(? Theme from "The Twilight Zone"?)
(heartbeat)
MR. SCHLESINGER, IT'S MORNING.
(alarm sounding)
Doll: It's 6:00 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time.
Rise and shine, Barney, dear.
? Get up, get up, you sleepyhead?
? Get up, get up... ?
TOO LOUD, HONEY.
AND TOO LATE.
FOR MOST OF US, OUR HEART'S DESIRE
SEEMS TO LIE BEHIND A BOLTED DOOR.
BUT WHAT IF THE LIVES WE FIND SO FAMILIAR
WERE SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAM COME TRUE?
PERHAPS, FOR ALL OF US, SOMEWHERE IS A HIDDEN DOOR
INTO THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
OH, SHUT UP.
ISN'T THIS THE TIME OF DAY WHEN PEOPLE ARE SHOT?
MORNING.
RISE AND SHINE.
STILL DEAD, HUH?
WELL, I TRIED.
I OUGHT TO GET A LAWYER.
MORNING, HONEY.
IF IT ISN'T THE CREATURE WHO LIVES IN THE BASEMENT.
CLEANING IT UP, I HOPE.
KATIE, MY GIRL, MY GIRL,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT'S ALIVE. BIG DEAL.
NO, IT'S NOT.
BARNEY, I MAY HAVE BEEN BORN WITH A BLACK THUMB,
BUT I CAN TELL A LIVE PLANT FROM A DEAD ONE.
THAT ONE'S ALIVE.
TECHNICALLY IT'S NOT, BECAUSE I MADE IT.
RATHER THAN WATERING THINGS ALL DAY,
YOU JUST WIND IT UP LIKE THIS.
OH, GREAT.
ANOTHER PRACTICAL INVENTION
FROM THE MIND OF BARNEY SCHLESINGER.
TOO BAD YOU DON'T APPLY THAT MUCH EFFORT
TO YOUR JOB.
IT ONLY TOOK ME ABOUT FIVE NIGHTS.
IT TOOK GOD SIX DAYS.
BUT HE MADE THE ORIGINAL.
YOU JUST MADE A COPY, BARNEY.
I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU DON'T WANT THIS UP HERE?
SHOULDN'T YOU BE GETTING READY FOR WORK?
I'LL TAKE THAT AS A NO.
NOBODY NEEDS COPIES, BARNEY.
TELL THAT TO XEROX.
(train whistle blows)
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A GIFT.
I THOUGHT SHE'D LIKE IT.
WHY SHOULD KATIE LIKE IT?
SHE CAN'T KILL IT.
COME ON, FACE IT, BARN.
YOU GOT A BLUE-SKY MIND.
MARCONI COULD HAVE LEARNED THINGS FROM YOU.
YOUR TIMING JUST ISN'T RIGHT.
YOU'RE A LITTLE, I DON'T KNOW...
OUT OF STEP.
I THOUGHT THAT MOUSE MISSILE THING HAD REAL POSSIBILITIES.
IT WAS DEADLY.
YEAH.
EXCEPT THE EXPLOSION
LEFT LITTLE MOUSE PARTS ALL OVER THE PLACE.
PEOPLE PREFER THEIR NICE, NEAT TRAPS, I GUESS.
YOU GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP?
MM-HMM.
FOUR SOLID HOURS A NIGHT.
YOU SEE, BARN, THAT'S NO GOOD.
YOU CAN'T GET ANYWHERE BY WORKING YOURSELF TO DEATH.
HAVING THOSE DREAMS AGAIN?
EVERY NIGHT FOR THE PAST WEEK.
WHAT WAS IT THIS TIME— A GARDEN PARTY?
OR JUST EXAMINING YOUR COLLECTION OF FINE...?
JUST WAKING UP, THAT'S ALL.
WHO'S WAKING UP— YOU OR THE GUY IN THE DREAM?
ME.
HIM.
THE BOTH OF US.
MILT, EVER SINCE I WAS A KID,
I'VE FELT I WAS LIVING IN TWO WORLDS AT THE SAME TIME.
TWO WORLDS THAT ARE KIND OF SIDE BY SIDE
BUT VERY DIFFERENT, YOU KNOW?
THIS IS GETTING CONFUSING.
SO, ENJOY THE FANTASY.
AT LEAST YOU GOT THAT MUCH.
YEAH, BUT IT'S HAPPENING EVERY NIGHT LATELY,
AND I'M JUST WORRIED.
