Ugh.
Did I drool on ya?
I don't mind.
See ya later.
I'm fuckin' starving.
We could share a candy.
Dipstix?
There's only one dip stick.
I don't wanna give you my spit germs.
Too late.
How about these?
Nah, they got that coconut asshole taste.
They got Sour Straws. Those split easy.
Yeah, grab 'em.
Holy shit.
What?
They got free coffee.
And little milks.
That's creamer, ya dummy.
Tastes good, though.
Ugh.
Maybe it's too hot for coffee.
Fuckin' Florida.
Hey, you should get some shorts.
I don't wear shorts.
- Ever? - Never.
What do you wear at the beach?
I don't know. I ain't never been to the beach.
At least not as a bigger person.
What'd you wear when you were a littler person?
Pants.
Okay. How far is the beach?
We're going. Pants or no pants.
They got maps.
All right. Looks like the beach is this far.
How far is this?
- Pretty far. - But once we get that car...
Whoo! Come on, fuckers.
Eh, grab a 30 rack and 'em Flamin' Hots.
Oh, and grab an ice bag. I'mma get the blunt wraps.
Yeah.
About to eat mint chocolate chip and get high as fuck.
Oh.
Go right ahead.
Eh!
Gimme them Grape Swishy Boys.
You gonna pay for them this time?
How about, you be the Swishy Boys gettin' motherfucker
and shut the fuck up?
Come on.
Sour.
Here.
You want some coffee?
What the fuck?
Better clean that shit off my car, bitch.
Your car?
Fuck's askin'?
Last chance, motherfucker.
Clean it.
Man, there's no way you can chug a beer in two seconds.
Not in my mouth.
Would you two stop butt chuggin' in my fuckin' house?
You're lucky ice melts.
What the fuck was that?
My dad's car.
Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?
That... That's the car?
The one that's drivin' away?
It was gold.
You never told me it was fuckin' gold.
What the fuck?
What are we gonna do?
We gonna go get it, or what?
Oh, my God. What the fuck?
I cannot believe you let that car get away.
Came all the way to fuckin' Florida for you to let that fuckin' car get away.
How the hell are we gonna find 'em now?
Let's go.
Check it. Those twins posted something. Look.
Hey, I'm driving.
Richmond Hill Hospital, where's that?
I'm guessing somewhere around Richmond Hill.
And that's an hour and a half drive behind us.
Well, good. That means we're that much closer to Florida
than those Neanderthals.
We're comin' for ya, Wayne!
Hey! You can't yell at the driver.
Jeez.
This hospital's hashtag got some wild shit on it.
Damn.
This used to be a dude's face, look.
Hey! Get that out of my fucking face!
I'm fucking driving, Orlando! Jesus Christ!
You're gonna fucking kill both of us!
Shoot.
Three fucks and the Lord's name in vain. What's wrong with you?
I'm sorry, bud.
I'm starvin'.
Why is nothin' open?
Maybe because we're in the Bible Belt on a Sunday?
Nothing's open.
I gotta eat soon.
Once my blood sugar dips,
I'm just not my usual fun lovin' self.
Look, if you get tired, I could drive.
You're not driving.
All right, look. You need a hot meal at any time of the day, guaranteed?
There's only one place for you to go.
A strip club? You want me to eat food in a strip club?
There is zero chance I'm going in there.
And even less of a chance you are.
It's not funny, Orlando. I told you about my blood sugar.
I'm serious, I'm hungry.
And you bring me to a strip club.
Jesus.
Are they making ribs in there?
I think the strip club has a smoker.
Hey!
All right. All right.
Just real quick. We'll just go in quick.
Oh, man.
Gotta admit, it's pretty cool.
All right, here's what we're gonna do.
It's an old car, so I can hot-wire it.
You get in the passenger side, lay low while I sneak around, fire it up.
We'll be out of here before they can say, "What the fuck?"
Wayne?
Yeah.
Hot-wire.
Wayne, what're you doing?
Wayne.
Oh, shit. It's coffee boy.
- Yo, whatchoo doin' with our beers, homie? - Fucker.
Hey, you touch one more beer, I'm gonna kick your ass, bro.
It's tea time, motherfucker.
Wayne.
- Little bitch. - Let's get this fucking party started!
Come on, Chamomile, show him what Ocala all about.
You fucked up now, coffee boy.
Shouldn't have done that, bitch.
You got knocked the fuck out!
I never dropped your beer.
What the fuck?
Shit.
Oh, fuck!
Who the fuck you think you is?
Hey.
Hey!
What the fuck is goin' on?
Holy fucking shit.
Well, you look just like your father.
Isn't this nice, hmm?
Everybody sitting together, like family supper.
There's fruit in the salad.
Yeah, I know, it's, um, part of that food pyramid or whatever.
You know, maybe it's good that the party was canceled
because it's just more for us.
