Tree.
"Ice cold foot bath"?
Boy, I can sure go for one of those right now.
This is gonna feel so good... !
Fester?
Gomez.
You're not still sore about my little practical joke, are you?
Just a little.
Feels good.
Say.
What are you doing with that sack of quick-drying cement?
You mean,
what was I doing with that sack of quick-drying cement?
Uhh, Gomez?
Gomez!
Gomez... !
There.
That should stifle any new growth, nicely.
Thank you, Lurch.
Oh, where's the honey?
Oh, allow me, querida!
Mmmn! This tea smells delicious, Lurch.
What have you done differently?
Swamp water.
Thank you, darling.
No trouble.
I guess the killer bees are feeling very homicidal today.
What on Earth is wrong?
They look like they just came back from the Icecapades!
The teacher said we can't be in the school play.
Why ever not?
She says we have to do it the way it's written or not at all.
But the plot is dry.
The characters are one-dimensional,
and the dialogue is lifeless and depressing.
A happy ending. A festival of fairy tales...
Oh, dear.
They're performing stories written by the Brothers Grimm.
I don't understand how those hacks can keep getting work.
Fair maidens poisoning witches?
Trolls being attacked by goats?
Knights slaying dragons?
The Inhumane Society is going to hear about this!
Boy, that Miss French sure can dash the hopes and dreams of her students.
Even if she doesn't mean well,
there's no excuse for this.
That quick-drying cement was a clever idea!
Of course, I would have thrown me in the moat, too.
I gotta admit, you got me.
Eh, eh, eh!
Thought I'd fall for the old "joy buzzer in the hand" trick, did you?
Nice try.
Ha ha ha!
Gotcha!
Morticia?
Have you seen the scissors?
Pugsley was running with them earlier.
Gomez?
I've been trying to find another play the school can perform.
But they're all filled with horrible, intolerant depictions of witches and goblins... !
Don't any of them recognize demons and monsters
for their courage in the face of prejudice?
Not a one.
Poor Wednesday.
She was so depressed she couldn't be a witch.
This is just the kind of painful and depressing blow
to her ego that might lead her into acting professionally!
What is it, Thing?
How vulgar... !
In this one, a young girl turns a perfectly good frog into a prince.
No wonder the school doesn't perform more suitable material.
It just simply doesn't exist.
There's only one thing left to do.
I shall write them a play~
Myself.
Don't let me disturb you.
I just came in for these.
Actually, I haven't started yet.
I never realized writing was so torturous.
Really?
May I watch?
Perhaps later.
I don't want any distractions.
I'm having trouble getting past my writer's block.
Oh, Lurch!
Could you help Mrs. Addams with her writer's block?
Thank you, Lurch.
Morticia!
Do you notice anything...
different about me?
As a writer, my senses are trained to observe
everything around me in the most minute detail.
You've waxed your head!
No, besides that.
You sharpened your teeth?
No... !
Besides that!
Well, perhaps you could give me a hint.
You had your nails done?
Morticia!
Look at my clothes!
They're too big... !
Well, maybe you should ask Lurch, if he's doing something different with the laundry?
Good idea.
Oh my goodness!
I'm shrinking!
I'm shrinking... !
So!
How's the childrens' play coming along?
I'm afraid it's not.
I can't seem to find my muse.
I need something... dramatic and extraordinary that will inspire me~
I'm shrinking... !
Ahhhhh... !
I guess I'll just have to face it.
Our lives are just... too ordinary.
Gomez! Gomez!
We have to call off this Practical Joke War.
Something terrible has happened.
What's the matter, old man?
I'm shrinking!
Don't be ridiculous!
You're just imagining things.
Have a seat and relax.
Oh no!
It's getting worse!
By jove, you're right!
I gotta get to the while there's still some of me left to stretch!
I'm shrinking!
I-I-I'm shrinking... !
More! More!
I think it's working!
According to this, you're 67 inches.
Wait a minute.
That's how tall I've always been.
But your coat appears to be six sizes too big.
My coat!
Gomez!
It's time to pull out the big guns!
I know!
'The curtain rises.'
Oh.
Hey Morticia,
how's the play comin' along?
It's not.
I can't seem to get started.
Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a writer.
Well, if you're having trouble with the beginning...
Why not start at the end?
That way, you'll already be finished.
It sounds perfectly illogical.
I'll try it.
Ready, Thing?
'The End.'
'And they all lived miserably ever after.'
Fester, you're a genius!
All in a day's work.
And if Gomez asks...
You didn't see me, right?