DO YOU THINK MAYBE I'M LOSING MY MIND?
YOU? COME ON, BARN.
NICE DAY, MR. SCHLESINGER.
AREN'T THEY ALL, STEVE?
MAY I ASK YOU A QUESTION, SIR?
A LITTLE INSIDE INFORMATION?
TRIMBOLINE SPLITS AT 50.
I WANT YOU TO STICK WITH US.
THANK YOU.
(thunder crashing)
SORRY I'M LATE.
I SUPPOSE YOU'RE EXPECTING DINNER?
OH, SURE. DINNER.
NO. LET'S TALK FIRST, SHALL WE?
YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T DISTURB MY WORKSHOP.
NO, YOU PROMISED ME YOU'D CLEAN IT UP.
BARNEY, THIS STUFF HAS BEEN DOWN HERE SINCE WE MOVED IN.
LOOK AT IT.
LOOK AT US.
IT'S JUST WRONG.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT, HONEY.
I'LL JUST...
I'LL CLEAN THIS STUFF UP.
I KNOW WE CAN START OVER FRESH
AND YOU CAN STOP WORKING ON THESE STUPID INVENTIONS.
THEY'RE NOT STUPID.
EVEN IF THEY WERE,
I DON'T THINK I COULD STOP.
MY MIND JUST WORKS THAT WAY.
THEN LET YOUR MIND WORK ON THIS:
IF YOU WANT TO SLEEP IN MY BED,
YOU'LL CLEAN THIS UP TONIGHT.
SOME CHOICE.
(alarm sounds)
Doll: It's 8:00, Barney. Dear. Let's play.
? Blue moon, you left me standing alone... ?
WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?
HMM. GOOD OLD MOUSE MISSILE.
(muffled laughter)
I MUST BE GOING CRAZY.
(explosion)
Woman: BARNEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
YOUR PARTNER WANTS TO MAKE ANOTHER TOAST.
COMING.
I'LL BE RIGHT UP.
HURRY.
(chamber music playing)
UH... HERE I AM.
Woman: THERE YOU ARE.
WE THOUGHT YOU DISAPPEARED.
WELL, WE MADE IT.
YOU'RE ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE BUSINESS SECTION.
BARNEY SCHLESINGER, PRESIDENT OF TRIMBOLINE ENTERPRISES...
AND HIS PARTNER, MILTON BAUMSEY...
HAVE ANNOUNCED THE DEVELOPMENT OF TRIMBOLINE THREE.
THEN THERE'S BORING HISTORY
ABOUT BARNEY AND HIS EARLIER WONDER SUBSTANCES
BEFORE WE GET TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER.
"TRIMBOLINE THREE IS A SUPER FUEL
"WHICH ALLOWS THE AUTOMOBILE TO ATTAIN SPEEDS
"AS GREAT AS 60 MILES PER HOUR,
"WITH A FUEL EFFICIENCY OF 100 MILES PER GALLON.
"SCHLESINGER FURTHERCLAIMS
"THAT TRIMBOLINE-POWERED AUTOMOBILES WILL REPLACE
THE HORSE IN A FEW YEARS."
I GET THE IMPRESSION, ONCE AGAIN, THEY ARE SKEPTICAL.
AND, ONCE AGAIN, THEY WILL LEARN
BARNEY SCHLESINGER IS A MANAHEAD OF HIS TIME.
WELL, LET'S HOPE SO.
A TOAST.
WELL...
TO MY BEST FRIEND
AND PARTNER,
WHOSE INVENTIONS HAVE MADE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE,
AND ALL OF US A LITTLE RICHER.
Ladies: HEAR! HEAR!
ALL RIGHT.
WOULD YOU CARE TO DANCE, OLD FRIEND?
YEAH.
SURE.
SOMETIMES I WISH I'D BEEN BORN A MAN.
DANCING ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE SUCH FUN.
DON'T BE SILLY.
WE WEREN'T BUILT FOR IT.
MEN'S LEGS ARE SO MUCH STRONGER.
WE HAVE OTHER TALENTS.
ISN'T IT HIGH TIME YOU MADE AN HONEST MAN
OF THE LOVELY MR. SCHLESINGER?
PROPOSE TO BARNEY?
WELL, I MUST ADMIT
THE THOUGHT HAS CROSSED MY MIND.
HE'S SO SUCCESSFUL AND INTELLIGENT.
HE'S SUCH A CUTE DANCER.
