Mama, this is going to be your best cake ever!
Oh, I hope so.
I'm trying out a new recipe,
called 'Arsenic and Old Lace.'
I'm sure it'll be completely inedible!
And, don't worry.
It'll be ready by midnight.
Ahh, for our traditional celebration of the very hour my querida was born!
Gomez, I think we have a little problem with Morticia's surprise party.
She hasn't found out, has she!
Oh no, nothing like that.
I just got off the phone with the petting zoo.
It seems that they think 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey' is cruelty to animals.
Oh, well.
I guess we'll just have to play Electrical Chairs.
Alright.
Who wants to lick the machete?
I do, I do!
Heyy, I said it first!
I did!
Oh look, there's Morticia!
Not bad.
But could use a little more kick.
Now!
We'll have the quicksand here,
the hot coals here,
and the torture chamber will go over here.
How's that coming along, Wednesday?
Fine, Father.
We're experimenting with a variety of torture techniques.
Aren't we, Pugsley?
Yes.
Ow!
Well done, children!
Come, Pugsley.
We have a few minor adjustments to make.
And I've made an extra large batch, of acid punch,
guaranteed to strip the tarnish from anyone's stomach!
Mmmn~!
This is gonna be a great party!
It certainly is.
We mobilize at midnight.
How are we doing on the fireworks front, Fester?
A-OK, Cap'n!
We have seven kilos of TNT,
12 gallons of nitroglycerin,
94 barrels of gunpowder,
1,000 sticks of dynamite,
400 grenades,
200 sparklers,
bombs,
a six pack saddle,
snake venom,
six torpedo,
500 rocket launchers,
6,000 ...
You were right, Warren.
It's definitely a terrorist ring.
Yes, and a heartless ring at that.
Why, they have the audacity to call their little terrorist plot, a "party"!
There's only one thing to do.
I couldn't agree more.
Let's order Chinese... [ SKIMMING TAKE-OUT MENU ]
Don't you think we should report these activities to FBI headquarters, first?
Wait.
Does "mushu" sound good?
There's two tons of explosives.
A cruise missile.
300 smart bombs...
Uh-oh.
Quick!
Hide the evidence!
So it's all settled then!
We'll go spelunking.
Good idea.
It'll give me a chance to use this new bulb.
And I'll, um, help Wednesday...
catch some new spiders for her collection!
Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I didn't see you there.
And we were just making plans to, uh,
go exploring caves with the children, at midnight.
This midnight?
Why not?
It's not as though we have anything else planned.
Ah, there you are, Fester.
Ordering from kablast.com again?
Yeah.
I didn't think the 10,000 blasting caps was enough.
So I ordered another two dozen...
thousand!
Better unsafe than sorry!
Are you sure that Morticia doesn't suspect anything?
Of course not.
I happen to be the Master of Deception~
Ahhhh, there you are, Gomez!
You wouldn't happen to know if Black's Fifth Avenue has a website?
They have such wonderful gifts.
Really?
I had no idea.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm busy helping Fester with his...
homework!
Homework?
I mean, uh, uh, uh, hey!
Look what I can do!
Tadaaaa~!
There's something strange going on around here...
I like it.
Aaron.
He just ordered another 24,000 blasting caps.
I have to do something before someone gets hurt.
I'm...
going in.
Gomez must be hiding my birthday present, somewhere...
Huh?
Oh!
Oh.
Lurch, you startled me.
Thank you.
By the way, I was wondering,
does Gomez have anything planned for... midnight?
No...
Really?
Nothing at all?
I'll get it.
Oh.
Oh, dear...
Is it possible Gomez truly has forgotten my birthday?
Frank Warren.
I have a package for Fester Addams.
Some explosive merchandise.
Follow me.
Nobody touches the helmet!
Big guy.
Alright.
Let's see what we have here.
Going down?
"Children strength", my eye.
Hey, Gomez.
What do you think of these party favours?
A little tame, don't you think?
Here, Fester, you give it a try.
Delivery.
Frank Warren,
kablast.com.
We wanted to deliver your package personally,
out of gratitude for your frequent purchases.
Wow!
Now that's what I call service!