That's right.
And I don't know why I'm always feeding those animals anyway.
Those are my friends, Mama.
Well, one of your "friends" took a dump in my nice plant pot.
- Mama? - Mmm.
Can you cut the meat off my ribs?
- What? - You know you do it like I like.
Oh, come on.
What's the matter with you?
Cutting meat for you, weirdo.
He come outta you?
Huh? Him? No. This is Calvin's boy from before.
Reggie comes out of what I call an "Fd up relationship."
I Fd up and had relations with someone after too many tallboys.
Oh, my God.
Well, it must a relief he's not yours.
No offense.
None taken.
Hey, coffee boy,
got lucky today.
Almost got took'd out by Chamomile.
Why do you call him Chamomile?
'Cause he puts motherfuckers to sleep.
- I'm still awake. - For now.
Wow. Does anybody want more potato salad?
'Cause it's so good, it's very fancy,
it's got the skin still on, it's got those tiny little green...
Oh, my God. I'm sorry, do you not care
how your son's been doing for the past 11 goddamn years?
Has it been 11 goddamn years?
Really?
You know, I noticed you was taller.
Oh, yeah, since he was five? That's kinda how it works.
- Hey. - Okay, that was a joke.
And I thought it was good.
- Stop. - You know what?
You should really stop laying out in the sun.
Your orange skin's distractin' me
from your one fake tit that's bigger than the other fake tit.
- All right. - What the fuck?
- Calm down. - You think ya better than me?
- Do you think you're better than me? - Hey. Shh.
- Calm... - Dad's dead.
Cancer. From his job.
Yeah, he always worked too much.
I told him. I said, "Those... Those fumes, they're gonna get ya."
Which worked out in my favor.
Just saying.
Well, may he rest in peace.
Right?
Who wants dessert? Everybody saving room?
'Cause I got Entenmanns.
Fuckin' A.
- Mama? - What?
Can you get me some more Hi-C, please?
Sure.
Right.
Hi.
You ain't gettin' in here, little man.
I'm Krystal's kid.
Fifteen bucks.
I'm Krystal's accountant.
Then write that shit off.
Can I get a receipt?
It was just a joke.
Just a little accountant humor.
There you go.
Good day.
How did you know there was gonna be a Krystal?
Dude, there's always a Krystal.
I see you, baby.
Oh, yeah! I love it!
These places, they never made sense to me.
You got all these women.
- They get their clothes off. - Mmm-hmm.
Okay? They never ever would do it with you.
And you pay them your money, you get up,
you go home, you're all worked up.
It's like payin' a restaurant to smell the food.
Dude, could you just shut up and enjoy the nekkid?
What's "the nekkid"?
The nekkid, you know?
Look, there's the buffet.
"The naked."
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Few rules.
- Never take the top plate. - Yeah.
- Always use the tongs. - Yeah, yeah.
- And never get the last of anything. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's always a fresh batch on its way.
Uh-huh. Yeah.
Ow!
Hey. What'd I just say?
I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
Well, that was fuckin' delightful.
What are we still doing here?
She made us supper.
Oh, yeah, mother of the fuckin' year.
Now, can we please take the car and get the hell out of here?
There you fuckin' is.
Hey, you wanna see something?
Depends what it is.
It's my birthday present.
I'm taking your boyfriend.
Come on, bitch. Hurry up.
Oh.
You two go play nice, huh?
Yes, Mama.
I could use some help with the dishes in there.
Oh, okay. You want me to go get your husband or whatever he is?
Yeah, sure.
If it ain't a car or my tits, he ain't puttin' his hands on it.
Thanks for that picture.
I'll tell you something else.
Ever since I started wearing these rubber gloves to do dishes,
my nails, they just don't break so much.
- Oh, is that right? - Yeah, and I used to be a manicurist.
Hey, you know how everyone thinks that their toes are the most disgusting?
- Well, they're right. - Oh, wow, that's a great story, Maureen.
Maybe they'll make a movie out of it.
But what was my worst job?
Let's see.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing?
There's nothing wrong with that thing.
I made that. Yeah.
Jesus.
I did. I took a pottery class at the rec center.
And I thought it was gonna be like Ghost.
But you know what?
I didn't see a single Patrick Swayze.
So I quit.
I didn't need that.
That shit's harder than it looks.
What's hard? Showing up?
What?
Aw, look at you. You got a mouth on you. You know what?
You know who you remind me of? Me.
Oh, yeah? You remind me of my Aunt Linda.
Oh, yeah? She liked to make pottery?
No, she liked to make meth.
Also left the family. Then she blew herself up in a shitty trailer.
I don't gotta explain myself to you.
Yeah, you're right.
I ain't the one you gotta explain anything to.
Well,
he seemed like he turned out just fine.
You don't know anything about him.