BUT, YOU KNOW, WHEN HE'S WITH ME,
I'M NEVER REALLY SURE HE'S WITH ME.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
ANOTHER WOMAN?
YOU KNOW HOW MEN ARE.
THANK YOU FOR A LOVELY EVENING, BARNEY,
IN SPITE OF THE WEATHER.
THE CARRIAGES ARE HERE, LADIES.
MR. BAUMSEY.
HURRY ALONG, MILT.
YOU ALL RIGHT, FRIEND?
YOU SEEM DISTANT TONIGHT.
A LITTLE TIRED, MAYBE.
THOSE DREAMS AGAIN?
DREAMS?
YOUR DREAMS—
WHERE YOU LIVE IN THE WORLD NEXT DOOR.
A WORLD WHERE YOU ARE FREED FROM THESE RESPONSIBILITIES—
ALL THIS FAME AND ACCLAIM.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU FIND SO ATTRACTIVE ABOUT IT.
IT MUST SEEM PRETTY RIDICULOUS, I GUESS.
FROM THE DETAILS YOU'VE TOLD ME,
IT SOUNDS... FASCINATING
IN A HORRIBLE SORT OF WAY.
BARNEY, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK—
AM I IN THOSE DREAMS?
OH, YES. YES, YOU ARE.
AM I STILL YOUR PARTNER?
MILT, I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT, IN THOSE DREAMS,
YOU'RE STILL MY BEST FRIEND.
THEN I'M HAPPY IN EITHER WORLD.
STAY HERE, BARNEY.
WE NEED YOU AS YOU ARE.
WILL THAT BE ALL FOR TODAY, MR. SCHLESINGER?
UH... YEAH.
GREAT, FINE.
THANK YOU.
TOO BAD YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP.
(knocking)
(pounding)
I'M SORRY TO DISTURB YOU ON A NIGHT LIKE THIS,
BUT MY CARRIAGE BROKE DOWN AND MY HORSE RAN OFF.
KATIE?
HAVE WE MET?
NO, NO. I DON'T BELIEVE SO.
BUT YOU KNOW MY NAME.
YOU LOOK LIKE A KATIE.
OH.
PLEASE, GO AHEAD AND SIT DOWN
WHILE I FIND THE BUTLER.
UH... JEEVES?
MORGAN!
HENRY!
COMING, SIR.
(laughter)
I'VE DRIVEN BY THIS HOUSE
EVERY DAY AND NIGHT
FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS.
REALLY?
I ALWAYS WONDERED WHO LIVED HERE.
IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME TO SUSPECT IT WOULD BE
THE FAMOUS BARNEY SCHLESINGER.
I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS THAT FAMOUS.
WOULD IT BE IMPERTINENT IF I ASKED YOU A QUESTION?
NO. I CAN'T SEE HOW?
WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR IDEAS FOR THOSE FABULOUS INVENTIONS?
Henry: EXCUSE ME, MR. SCHLESINGER.
THE BLACKSMITH HAS REPAIRED MADAM'S CARRIAGE.
THANK YOU, HENRY.
MADAM'S GARMENT HAS BEEN CLEANED
AND AWAITS HER IN THE GUEST ROOM.
WELL, I SHOULD GET DRESSED.
BUT...
Katie: OH, BARNEY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I'D JUST ABOUT GIVEN UP.
ALMOST FINISHED, HON.
I DON'T MIND YOUR SPENDING TIME HERE MAKING THINGS
IF YOU'D JUST STRAIGHTEN UP.
(mouths:) GO.
(mouths:) BYE.
GOOD LUCK, BARNEY.
I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH
FOR YOUR KINDNESS.
NO, NO. MY PLEASURE.
A LITTLE GOING-AWAY GIFT FROM ME TO YOU.
OH, HOW WONDERFUL.
WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU FIND AN ORCHID AT THIS TIME OF YEAR?
NO, IT'S MECHANICAL.
SEE? I MADE IT.
YOU MADE IT?
I'M HOLDING A BARNEY SCHLESINGER ORIGINAL.
YES.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I'LL TREASURE IT.
MR. SCHLESINGER?
JUST CALL ME BARNEY
PLEASE.
WOULD YOU THINK ME FORWARD
IF I CALLED ON YOU ONE EVENING SOON?
KATIE, MY GIRL.
YOU CAN FIND ME HERE EVERY NIGHT FROM NOW ON.
UM... HENRY?