'And the happy singing elf,'
'was never heard from again.'
Hi, Gomez.
Hello, Fester.
Thing said you were looking for me.
My new camera arrived.
Can I take your picture?
Of course!
Make certain that you get my bad side.
Wait a minute.
I see what's going on here.
You plan on blinding me with a big flash, huh?
Your snares are becoming so transparent.
Click away, my novice competitor~
Say "Limburger".
... aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
Gotcha!
Have you seen Gomez?
I just finished my play, and I'd like him to read it.
Uhh, I think he went out for Chinese.
aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!
Chinese?
aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!
Whoa.
There you are, Gomez.
I finished my play!
That's wonderful, querida.
We should celebrate.
Anyone for a luau... ?
Thank you, Tommy.
But — !
Thanks.
But!
We'll let you know.
Miss French.
I'm afraid we'll have to cancel the play... !
The school board has...
cut the budget for Fine Arts.
The children will be so disappointed!
Oh, Miss French, Mr Principal, how nice to see you again.
There's something we'd like to talk to you about.
If it's about your children being in the play,
don't bother.
It's, I'm afraid it's been called off.
Budget cuts.
Money?
Is that all?
Will this help?
Indeed, it will!
What's the catch?
No catch.
We just want to make sure the children have a proper play to perform.
Deal.
I wrote it myself.
Give them whatever they want.
I'll just... make sure this gets to save... !
This. Is. Repulsive!
Gruesome... !
Dis... tasteful!
I told you, you'd like it!
What's my detonator doing out in the middle of the floor?
Gomez!
Gonna have to do a lot better than this!
Ooh, look.
An unlucky penny!
Gomez!
Just my luck.
All I caught was a big, fat bottom-feeder.
Ooohh, what do we have here~?
Uh-oh...
Gotcha.
Miss French.
Miss French!
How nice of you to stop by.
I was just working on my next play.
I'm afraid I have some bad news.
There isn't going to be a first play.
The parents think it's too violent.
Ooh, I'm flattered.
They refuse to allow their children to participate.
Wednesday and Pugsley are the only ones left,
and they couldn't possibly perform all the roles!
I'm afraid, we're going to have to cancel the production.
Ooh, there must be something we can do.
After all,
the show must go on~
Mrs Addams... !
Where would we find anyone to act in your play,
on such short notice?
Hmm...
Ooh.
The whole family is willing to do what it takes, to make this play a success.
We knew you'd be surprised.
That, wasn't the word I was looking for...
What do I get to be?
A handsome monster?
We need a tree.
Great.
You play a tree once,
and you're typecast for life!
Children, where are you going?
To rehearse the torture scene.
Torture scene?
I didn't write a torture scene.
Oh!
"La Première"
There's so many people... !
You can thank Fester for that.
It was his idea to raise the cost of the ticket price from $2 to $200.
Mr and Mrs Addams.
All those people paid that much money to see this play...?
Of course not.
We paid them.
Oh, Gomez, I'm so nervous!
Relax, cara mia.
There isn't a friendly face in the crowd.
What could possibly go wrong?
Presenting Hansel and Gretel, a play by Morticia Addams.
I know the path's around here, somewhere...
Ahhh, there you are!
Hansel and Gretel.
You witching little children.
It's time for me to eat you.
Mmmnn...
I remember you!
You...
'... kind and generous witch!'
You "blind" and "general" witch!
We're going to repay your charitable meals,
and comfortable lodging,
by burning you to cinder.
You think so, eh?
Give me your best shot.
You ungrateful... !
brr~rrats!
aaahhh!
Ow!
Scream nice and loud for the audience!
[ AUDIENCE, AGHAST ] Ohhh... !
Do not fear, fair people!
I have vanquished the happy singing elf, forever.
Author! Author!
Ohh, thank you!
Thank you!
Oh.
Merci.
Mon cher...
Tish.
I love it when you thank me in French.
De rien.
Gotcha!
Well, darling.
It looks like you broke down the house.
So what are you going to write next, Tish?
I've decided to give up writing, Gomez.
After all,
how could I ever top that production?
Oh, true.
The Principal called to say they've never received so many complaints~
Congratulations, Gomez.
You got the last laugh.
You're the new "Gotcha Week" Champion!
How nice of you to concede so graciously, Fester.
It'll make my gloating all the more enjoyable.
But!
If you don't mind,
I think I'll take that cigar.
Ahh, Fester.
You still haven't learned from the Master.
BOOM!
Gotcha.
Awooooooo... !