My life was very complicated back then.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Everybody's life is fucking complicated.
You know? It don't make it right.
You runnin' out on your family.
Oh, yeah?
Where's your family?
Whoops.
I'm just fuckin' with you.
Here she is.
She's a beauty.
Did some head work to get the horsepower over 325.
One of the few gas guzzlers left.
Till all of them fuckin' hippies got all uppity about the environment.
Fuckin' hippies.
It's a relic from another era.
Plus the backseat's good to do the fuckin' in.
So, Wayne,
- you come all this way just to have a salad with fruit in it? - Hmm?
You like cars?
Certain ones.
Know anything about 'em?
Certain ones.
Well, this one runs hot.
Real hot.
- You don't want it to overheat. - Mmm-mmm.
Top it off.
You know, Reg, I actually got this car from Wayne's old man.
No shit.
He loved it.
But it just became too much for him to handle.
Damn.
Not what I heard.
Oh, yeah? What'd you hear?
That you stole it.
- "Stole." - "Stole."
That don't sound right.
Seeing as though I got the title
and the keys.
Oh, shit.
Thanks, Daddy.
Well, I got a bunch of postcards
with a picture of a dickhead and his stupid mustache on 'em.
Fuck!
Hey, keep your punk bitch-ass hands off my baby.
You're out of coolant, dickhead.
Daddy, I... I will whip that boy's ass...
Shut the fuck up, Reggie.
What happened?
Ah, don't worry. Nothing broke but this ugly bowl.
Hey, I got it. I got it.
I don't mind.
No pics of you up there.
You're so stupid.
I got more pictures, you know,
of you, from when you was little.
Come on. Yeah.
That's one ugly-ass fish.
Does it sing a song or somethin'?
Oh. No, that's real.
I mean, it was real.
The boys caught it. They love noodling.
What the fuck is "noodling"?
Oh, wait, I don't care.
Ah! Ka-blam.
Here we go.
C'mere, handsome.
Look how cute you were.
Still is.
How's a baby get a shiner?
Gave it to himself. Yeah.
Took your father's hammer,
went after your Big Wheel, tried to bash it.
Took one swing at that big plastic tire
and the hammer bounces back. Bam. Right in the eye.
Maybe somebody should've been watchin' him.
You loved to carry that hammer everywhere.
I... I never understood why you loved it so much,
but maybe 'cause it had your father's name scratched into the handle, I think.
And my name.
Yeah.
Yeah, sweetie, I know. You wiseass.
Remember this?
When your brother tried to dress you up like a clown?
But instead of using makeup,
he used nail polish.
Huh?
And not the cheap stuff, not the Wet n Wild.
Like, the pricey shit.
I went apeshit when I came home and saw what he did to you.
Took a whole bottle of acetone just to get that off.
Must have burned like hell.
That was the crazy part.
I'm just rubbin' this nail polish remover all over his face
and he's just sitting there, lookin' up at me, smiling.
Didn't cry once.
You used nail polish remover on his face?
Well, the rubbin' alcohol didn't work.
Doesn't matter.
You still got a nice face underneath all them bruises and shit.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Your hair smells so terrible.
It's okay.
Let's get you some, uh, shampoo and some bathroom shit, you know.
Acetone-free, I promise. Come on.
I hate it.
Look, they got that shower gel that's got mangoes.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
You know, we already got shower gel.
It ain't all tutti-frutti, but, you know, it'll do.
What are we doin' here?
Shoppin', I guess?
Yeah, I know. I can see that, but...
Wayne, you gotta come see this.
How stupid is this shirt?
"Saturyays"? Fuck you.
You know what? Your father sees somebody in this shirt,
he'd beat his ass.
I'd beat my own ass.
Ah, yeah, you would.
Oh, my God.
You got the exact same smile as him.
Double line here, single line there.
Oh, I used to love that smile.
Till he went and got all his teeth knocked out
at that hockey game in Taunton.
You know, your father was a real hothead.
Yeah.
We gotta take a picture.
We do. We gotta do it. Uh...
Hey, Del, take my phone. C'mon.
Here we go.
Mmm!
Cheese.
Oops, cut your head off.
Well, take another one.
Okay, here we go.
Mwah.
Aw. My finger's in the photo.
- Hmm? - I'm not takin' another one.
Mmm...
Me and my handsome boy.
I mean, I look like garbage, but whatever.
No, I do. Still, this one's goin' on the fridge.
For sure. Definitely.
All right. While you're in Florida, gotta get your shorts, right? Come on.
- Wayne don't ever wear shorts... - Okay.
Really?
Shorts?
What do you think?
It's got pockets. It's good, right?
- Okay. - Got a... Comes with a belt.
Yeah? I mean, these...
Yeah.
Hey, Stacey, let me know if I'm in your way.
By the way,
I really appreciate how you spelled out the alphabet
with your body up there on the pole.