Mr Addams?
I've heard about your little... party.
And I want in.
Excellent!
What can you do?
I'm an explosives expert.
Terrific!
The more the scarier.
Not so fast, Gomez.
How do we know you're really an expert?
Perhaps...
this,
will convince you.
Ooh.
Plastic explosive... !
Excellent vintage.
Let's see how it works.
Ooh... !
Well, Fester, what d'you think?
Welcome to the team.
A pinch of cyanide.
A dash of anthrax.
And one... drop...
of Mad Cow Serum.
What's this for?
For the party? What else?
What are you going to do? Poison the water supply?
Among other things.
Get back in there!
You're not done, yet!
Wednesday, what are you giving Mother for her birthday?
Cool.
You're bronzing your baby shoes.
Actually, I was thinking of bronzing something bigger.
How big?
About...
five feet.
Whew.
Good thing I'm only four foot eleven...
I can work with that.
Ahhh, Wednesday... !
I don't think this is such a good idea.
Oooh, that's got to hurt.
"Stop struggling!"
"But I don't wanna be Mother's birthday present!"
"It'll be from both of us."
Now hold still, or we won't be finished in time.
That's some technique you've got there.
And you are... ?
I'm a... friend of your Uncle's.
Uncle Fester doesn't have any friends.
That are alive.
Well, I'm here to help him with... the party.
So, uh...
Where's it at?
It's out...! side... !
Please excuse my brother.
He's been stretching himself a bit thin, lately.
Wednesday, am I five feet, yet?
Why, she's... breathtaking.
Hello.
I'm Morticia Addams.
Wank Fard. Uh... [ REMOVES TWIG-COVERED HELMET ]
Frank Ward.
Fester's friend.
Pleasure to meet you, Mr Warren.
Your hand.
So cold and... clammy.
Oh, my! Aren't you a charmer!
Her eyes.
So dark.
Please, do sit down.
Why... thank you.
It's hard to believe anyone so sweet...
and innocent.
Could be involved.
Involved?
Involved in what?
Mr Warren, is there something going on I don't know about?
It's better you don't know about their nefarious criminal den.
Ooh, then they are planning something.
Yes.
Some kind of... [ SCREAMS, CHAIR suddenly YANKED BACK ]
aaaaaaaahhhhhh!
Oof.
Warren!
What do you think you're doing?
Talking to that dark, mysterious woman.
You mean Gomez's dark, mysterious wife?
Your wife?
Yes.
And she knows nothing of the party.
We've kept her completely in the dark.
That's why she's so pale.
If she were to discover what we're up to,
all our plans will be ruined!
You do know how to keep a secret, don't you, Warren?
What are you doing?
Get out of there!
It's not safe!
Frog One.
This is That Bull.
Come in.
Hey, Warren. Just a second.
Run away!
Get the heck outta there... !
He's right behind you!
Told you so.
Yeah, Warren, what is it?
I'm in love.
With one of the terrorists?
She's the only one who's not involved.
But the rest of the family, whoa.
I know, I saw the little torture girl.
These people are plotting something,
and it's bigger than we imagined.
You want me to call for backup?
I don't have all the information yet.
As soon as I get all the details,
I'll get back to ya.
Alright.
I'm here if you need me.
Ahh, Warren. You're just in time!
We want to show you something.
Is this for the party?
Are you kidding?
We're bringing out the big guns for that.
Are we on schedule?
Everything's ready for midnight.
The only thing we haven't figured out is
how we're going to handle Morticia.
I know.
Why don't we let Warren take care of her?
Capital idea!
What do you say, Warren? Are you up for the job?
Take care of Morticia?
I... couldn't do that.
Come on, Warren, old man. You're perfect.
She'll never suspect it coming from you.
You just get her out into the cemetery and BAM!
We'll take care of the rest.
Mr. Addams,
you're asking me to lead a lamb to the slaughter.
A sweet, beautiful lamb.
Exactly.
Tish'll never know what hit her.
I must save her.
But how?
Hello.
My goodness, you look like you've seen a ghost.
Probably Aunt Minerva.
Listen.
You have to get out of here.
Away from these... people.
Why would I leave my family?
