Jesus Christ, Sean!
What'd I tell you about being careful with your goddamn drink?
You're spilling it all over.
Unbelievable.
Take it easy, hon.
Don't you go defending him.
He's soft enough because of you.
Two winners, you are.
I swear to God.
Hot chocolate, please.
Coffee.
And a little bit of cream.
My dad's dead.
My mom doesn't want me.
I've got no home.
And now...
Del is gone.
I'm alone.
You thirst for civilization, boy.
But civilization is unnatural.
A whim of circumstance.
We are barbarians.
And barbarism must always triumph.
Live deep while you live.
Know the rich juice of red meat and the stinging of wine on your palate,
the hot embrace of many women's arms.
We will live, we will burn with life,
we will slay.
Your quest for civilization
is a quest for illusion.
Reject it.
God damn it! What are you...
Are you gonna try to keep it in the lane there, genius?
I mean, for the love of God, what are you, stupid?
Don't call him stupid.
He's just a kid.
Hey!
What did I tell you?
What the hell did I say?
You know what? We're leaving.
I'm done with you two and your endless fuck-ups.
Get your shit.
Quit your crying and get your shit!
I don't know why I bother with you two.
What? And I'm the fucking bad guy?
- Huh? - It's okay, sweetie. Let's get your shoes on.
I'm the fucking bad guy?
Thanks for not being a big pussy about all this.
Ocala PD, this is Officer Burroughs speaking.
Okay.
Check one. One check. Check. Check.
Checking one. Check. Check. Check.
Check. Check one.
Check. Checking one. Check.
Check. Hey.
Come on down!
I told you to stop!
Sorry, Sarge.
Sergeant Geller, Brockton, Mass. PD.
Hey. Sorry. Little bit pumped.
Uh, big party tonight.
I bought, uh, balloons,
uh, some yummy candy.
I got this sign made, rented a karaoke machine.
So, pulling out all the stops.
Yeah, that's very thoughtful of you.
I'm sure whoever the party is for will appreciate that.
Well, the party is for me. I'm Darren.
Oh, well, if you don't treat yourself right, who will? Yeah?
I love that. I'm going to use that.
Okay.
Everybody here is a little bit tense
on account that I shot my partner on accident...
And now, he's in a coma and I guess nobody has ever
made a mistake in their life but me.
So, how can I help you?
I called about the McCullough boy.
Dropping off some of his personal effects.
Mind if I have a word with him?
No, no. Be my guest.
And if you want to stop by later and maybe hear me...
Lay some Pitbull on them...
Darren.
Yeah, Sarge.
Yeah, I know he's your brother, but he's my friend.
At some point you're gonna have to forgive me.
So, uh...
Florida Police have agreed to transport you back to Brockton if you'll cooperate.
I'll be waiting on you, help you sort things.
I know you didn't kidnap the girl.
There ain't nothing there for me no more, back home.
What about Del? She'll be there, won't she?
You know, her life is also gonna demand some restructuring.
Might be nice to do it together, no?
Start over.
Figure out your life?
Civilization is unnatural.
What's that?
I don't need it.
Any of it.
Anybody.
You know, Wayne,
everyone I've met along the way,
on this little journey to find you,
your principal, Orlando,
that nurse that looked after your father...
For someone who considers himself a loner,
you've affected a lot of people for the better, you know.
And, no matter how bad life treated you or betrayed you,
from where I'm sitting,
everything you do, it's done out of love.
And despite what you're telling yourself right now,
last I checked, love is civilization.
You're not the barbarian
you imagine yourself to be, young man.
You don't know me.
You know, when I was 11 years old, my older sister ran away from home.
I remember it was summer. Hot as hell, too.
Which made my parents fight a little louder and meaner than normal.
One Sunday morning, I guess to beat the heat,
my old man turns to us and says, "We're going to Skate Barn,"
which I knew to be a family roller skating establishment out near Randolph.