I was an educator. It's not lost on me.
Where's the kid?
I said, where's the motherfuckin' kid?
I know, I was taught not to speak with my mouth full.
Maybe you could learn some manners.
- Motherfucker. I'll fucking fuck you up. - Hey!
How's that for manners?
Uh, needs some work. What'd the kid do?
That little shit charged a round of drinks and a cash advance in my fuckin' name.
Oh, uh... Hey, Krystal.
I haven't seen you since your last tax appointment.
By the way, I have some documents I need you to sign in the car.
Bitch, I don't fuckin' know you.
I don't know you or that stupid-ass kid,
egg-headed motherfucker.
Where is he?
I... I don't...
Where's the fuckin' kid?
- I don't know. - Say again?
Yo, the little motherfucker's in the champagne room.
- What? - What?
And I got you some tighty-whities.
What? Don't be shy.
There's no shame in having clean drawers.
Excuse me, miss. I need to check the young lady's bag.
Why? What's the problem?
This girl was stealing.
What?
Beard oil?
Uh... Okay. I'm sure there's some misunderstanding.
She obviously ain't got no beard. Yet.
Sorry, ma'am. We got it on camera.
They got it on camera.
Why you break my heart like this, huh?
Oh, God.
Kids do such dumb shit.
I mean, I know I did when I was her age.
Fifteen, right?
Who isn't totally screwed up, you know?
They got all these hormones. They're just running wild, right?
Do you think you could have a heart and just maybe look the other way?
And I promise I'm gonna set her down when I get home.
Next time, we will press charges.
Oh, you're a saint. I could kiss you.
You have my word.
I'm gonna send her to one of those Christian camps.
You know, where they put the Lord in her.
She's not my fucking mother.
Oh, here we go with that one again.
I've been excommunicated.
Sorry she did that.
Thanks for helping her.
It's no big whoop.
Gonna try on your beard oil?
You gonna try on your shorts?
You're lucky she stood up for you.
You could've got in real trouble.
Yeah, she's a real goddamn peach.
She went out of her way for you.
Didn't fuckin' ask her to.
Why'd you do it?
Why'd you start a fight instead of stealing the goddamn car?
What the hell are we here for?
I found the bus ticket in your bag.
What?
When?
You're gonna leave me.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, maybe I needed a backup plan.
Maybe I wasn't thinking straight when I came here with you.
This whole fucking time, it wasn't even about the car.
It was about your fucking mother. You're a liar.
No, I'm not.
I just didn't know what I wanted and...
Maybe I wanted...
I don't know, it's my family.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, like the fucking family that I left to come on this stupid trip?
For you?
She left you once, Wayne.
She'll do it again.
You left me once.
I'm not fucking sleeping in here.
Del, you don't have to...
I need to shower.
Okay, all right, we're leaving!
We left!
- Nice shirt. - Really? You're making fun of my shirt?
You're a shirt shamer.
Nice vest. Let me know when you kill Jason Bourne.
Well, that was fun.
No, that was not fun.
That was not fun!
We could've got arrested or worse!
But we didn't, so chill.
I had to cover everything you spent.
Okay? I'm a high school principal.
I don't have a lot of extra cash just laying around.
Now, I know you think you know a lot about life,
like how not to eat the last shrimp.
But you don't know shit about real life!
You're just a fucking kid!
Damn.
You hungry again already?
I'm sorry, I went berserker. I'm sorry...
I... I'm sorry.
Nah, that's okay.
It's kind of cool to have someone yell at me.
For once.
My grandma, um...
She got dementia, so...
Jesus, I had no idea.
She thinks I'm 47 years old.
What, for real?
Yeah.
I have to make sure the bills are paid.
You know, make sure the gas is turned off,
sign the health insurance forms.
Well, no kid should have to deal with that.
You were lookin' out for me.
It's nice to have someone else be the grown-up for once in my life.
I don't know...
You want me to keep yelling at you?
Nah, I'm good.
Let's go find Wayne. Yell at him instead.
You want me to take you for an ice-cream cone first?
If you can find one of those coin-operated spaceships,
you go on a little ride.
Ah, go fuck yourself.
You know, I think that Stacey liked me.
You know, like, like me, like me.
Yeah, she liked your money, too.
Del?
Next on Wayne...
So, you come all this way to eat my fucking cereal?
Or 'cause you miss your mama or some shit?
I've got my own candle business.
Anyone ask you to fucking do that?
Jesus fucking Christ!
He's gotta fucking go.
Regardless of how inconvenient this might be for you,
he's still my fucking kid.
We're gonna find Wayne...
Oh, watch out for the dog!
Looking for a boy named Wayne McCullough.
- Wayne is in danger. - Nobody's fucking with him.
The place is like a white trash fortress of meth heads and crocodiles.