Morticia.
There's something about your so-called family.
You have to know.
They mean to do you harm.
Grave, bodily harm.
Oh, they did find my gift list.
Please tell me, what else are they planning?
Perhaps a little mice cream and cake?
This is serious.
It's not like they're throwing you a birthday party.
They're not?
I have to take care of some things. I'll... come back for you.
Oh, Gomez...
How could you forget?
Simon.
This is Garfunkel.
I... don't have all the details yet.
But I believe they're gonna do in the woman of the house.
And, oh...
What a woman!
Hey, look, it's Warren!
And he's talking into his helmet!
I'll take Morticia to a safe place.
I'll tell her everything.
And then the surprise will be...
on them.
Warren,
we thought you were on our side!
Your helmet cam, please!
Oh, boy.
What do I do now?
I've got to check the manual. [ KISSES TOY, SETS IT DOWN ]
"Warren, you're about to find out what we do to traitors."
Sorry.
I say we hang the snitch by his toes,
fill his socks full of sand,
and beat him senseless with a rusty waffle iron... !
Now, Fester, I'm sure Warren will be happy to tell us his very good reasons, for sabotaging our plans.
If we just ask him nicely.
Oh, right.
Alright, alright.
I, I couldn't do it.
I couldn't bring myself to turn her over to you.
You, you scoundrels!
Why didn't you say so?
No, God... !
Help... !
You rang?
Lurch, would you please escort Mrs Addams to the cemetery, at midnight?
Oh, no! Oh!
I, I'll do it!
Don't, don't, don't turn her over to this monster... !
Dispatch.
This is Special Agent Halloran.
I need a SWAT team at 1313 Cemetery Lane, right away!
Sorry, wrong number.
Gomez!
What are you getting dressed up for?
Uh, dressed up, what do you mean?
Why, you're wearing your good hat.
Oh, oh, that, why, uh, I...
I'm getting, uh, ready for a very special occasion.
Ooh. You do remember, darling!
Of course!
It's "Guess the Theme" Night at the Model Railroad Club.
I better get going.
I don't want to miss the hanging.
Oh, one more thing.
Yes?
Mr Warren was hoping you'd show him your nocturnal man-eating plants in the cemetery.
Mr Warren?
Yes, he'll meet you in the foyer just before midnight.
Don't you want to see me at midnight?
Why?
I see you every night.
Oh.
Ahh.
Mr Warren.
I understand you wanted to see my... carnivorous flora.
Uhh.
Yeah.
It appears we'll have the cemetery all to ourselves.
My family seems to have made...
other plans.
Stay close to me, and...
no one will hurt you.
When I give the signal,
get down on the ground.
Mr Warren, I'm a married woman!
Ahh!
This is it!
I love you, Morticia.
Surprise!
[ FAMILY, IN UNISON ] Unhappy birthday~!
Oh, I can't believe it.
Ooh.
Oh.
You remembered after all!
You mean... the party?
There's really a party?
Of course!
Oh, Gomez.
I thought you'd forgotten.
Ooh!
Tear gas!
A nice touch, Fester!
I didn't order any... [ TRAILS OFF, CRYING ]
We've got you surrounded!
Don't make a move!
Oh, Gomez! A seige!
You thought of everything~
This is the FBI.
You're all under arrest.
[ WARREN STUMBLES IN, SOBBING ] It was all a mistake!
What do you mean a mistake?
It's not a terrorist plot.
It's a surprise party.
Party?
Is there cake?
Right over here.
Yummy.
Aren't you gonna blow those out?
Why would you wanna do that?
Morticia, I have an apology to make. I...
ruined your birthday and I destroyed your backyard.
Haaah.
It woulda happened anyway.
With or without you!
Hey, this isn't so bad.
And this one is from Wednesday...
Wednesday, it's remarkable!
So life-like.
Yes.
You've certainly captured your brother.
You could say that.
[ PUGSLEY, MUFFLED ] Lemme out... !
Now, Tish.
One last present.
From all of us.
Fester, if you please.
Why, they're beautiful.
And lethal.
Unhappy Birthday Morticia
Unhappy birthday, darling.
Awooooo... !