So, while my remaining sister and myself taught each other how to skate,
my parents sat back at the half wall, not speaking a word to each other,
drinking lemonade and smoking cigarettes,
and faking a weak smile and a thumbs up every time we would roll by.
And when we got tired, we wobbled in, came off the floor onto the carpet,
and we found that my father had laced up a pair of skates.
He looks at my mother and says,
"I'm gonna take a turn."
My father was a hard man, Wayne.
He's nobody you would ever describe as graceful.
But my sister and I stood at that half wall.
We watched as he just sort of drifted slowly back on the hardwood.
He gave us a nod like that and put his head over his right shoulder,
got into a crouch, just enough to push off
like it was in some sort of goddamn dream.
We watched our father just explode with pure speed
out into the current of all those other skaters.
Just weaving effortlessly in and out of everybody.
And then we watched him accelerate into the far corner.
He dropped his shoulder,
and his legs just crossing over and through each other like a racehorse like that.
He seemed to know where everybody was, and his hands were so beautiful.
Just brushing the air like that.
Here's this man who
tore through life like a racquetball.
My pop.
Turned Fred Astaire.
Just in tune with everything.
And then my father turned around and doubled his speed,
and came up to that gap in the wall
and stepped up onto the carpet breathing hard.
But I swear to God,
not that hard.
That night our mother took us into the bathroom
and she turned on both sinks to make a wall of sound,
and she told us the marriage was over.
And years later, I found out that, before and between the wars,
my old man was a competitive skate dancer,
a different man,
a man who one day stopped lacing up those skates
and succumbed to a world and a family and a life
he may have never wanted to begin with.
What did your dad do?
After?
Last I heard,
he was selling incense on the beach somewhere.
I guess what I'm trying to tell you, Wayne,
is you haven't laced your skates up yet.
And maybe this madness will continue, and maybe not.
And who knows, this sweet Delilah...
Maybe she's your pair of skates, huh?
I hope to see you back home in Brockton, Wayne.
I really do.
Go ahead, little pussycat.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Man.
Those animals, they ain't trained. People can get hurt.
Oh, yeah? Well, maybe next time you'll rethink your return policy, bitch.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ!
Where the fuck is he, you orange bucket of wine?
Look what you made me do. You made me drop my pinot grigio.
Are you kidding me?
Aw, look at the sad drunk.
Costco isn't open today, you bitch!
Where the fuck is he?
You know, the son you abandoned?
You fucking remember him?
You just abandoned him and you're giving me shit?
Go fuck yourself.
What are you doing?
No...
Don't you dare.
There's a picture of me and John Stamos on there that I have not backed up yet.
Where is he?
He got arrested. He's at the police station.
What did he do?
And if he's there, what the fuck are you doing here?
Look, I didn't ask him to come here, okay?
You assholes coming down here and messing with my life!
I got Calvin in jail. Again. Thank you very fucking much.
You know what? Fuck this. Give me your goddamn keys.
To my house? No.
To the car you stole, you fucking dunce.
I don't have the keys. Or the car, for that matter.
The police took it when they took Wayne.
Now why don't you guys go get the fuck out of here
before I call the cops because you're trespassing.
You know what? Fuck this. I'm gonna go get it myself.
Del.
Del!
Hey.
Who the fuck are you?
I... I'm Tommy Cole.
From Hagler. Hagler High?
No, I don't remember you.
- Were you always bald? - What?
We graduated the same year. We had, like, a dozen classes together.
I don't remember you.
Butthole Tommy Cole.
Butthole Tommy Cole!
Hey.
Just trying to help.
Butthole Tommy Cole. Get the fuck off my property.
Your dog looks like it's gonna croak.
Maybe take it to the woods or something.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no. Lucky?
Lucky, are you okay?
My God, this is not happening.
Okay. Where's the closest veterinarian?
- Out here? - Yes.
Yeah, no. We're in fuck nowhere.
Oh, you know what? There is this, uh, retired animal doctor.
I think he maybe takes meth for payment?
Fucking Florida.
You're not gonna die.
I'm not gonna let you die.
You're gonna be fine, Lucky, okay?
You're gonna be fine. It's gonna be okay.
Yo, hold up.
The dog is preggo.
- What? - You see the nipples on that thing?
Momma dog's about to have some puppies.
Yeah, not on my fucking patio, it's not.
Ocala Police Station.
- There is a Komodo dragon in my yard. - Wait, what?
A Komodo dragon. What the hell is a Komodo dragon?
A puma? No, wait.
I can't understand what you're saying.
Where are you?
A kangaroo?
What? You shot it or you didn't?
Okay, we'll be right down.
Was that you shooting the kangaroo just now?
All right, listen, everybody. We have a full scale 10-91b in Ocala County.
I need all units in the parking lot right now.
This is not a drill. Let's go.
Darren, you hold down the fort.
And keep an eye on that kid.
I got it.
That is some disgusting-ass shit.
Okay, it says, "Once you see the grayish sack falls from the vulva..."
Man, everybody gonna be throwing up in this motherfucker.
Here.
I had to wrestle a Puerto Rican woman and her daughter on Black Friday for these,
so don't say I ain't done nothing good for nobody.
It's okay. Okay.
I'm just gonna take you down slowly.
I see the grayish sack.
Oh, hell. No, no, no.
All right, all right, everybody,
give her some room! It's happening!
Good thing you love soup, with your jaw being wired shut and all.
Mmm. Yeah, fuck you, dude.
Look, I know that's the drugs talking, Jay,
but if it means something to you, I love you too.
I said fuck you, dude.
Jesus.
Drugs do not agree with you, my friend.
Huh. What's going on here?
I need units in front and back.
What's the situation?
Bunch of wild animals running around Ocala.
We've got reports of a lion, large snakes, an ostrich...
It's a puma!
Fuck! It's a fucking puma.
It's a fucking puma. Help me.
Help me!
Fucking help me!
Fuck!
I was really hoping for the ostrich.
- Hmm. - We're gonna need an ambulance at 1078.
I don't want excuses. Get it done.
Wait. Who's watching Wayne?
Can I help you with something?
Yeah.
I'd like to get my 1979 Trans Am.
Oh. Uh...
Vehicle is now in impound evidence.
It's being shipped back to Brockton, Massachusetts.
Well, that's all right, then.
Why don't you just go ahead and call me an ambulance?
For who?
You.
Get the fuck out of here. Talking about impounding and shit.
Motherfucker.
Oh. Hey, now.
Wayne.
Reggie.
Tied up like a goddamn animal.
Hey, you ever watch Animal Planet?
Did you know that hyenas don't have any brothers and sisters?
You know why?
Because when they real small, in the litter, fighting for they momma's titty,
well, you see, the toughest baby hyena, see, he, uh...
He kill his brothers and sisters.
More titty time for hisself.
Now I know you ain't gonna stop coming for my car,
so I'm gonna have to make you stop.
Make sure you don't come back for that titty.
I don't care about the car no more.
Bullshit.
I don't.
You can have it.
Are you trying to reverse my psycholology and shit?
Because I ain't biting.
Motherfucker.
What the fuck?
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
I need a knife to cut the cords!
I'm gonna faint.
- Uh... - I swear to God, this is child abuse, man.
- Shit. - Disgusting.
Okay, if you use these, then I gotta throw them away,
and I got them off an infomercial,
so I don't know if they're avail no more.
I'll buy you a better set!
Everybody's ruining all my nice things.
Is that a puppy head coming from out of a dog's ass?
It's not a dog's ass. That's a...
Pussy! Ass! Bitch!
I'm gonna fucking kill you, motherfucker.
Motherfucker.
No.
What the fuck?
Fuck.
So we're doing this?
Are we doing this?
My dick is hard.
Why?
Because...
You know...
You know what I meant.
Fuck you, motherfucker!
Let's do this, bitch.
Okay, there's one.
- Grab it. - No, don't touch that.
The mother will probably reject it if it smells you.
Tell her you got to push.
How? I don't know how to speak dog.
Just google it.
Come on, girl. You gotta fight! You gotta push.
Push. Push.
Orlando, help me. Push.
- Push. - Push.
No. No, like a dog. Push, push, push.
- Push, push. - Push, push.
She's doing it. Push. Push.
Hey, you fucking bitch.
Show me what you really got.
Sure.
What the fuck?
You motherfucker!
You're fucking dead now, Boston boy.
I'll fucking kill you!
Hey!
No biting, bitch.
Fuck you!
Oh, shit!
Oh, fuck yeah!
This puppy isn't breathing and Lucky's not doing anything about it.
It says this is common. Listen.
- "When a puppy isn't healthy..." - Yeah.
- "... the mother will reject it." - No, no, no.
No, no, no. No doggy deaths today.
Not here. Not now. Not on my watch.
Tell me what to do.
It just says the mother will bite through the amniotic sac.
Oh, shit.
What? No. What are you do... No!
No! No!
No.
- Fuck you. - Oh, no.
- Fuck you! - No. Fuck!
- No. No. - No. No.
Stop! That shit's nasty, man!
No. Stop!
- Oh, God! - Don't!
Oh, shit!
Give me one second, motherfucker. Just looking for some fucking bullets.
Whoo! Here we go.
Fuck yeah!
Found 'em!
You're fucked now, motherfucker.
This is some fucking Call of Duty shit right here.
I know what I'm getting myself for Bad Motherfuckers Day.
Get the fuck away from my boyfriend.
Hey, dummy.
Hey.
Okay.
You're pretty, aren't you?
You shoulda never fucked with Reggie.
Fucking dead now, bitch.
What?
What was that?
What are you trying to say?
Suck on Wayne's hammer, you hillbilly motherfucker.
Huh?
You all right?
I'm fine.
Oh, fuck.
Oh... Your elbow's out of your arm skin.
Oh, my God. That's fucking disgusting.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Okay, we gotta get out of here.
Car keys are in his jacket pocket.
Fuck.
I got 'em. Here.
Okay. Come on. Watch his feet.
All right, careful. Okay.
Careful. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
We're gonna go to the hospital.
I ain't going to the hospital. They'll arrest me.
Buckle the fuck up.
I did it.
They're all breathing. They are all alive.
Thank you, universe.
I'm gonna name all four of you.
Argus,
Artemis,
Amadeus,
Apricot.
You sure are cute, Apricot.
Glad we didn't drown you.
Me, too.
You know, when Wayne was little, if I left the house,
he would just stand in the front window and he would just...
Oh, he will just cry and slobber
and bang his head against it until I came home.
Yeah, even if I was gone for, like,
four hours or five hours, he would just refuse to move.
Mmm-hmm.
I think Wayne always knew that I was gonna leave him.
You know, you could still be something to him.
Yeah.
Hey.
It's okay, my bad.
Shouldn't have had all them Percocets.
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Okay.
Okay. Yeah.
Okay, I'm gonna say something,
and I never said it to nobody but my mom and my dad.
But I'm saying because I want to, because I fucking...
I fucking...
Don't you fucking laugh at me, okay?
Don't fucking laugh at me. I'll be so fucking...
Don't you fucking say it back, either, because if you say it back
then I'm gonna think you're saying it because I said it,
and fuck that shit, okay?
You hear me?
Wayne, I fucking...
I love you, Del.
Del!
Get the door.
Hey, sis.
Put her on your shoulder.
Easy.
Del...
Got her?
Got her.
Del...
Guess you thought you could count me out, hmm, handsome?
Think you're Brad fucking Pitts.
You ain't Brad Pitts.
I ain't that kind of motherfucker.
Hey, what do you say, huh?
Nose for a nose. Hmm?
Hey, good luck not dying, motherfucker.
Unbelievable.
What the fuck you looking at, bitch?
I'll be shitting on you, motherfucker!